tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-791155203294038702024-03-13T04:39:12.395-07:00****The Writing Exchange**** Shasta and Butte County Juvenile Hallschico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.comBlogger85125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-91125852491654601152024-03-10T13:37:00.000-07:002024-03-11T09:16:26.616-07:00<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #2011<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Make Sense After</span></u></b></p><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: 10pt;">So, it’s a new year and we’re already on our second month. It’s
crazy. I feel like this year just started a few days ago. Crazy how time flies
when your locked up #FREEME. This year I made a few resolutions and my main
ones are to lose weight and start working out more, but my big one is to just
be a BETTER ME.</span></div>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Not gonna lie, I wish I could have started this a long time ago
but it’s a little hard when you have no one to support you and no resources to
help you do it. That’s why I like it in here, because all the staff want me to
be better and I feel like it’s the little push I needed to actually want to. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It’s nice because we have groups that help us and I feel like it’s
helping me a lot. I feel like I’ve learned a lot already. There’s still a lot I
don’t understand, but it’s ok I have a while to figure it out. I heard this
quote and it’s that, “FAITH IS BELIEVING BEFORE WHAT WILL ONLY MAKE SENSE AFTER,”
and I like it because I feel like it relates to my goal to be a better me. I
still don’t really know or understand why I want to, but in the end I feel like
it’ll make more sense.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEWnudx8FsOjNjBjM_LmQqkg6NDCOQPPgIp_gwjZXHMuGCPFQBH7b5CopNcQjjpqId4LWlFGkLFGCLR_uWO7BpXtuMvSZXUZBoMA_qXADBkrzBgH2Xt9nsiIdj8sEEKNUZ2SHIx_eJtqiB8QecASX3OQIFQkff_lAW5KHGrbHr-RTrzS5Cqq9dwb2YTq2e/s345/Untitled.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="171" data-original-width="345" height="159" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEWnudx8FsOjNjBjM_LmQqkg6NDCOQPPgIp_gwjZXHMuGCPFQBH7b5CopNcQjjpqId4LWlFGkLFGCLR_uWO7BpXtuMvSZXUZBoMA_qXADBkrzBgH2Xt9nsiIdj8sEEKNUZ2SHIx_eJtqiB8QecASX3OQIFQkff_lAW5KHGrbHr-RTrzS5Cqq9dwb2YTq2e/s320/Untitled.png" width="320" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #2012</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Locked Up</span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Locked up, is
like being<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Suffocated.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Suffocation-<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">feeling trapped
and oppressed.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I feel like<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I can’t catch my
breath.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The sensation of
being <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">overwhelmed-<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">like a big weight
on <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">your chest.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I can close my
eyes<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">but I never rest.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">These walls that
close <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">me in-<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">they’re sometimes
foe<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">other times,
friend.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Their white
bricks offer comfort<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Until the
desperation<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">sinks in.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #2013<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Come to Find Out<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Growing up I never lived with my mom or dad; I was in and out of
foster homes. I got tired of bouncing back and forth from houses with people I
didn’t know, so I ran away from the system. I went and lived with the homies
for a few years. When my 14<sup>th</sup> year hit and I got in contact with my
mom and she said “I have to do paperwork to get you back,” but I didn’t really
know how I felt about that. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A couple months after she told me that information she got custody
of me. I moved back with her when I was 14, about to be 15, not knowing her
very well. But come to find out she’s a good parent to have. She might have a
bad history but the fact is she got things right to get her kids back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #2014<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Best Year<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">2024
is<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span> starting good, I should be getting
out soon. I want to throw away all of my bad sins I’ve done and start fresh.
I’m going to let go of all my bad habits- stealing, fighting, and robbing,
which furthered my incarceration. I’m starting by successfully getting out of
the Hall and getting off of probation. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’ve been setting some goals for
myself, such as being a loyal father and being there for my child. I’m going to
change my ways and be with my girl forever. I want to make my family proud and
happy with my progress. This is going to be a good year. I’m going to defeat my
problems and be successful. I’ve been locked up, but I’ll be out soon. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #2015<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Dear Uncle <o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I wish you could read this but you are not here. When I get out I
will burn it to hope my message finds you, because I cannot give it to you. I’m
going to tell you something you didn’t know about me before you left us.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What you should know is that when you left, it was hard for me to accept
you were gone. It was also hard for the rest of the family too, but mostly mom.
When mom drinks, she always talks about you and it is hard to see her cry. I
try to help her when she cries. It’s hard for her to handle losing you, because
you are her only brother.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I cannot lie: I needed you for a long time. My life changed when
you left us. I started getting into trouble to the point where I got locked up
for a long time. If you were here, you would have beat the **** out of me if I
got locked up for stealing or something.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Like I said, I will burn this message so you can see. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #2016<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Differences<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I hope to create a better person in myself this year and catch up
on school, earning my credits for all the time I missed. If I was to have a
do-over I wouldn’t have gone out and did what I did. The things I’ll say goodbye
to is the alcohol because I can’t control my actions when I’m under the
influence. A goal I want in life is to work as a lineman or work for the union
and I would make it happen by focusing and working hard. If I was to succeed it
would feel good. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">My parents are cool. My mom raised me while my dad was on drugs,
stealing cars, and doing dumb shit. The difference between my mom and dad is
that my mom works hard on her parenting while my dad just does what he does and
doesn’t help or anything. Yes, I would parent differently. I don’t want my kids
to be like me and do dumb shit and smoke weed and drink alcohol. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">My parents aren’t together. They split up when I was 2 or 3 and no,
they were never married. I love how my mom works hard and tries as much as she
can and tries to get me whatever I want. I wish my dad would just stay out of
the way and get a job and not do the drugs.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT5_bA_RR5SXlfxc_8h553bJZy-MRsCVld6Biol-xYpZslkdnuljEiafSB2gA7aQ5jRvzpWeVC6jou4IiTOYlDL3eto_XEHYLt9Iutdo4KJ-RffKHUTyRIop5h01S3fzyf3SErE4fBKGmwpNu1XdSb-yWjt3yhw4QbSkVTqqkC4EqSI6ly_tCaNjF2EsBq/s513/shamrock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="458" data-original-width="513" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT5_bA_RR5SXlfxc_8h553bJZy-MRsCVld6Biol-xYpZslkdnuljEiafSB2gA7aQ5jRvzpWeVC6jou4IiTOYlDL3eto_XEHYLt9Iutdo4KJ-RffKHUTyRIop5h01S3fzyf3SErE4fBKGmwpNu1XdSb-yWjt3yhw4QbSkVTqqkC4EqSI6ly_tCaNjF2EsBq/w200-h179/shamrock.jpg" width="200" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #2017<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Changing the Cycle<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sitting at home
alone again <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">waiting for you
to come tuck me in.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I sit in the
window, watching the cars drive past<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It usually takes
a couple hours until I realize<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">that you have
different intentions.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It’s as though we
don’t know how to talk<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">because we always
scream<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You must not have
noticed, but that caused <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">mental illness.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You posed as good
parents <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">but between you
and me<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I don’t think you
actually wanted me.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Being a good
parent is not much work-<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">it takes a lot of
patience and good communication,<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">love and
affection even when you are <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">stressing.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I must step up
and take responsibility <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">as I now have a
son who’s counting on me<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It’s time to
change the cycle, though I’m only<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">sixteen.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I will make sure
my son feels loved,<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">protected<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">and never
neglected.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I know you hope
that I will not succeed-<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">but thank you for
showing me<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">who not to be.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #2018<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Them Fools<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This year I hope to finish school, graduate, and get into college,
you feel me. A change that would be made is some of the people I used to hang
with I’m for surely cutting off: the people that aren’t here for me when I
really need them. Like fools can’t even put money on the phone or answer a
three-way call. It’s crazy how some girls be sending letters and be putting
money on the phone when these so called friends can’t even bother hitting up my
mom to see if I’m doing alright. I would be saying good-bye to them fools. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHjSNdy6aGxf34p1UDjspQwCNckRSUCgZFyLBxpD0fLSUYmpXjR7LvuwHh6vQT9RVNRrq4-K5L4NvyFpkL__s_YTlzLl_SvvnEjCfgY4xUw8MyALssECr_F71VqXuuiCk7eitQKqgFoTENZbJnD3jL64U4on4Fqiky026f8ri7154uZdY9WoYHI8vM7aNm/s800/658103347899.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="800" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHjSNdy6aGxf34p1UDjspQwCNckRSUCgZFyLBxpD0fLSUYmpXjR7LvuwHh6vQT9RVNRrq4-K5L4NvyFpkL__s_YTlzLl_SvvnEjCfgY4xUw8MyALssECr_F71VqXuuiCk7eitQKqgFoTENZbJnD3jL64U4on4Fqiky026f8ri7154uZdY9WoYHI8vM7aNm/s320/658103347899.png" width="320" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #2019<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">My Parents<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">All my life my mother has been there for me more than my father has
ever been. My mother demands and earns respect and kindness. Having lots of
respect for the people around you can help you in the long run in many
different ways no matter how you see things in your own eyes. Being negative
can affect you and the people around you and drag people down into feeling bad
about themselves. My father thinks much differently, he thinks no matter what
is said or done it shouldn’t matter much or affect anyone around you in anyway.
When I become a parent, I’m going to teach my kids much differently than my
mother or my father. I want my kids to be respectful but never be walked on.
I’m going to raise my kids much different because of my experiences growing
up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Me and my father are no longer close
anymore because of family issues. My favorite thing about my relationship with
my mother is the connection and the ability to open up to my mother and tell
everything. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #2020<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The Escape<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Sometimes you need to get away from yourself/other people. Most
people would listen to music, watch a movie, smoke, talk to someone, get on
their phone, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One thing that I’ve
learned to do to get away while being locked up is reading.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A lot of people like to read, but most don’t.
I was part of the people who didn’t like to read, but I’ve learned that reading
can be an escape from everything, especially when people are talking crazy to
you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once you open up the book you get
lost in it and it’s like you are not yourself, and living the life of the main
character. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #2021<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Let Alone Three<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">My parents weren’t the best in the world. I can even bet you that
they wouldn’t be the best at show of “PARENTS OF THE WORST KIND!” They would
have needed to be on something like, “TERRIBLE PEOPLE WHO SHOULDN’T HAVE HAD A
KID, LET ALONE 3.” My father has been the one I’ve lived with most of my life
and to be honest it was great at first. But then we drifted apart which may
have been for the best because I would have never been able to become who I am
today without my flaws and past history. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Now my mother on the other hand was someone who really was never
around. I mean, she tried to be, but she has a lot of her own problems. She
can’t really help the fact that she’s crazy or maybe she is just lying about
that too. That’s just who she is and how she’s always been. But hey, I still
love them more than anything in the world. My momma tried her best with my
brothers and myself but she just couldn’t handle us one day and gave up. That,
I do kind of blame her for because I just don’t think it should be that easy to
let go of someone that you are responsible for bringing to life. I wasn’t raised
in the right ways so now I’m struggling in life, and I do believe strongly that
if I was raised differently I would be a lot more successful. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">My parents haven’t really been together since I was young. My
parents were married for a second time, a month after I was born. My dad left
my mom for our babysitter, 2 years later after my little brother was born. So,
now, they have three kids: my oldest brother, me, and our little brother. Yup,
that was us, a stepmom, a dad, and sometimes a mom. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What I have always hated with both of my parents and now my third
one, was that no matter what, I was always identified to be the smaller version
of my mom. That was a really messed up thing to say, because I know that I
would have done so many things differently and not ever would I make the same
mistakes that woman did.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #2022<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Starting Over<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I’m 15 years old I’ve been locked up for a couple months. I think I’ll
get out in 6 months to a year. When I do I will go live with my aunt and start
over. I miss the outs. I hope I don’t get in trouble again. I also hope I
succeed in life. At home I live with my mom and two brothers. We also have a
Frenchie.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #2023<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Incorrectly Correct <o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">To succeed is
something I feel is phrased correctly, but incorrectly. I feel it can be said
“to succeed” or “to be content”. Both are alike, but to succeed is to read a
goal, to be content is to continue succeeding, but to enjoy where you are at
life. For myself to view things as a success, I would first have to feel it.
Feeling content with the job I may have, is a view of success. Saving and spending
reasonably is another thing. To know I can handle things with or without
support openly and honestly “want” to do so, is success. Finding the time I
spend with work, education, self-care and relations, as well as reasonably and
comfortably divided is success. Being able to get through the rough areas, not
with ease, but time and patience to continue growing into who I enjoy being, is
success. Life can be a lot of things, but being where I enjoy and want to be to
grow into who I love being, that is success. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><u><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p><span style="text-decoration: none;"> </span></o:p></span></u></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #2024<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">2024<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This new year is 2024. If I can create something I would create a
better bond with my family. Or maybe I could create bonds with new people. If I
had a do-over/a clean slate, I would create myself to be a better person. I
wouldn’t hang out with the same people I do today. Create a life I want before
it’s too late. If that was possible I would be saying goodbye to my brothers,
my dad…everyone really. The goal I would set for my future self is to make the
most out of everything in my life. You may never know when you will lose it. It
would look like the best day of my life to know I can accomplish these things.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx5r-e7eHpToq9X2XGQPNfxURUsUsqcx9uv9CDJJbHmHpaW75PVpnhgVrTuizw-aidVv6swEnYZmSvYsr_7am7yJk58LR3BD2RdgQPtIZLmUYZ5h-Lq1Ib1ePgnNQsXa9rwk4hz9uMMECLcrUqtV_jW-PzyiKLm7r7U3T53NPy_xX31nAafx3E2m3-wN9k/s526/WE%20Armed.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="222" data-original-width="526" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx5r-e7eHpToq9X2XGQPNfxURUsUsqcx9uv9CDJJbHmHpaW75PVpnhgVrTuizw-aidVv6swEnYZmSvYsr_7am7yJk58LR3BD2RdgQPtIZLmUYZ5h-Lq1Ib1ePgnNQsXa9rwk4hz9uMMECLcrUqtV_jW-PzyiKLm7r7U3T53NPy_xX31nAafx3E2m3-wN9k/s320/WE%20Armed.png" width="320" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #2025<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">On a Stage<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If I were given a clean slate I would think about my past choices,
a lot more specifically, keep my mind on positive things. If that happened I
would definitely be on a stage rapping a song that anyone being thrown through
the ringer will relate to. Drugs is only one of the things I would say goodbye
to, having a choice. I would be getting my whole family into big houses, nice
cars, and giving them lots of money. I know that writing and singing/rapping my
songs will take me and my family out of current situations such as poverty,
unemployment, and hopelessness. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #2026<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dad Taught Me Well<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What makes a
parent is always being there for their kids and giving good advice. Also, by
getting them to learn how to make fires, food, and money and how to teach them
to work on cars and work hard. My mom was never there for me or my siblings. My
dad was there and is still there for us. My dad may have been hard on us boys
but we benefited from it because of how hard he made us work. Sure, he beat our
*** when we got in trouble. It made us think about our choices and that is how
it is sometimes. My dad taught me well other than me choosing to do wrong. Now
I have to be somewhat the same with my kids so hopefully they don’t do the same
**** I was doing. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-86045475158427242592023-12-04T15:12:00.000-08:002023-12-04T15:12:55.110-08:00<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">Entry
#1990<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">Changes</span></u></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">It’s
crazy how much my life has changed in the past 5 years. I used to just be a
little boy filled with innocence and just worried about my grades in school. I
wanted to be one of the first people in my family to earn my high school
diploma. I still will be, but it’ll be earned in Juvenile Hall. Even though I
seemed innocent I was still walking in on my dad twisting the pipe and shooting
up heroin. I was stuck getting abused by both parents as well. I would go into
public, hiding the bruises on my body and my emotions. I was always taught from
a young age to never snitch and to not show emotion because if you do, people
will use the emotions against you.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">My
whole life switched around when I got kicked out. I was homeless so I had to
steal so I could eat and I had guns so I could survive from people who claimed
they wanted me gone. I started selling, dealing, and doing drugs. I started
stealing so I could make money. There were not a lot of options. From being
locked up I’ve realized a lot of people only love you when you’re dead in a
grave or shackled in a cage. My best friends’ mom (who I called Mom) let me
move in with them, but at that point I was already addicted to the streets.
It’s the only way I knew.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">I
started stealing cars and cutting catalytic converter for fun and an extra
couple bucks in my pocket. I still remember one time when I came home in the
middle of the night. My “Mom” saw me with my gun on my lap. She yelled my name
and I told her it was just a BB gun. She knew I was lying, but she loved me like
her own son so she just didn’t know what to do and walked away. She didn’t know
what to say at that point. She knew my negative behaviors where getting worse.
She just couldn’t do anything about it. God, I wish I just listened to my “Mom”
instead of stealing shit, and selling weed, coke, pills, all of it. Now I’m
locked up worried about my past. I wish I never had my finger on that trigger.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgycXgmUuiqmtie9n6Q-6DtxqAjfB2je4NH5ZLv5UFQQyRW9zTMhcvUUsGCplYSDTcOeA62tTerdVGelSn9CTdD6HOF6iyzrXZkd-y1CojE8CRby47vq6pRoUi1eBildONSWyyxLzRF6bq0l1IPZ4_4G_pP3G-cC8qIKNGceQBj__lI2y-qDhOFMVXltSjO/s368/W.E.%20Unleashed%20Adolescents.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="193" data-original-width="368" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgycXgmUuiqmtie9n6Q-6DtxqAjfB2je4NH5ZLv5UFQQyRW9zTMhcvUUsGCplYSDTcOeA62tTerdVGelSn9CTdD6HOF6iyzrXZkd-y1CojE8CRby47vq6pRoUi1eBildONSWyyxLzRF6bq0l1IPZ4_4G_pP3G-cC8qIKNGceQBj__lI2y-qDhOFMVXltSjO/s320/W.E.%20Unleashed%20Adolescents.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">Entry
#1991<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><a name="_Hlk152573629"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">The Lies I Told</span></u></b></a><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">Man, I’m locked up
and missing my aunt and daughter. She just turned five and I promised her I was
coming to get her, but that was just another lie. When I came in here I was in
bad shape. I was on drugs and I was on the verge of death. It has been two
years since the last time I saw my daughter. It was after I drove her and her
mother to Washington. Most people think I gave up on her. That was not the
case.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t want my baby girl around
the drugs, like my family did to me, always cooking dope and selling. I wanted
better for her. I left so I could get better. This was a lie I told myself. You
know, coming in here was the best for me; I’m clean. I almost lost my life and
my daughter almost lost her dad. I am about to be 18 this year and looking
forward to getting out and seeing her again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">1992</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
Broken Inside of my Life</span></u></b></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></u></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If
you knew me you would know I'm broken inside.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
would know I'm scared of love.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
would know I cry myself to sleep every night. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
would know I will always be alone in my life. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If
you knew me you’d know I trust no one. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
would know I want to die, but I can’t. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
would know I want to be free. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
would know I live a painful life.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If
you knew me you would know I love any type of art.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
would know I pray to God to heal me of pain.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
would know I am a protector.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If
you knew me you would know I'm a lone wolf. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
would know I grew up in an abusive home. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
would know I was beaten by my own family. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
would know I was on the streets when I turned 12 years old. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If
you knew me you would know I prefer peace, not violence.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
would know I’m scared of weapons. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
would know I won’t ever touch drugs and alcohol. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If
you knew me you would know I want to get out. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
would know I lose everyone I show love. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
would know I want change. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
would know I hate to shed my tears in front of others. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If
you knew me you would know I have a good heart.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
would know I act without thinking.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
would know I will be here for a long time.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
would know I will be a man of success. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If
you knew me you would know I lost everything.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If
you knew me you would know I stick up for what’s right. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
would know this is who I am.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxs_B3pD0BYTWMk_wPNfBjnL4E31Qjxx8uZR8SnRmQIAj9nfLR8_A4lAMGijZcq3B3AtJZDlHKPJVotL4_TOsqFbGb3TJWtYRnyBCp-G0H6QAMEebn1Uy-awdYT72K_v-uP4zp60mcpLj0JjqT1LSC6kYb86ys5PFa8PL2pHiIP0g7Y8DHnAee0VRTsVXh/s916/sWAN%20we.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="668" data-original-width="916" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxs_B3pD0BYTWMk_wPNfBjnL4E31Qjxx8uZR8SnRmQIAj9nfLR8_A4lAMGijZcq3B3AtJZDlHKPJVotL4_TOsqFbGb3TJWtYRnyBCp-G0H6QAMEebn1Uy-awdYT72K_v-uP4zp60mcpLj0JjqT1LSC6kYb86ys5PFa8PL2pHiIP0g7Y8DHnAee0VRTsVXh/s320/sWAN%20we.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></b></span></div><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></b></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry
#</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">1993</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Face to Face<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Thanksgiving
is my favorite time of the year. The food, the family, the traditions, I
believe it is the best time of the year. Sadly, I have to be locked up for this
year’s Thanksgiving. I’ve missed other holidays in the time I have been here
such as the 4th of July and Halloween, but those holidays don’t have a whole
lot of deep meaning. But Thanksgiving is a holiday I give a **** about. Me and
my family have a get together and make a whole bunch of food and it's only
around Thanksgiving we all get together and get to see each other face to face.
Any other time of the year everyone is wrapped up in their own lives, so it’s
definitely frustrating that I am locked up for this Thanksgiving. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">Entry #1994<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">Life
in the Hall<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">Here in the hall we wake up around six
o’clock to shower. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">On a normal day on the outs, to keep it
real, I’d be waking up when we are having lunch in the hall, around 11-12.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">I would wake up, usually turn some music
on, and start loading a bowl. After that I’d get something to eat depending if
I’m going somewhere that day. I would start on getting ready, doing my hair, my
makeup and getting an outfit for the day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">On a weekend in the hall after breakfast
we’d have free rec: playing cards, reading books, stuff like that. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">On the outs I don’t do any of those things
so personally it gets hella boring in here doing the same shit over and over
again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">We also have groups with B n G that we
often go to sometimes. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">On the outs I don’t go to any type of
groups so around the time in here when we’re doing group, I’d usually be out
doing something, maybe sliding to a cousin’s house, making plans or chillin’ by
myself in my room. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">After doing the same lame shit all day
everyone has different bed times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got
8:30. On the outs around 8:30, if I’m home, I’m just chillin once again,
listening to music, smoking and enjoying my alone time. If I’m not home I’m out
doing who knows what with some friends, maybe some fam. Anything but getting
ready for bed at 8:30.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRnnwnxHhHib8sxQkewbtbjq2EvyboofxjMK3ht2Tpnh7StG6DTz482yb6ugDchQ5rHjjes1KuUjziBX04XbAairVTVpf7A-NKCa-OrQ7LY6ilkCbqqxLjhfeaziEw9T6R4SBGpBAbm5jk2Bd6Zr2Utix1FZyv0fLuFZNo-w49yrjB8gFqawOXoyMwkXnc/s715/dragon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="494" data-original-width="715" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRnnwnxHhHib8sxQkewbtbjq2EvyboofxjMK3ht2Tpnh7StG6DTz482yb6ugDchQ5rHjjes1KuUjziBX04XbAairVTVpf7A-NKCa-OrQ7LY6ilkCbqqxLjhfeaziEw9T6R4SBGpBAbm5jk2Bd6Zr2Utix1FZyv0fLuFZNo-w49yrjB8gFqawOXoyMwkXnc/s320/dragon.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></span></div><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry
#</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">1995</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Days Can Be Heavy</span></u></b></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></b></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Locked
up for the holidays. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It’s
okay to feel upset.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Some
of us always have so much to say.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Thinking
tends to make it where we can’t forget.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Days
can be heavy. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Tears
may be shed….<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Many
tell of how they may have bled.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Some
of us need music to stay steady.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Most
of us had to live on our own, on our toes always ready.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">There
are also the days we all get along. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
could say we seem like we’d never do any wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Our
differences being set aside only lasts so long. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Being
in here no matter for how long.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Please,
take a moment to understand.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We
can be a raging tsunami,<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We
can bring the feeling like the smell after rain.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Our
stories can be beautiful, chaos we’ve managed to contain.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry
#</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">1996</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Out for the Holidays <o:p></o:p></span></u></b></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Nowadays,
I get to go on the outs for holidays. I got to go out for Thanksgiving. I got
to go see my family and chat it up with them and rough house with them. I got
to joke around, play games, and make food. I got to go to my homeboys and chat
it up with them. This made me feel like I could get through this program. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">Entry #1997<u><o:p></o:p></u></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">My Favorite Holiday <o:p></o:p></span></u></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">My favorite holiday has always been
Christmas. I like Christmas because you get to spend quality time with your
family: bake cookies and have a fun time. At least that’s how it used to be.
Nowadays I have my juvenile hall family to look forward to. This will be my
second Christmas in this place and many more to come. I may never spend another
holiday with my family, but that’s okay. I will still make the best of every
memory I have in this place because I have to keep the mindset that I may never
leave. If I was home maybe all of my brothers and sisters would be there even
though we don’t have much as far as presents for each other, we had good
memories. Maybe I will get a letter or something. I hope they have the best
Christmas even if I’m not there.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6O6yA2Vs_BrAl40_cR0ji-5G4wG1AqGsFgYYTzHxS3N0gJrjqJ3bysUaqwb8guTedfgnXWsjaC_r7kWvQWhB6iK1XY_TgJytPgJIjiTf77DsVij3KRi2Ko67vHqUO0rAGLSMTW9BIalPostCCCN531EgjXSPfiQcMtZo1fZsxq6a5zgWYMgoUKeS0B2sU/s1060/mushroom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="824" data-original-width="1060" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6O6yA2Vs_BrAl40_cR0ji-5G4wG1AqGsFgYYTzHxS3N0gJrjqJ3bysUaqwb8guTedfgnXWsjaC_r7kWvQWhB6iK1XY_TgJytPgJIjiTf77DsVij3KRi2Ko67vHqUO0rAGLSMTW9BIalPostCCCN531EgjXSPfiQcMtZo1fZsxq6a5zgWYMgoUKeS0B2sU/w400-h311/mushroom.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></span></div><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry
#</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">1998</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Holiday
Imprisonment</span></u></b></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></u></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My
favorite holidays are Thanksgiving and Christmas. I like Thanksgiving because I
love to make new types of dessert and other food. I love to cook and it’s a
tradition that I will keep forever in my life. I like Christmas because I can
see other people open their gifts and decorate my house in a variety of colors
and shapes. I like to see people celebrate a holiday because they can be happy
and joyful. I will be locked up for Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, and New
Year’s. I have missed a bunch of holidays here and I still have more to miss.
My traditions are to wake up at 3:00 in the morning, cook a lot of good food
and play games with the people I love and care for. I hope they have a great
holiday time of the year. Love you all and have a great time celebrating
holidays. I want my freedom back so I can have celebrations with the ones I
love and so I can be there for them.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">Entry #1999<o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">Gone<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">I don’t really have a favorite holiday but
if I had one it would probably be Thanksgiving. I am going to be in juvenile
hall during that holiday. My family would be cooking, cleaning, shopping, and
setting stuff up. Usually I’m helping, but I’m going to be in here. I’ve never
been away from my family during a holiday. This would be my first time. I wish
I was out to be with them but I made bad choices so I’m in here. It’s crazy to
think that they can just lock you behind a door but that’s how the world works.
I still get visits but it isn’t the same as when you’re out with your family
having fun. The most crazy part is in here I only think about my friend that
passed. He was my best friend and that’s all that goes through my mind. It’s
crazy to think he’s gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry
#</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">2000</span></span><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The Hustle<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My
favorite holiday is Christmas. I’ve missed Thanksgiving this year. Last year I
missed Easter. I’ve been locked up and they aren’t ever letting me out. I’ve
missed two summers and I miss my family too. For Christmas, I got presents but
I never had a get together. My favorite holiday memory was being with my mom.
She always hustled to get me what I wanted. Free me out of the box. You know
how it goes. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1pLpc40Y9EtRDjMKDhCGRfLxfrZfwEoCY2vthUCEwOeiRtS14FpLx7SK-MlHTfeN5rqhlxiWKGWDfvRy2FKYqRHsXPu603KKDDMSZM-N-1FN-wSF1plBWXwatWh7cKg7NTvLYajL_ZHjvOTQ7F17-aZfVD0mFTbzUG4cfKMms4iCzCN_KnCELR3py2ZIY/s732/plant.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="732" data-original-width="517" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1pLpc40Y9EtRDjMKDhCGRfLxfrZfwEoCY2vthUCEwOeiRtS14FpLx7SK-MlHTfeN5rqhlxiWKGWDfvRy2FKYqRHsXPu603KKDDMSZM-N-1FN-wSF1plBWXwatWh7cKg7NTvLYajL_ZHjvOTQ7F17-aZfVD0mFTbzUG4cfKMms4iCzCN_KnCELR3py2ZIY/s320/plant.jpg" width="226" /></a></span></span></div><span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span><p></p>
<span style="mso-bookmark: _Hlk152573629;"></span>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">Entry
#2001<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">Chasing Money<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">If
you knew me you would know I’ve been homeless before<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">you
would know I’ve been loyal <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">you
would know I am respectful <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">If
you knew me you would know my parents have been on drugs my whole life <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">If
you knew me you would know that I like sports <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">If
you knew me you would know that I have been chasing money <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">If
you knew me you would know that I have been doing my school <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">would
know that I’m trying to get a diploma <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">If
you knew me you would know I like to write raps <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">If
you knew me you would know that I have not lived with my brothers my whole life
<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">you
would know that I got arrested and went to juvenile <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">Entry
#2002<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">Safe Demon<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">In
here I wake up at six in the morning and get to working out. If I was out I
would wake up around 10 or 11, take a shower, and eat. Then I’d hit up the
homies and go out mobbing, making money, and getting faded. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">In
here I get to take warm showers. On the outs I had to take cold showers because
the water heater was always breaking and my mom barely had enough money to pay
the rent and put food on the table. In here I can sleep hella good and I’m not
up all night having to watch my back with a lemon-squeeze all up on my lap. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">I
was only like 14 when I saw my cousin get popped up in the chest. This ****
hurts when momma can’t even look into my eyes because she raised a lil’ demon. She’s
always telling me, “Baby boy, you need to stop sinnin.” Nah, but anyway, I’m
low-key proud I’m locked up because my moms can fall asleep knowing her aka
demon is safe up in here.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhey2j7IuPdzHFWcoOgQk-CpEK9vOZTFf8kylKqI7IeKWrJ9Ri03TF4E7BcIqsQN71OLsQtaGNciQYTNbxtlltgv7Oj-WfIxD4MK5xSWE-KCqfes0AM7GqsI7Etdganq9qHt-MWAXCAqMuaR1dIy_ZRKngjHrs7MMzo1xl5_o5K79Mt0HqksC1f2D0gYN1O/s720/logo.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="349" data-original-width="720" height="155" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhey2j7IuPdzHFWcoOgQk-CpEK9vOZTFf8kylKqI7IeKWrJ9Ri03TF4E7BcIqsQN71OLsQtaGNciQYTNbxtlltgv7Oj-WfIxD4MK5xSWE-KCqfes0AM7GqsI7Etdganq9qHt-MWAXCAqMuaR1dIy_ZRKngjHrs7MMzo1xl5_o5K79Mt0HqksC1f2D0gYN1O/s320/logo.png" width="320" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">2003</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">All
That Mattered<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> My
favorite holiday is, for sure, Halloween. It was last month and I was locked up
for it. Yes, I’ll also be locked down for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I’ve
missed many holidays which I don’t really mind because I don’t have a stable
enough family to celebrate them with anyways. Last Christmas, I remember being
happy when me and my ex were coming down off perks and I got to watch him and
his two sisters open the stuff their dad bought them. It made me happy to see
them happy. At my “home” we don’t really have traditions or big meals. Mom was
always broke so I didn't really trip off it, but she would always try her best.
That’s all that mattered to me. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">2004</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Haunted
House Binge-<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My favorite holiday is Halloween,
and unfortunately, I missed Halloween of 2023 because I was stuck here. Last
Halloween, I dressed as Little Red Riding Hood and went to a crappy party with
people that I didn’t like because I thought that I should “try something new”
instead of trick or treating. I was planning on making it up the Halloween that
I spent here by going on a haunted house binge and trick or treating with my
boyfriend. We had matching costumes picked out - I was going to be Red Riding
Hood again and he was going to be the Big Bad Wolf. Good stuff, right? Anyways,
I’ll be spending Christmas and Thanksgiving locked up because I won’t be
getting furloughs until February, but I’m not that bummed about it because my
family hasn’t celebrated either of those holidays in like seven years now.
Halloween was a much greater loss, but you know, we move on. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3SnUVVTS25BT3IAT-ooIy4vYNThLexmDCM7F427L08jRD8AkD-HlQPrdhBLSEJOzif_-esAuVdDCHY37xvj8MjSCVTCmWpFT_OKap_n8enbDQGLVu-bi4fNqz9wPKcse1Rb_gnWkasB5n8jaba0gJi_iTj4ACdGNPgtqATDkrnrWwgW-KwbackJ0tvUKd/s1077/design%20%231.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="760" data-original-width="1077" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3SnUVVTS25BT3IAT-ooIy4vYNThLexmDCM7F427L08jRD8AkD-HlQPrdhBLSEJOzif_-esAuVdDCHY37xvj8MjSCVTCmWpFT_OKap_n8enbDQGLVu-bi4fNqz9wPKcse1Rb_gnWkasB5n8jaba0gJi_iTj4ACdGNPgtqATDkrnrWwgW-KwbackJ0tvUKd/w400-h283/design%20%231.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">Entry
#2005<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">Locked Up <o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">In
the hall we get up at 6, take showers, breakfast at 7:30, and go to school at
8:30. I eat about the same ins and outs. It’s not the best place to be. I’d way
rather be with my family. This is my first time being away from home for this
long. It sucks because my mom is at home all alone and it’s a lot to think
about in my cell. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">Lunch
at 12 dinner at 5. At home I can eat whatever and whenever I want. I pray I get
out soon so my mom has company. And I’m going to do whatever I can to change my
ways. I miss my dad a lot. He’s the best role model to look up to. I’m going to
fix everything I’ve done, for my parents and myself, for good. I just hope my
parents and friends are proud of me because I know and everyone else knows I
can be better and I am better than this. I know I can do this. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">Entry #</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">2006</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Out
and In<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My day on the outs’ starts off with
waking up and going outside for some fresh air and walking my dog. As for being
in the hall, I wake up staring at four brick walls, staring out a small window
and not getting any fresh air.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">On the outs’ there are multiple
choices for food. In the hall you get the same three meals over and over again.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In the hall you deal with a bunch of
little kids arguing over nothing, throwing a fit when they don’t get their way.
Let’s just put it this way - the worst day on the outs’ is still better than
the best day in here.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq5P1nbrfCJkpjjKTMzSSeht2Drb1g5z6qmWTySu8VG1LkXnBLpzXy9F9Z_4L-KMOyEFGFzBlVpncNusIGT3pbNwJLa3WFVEqRb9xvmSO3_bG9wEwWcHjix8cYqhyphenhyphen94ZiqqlfecapzVIY9droxElK2e3mLwJxfo1r9Geyz5Q7shPli3JWqzhPbGQk5yLi-/s1894/life%20hurts.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="731" data-original-width="1894" height="124" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq5P1nbrfCJkpjjKTMzSSeht2Drb1g5z6qmWTySu8VG1LkXnBLpzXy9F9Z_4L-KMOyEFGFzBlVpncNusIGT3pbNwJLa3WFVEqRb9xvmSO3_bG9wEwWcHjix8cYqhyphenhyphen94ZiqqlfecapzVIY9droxElK2e3mLwJxfo1r9Geyz5Q7shPli3JWqzhPbGQk5yLi-/s320/life%20hurts.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">2007</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I
Can’t Wait<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What I miss on the outs is hanging
out with my family. Doing things with my little brothers and my older brothers.
I miss going to see my older brother that's locked up. I really miss my dog. I
know he is sad because I have been gone for three months. He's only 9 months
old. He’s a French Bulldog named “Tank.” I also miss my parrot. His name is
Wally, and he talks and has the mind of a 3rd grader. He’s an African gray
parrot. What I miss the most is my mom and my dog. I can’t wait until I can go
home and hangout with my family and Tank. Also, I miss my friends. I miss
normal food, especially my mom’s homemade food. I really miss my bed. The bed
hurts my back so bad, I hate it. I hate being locked up. I also miss going to
the coast and the beach. I miss walking my dog on the beach. I also miss taking
my dirt bike to the flats and riding it. It’s hella fun. There are a lot of
hill climbs and a lot of trails that lead back to where you started. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">Entry
#2008<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">Locked Up for The Holidays<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">My
favorite holiday is Christmas. Will I be incarcerated during
Thanksgiving/Christmas? I don’t know. I guess I’ll find out in two days. I
really hope not, but if I am I’ll be pretty upset because I already missed
Halloween and it sucked. I’ve only missed that one holiday and I’m not trying
to miss any other. I’m just trying to do my time, get out, and do better for
myself. For the holidays my sister and my little brother, they are always
around. I used to live with my grandma and that’s where everybody celebrates
Christmas. We all go over, have a good meal, and watch Christmas movies. We
always have mashed potatoes and gravy and some turkey or something like that. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO-IsWAmicsC6FfHblYwux0VjUnNY-e7SkmYrRcnBoyOjfcyuMMBip4ijApDCLVrGa1eHkLj8UuhLHBh1GWVIioHhplTZKfp3gt4UbKuxZfpUbLdDXsEbbEfUhUSK_UXxfMikMXcl7DypKtxJspRCTbeYB4Z1FpemYlInB9lsqMdQvCnznAoeeTfr9eeHr/s519/Write%20or%20wrong.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="260" data-original-width="519" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO-IsWAmicsC6FfHblYwux0VjUnNY-e7SkmYrRcnBoyOjfcyuMMBip4ijApDCLVrGa1eHkLj8UuhLHBh1GWVIioHhplTZKfp3gt4UbKuxZfpUbLdDXsEbbEfUhUSK_UXxfMikMXcl7DypKtxJspRCTbeYB4Z1FpemYlInB9lsqMdQvCnznAoeeTfr9eeHr/s320/Write%20or%20wrong.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">2009</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Holidays<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> I’ve
been locked up for a while now. I’ve been down for Christmas, Halloween,
birthdays, New Year’s, and Thanksgiving…..basically, all of them. But I am
going to get out for Christmas and New Year’s. The only thing I am upset about
is that I missed my little sister's birthday. But it’s all good. I’ll be home
soon. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;">2010</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Incarcerated
for Christmas<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My favorite holiday is Christmas. I
will be incarcerated for Christmas, and I was for Thanksgiving. I’ve missed a
couple holidays since I’ve been incarcerated and a handful of events.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If I was on the outs I would
probably be hanging around my friend’s house or at my house with my family.
It’s boring here and there’s not a lot to do. If I was home for the next
holiday it would be really nice. We would all celebrate.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-26952074499748737582023-10-27T09:54:00.002-07:002023-10-27T12:33:02.394-07:00<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1970</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Quality Time</span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">The
moment I’ll never forget in my life is moving back in with my mom and dad after
7 ½- 8 years of being in CPS and without them. I’ll never forget it because my
mom and dad lost custody when we were pretty young. Well not really, we left.
My mom got back on dope and then started to beat us again. Then my dad got back
on dope. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">My
mom would take me to rob houses. I’ll never forget the houses we hit or what I
found, only because those times were like the only times me and my mom wouldn’t
fight and argue. We were happy during those times. I’ll never forget my dad
always choosing my mom over his kids. I’ll never forget those times, because
those times were the worst times of my life. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Another
moment I will never forget is before my mom and dad got back on dope. They took
my little brother and I to an AA and NA meeting in Redding. It was amazing. We
had so much fun. When we got their we saw a bunch of people there that we knew.
After the meeting there was this badass concert. It was a recovering drug
addict who was the rapper. I’ll never forget it because it was one of the most
beautiful moments I’ve ever spent with both my parents.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1971</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0px;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><b><u>Glass Walls</u></b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0px;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">The
moment I won’t forget is the day the cops knocked on the door while my mom was
playing with me and my sister. My mom told me she would be right back. I remember
being upset that she had to step out while we were visiting: we only got twice
a month. I went to the door cause my mom was taking a long time.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">As
I made it to the door they were putting her in cuffs. I started to cry. My
heart sank. She kept saying, “It’s OK, I will be back.” That day my grandma
came to pick me up. I was still crying, wondering why those men took my mom and
all my grandma would say was that my mom made bad choices.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-indent: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">Two
weeks later my grandma said, “We are going to see your mom.” I thought I was
going to get a hug, but when I got there it was glass between us. This was
tough to understand.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #1972<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Trying
to Deal<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’ve lost so many family members I
loved. But then I lost my best friend, and that really broke my heart even more
than losing some of my family members. I didn’t get a chance to mourn over her
death. I guess I just had to deal with it and keep it pushing, even though it
broke my heart worse than any guy/boy/man ever could. I never went through a
healing process. I just sat with it, and still do, to this day.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I would’ve loved to see better days
for her. Even when you think someone is happy and doing well, they could still
be hurting. Just not showing it. That’s how I deal with it, too.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What I miss about her the most is
her personality. She was always so bubbly and had a smile on her face even when
I knew for a fact she was hurting. She always made sure her little sister was
happy, and had everything she needed. I loved how she didn’t care what
people thought. She was a blessing to have as a best friend/sister to me.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3yrlrSLoP2amRvKmIQ3N2H5quxAsMrP7QbMh-m7SxNT5k28U7lK4gRxmY9JnhsHX7C06j3BN3jLA3xXoJPIqmjG_6wJ4VcCLDK87CfKqC-4MbQEh9LolffwuN8yb2fJU52fT2MaBRtIorDqYzbStzFEoipgpU-TV8WN3T0viJvBOJ453yspckWTD9UBwX/s2881/skull%20labeled.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2542" data-original-width="2881" height="282" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3yrlrSLoP2amRvKmIQ3N2H5quxAsMrP7QbMh-m7SxNT5k28U7lK4gRxmY9JnhsHX7C06j3BN3jLA3xXoJPIqmjG_6wJ4VcCLDK87CfKqC-4MbQEh9LolffwuN8yb2fJU52fT2MaBRtIorDqYzbStzFEoipgpU-TV8WN3T0viJvBOJ453yspckWTD9UBwX/s320/skull%20labeled.png" width="320" /></a></span></div><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1973<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Gramps</span></u></b><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">About one
and a half years ago I lost my grandpa and it was devastating. I didn’t know
what to do because, at first, I didn’t even believe it was true until my auntie
confirmed it. I didn’t have to go to school and my gramps told me to never cry
when he dies, and I told myself I wouldn’t. In my culture we light fires when
somebody passes and cook and stuff. When everybody stepped away from the fire
to go get food I shed a couple of tears. I was thinking back on all the stuff
he used to do with us, just the little things like chasing me down the main
road with a pellet gun while I was in my boxers. Or the time when we were in
Yosemite and we broke into a tractor at nighttime and had to ditch security.
Honestly, I would say that I had a healing process, but I’m still hurt and
always will be until the day I die.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi1Vzv5H1xBFxX_HXw1RAl4RPlNQmUdac9PlYoG0yBjmivqjFNMfPp6LHjvRa0zJBrzUEUDily_SBprLSBXIuvTRprxUt7uvTJi_Yu_nZw9BKoZPPFfQDGK2QUV0hkDLIe9ewUDVxgHhYvg0bPswJC_7NVV4xIiVJQj-FOoEaobunBQR2qMX-cPISl5uyB/s589/Oct%203.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="451" data-original-width="589" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi1Vzv5H1xBFxX_HXw1RAl4RPlNQmUdac9PlYoG0yBjmivqjFNMfPp6LHjvRa0zJBrzUEUDily_SBprLSBXIuvTRprxUt7uvTJi_Yu_nZw9BKoZPPFfQDGK2QUV0hkDLIe9ewUDVxgHhYvg0bPswJC_7NVV4xIiVJQj-FOoEaobunBQR2qMX-cPISl5uyB/s320/Oct%203.png" width="320" /></a></span></div><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1974<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoTitle" style="text-align: justify;"><b><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Leaving
the House<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">If you
really knew me you would know I only really care about my girl and my sister <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I’ve slowly been falling apart for years now and use alcohol and weed to
cope with my emotions <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know it breaks my heart seeing and knowing my mom is a drug user<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know she lost custody of my sisters because of her addiction<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know my dad was never there <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know all the terrible things he did to me and my mom when he was around<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">If you
really knew me you’d know I raised my sisters and even my mom at times<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know me and my sisters were in and out of foster care a lot of our life<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I have really bad trust issues<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">If you
knew me you’d know I like making the ones I care about happy and if they aren’t
I feel like I’m doing something wrong<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">If you
knew me you’d know I always worried what was going to happen to me when I left
the house<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">If you
knew me you’d know all the wrong things I did <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I messed up <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I did something horrible<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I regret what I did<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I say I don’t care about a lot of things but I really care too much<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">If you
knew me you’d know I’m over protective over my sister and my girl<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I’m scared when people come into my life because I know eventually they’ll
leave, just like everyone else<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know my mom is suicidal and would blame me and my sister for it<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know she blames me for my dad being locked up<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I’ve always had people around me, but would still feel like I was alone<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I disappointed a lot of people, especially family<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I was raised around gang members and violence <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I tend to leave when I don’t like a situation<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I’d help everyone in the world before I help myself<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I’m a bad influence<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I change people<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I want to marry my girl and want to start a family with her <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I’m locked up right now <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know this isn’t the first time<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #1975<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Long
Love <o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If you knew me you would know I lost
a lot of people most recently. I lost my uncle. If you knew me you would know I
got too drunk to go to his memorial. I still regret it to this day. It was just
so sad. If you knew me you would know I found out from my aunt. If you knew me
you would know that I miss his presence; I miss joking with him and having nice
talks. If you knew me you would know we lived in the same apartments. Every
morning on my way to school he would say “Have a good day, serial killer.” If
you knew me you would know that he and I were super close, also that we
would go do fun things together. Before he passed we were supposed to go
shooting and disc golfing, but I didn’t wake up early enough to go with him and
my family that day.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhmV2_dFlReJiFZ-kUcn7RxfiYBEJkLaxDXoc5rCzjZDcA4ODl0r45aDeoBe-C9nTnRAyJM6KYqnoW8ArFnwA_9tnTT3mMhVRpUW5sumCgyZws_LadQSJC88uDU4eLZ7hKEooqXdvThbjiIQADRzoOcVz0CGU9NzP6Gi3XAxAjoymmg6nvsdM7EEVFqlqw/s3047/Hard%20Times%20Untitled.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2494" data-original-width="3047" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhmV2_dFlReJiFZ-kUcn7RxfiYBEJkLaxDXoc5rCzjZDcA4ODl0r45aDeoBe-C9nTnRAyJM6KYqnoW8ArFnwA_9tnTT3mMhVRpUW5sumCgyZws_LadQSJC88uDU4eLZ7hKEooqXdvThbjiIQADRzoOcVz0CGU9NzP6Gi3XAxAjoymmg6nvsdM7EEVFqlqw/s320/Hard%20Times%20Untitled.png" width="320" /></a></span></div><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1976<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Family is my Freedom<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">If you knew
me you’d know I wanna get out <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I wanna change, but it’s hard <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I wanna fight<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I wanna steal<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I wanna smoke<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I wanna drive <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I wanna do bad things, but because I love my family, I haven’t <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Changed
my mind. I don’t wanna be a bad kid, but I do it<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">To fit in
sometimes or to just be myself. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">If you knew
me you’d know I trust one person.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I would kill for my family <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">If you knew
me, you’d know I am close to falling off the deep end<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I don’t wanna be here. This place is hell.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">I have no
freedom and I can’t take sitting in my cell everyday not doing ****<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">If you knew
me, you’d know I wanna hang with my sister <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You’d
know I lost everything. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #1977<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Grandma<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">She was my great grandma.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">She was everything to me. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">She used to rock to bed every night.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">She used to pick me up and take me
shopping.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When I was going through rough
times, she would take me to her house.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">All I can remember now is she cared
so much and she wanted to see me in a healthy environment.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">She got dementia a couple of years
back and I was the only one she remembered.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I could only go visit her one time
in the old folks’ home in the mountains.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I remember she grabbed my hand and
said “I love you with all my heart”. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Then I had to go. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib3MaxnMYG3704TnXSnL2dEGt4hy1KxJnbeg3r6In45jm0gdcFY7aaAZ2wvz3Ed_XLr8kwJQVP-xvXTZmSvLFirVAvQuqdveS55F257aJF8M9D9Tbp-Ak8lYIMSqE7-YRjz6VCl4hZbVoymM1MCBXKpu4fqOyusovCLMDFiNILGPcORmQrQpzV5E8sAFHH/s2502/cobwebb.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2281" data-original-width="2502" height="292" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib3MaxnMYG3704TnXSnL2dEGt4hy1KxJnbeg3r6In45jm0gdcFY7aaAZ2wvz3Ed_XLr8kwJQVP-xvXTZmSvLFirVAvQuqdveS55F257aJF8M9D9Tbp-Ak8lYIMSqE7-YRjz6VCl4hZbVoymM1MCBXKpu4fqOyusovCLMDFiNILGPcORmQrQpzV5E8sAFHH/s320/cobwebb.png" width="320" /></a></span></div><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1978<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">The Death of my Brother<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"> I have multiple people I love who I
have lost, mainly due to guns and drug overdose. The one that affected me the
most is someone I thought of as my little brother.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"> I never really had a chance to
process this death because I got locked up a little after he passed. His death
had happened in my arms. I tried keeping him alive but it did not work. This
situation kills my heart. Why did it have to be him? Why was the trigger
pulled? Those are questions I will probably never get the answer too.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"> I’m trying to heal from this
situation. It’s hard though, even if I don’t show it, it hurts. I try my best
to hide my feelings. I’m now just trying to get out and do good to honor my
brother’s name.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"> I miss all the memories I had with
him. I miss smoking at my house. I miss my mom walking in and yelling at us for
drinking. I miss him and I being lectured by his mom about our actions. I miss
walking to his house, knocking on his door, and just walking in. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR0sN7oW2Kj4-LQyLNXfhAhvOyJ3gpWNe_eVN_MgW9m-y3T3vCESs3ao9a58kZvTKtD0VOsxp4kkkE254FsdQfHRmxS0w2QZGGfj2lGr73lNsoK8VwgVVtXmZdxBjI5KDU3nuRNVkYhxT4hAQ7h_96fXR0pNBTVYZHL8QWI0lKxynFObGgZwpIkchfAlEs/s2204/pumpkin.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1661" data-original-width="2204" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR0sN7oW2Kj4-LQyLNXfhAhvOyJ3gpWNe_eVN_MgW9m-y3T3vCESs3ao9a58kZvTKtD0VOsxp4kkkE254FsdQfHRmxS0w2QZGGfj2lGr73lNsoK8VwgVVtXmZdxBjI5KDU3nuRNVkYhxT4hAQ7h_96fXR0pNBTVYZHL8QWI0lKxynFObGgZwpIkchfAlEs/s320/pumpkin.png" width="320" /></a></span></div><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1979<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Of Course</span></u></b><b><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">I was
raised in the hood, where nobody shows you love, nobody really teaches you
right from wrong! I lived with my homies and my homies parents. They didn’t
give a **** what we did so at a young age we started playing with guns, selling
drugs and on top of that we started doing drugs too. Life just went on and on
from there: joining a gang, breaking into houses, robbing people, robbing
stores. I think people just look at it like we are bad kids but there’s another
side of the story. I never had a dad my whole life. I barley lived with my mom
a little over a year, so I had to get everything I had by my lonely. It was
hard living like this sometimes, but that’s how I was raised, so I’m used to
life being like this. I lost many homies to gang violence and every day I sit
back and think like, someday that’s going to be me on a white T. I got my mom
over here asking me why I do the things I do but she doesn’t understand what
happened to me being raised with no parents in a hood full of gangs, guns and
drugs. Of course I’m going to hop in the street, but that doesn’t stop me from
giving my mom respect. I love my mom and I’d do anything for her. But at the
end of the day I’m still who I am and I’m fine with that. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1980<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Rest of my Teenage Years<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Right
now, I have so much going on in my life. I don’t know when I’m getting out or
what’s going to happen when I get out. I wish I could just restart. I know I
messed up. I should have never come back here. And now I’m stuck with no way to
communicate with any of my friends or my boyfriend. They’re probably all
wondering what happen to me. And I wish I could just pick up my phone and tell
them what went down. I know I did this to myself and my actions have
consequences. But I just wish I could explain it to the people who have no idea
what happen. For all they know I could have died. I really hope I’m not in here
for much longer, because that’s that much longer my friends and some family are
going to be worried about me. When I do
get out I’m going to change and I’m never going to step foot back in this place.
This is not where I want to spend the rest of my teenage years. This is no
one’s fault but my own. My stupid
mistakes landed me a spot in Juvie and if I could re-do it I would have just
went to school and stayed out of trouble. Now I’m isolated from the outside
world and I’m going completely insane. I miss my old life and how everything
used to be. I hate not being able to
talk to anyone from the outside world. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #1981<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">To See
Them Again<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’ve lost loved ones before. I never
got the chance to mourn.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I want to mourn, but I just can’t.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I miss their smiles and everything
about them.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Just knowing that they’re gone and
never coming back feels unreal.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I miss laughing with them and
enjoying life. I miss them every day.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Every time they pop into my head
there’s a feeling I just can’t explain. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I just hope when I die I can see
them again.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggndyUxeMJ6l_clpPPgKLzztdRsPuTOY766psxCx-BWe8TpfAM-v4987Wh4hvUn6Al9chZz99KNYvNXA1P_VC4lIesHdJ4mPR7Sb7vF8XgI_kFevaCWw9eULsGX-me9OxFFXO67lsC5U1IkVbUKZsvryU9q4PIEYCjtEIP-4M19m_gOtb-PNXLuQsVISL8/s2212/tongue.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1564" data-original-width="2212" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggndyUxeMJ6l_clpPPgKLzztdRsPuTOY766psxCx-BWe8TpfAM-v4987Wh4hvUn6Al9chZz99KNYvNXA1P_VC4lIesHdJ4mPR7Sb7vF8XgI_kFevaCWw9eULsGX-me9OxFFXO67lsC5U1IkVbUKZsvryU9q4PIEYCjtEIP-4M19m_gOtb-PNXLuQsVISL8/s320/tongue.png" width="320" /></a></span></div><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1982<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Killing the Boredom<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Well
it’s mostly very boring in here, but the good thing about it is they feed you
three times a day so I’m gaining some weight that I wouldn’t have on the outs.
I’m really getting into reading too. Probably going start reading when I’m out
too. I’m really getting into books. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">You
know I miss everything: my bed, my mom, my video game, being able to stay up
late and man do I miss girls. I’m dreaming about them every night, it’s crazy.
I never use to dream outside of here, but now I almost dream every night.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">I
actually got a great plan for when I leave. I’m going to go live with my Aunty
in Ridgecrest for a while and just get away from here. I’m going to get a dirt
bike so I have something to do on the outs. The only reason I’m in here is
because I get bored every day, so I go out and do dumb ****. I’ll try to get
active in sports again too. That’s my plan, to stay out of trouble and get a
dirt bike and start riding.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #1983 <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Hide the Issue</span></u></b><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></u></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Locked up this way, I’m sleeping in
this cell. The system tryin’ to hold me down, but I’m gonna prevail. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In my own lane, I don’t got a girl
sending me mail. An all that pain I go through? I keep that to myself. Thug it
out alone. I ain’t askin’ for no help.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Brotha goin’ through it, deep down
that’s something I felt. Tryin’ to stuff my pockets with blues. I need a bigger
belt.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The bigger bank I got, the less
problems I have to feel. The day I tell my momma we made it is when I make a
million. We past those times livin’ off the food we was stealin’.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Can’t bring that cash to your grave,
you might as well blow it. Never thought bein’ locked up would turn me into a
poet.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I stress on my emotions but it’s
something I’m never showin’. I’ve experienced a lot of pain an struggle
but I keep on goin’. They see me smilin’ everyday. They always see me steady,
jokin’. Little do they know, deep down my heart’s been broken.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #1984<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A Day
In The Life<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I guess in a way you’re going to get
a view of “my mind” and what goes on “24-7”. For starters, I got music playing.
The song playing is “XO Tour Life” by Lil Uzi. The way it starts is, “Are
you alright? I’m alright…” And then it has that beat drop/change. It’s my
favorite part.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">While music is playing, I’m thinking
of my partner, my brothers and our memories. I started journaling, but it just
seemed like I couldn’t get it all out on paper at once. My “brothers” are made
up of my blood brother, my partner’s brother and my partner’s best friend. Now
you can probably get a clear understanding of why I say “my brothers”, even if
it’s generalized, you know?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In honesty, those memories always
remind me of my mother. She’s not someone I talk about much, but I think of her
always in different stories. I try to eject those thoughts into the “abyss”
compartment of my mind.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Funny how the mind works. Cause even
though I’m thinking of all those things, I can’t help but also wonder what’s
for lunch. And dinner, and snack. And what my next art piece is gonna be. It’s
whatever, though, man. I may be hungry, but I know I got priorities. My
classworks always on my mind. For me to catch up. Letters I need to write and
send out. Meetings I have today, this week, or ones that need to be made.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I am working hard to do what I have
to do to see my brother and partner again on “The Outs” and just do me. It’s a
lot on my mind, I know, but all for good reason. And though it’s chaotically
organized, I know what stands out most.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Though some may not relate or
understand, that’s alright. I work towards realistic things not fantasies. Weird
ending, to be honest. Oh well, that’s me. :)<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikNqHpnLJ-ZtO8qX9zUEpYV_9vWpkYfZ7yk7zF_NLprWaI8INWnr9quxLBbp102sZGCjSTkTisaG7eFgMEIwl60gQ77_MeRUbNbL7nPKtsx2oppjOPMM0Oe6xLQykKD3qdv3UKl-8tU6ryJk182N3QGwldlv5dOSfzEAhfttVaWw0kGmCDRX29UzMcdM0U/s347/W.E.%20Armed%20with%20a%20Pencil.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="170" data-original-width="347" height="157" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikNqHpnLJ-ZtO8qX9zUEpYV_9vWpkYfZ7yk7zF_NLprWaI8INWnr9quxLBbp102sZGCjSTkTisaG7eFgMEIwl60gQ77_MeRUbNbL7nPKtsx2oppjOPMM0Oe6xLQykKD3qdv3UKl-8tU6ryJk182N3QGwldlv5dOSfzEAhfttVaWw0kGmCDRX29UzMcdM0U/s320/W.E.%20Armed%20with%20a%20Pencil.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1985<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Seven Hour Drive<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">When I
was 15 I went on a Road Trip to Santa Cruz. We went on an old Roller Coaster, bought
an Airbnb, and we stayed for a couple nights. We headed over to San Jose and
went on a hike down to the water. I was starting to slip and fall because the
dirt was super loose. I kept on walking and got ahead of everyone and it was a
bad idea. I didn’t know until I slipped and fell; I was tumbling down this hill
for like 5 seconds. I blacked out when I hit my back on the ground. I came to
and was holding onto a branch that was in the ground. I heard it slowly cracking.
I started yelling for my brother to come save me because half my body was
hanging off the hill. There was nothing but rocks down there and it was about
20 ft or more, further down. If the branch broke there was nothing else for me
to grab on to. I thought I was dead. My brother ended up saving me. We kept
hiking down the hill to go swimming. Afterwards, we returned to Santa Cruz, the
Airbnb and then we went to Denny’s to eat. I don’t know if that was all worth
it for a seven hour drive.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #1986<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Brakes
Are Out<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The moment I will never forget is
when my aunt passed away. My cousin came walking up to my homeboy’s house. I
had just woken up. He was coming around the corner of the road and I saw
him crying. I had never seen him crying like that before.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">He told me that she passed, and when
he left I told my mom to either get out, or hold on. In the truck I went about
30 or 40 miles per hour straight up this hill. On a dirt road that, at the top,
turns into cement. Then it goes downhill, and when I got to the bottom of the
hill I almost hit a school bus, because my truck didn’t have good brakes. I
couldn’t slow down to hit a right turn and almost went off the road. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I got to my aunt’s house and
saw her on the ground. I said my goodbyes before the cops showed up. I
went to tell my dad. I think she passed away because of drugs. That is why I am
getting off of meth and heroin. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">RIP Aunty<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1987<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Stuck In The Truck<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"> A moment I’ll never forget is when me, my
dad, and my little cousin got stuck in my dad’s truck. It all started when my
mom picked up my dad earlier in the day. We were all going out to eat for the
night downtown at this pizza place. It had a clubhouse. We all ordered pizza
and were playing games, all having a good time. We got back and wanted to go
off road, so we did. We all got in the truck and headed to the field. It was a
rainy night so I knew it would be muddy. We started mud bogging and got stuck.
We were sitting there forever. Time went by and I saw some light’s behind us:
cops. They asked what we were doing. My dad talked to them and they let my dad
call one of his friends up. My dad told his friend what happened and he came to
help us out.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7MfLOM9tGOR82r61WWM-s98Z75EOQfkXVCiufKW6eT5xvQ7iVM3cd2aRimnxvtsDVaLAcohJOmmSi1Z_0d-YHZ91JEnvJcPQGQWzI-H6t2ke0LqsoUklgz2LUZaCld_otLDanryIh0IdAVnDwlNUPmMOCrrp-wvWL7FlB13vMQoOuWJV-S4SdP79vQqGp/s3061/Juan%20hands%20art.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3061" data-original-width="2123" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7MfLOM9tGOR82r61WWM-s98Z75EOQfkXVCiufKW6eT5xvQ7iVM3cd2aRimnxvtsDVaLAcohJOmmSi1Z_0d-YHZ91JEnvJcPQGQWzI-H6t2ke0LqsoUklgz2LUZaCld_otLDanryIh0IdAVnDwlNUPmMOCrrp-wvWL7FlB13vMQoOuWJV-S4SdP79vQqGp/s320/Juan%20hands%20art.png" width="222" /></a></span></div><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #1988<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Loyal
Love<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I lost someone I loved to suicide.
Her last words were, “I love you.” I sat on the floor covered in her blood. I
loved her and I will always have her in my heart. I’m still trying to heal and
get close to other people. I walked into my house and saw her take her own
life. She was told to kill herself by a group of popular kids who thought they
were better than everyone else. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I love her and she’ll remain in my
heart forever. I have a photo of our first date at a park staring at the stars.
My words for her are, “You're in a better place now and I’ll be up there in a
while to see you.” I will follow the dreams we had in remembrance of her. I’ll
show the world my talents and prove that she didn’t die alone. R.I.P.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1989<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><b><u><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">Simpler Times<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;">I have
lost a friend. The thing I miss most of my friend is that we used to go to eat out
every Friday. Another memory I have of him is when we went to the park to play.
Simpler times back then.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--></span><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face=""Arial",sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span></p><p></p>chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-66772246794099764452023-09-27T16:12:00.002-07:002023-09-27T16:16:56.571-07:00<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">Entry #1953</span></div><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><b><u>To Do Right</u></b><br />If you knew me, you would know I was a wild and troubled kid.<br />You would know that my dad never cared.<br />You would know I was in the system my whole life.</span><div><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">You would know my mom was everything to me.</span><div><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">If you knew me, you would know I love my sisters.<br />You would know I care.</span><div><div><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">If you knew me, you would know I am disloyal in relationships. <br />You would know I count on only myself. <br />If you knew me, you would know my sisters are in CPS. <br />You would know my mom is trying to do better. <br />If you knew me, you would know all of this happened because I was selfish and did whatever I wanted. <br />You would know I am not good with money. <br />If you knew me, you would know I support my mom through her bad times. <br />You would know I live with my grandma and she’s always there for me. <br />You would know I did lots of stuff to hurt my family but I am trying to do right. <br />If you knew me, you would know I have a bad temper. <br />If you knew me, you would know I am locked up in juvenile hall right now. <br /><br />Entry #1954<br /><u><b>With or Without Help </b></u><br />If you really knew me, you would know that I’m not what people say about me. <br />You’d know that I’m kind, loving, and I care so much about others that I almost forget that I need to help myself as well. <br />You’d know I’m completely broken and I need someone here for me every day or I feel I’m helpless. <br />You’d know I try so hard every day to keep fighting, but I’m struggling, bad. <br />If you knew me, you’d know that I didn’t have the luxury of a mom and dad to cry to everyday. You’d know that my loss of parents is the reason I am the way I am. <br />If you really knew me, you’d know I don’t want to be like my parents, <br />You’d know I want to prove the world wrong and be the best version of myself with or without help. <br />If you really knew me, you’d know that I don’t want friends, I want someone to hold me and reassure me that it’s going to be okay, and tell me they love me, just for once.<br />If you truly knew me, you’d know I’m still figuring out why I exist, and why God put me here. What’s the point of staying alive if there’s nothing to keep fighting for? <br />You’d know I have a soft spot for everything and everyone. <br />When I get out of the hall, everything is going to be different because I don’t have anything to go to when I get out, there wouldn’t be a reason for me to come back. <br />If you knew me, you’d know that I’ve changed.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1L03YSdchVyM2GFgUF5CxSQpg2bqra_2No9-ICztcYxccsKP0VL9t1_9j7rkRFFB6efW8FTW8w2eSzYezQzccqg3k88sHpkiF3sl3gGA16QD6QiJkKkZMBInyw3H8b2H85nNOVqwDuhPx1scxc7ps6kKju0UDZGnKsB3nnL6gmDyxVJtnmMUSMmYmqhX7/s690/locked%20up%20art.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="690" height="209" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1L03YSdchVyM2GFgUF5CxSQpg2bqra_2No9-ICztcYxccsKP0VL9t1_9j7rkRFFB6efW8FTW8w2eSzYezQzccqg3k88sHpkiF3sl3gGA16QD6QiJkKkZMBInyw3H8b2H85nNOVqwDuhPx1scxc7ps6kKju0UDZGnKsB3nnL6gmDyxVJtnmMUSMmYmqhX7/s320/locked%20up%20art.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /> <br /><br />Entry #1955<br /><b><u>Scarred </u></b><br />If you really knew me you would know I’ve been through more **** then most grown adults, you would know I’m traumatized from what happened that day, <br />If you really knew me you would know I think about him and my other dead homies more than anything, <br />If you really knew me you’d know I’m mentally messed up and scarred from what I’ve been through, <br />You’d know I’ve been abused since a young age, <br />If you knew me you’d know that’s not really the case anymore. <br />If you really knew me you’d know I’ve had to walk in on my dad shooting up or twisting the pipe, <br />You’d know I broke the cycle of drug addiction in my family, <br />If you really knew me you would know my mom kicked me out at the age of fourteen, <br />You’d know I was living in the streets for months on end, <br />If you really knew me you’d know I put my pain in the songs that I create, <br />You’d know I feel like dying every day, <br />You’d know I try my hardest to not express my emotion, <br />If you really knew me you would know I turned to the streets at the same age I was kicked out, <br />You’d know I want to change that old mentality, <br />If you really knew me you would know I want to start a family when I get out, <br />You’d know I’m changing for my life, the one I love, and my best friend. <br /><br />Entry #1956<br /><b><u>The Road I Went Down </u></b><br />If you really knew me, you would know family comes first. <br />If you really knew me, you would know I have been stabbed in the back by the people I love the most. <br />If you really knew me, you would know my parents haven’t been there for me and my brothers - for a time I raised my brothers. <br />You’d know I had to take care of the people that should have been caring for me. <br />You’d know I have been in and out of juvie for two years. <br />You’d know I have been angry all my life and most of my mistakes have come from this place. <br />If you really knew me, you would know the last time I was in love, she took her life. <br />If you really knew me, you would know I stay in my own lane, focused on myself and what I can achieve. <br />You’d know I truly hope my brothers don’t go down the road I went down. <br />If you really knew me, you would know I have a plan to be looked at as a whole different person and I will fulfill it. <br /><br />Entry #1957<br /><b><u>Raising Myself </u></b><br />If you really knew me, you would know my life was s****, <br />you would know I never had a dad, <br />you would know I lost friends and family to gang violence, <br />you would know I’m easy triggered, <br />you would know I was in CPS for 11 years, <br />you would know I was 13, living at a park, robbing people and robbing stores to eat and have clothes on my back, <br />If you really knew me, you would know I live the life I live right now because I raised myself and I turned to the streets and hopped in a gang so I could feel like I have people that loved me,</span><br /></div><div><span style="font-family: trebuchet;">If you really knew me, you would know I don’t talk to people about what I go through or talk to people about the pain I go through, <br />If you really knew me, you would know I was 9 years old smoking weed, <br />If you really knew me, you would know I only lived with my real mom for a year out of my 16 years alive, <br />you would know I wasn’t able to live with her because she was in and out of jail/prison, <br />If you really knew me, you would know I lost my closest homie to a shootout in the hood. <br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMusL836F7NJCTQ3mRDlrP-vlAbS0qzmZfkxQtCFLQRrZlI6CbXQ7hgd6qEZ0zps37a-b8wpUTucq6Wz2s_DBMF-mH-Eek9yYTiXRq2WD4ecihKWMXdIDqu_ls_Q3eCHCSULdGD5NBHAQj3Znog4N-WRyk4K6WaBy5m0pu7kToUXwKfC4HBIbWcVdXyIzm/s507/LOGO%20II%20Writing%20Exchange%20(write%20or%20wrong).png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="249" data-original-width="507" height="157" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMusL836F7NJCTQ3mRDlrP-vlAbS0qzmZfkxQtCFLQRrZlI6CbXQ7hgd6qEZ0zps37a-b8wpUTucq6Wz2s_DBMF-mH-Eek9yYTiXRq2WD4ecihKWMXdIDqu_ls_Q3eCHCSULdGD5NBHAQj3Znog4N-WRyk4K6WaBy5m0pu7kToUXwKfC4HBIbWcVdXyIzm/s320/LOGO%20II%20Writing%20Exchange%20(write%20or%20wrong).png" width="320" /></a></div></span></div><div><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Entry #1958<br /><b><u>Avoiding Disease </u></b><br />One thing that I’ve noticed about jail is that a lot of people, even the adults, ask a lot of questions to which the answers seem pretty obvious. How are you? Not great. Why aren’t you showering? I don’t want a venereal disease. Why aren’t you eating? It looks like my puppies had an accident on the tray. Why don’t you sleep at night? I have to sleep during the day in order to block out the never-ending and rarely ceasing screech of brain rotted street meat harpies. Duh! <br /><br />Jail is like a terrible stew of everything that I hate most-swear words, drug users, dairy products, weak attempts to find hidden meaning in low-tier YA novels about the struggles of adolescence, living examples of the American obesity epidemic, and authority figures that sound more like middle schoolers that just discovered the F-word. <br /><br />On the subject of low-tier YA novels, I’ve read two during my stay here that were set in boarding school. The funny thing about realistic fiction set in boarding schools, is that in the reviews on the back cover, there’s almost ALWAYS a reference to A Catcher in the Rye. Apparently, every single brooding teenaged narrator that goes to boarding school is the next Holden Caulfield. This manages to apply even if the protagonist is female, a gay Korean immigrant, or a secret spy for the USSR. <br /><br />Entry #1959<br /><u><b>Still Here </b></u><br />If you really knew me, you would know I’m a brat just for the hell of it. <br />You would know, I’m a balls to the wall or not at all kind of girl. <br />You would know I’ve been in love with drugs & dangerous men since I lost my dad to the system…but not because they make me happy, but because they make me feel alive. <br />If you really knew me, you would think I lost myself along the way, but in reality, I found myself. The funny thing about sinking way down to the bottom is that it makes you stronger. <br />And if you really knew me, you would know I wouldn’t go back and change a thing because losing everything I thought I loved and made me happy, made me appreciate and love myself more. At the end of every day, I know I haven’t lost everything because I’m still here. <br /><br />Entry #1960<br /><u><b>Distracting Myself to Heal </b></u><br />If you knew me you would know I’ve been through some ****. <br />If you knew me you’d know I’ve seen my dad hit my mom and drag my sister by her hair <br />You’d know I felt powerless because I couldn’t do anything. <br />If you knew me you’d know my homie passed away due to gun violence. <br />You’d know I was always drunk or high to avoid my pain and problems. You’d know I cope with things by distracting myself until I heal from it. <br />If you knew me you’d know that as a kid I would worry about my mom’s financial problems. You’d know my dad left when I was 11. <br />You’d know I’m a hard person to love. <br />You’d know I have trust and abandonment issues. <br />If you knew me you’d know I’d die or spend the rest of my life behind bars for my little brother. You’d know I had to grow up and do things on my own. <br />If you knew me you’d know I have a smile on my face even when I am going through the toughest times.<br />If you knew me you’d know I’ll stay solid to anyone that keeps it a hundred with me.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy861QuDU55MzFtjwTRifdlaVil9_JT29qNecaoWvL8d6Xwn05-Jk0equhoF-zBWhsm9Cc3Rn51QtHD_Kes46Vdm_EJgt14Ex9WUDm7KcBrd5LaaaW3w57MmU0bwyN_XQjqyDZ6vSTmd63gcHORkm_fSfxpBkRm1TrMM7xhi4Kr6Zo0SCHnQVoQB5DQRGM/s347/W.E.%20Armed%20with%20a%20Pencil.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="170" data-original-width="347" height="157" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy861QuDU55MzFtjwTRifdlaVil9_JT29qNecaoWvL8d6Xwn05-Jk0equhoF-zBWhsm9Cc3Rn51QtHD_Kes46Vdm_EJgt14Ex9WUDm7KcBrd5LaaaW3w57MmU0bwyN_XQjqyDZ6vSTmd63gcHORkm_fSfxpBkRm1TrMM7xhi4Kr6Zo0SCHnQVoQB5DQRGM/s320/W.E.%20Armed%20with%20a%20Pencil.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /> <br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Entry #1961<br /><u><b>Why I Did What I Did </b></u><br />If you knew me, you would know I want to get out. <br />you would know that I changed. <br />you would know I am misunderstood. <br />you would understand why I did what I did. <br />If you knew me, you would know the system is doing me wrong. <br /><br />Entry #1962<br /><b><u>Bullets and Glass </u></b><br />If you knew me you would know that I was raised by a single mom. You’d know my dad beat on my mom when I was a little kid and then he tried to come back into my life. <br />You would know I was raised in the slums. <br />You’d know no my mom tried her all to put food on the table. <br />If you really knew me you would know how my older cousins would beat me up when I was younger. <br />I remember going to the park as a youngin’, seeing bullets on the floor and broken glass near my feet. I was 12 taking guns and drugs to school. I hit 14 and got locked up for a violent crime. <br />If you knew me you would know at 15 I was hanging outside my house with my older cousins and one of them was shot in front of me. <br /><br />Entry #1963<br /><b><u>Sacrifices </u></b><br />If you knew me, you would know I love music and of all forms of art. <br />If you knew me, you would know I raised myself, my siblings, and even my own mother. <br />You’d know I hate any form of negativity, physical or not. <br />If you knew me, you would know I suffer a kind of pain I can never explain in words. <br />If you knew me, you would know my “father” is a soul I resent and never call by status or by name. <br />If you knew me, you would know the scars my body holds and carries is from choosing to protect my familia and take things I didn’t understand. <br />If you knew me, you would know I chose to sacrifice “my childhood” and innocence for my siblings and mama, so they could continue living without negativity or harm.<br />If you knew me, you would know I didn’t do those things for me, I did it for them because they deserve more than the world.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGlEJ1FZSjGPM4NWQrJDlBdeTrEaE9sGwGJjTbdFCqc6qplF5YGvy0EbcONTdEBoCZt9muBSKMR1h9G6O8_L2BaqD_YRXmmnD88nywr-h0GI04onpGroMC3iyWmt5xryIjOFv3QKEBIvWCPpE8xJBe5d4_aLDoTKGbvCpq7M4oxPXw9ag2YpEphnMkUBCA/s944/%233d.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="625" data-original-width="944" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGlEJ1FZSjGPM4NWQrJDlBdeTrEaE9sGwGJjTbdFCqc6qplF5YGvy0EbcONTdEBoCZt9muBSKMR1h9G6O8_L2BaqD_YRXmmnD88nywr-h0GI04onpGroMC3iyWmt5xryIjOFv3QKEBIvWCPpE8xJBe5d4_aLDoTKGbvCpq7M4oxPXw9ag2YpEphnMkUBCA/s320/%233d.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /> <br /><br />Entry #1964<br /><b><u>A Restart </u></b><br />If you knew me, you would know I’m shy. <br />You’d know I love my niece. <br />You’d know that I am a people pleaser. <br />If you knew me, you would know I’m smart. <br />You would know I’m obsessed with mascara/eyelashes. <br />You would know sometimes I react out of anger. <br />If you knew me, you would know I’m selfish. <br />You would know I’m very impatient. <br />You would know my family and friends are the most important thing to me in life. <br />If you really knew me you would know I rarely think before I do. <br />You would know I’m nice. <br />You would know I love basketball. <br />If you knew me, you would know I want to restart and do better when I get out. <br /><br />Entry #1965<br /><b><u>By My Side </u></b><br />When I get out things will be different. This time I don’t want my family always talking to me over the phone, putting my girlfriend in situations where she has to wait to see me. Everyone says things will be different though. The reason I’m saying this is because if I keep doing things like stealing cars and fighting people all the time, it’s going to come to a point in time where I’ll lose a lot of close people who I love most in this world. My girlfriend, brother, sister, dad…I put them all through so much when I get locked up. My girlfriend I love very much, but it’s going to come to a point where she’s going to find a new person. Me getting locked up all the time and hoping she doesn’t find someone new is a lot to ask. Nobody wants to be with someone in an over the phone relationship. I think God is really going to help me change my ways and be the person my dad and family wants me to be. They don’t want me to be in an out of jail/prison my whole life. They want me to have a career for myself that they didn’t have. My family has all been in an out of the system from juveniles until they hit prison. They’ve all been through this lifestyle and want me to do better. I plan on doing myself when I’m out by getting a job, hopefully I can still get a license, and occupying my time any way possible. I won’t be kicking it with any of the homies anymore. I have to start going a different route for what’s better for me. God this time I ask you to be by my side and help me change my ways. <br /><br />Entry #1966<br /><b><u>Family First </u></b><br />If you really knew me you would know that I don’t like to be controlled by cops. <br />you would know that I like to ride motorbikes. <br />you would know that family is really important to me and I would do anything for them. I want to be there for them and help them with their needs and be there with them through their lives till I die. Family is the best thing in my life and I won’t ever do them wrong. <br />If you really knew me you would know my dream job is to be a firefighter. <br />If you really knew me you would know I want to help kids out when I get older because no one was there to for me. I just want to make kids happy and to get them the things I wanted. <br />If you really knew me you would know my family and my dog come before anything else. <br /><br />Entry #1967<br /><b><u>Rainy Days <br /></u></b>If you really knew me you would know my family is my number one priority. <br />If you really knew me you would know if I had the grades I would still be playing ball right now. If you really knew me you would know I do stupid stuff when it has to be done. <br />You would know I love the rainy days. <br />You would know I use to live in the mountains. <br />You would know I got a lot of love for dogs and puppies or mainly any type of animal. <br />If you really knew me you would know I don’t like fake people. <br />You would know I’m not scared to lose people and be alone if there’s a reason for it. <br />If you really knew me you would know I don’t condone people being fake. <br />You would know I am a loyal person and that I do not tolerate disrespect. <br />You would know that I put my family over anything and every one no matter who it is. <br />If you really knew me you would know I don’t like when people judge before they know what they are talking about.<br /> <br />Entry #1968<br /><b><u>Two Years of Change </u></b><br />If you really knew me, you would know, a lot of **** has happened to me. <br />You would know, I don’t let things get to me. <br />If you really knew me, you would know, I started running from my problems at the age of 11 and never really stopped. <br />You would know, I was involved with gangs due to my dad’s family and where we were from. <br />If you really knew me, you would know, I love to play football, baseball, basketball, and to ride skateboards and bikes. <br />You would know, I like to have fun with my family and go camping and swimming <br />If you really knew me, you would know, I’m trying to change my life from how it was in 2021. <br />You would know, I’m hoping to graduate high school and go to college. <br /><br />Entry #1969<br /><b><u>Trying </u></b><br />If you knew me, you could say I ******* up in life. You would know I had sex with a woman and had a baby with her. <br />You would say that I’m messed up in the head. <br />If you knew me, you would say that I’m a piece of ****. <br />You would know that I have hurt some people like friends and family. <br />If you thought you knew me, you would say that I’m a good person but if you really knew me you would know how fake I am. <br />If you knew me, you could say that I’m a thief. <br />If you knew me, you would know I’m trying to change. <br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNkkt-cLAbDL_SqnZuBtCsYx2CGe8w-Hh179mQGqrTBIHnjzbSNba5ejuo5dtQwGyaA_kUIeyGNYrqd5gP9J8YoCygwnTRHfdQdEwazT4Eocp52Jk0Z1y6iJfiEqIfqj9T6A3wc1rXkdK8iR9FO77hB2wrg0yk0dQd7halO0rOXP2wkpLHxomD9oJF9Mqb/s744/Let%20it%20flow.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="601" data-original-width="744" height="258" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNkkt-cLAbDL_SqnZuBtCsYx2CGe8w-Hh179mQGqrTBIHnjzbSNba5ejuo5dtQwGyaA_kUIeyGNYrqd5gP9J8YoCygwnTRHfdQdEwazT4Eocp52Jk0Z1y6iJfiEqIfqj9T6A3wc1rXkdK8iR9FO77hB2wrg0yk0dQd7halO0rOXP2wkpLHxomD9oJF9Mqb/s320/Let%20it%20flow.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><br /> <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div></div></div></div>chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-8322831044963846362021-04-01T08:13:00.020-07:002022-02-11T11:53:18.203-08:00<p><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1923</span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-106b4b56-7fff-eec5-fc89-8a53a1de8957"><p style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;"><b><u>Light in the Darkness</u></b><br /></span><span style="font-family: times;"><span> </span>Before I ever got incarcerated I saw my dad get locked up and sent to
prison, not once, but twice. I remember feeling alone and just wanting him back
home. I remember feeling angry at the cops for my dad’s mistakes. After that I
started kicking it on the streets and a lot of the homies got locked up. One
that really hurt was when my brother got arrested and they were talking about
sending him upstate. I remember seeing his son cry when they put the handcuffs
on him and took him away. <br /></span><span style="font-family: times;"><span> </span>My incarceration has affected a couple of people.
First off, my girl and my son. I'm in here and I can't provide for them the way
I would be able to on the outs. Second, my parents. I know it really hurts my
mom seeing me locked up and visiting over a screen instead of in person. I know
my dad needs me. His mom died not that long ago and since then I've been his
main support. Last but not least my brother. Just a couple of days after he got
out I got locked up and I know how he feels. <br /></span><span style="font-family: times;"><span> </span>One thing that has really been on my mind is how much
my son needs me to change and how much he needs me to succeed. I know I need to
break this cycle of getting locked up and sent away. I need to be the father
that I never had. My son is my light when it’s dark, my motivation to do better.
Am I going to be able to be there when my son takes his first step? To be
completely honest I'm scared to get out and mess up.<br /></span><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1924</span></p><p style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><u><b><span style="font-family: times;">I Remember What I Want To Forget</span></b></u></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember when I watched my Mom struggling when I was young.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember the look on my brother’s face when we saw our mom getting beat up at such a young age.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember the look on my mom’s face the day she saw her thirteen-year-old with a gun </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember every funeral I</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> have attended and the tears being shed.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember close friends laying in caskets.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember the look on my family’s face when “undercovers” pulled out guns on my mom and baby sisters because of me.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember the last words my grandma spoke to me before she passed.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember the faces of my siblings who cry for me when I’m not there.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember the purple and blue face of my mom when she was almost beaten to death.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember the way my heart dropped when my mom told us she had cancer.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember dreaming for better days, but it just keeps getting worse.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember the first time I was in here I said I was never coming back. I’ve been back six times since.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember feeling like I’m letting everyone down but now I’m starting to realize I’ve been let down too.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember but I wish I could forget.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1925</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>Incarceration</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I have known a lot of people that have been incarcerated, but the person that affected me the most was my dad. Dad went to prison when I was about five-years old and I didn’t see him again until I was about thirteen years old. It wasn’t a time I really enjoyed. I didn’t like seeing my father incarcerated but for the first few years, I didn’t know where he was and at the time I didn’t really understand. After a while I just knew he was away. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I was first arrested when I was maybe fifteen years old. Up until then I was doing good. I was in sports and going to school. I was an all-star on my ball teams and my grades started to go up. I ended up getting kicked out of my aunt’s house and moved in with my dad. I started a new school, I was in a new house. and I started messing up. I ended up getting locked up. I never would’ve thought that would happen. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">My incarceration is affecting my son because he needs his father around. Also, it’s affecting my mother because she needs her son around. Most of all it’s affecting my son’s mother because she is stressing out dealing with an eleven-month-old all by herself; he’s really a handful. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I am not the same person as I was five years ago because I’ve grown more into a man than I ever thought was possible. I am a great father, son, spouse and a better person in general, so yes, I’ve changed in many ways. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiAjV2YxvH-guFaYsj4e9PPZkKQ-2aFWu1NOvzoTlLDr4-FdbC4PZV3ZD69RqRCBOZ-R2pjt737cZv0OWHendzEubVsd2SU4v6fjs0S3OM7aj4WOtzgGU_-61xO0wB5rhvjDzoGRRzW8u8/s869/WE+Brad.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="644" data-original-width="869" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiAjV2YxvH-guFaYsj4e9PPZkKQ-2aFWu1NOvzoTlLDr4-FdbC4PZV3ZD69RqRCBOZ-R2pjt737cZv0OWHendzEubVsd2SU4v6fjs0S3OM7aj4WOtzgGU_-61xO0wB5rhvjDzoGRRzW8u8/w400-h296/WE+Brad.png" width="400" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: times;"><br /> </span><p></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1926</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>Escaping Bad Habits</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> Before I was locked up my parents would tell me "Oh your cousins got locked up," or “Your uncles got arrested.” It went from cousins or uncles and then to my dad. I never liked seeing close ones being behind bars, especially my dad because my mom would suffer and cry and be lonely. I knew I would end up getting locked up some day if I kept going the path I was going on. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> My incarceration has affected others in the same way it used to affect me when I would hear loved ones were locked. I would not stop thinking about them, missing them. I couldn't move on with my life because they were a part of it. Sometimes I sit in my cell and wonder, what if incarceration runs in my family? </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> I’m 17 years old and I’ve been locked up for 6 months and yet I still don’t feel any different on how I was 5 years ago. I still am and have been around the things I was 5 years ago or I'm still doing the things I was doing 5 years ago. Sometimes I feel like there's no escape because those were things I was born into and grew up on and I see no way out. In other words, I would say I got used to it and my lifestyle became a bad habit. I’m still not done. I will keep working on it. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1927</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>Getting Out</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember living in small country town</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember seeing my mom get beat up everyday</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember being so small, even when I tried to do something about it, I couldn’t</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember we didn’t have any money for food</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">stealing for those things</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">starting to get into trouble</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">getting expelled from school in 5th grade</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember having nowhere to stay</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember staying at friends’ houses for almost 3 weeks</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember when my grandma went to look for me</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">when I moved in with her</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">being young and kicking it with the older heads in my hood</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">when I got my first gun</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember seeing my uncle get stabbed and my dad get shot</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember seeing my house get shot up </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">seeing my love ones in and out from the pen</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">when I first got arrested for a firearm</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember getting out and coming back in</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember when I thought I was going to get out </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember getting rebooked and getting an extra 40 days</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1928</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>Protection</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> Before I was ever locked up, every man in my family had been incarcerated from juvie to prison yards. It hurt to see the people I love and grew up with all my life, being taken away by a system that doesn't give a damn about us. We still stay strong and make sure we don't forget about the ones we love. We’ve all been through it a lot of times. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> Still there’s homies that say they got your back, but end up switching up in the other ear, females saying they ride or die then leave you on the side. I knew I was going to get caught up in the game someday sooner or later. That's how life goes. I can say I'm thankful for not getting caught up for the worst thing I ever did. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> Being behind bars affects me, but mostly affects my kids. I remember 5 years ago: I was 13, skipping school, trying to get food on my table for my family. Coming home with my backpack half full, but my mother knew I wasn’t at school. My father always told me never to leave the house without protection, so when I did go to school on my side was a weapon. My 5th grade teacher told me I’ll be dead or in jail, but only God knows where I'll end up. Will I make it to see 21? That's something only time can tell. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> I'm forever street cause I lost some of my people in the field when I was only 5 and I witnessed my uncle being killed. You probably don't feel me, but I’m just keeping it real. Traumatized from bullets flying. I got wounds that probably can't be healed. I just want to give my son a better life. Show him what’s right, keep him from the wrong. I’ve been locked up seven months. I don’t know when I’m coming home. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1929</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>Aging Seven Years</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> In five years, I have changed a lot. I used to be a really good kid. Some would even call me the teacher’s pet. After I went through a lot of tragic events including abuse, fires and breakups. I really changed. I no longer was trying to get A's on all my tests or trying to be the best student. With everything I went through it got harder and harder to be a so-called “perfect kid.” Having negative influences everywhere, from peers to where I live, to my parents, it became easier for me to do what they were doing. At the time I believed it was the only way. Like it was just part of growing up. Where I’m from that is partially the truth. The other piece of negative change was my anger at the people I was trying to be perfect for. Once I didn’t care for them then I was free to do what everyone else around me was doing. With that, my whole mindset switched and I went to the extreme on the other side. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> I started to drink and smoke, something I said I would never do but I did it anyways. When that wasn't enough. I started doing pills and after that, things got really bad. I saw life in a whole different way. I became like a completely different person. Since I was trying to do the most and be the best when I was doing good, I guess I did the same thing when I was doing bad. I would always drink the most or smoke the most out of anyone around me. That would always make me so far gone that I would do anything and I got into a lot of trouble because of it. I always felt this need to show everyone up and for some reason I still feel that need. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> The way I write this sounds like I just got worse over 5 years, but there have been good changes too. In the last year or so, I matured a lot. I feel like I have aged like 7 years, going through a lot of stress played a big part in it. I saw the importance in being respectful. All my relationships got stronger, especially the relationship I have with my sister. She and I used to fight all the time. Now I’m there for her and I try to help her anyway I can. Drugs used to be a big joke to me around the time I started using. I used to make jokes about drugs all day. Now I understand that its really serious and I see now how stupid it was for me to be doing what I did. For the last good change, I became a lot more caring. Sometimes I care too much because at times I seem to care about others more than myself. Still, overall I became a better person in my eyes.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnGI_Xbi8MU0UIi2CxDFEcI7MexeFR3Oem73v86239z17xqvQwlA-CTWLTPVDesrTL6yCnc2uzwe6y7gfWrvyqhzGlFTk4imLcBUM8AhaugDbjMxFlP09Ke__dk0H72xnI6WIdFfpb5Wce/s526/WE+Armed.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="222" data-original-width="526" height="169" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnGI_Xbi8MU0UIi2CxDFEcI7MexeFR3Oem73v86239z17xqvQwlA-CTWLTPVDesrTL6yCnc2uzwe6y7gfWrvyqhzGlFTk4imLcBUM8AhaugDbjMxFlP09Ke__dk0H72xnI6WIdFfpb5Wce/w400-h169/WE+Armed.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span><p></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1930</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>Broken Windows</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember I got rebooked for fighting.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember when my dad left me when I was six years old.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember when my mom caught me with a gun in my room.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember selling drugs to put food on the table.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember sleeping on the floor, hungry, because my family was struggling.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember I got my family kicked out of our apartment because I broke windows.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember I had to stop worrying about others because they didn’t care about me.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember I wanted to give up so many times but my family kept me going.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember others wanted to put me down but I still kept myself up.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember I was down broke but I had to start making money for myself and my family.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember I woke up with police and helicopters over my house looking for my dad.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember when I got shot at and almost lost my life.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember when I quit sports to join a gang.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember my best friend left me because I wasn’t doing good.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember I had to start carrying a gun because people wanted to take my life.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1931</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>TIRED </b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I'm tired of certain staff testing me </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I'm tired of being in this facility, </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I'm tired of being in my cell, </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I'm tired of being away from my son and my girl</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I'm tired of being played by the system</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I'm tired of these youth thinking their tough</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I'm tired of being away from friends and family</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I'm tired of being respectful to staff when they aren't to me</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I'm tired of people thinking bad of me because of my mistakes that got me here</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I’m ready for change</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I’m ready to go home to my son and my girl</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I’m ready to prove everyone wrong and do the right thing when I get out</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I’m ready to improve my life</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I’m ready to just do me</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I’m ready to finish this program</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I’m ready to go home and be a father</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1932</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>Wondering About A Cell</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> <span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Before I was in and out of juvenile hall, my uncles were in and out of prison. One of my uncles I never met in my life and he did twenty years in the federal state penitentiary. Knowing that he is serving time, I wondered all the time what he was doing and how it felt to be in a small cell for twenty years. Being a kid at the time, I never imagined myself being here sitting in juvenile hall typing this writing exchange and being in and out of juvenile hall as a young man. My being in and out of juvenile hall is affecting my younger siblings and all my younger family. It hurts to know my younger brother is coming in and out of this place just like my uncle and me. I just wish I could go back in time and change my ways and do the opposite of my uncles.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1933</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>Any Last Prayers </b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Some seeds aren’t given</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Any last prayers</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I dream of a prison</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Can’t wake up</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I’m still there!</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Look to the sky</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">So many questions of why</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">And if they were answered</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Could I continue my life?</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Head down below</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Because the cold</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Has found my soul</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Led down a road</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Toward ashes</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Or a hole</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Those dearly beloved</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">And plenty who’ve cared</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Will hear up</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">And love me, with,</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Any last prayers</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1934</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>Visiting Dad</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> Before I was ever locked up, my dad was incarcerated. At first, it never looked bad, until my dad started telling me more about prison as I got older. My dad was locked up the majority of my life; I would visit him every so often, until he went to the maximum-security facility. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> I never thought I would be arrested because of my experience seeing my dad in prison. Being in here is affecting a lot of people: my mom, my siblings, and my baby momma especially. They miss me because I do everything with them. My relationships with them are strong, but being in here feels like they are slowly fading away. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicGRMExOf09Dt4C6QZkZAm-NWxMYAXAmz1a2iRxPX50EalL56xFNXFV1bX4Br8BCcrQDR-cYxq3SxzxduSOep0TCsF0BC8ohT6Py2tDkeppVTfLjhQDq-TxrF6zSnojNCIHAtgOxLn0_gJ/s348/Sept+2015+Redos.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="261" data-original-width="348" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicGRMExOf09Dt4C6QZkZAm-NWxMYAXAmz1a2iRxPX50EalL56xFNXFV1bX4Br8BCcrQDR-cYxq3SxzxduSOep0TCsF0BC8ohT6Py2tDkeppVTfLjhQDq-TxrF6zSnojNCIHAtgOxLn0_gJ/w400-h300/Sept+2015+Redos.png" width="400" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span><p></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1935</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>My Brother’s Words</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember when I woke up in the hospital with bullets in my body.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember the look in my family’s eyes when with rifles aimed at me and my whole family.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember hearing my mom’s heart dropped when they called to say that her son was shot.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember feeling like everyone left me when I was alone doing my time.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember when I had to go to a couple of funerals and tears started dripping.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember being broke.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember my mom caught me with a gun in my room.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember when my brother got rebooked for a fight.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember the last words my brother told me before he passed away.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember when I broke the rules in school for the first time.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1936</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>Standing Up for What’s Right</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Five years ago, I was a lot different than the person I am now. Back then I went to school most days and did my best there. I wouldn't say I was a good kid, but I wasn’t such a bad kid either. I would get into fights here and there, but most the time I was sticking up for someone getting bullied. I remember a time when I witnessed a special ed kid getting bullied because he was different. I felt bad and eventually I ran up and sucker punched the other kid. I have a cousin that has special needs and the kid getting bullied reminded me of him in a way. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1937</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>Tamed or Free</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">first time locked up </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">trying not to get ****** up </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">sit-in here in my cell doing my time </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">‘tryin to do good and get through it fine </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I’ve been going through a lot </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">trying to change the way I talk </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">every time I wake up, I'm just trying to behave </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I'm tryin to do good and change my ways </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">being locked up sucks </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">feeling like I’m stuck </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">doing the same thing everyday </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">don't think it will change </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">got to have hope for my mom, grandma, sister and ‘lil bro </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">missing ‘em like crazy </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I just hope I get out and don't do the same thing </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I hate being locked up and tamed</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1938</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>Good Things Will Happen</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I knew a few friends that were on probation and got locked up before. After doing their time I remember hanging out with them. After just a year of being locked up I could already see the change in them. Unfortunately, it was a bad change and made them give up in their lives. They felt trapped in the system, that they would keep getting locked up. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Five years ago, I had never been locked up. I was a kid who's only worries were games, school, and living life as a 12-year-old. My change was not such a good change; I got into trouble too often and always searched for problems even if it didn't feel like I was looking for it. I thought I improved in those years. Old habits and bad ideas kept coming and it seems I haven't made positive change in all of it. Being locked up has had a negative effect on me, each day I try to make something of it, trying to find a learning experience. Good things will happen to me, but I am not sure if it will be in here or when I get out.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1939</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>Spoiling My Family</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I am happy when I am with my family, </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I am happy when I’m with my baby momma. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I am happy that I am a father. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I am happy when I have a sense of freedom. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">When I can sleep in my bed, and eat good food. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I am happy when I can be with my little family and show them love. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">When I can spoil my baby momma and my kid. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I am happy when they are happy.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I am happy when I get out and go home. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I am happy when life gives me blessings. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">When God blesses me with all the good things he gives me. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I am happy when life treats me right. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I am happy when I am with my family.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHFJ-4ESn2j7uH6ljnammf7I4Lm8IFRvAyq66FPA-rW86kUY7qFPkcJ3bUTnnp9iubzOyzm__WHeQzDYyHDgGJzVtQxtElY132cBthSw4u3OtK0yGQ2e1st7eny8z2jVhX68qbQtENc4F8/s345/Untitled.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="171" data-original-width="345" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHFJ-4ESn2j7uH6ljnammf7I4Lm8IFRvAyq66FPA-rW86kUY7qFPkcJ3bUTnnp9iubzOyzm__WHeQzDYyHDgGJzVtQxtElY132cBthSw4u3OtK0yGQ2e1st7eny8z2jVhX68qbQtENc4F8/w400-h199/Untitled.png" width="400" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span><p></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1940</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>Together Again</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Before I was locked up, I saw my pops and one of my older brothers get locked up multiple times. Seeing my pops getting locked up was tough, but eventually, I got used to him being gone. It still hurts sometimes, but it’s good. When my brother got locked up it made my stomach hurt because he is like a father figure to me. Seeing my mother hurt, I told myself I would never leave her like my pops and brother did. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">When I got locked up it broke my mother’s heart because I’m the baby of ten kids. My incarceration hurt my family. It really sucks knowing I am not out there for them. When I get out I’m not coming back because my pops and brother will be home and we will all be together and will not leave each other again. My pops has two years left and my brother is fighting a life sentence. It really sucks, but at least I know my family will be together sometime, maybe in two years, maybe ten, but eventually we will be together. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Being in here helped me realize what I have on the outs and helped me see who my real friends are and see who is really down for me. There is so much going on, on the outside right now. I really wish I was out to help out. When I talk to my mom, she tells me what’s going down and I can’t stand it because there’s nothing I can do to help while I’m in here. So, when I get out I’m staying out so I can help my mom. She needs me out there with her.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1941</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>LLG</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">It’s long live Gilly ‘til the day I die. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember being at your funeral when everyone cried </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember talking to your brother like damn he died, </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I know you made it to heaven so I always pray, </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I pray for your momma and brother that they pull through, </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I just want y'all to know that I love y'all too, </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I never thought that I would end up like you, </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Running around hitting licks and ditching school, </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Hitting mokes ‘til my lungs went black, drinking ‘til my liver goes bad, </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">If my sister was there that would have never happened to you, </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Waiting on those train tracks for it to happen to you, </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I can't believe you did that to yourself, </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">What you did to your mom, damn that's your mama, </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Why did you put her through that drama? </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">It’s RIP Gilly it won’t ever change</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1942</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><b><u>Nothing To Worry About</u></b></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">My life story is complicated and due to my mom and her dad’s relationship things aren’t so good. Well I guess you could say it’s alright but not perfect because he spent most of his life in prison. Things you do will eventually catch up to you in the future and I’m guessing it caught up to him. I would have to say I met my grandpa at about six years old and I always wondered what all his tattoos meant until I got older and I found out that every one of them meant a certain thing. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">As I grew older I began to pick up on bad habits which eventually led to bad decisions that got me kicked out of regular school. I had to transfer districts and lost many friends and I always told myself that I would stop. But I never did. It just got worse and worse to the point where I finally got locked up for some serious charges and my life, since then, changed. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">When you get locked up for a long time, people start to forget about you. Honestly, that can really drive a guy crazy. I’ve always wondered how it would be if I ever got locked up and now that I think of it I wish that had never come across my mind because look at the situation I’m in now. It really, really sucks. Growing up I always told myself I would never get locked up because I was a good boy, a good boy who always followed the rules and never gave people a hard time. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">All I can really do now is move forward and hope for the best in the future and hopefully, I have a good start when I am out of custody. I do know what I want to do with my life. I do not want to be a failure. I want nothing but success and good things to happen to me. I can take this as a lesson learned and do only positive things that will benefit me in the future. I can tell my kids, if I have any, that this is the life you do not want to live. A life with nothing but things you have to worry about.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1943</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>Providing for My Daughter</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> I wish that I could go back to when I was little. I would never have grown up how I did. I started down the wrong path once upon a time. Now I know that I should have sat back and gone with the flow. I turned into a knucklehead. I look back at all I have been through and see I have changed a lot. Since I was thirteen, I ran the streets. I remember when I didn’t have anywhere to sleep. I remember when I didn’t have any warmth. I remember a whole lot I have been through that a thirteen-year-old should not have been through.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> Since I had time to sit back and relax because I am locked up, I’ve had time to slow down and think about everything. I have to get my life together and become a man. I need to provide for my daughter and be a better father. I have to prove to myself that I am not a deadbeat. I remember when life was so much easier. I remember when waking up was a good feeling. Now I hate to wake up because then my dreams start to fade away all over again. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> If you really knew me, you would know I am responsible for my actions and you would know I want to be a good person. I don’t want to continue down the wrong road. I want to make sure that I make my mother proud and to make my dead uncle happy as he watches over me.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihPhyphenhyphenCw4d5w9RYed880dGY-8rRv19aBcKf24UXdngm1rsjKIkqZRjzdAOWtmmg3vBFK7fD455XDJRMCQoW1HgAMERZOu1_7YrB3Ctz8cuyp0AwRwJx1C8lfcvllQgBtda1pIxzaDGpDS8k/s630/CA+Exchange.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="630" data-original-width="556" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihPhyphenhyphenCw4d5w9RYed880dGY-8rRv19aBcKf24UXdngm1rsjKIkqZRjzdAOWtmmg3vBFK7fD455XDJRMCQoW1HgAMERZOu1_7YrB3Ctz8cuyp0AwRwJx1C8lfcvllQgBtda1pIxzaDGpDS8k/w353-h400/CA+Exchange.png" width="353" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span><p></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1944</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>Not Right</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> Before I was ever locked up in juvenile hall, my uncle was locked up in jail. He was serving a couple months. I remember when I heard he was locked up. I was a sad little kid. I thought that he was going to get stabbed in jail because he was an active gang member. Also, he would do a lot of crazy things. I wish I was with him when he got arrested, so I could’ve been on his side then maybe the cops wouldn’t have arrested him. It was depressing when I saw him in jail. We were told he was in the hospital because he had been jumped and beaten in jail. We didn’t even know what had happened.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> As a little kid I never thought I was ever going to get locked up because I did not do anything as bad as I have done now. I always had a good mindset and never worried about the cops. But time changes and stuff happened that made me run into the law and eventually I got locked up. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> My incarceration is not affecting others in a good way. My mom is always worried about me and my grandma and grandpa are sad to see me locked up. My friends and family are always getting stressed about me getting locked. Honestly, I changed in the last five years because I wouldn’t do the same things right now. I wish I could’ve changed my life around a long time ago. Still, the life I live isn’t right.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1945</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>Jail Phone</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember when I got beat up.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember being broke and seeing my mom stressing.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember robbing somebody.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember my brother providing for me.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember finding out my sister was deceased.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember my brother getting locked up.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember going to juvenile hall for the first time.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember fighting in juvenile hall.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember smoking marijuana for the first time.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember witnessing a shooting by the park.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember going to and from California and Nevada.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember running away from my house.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember hitting a police officer.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember talking to my brother over the jail phone.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1946</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>No One’s There</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember being locked up when my mom was locked up.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember my uncles were also incarcerated.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember going to see them and it hurt.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I didn’t think I was going to get arrested.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Getting locked up is affecting my parents.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">They’re upset and disappointed with the choices I made.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I changed from the past because I’m getting older and started thinking differently and making different choices.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">My parents were locked up and I had no one to tell.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">My grandma only speaks Spanish, and I don’t speak any Spanish.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">My mom and dad were not always there for me.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I didn’t meet my mom until I was six.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I always wondered about my mom, who she was, where she was, and how she was doing.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">She went in and out of jail.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">My dad would just send me off to my grandmas and aunts.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">No one was really there for me, so I started running away. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">That’s what put me in here.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1947</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>Karma</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Before I ever got locked-up I knew certain people that had been incarcerated, a lot of those people were my friends. One of my closest friends got arrested when I was in the 8th grade. He served a year in juvenile hall. I would write him to make sure he’s good and to keep him updated on what’s going on, on the outs. I also had another younger friend that got arrested; he was in and out from a young age. I hated to see my close friends arrested and not being able to go to their houses. We all lived by each other and we would be together all day long. I hated that I couldn’t call them. The only way to keep in touch was through letters and even the letters would take a week to get back and forth. At that time, I didn’t think I would be incarcerated even when I was messing up. I thought I was being smart, but in the end, karma caught up to me. Now that I’m incarcerated, it’s affecting my family because they miss me and can’t see me every day. It’s affecting my little brothers because I’m their role model. I should be a better example for them.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1948</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>Mom’s Lessons</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> Throughout my childhood, I’ve seen and known some people who have been locked up, are locked up, and will get locked up. I saw these people serving time, but I never really thought much of it because I wasn’t worried about them. As a little kid I would tell the grown-ups that I wanted to be a firefighter because they are heroes and no one likes cops. People thought that was funny. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> While growing up though I never thought I would get locked up. Getting locked up has affected my family because they miss me, and it hurts for them to see me in here. I’ve even lost a couple friends and feel like people see me in a different way because I get locked up. I wasn’t always like this though: getting into fights, doing drugs, stealing things. I used to be a good kid getting alright grades like B’s and C’s and staying out of trouble. When I turned ten and started hanging out with the wrong people, I slowly changed. I started messing up. Eventually, I ended up locked up for crimes I did like car theft and recently taking a phone from a lady. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> My mom always taught me to be good. She would give me long lessons about not listening to my bad friends. She said, “You will get locked up, killed, or end up in a hospital.” I felt like I started giving up because I didn’t have papers to live in the United States. I thought I would never be able to have a good job anyways, so I didn’t care what I did or what happened to me. I thought I was going to get deported at some point. Now I’m learning that even if I don’t have papers or have a good record, I can still be someone, if I change my life now.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdWK5AzS3eU7fJ59sjfcrzuj3Ojsd3MX6eVDDuYqmjP_5bDey5T6cLR4kUKawzNxqFLuIAB_wGFpxF6ZpaNOIpuKHOBRfoaPHdx6eks2C5kKfINnpEE9ktl_NAL4Y5KSwtKo_7BUeIL_vS/s519/Write+or+wrong+logo.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="260" data-original-width="519" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdWK5AzS3eU7fJ59sjfcrzuj3Ojsd3MX6eVDDuYqmjP_5bDey5T6cLR4kUKawzNxqFLuIAB_wGFpxF6ZpaNOIpuKHOBRfoaPHdx6eks2C5kKfINnpEE9ktl_NAL4Y5KSwtKo_7BUeIL_vS/w400-h200/Write+or+wrong+logo.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span><p></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1949</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>Dad’s Shoes</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I know a lot of people that have been incarcerated. Growing up I saw my dad get locked up; it hurt me to see my dad in that situation. Now I see how it feels to be in his shoes. It hurts being away from my family for so long. Now that I’m older I have been in the streets a lot more. It’s a normal thing seeing my friends and family get locked up. When I was a little kid, I had big dreams to make something of my life, but now I am locked up and it’s not a good feeling to be in a cell. I know my family misses me. When I’m on the phone with them, they tell me what’s going on in their lives. My little sister tells me to be good so that I can get out. So, when I get out, I’m going to try to do better for me and my family. When I was a little kid the only role models around me were doing bad things like robbing people. I grew up thinking it was okay, but now that I’ve gotten older, I see that it’s not. From now on I’m going to make better choices so that I won’t get arrested and disappoint my family again. Hopefully, one day I will be able to be happy and be with my family.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1950</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>We Don’t Know</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> <span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>In my life, I was once a person that treated others badly. I guess I was thinking that it was cool and a fun thing to do. The people that I surrounded myself with thought that way as well. One day at school, I was hanging out with my friends and there was a new kid at school. He passed by confused on where his classes were. He stopped by us and asked, “Do you know where this class is?’’ I replied, “No I don’t. Go help yourself, dumbass.’’ The new kid did not reply but his facial expression was sad. The next day he was wearing some cheap shoes, I yelled out, “Look at that bum!” I started to laugh but his face still expressed a sad look. Later I apologized to the new kid and invited him to hangout, making him feel comfortable. We don’t know what other people go through in their life.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1951</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><u><b>Mountains</b></u></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember I was at home and my brother told me, “Let’s take a trip to the mountains.” I was getting things ready so we could be there the whole day. We went to the store to buy snacks and food and charcoal so we could barbecue. We started driving and it was a long drive. I was just listening to music all the way there. Once we got there we started to walk around and explore in the snow, taking pictures of the mountains. We built a snowman, my brother, his baby’s momma, and me. It was a big snowman. Once it was built some random guy running by, ran into it and destroyed it. Next, we walked towards the car to eat. We set up the stuff to eat on a table and started eating some snacks: chips, soda drinks and barbecue. We headed home. That was my trip to the snow and my first time to the mountains. Once I got home I told my mom about my trip and she was happy because I’m not really a happy person but really loved that day.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">Entry #1952</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"><b><u>Cops, Crashes, and Injuries</u></b></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember when I was riding my bike and I slipped in water and fell and cut my tongue open, it hurt.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember when I was in a wagon and my sister pulled me over a speed bump so hard I fell out and hit my head on a speed bump.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember the concussion. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember selling drugs at my old school.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember when I played baseball and some kid hit me in my foot with the bat giving me a hairline fracture.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember playing outside and dodging cops.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember looking for any way to get some money.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember trying not to get caught.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember the car crash.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;">I remember running from cops.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: times;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></p></span>chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-19747633293229987802021-02-15T16:48:00.007-08:002021-02-16T09:41:56.225-08:00My Real Name Poems <br /><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span>Entry #1909<br /></span></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span><u><b>Soaring <br /></b></u></span></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span>My real name is trying hard to change the life I’ve lived<br /></span></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span>Yesterday my name was epic failure, nothing but repeated mistakes <br /></span></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span>When I'm incarcerated my name is just another number in the system <br /></span></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span>During visiting my name is son, they just want to see me do better<br /></span></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span>When I'm going through it my name is silent moon in the sky<br /></span></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span>When my door pops my name is loyal, trying to succeed<br /></span></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span>When I am released my name will be free eagle soaring through the sky<br /></span></span></span><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span>Tomorrow my name will be hurdling over life’s obstacles<br /></span></span></span><span><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;">When I get home, my name will be daddy.</span></span></div><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Entry #1910<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><u><b>Indulging in Peace</b></u><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am incarcerated, my name is scars, pain from my past moving me far<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>During visiting, my name is alone, violence can keep disturbed family at home<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am released my name will be deep in the streets, indulged in heat<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>To my novia, my name is secure, life becomes pure<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>To bystanders, my name is death, they speak protest on their breath<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I need a rush, my name is Modella and white lines, at the time it seemed alright <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>My friends know me as magnet, trouble seems to follow<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I breath my last words, my name will be peace</span></span></span></span></div><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXIx1_5IeKAWSUNm4_z1CtW6ahPBdUV2jXSrxAOfvwvMcN03Npa98hwpc7rVWMjLA0cFQppVH-Dj9_f6OTZwdYeWsuix6ayVHF2ZA8gP2rWSEu58IOSR5bypMJMu4b7S46ugU_Ve2oAr1a/s640/WE+Bubbles.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="466" data-original-width="640" height="291" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXIx1_5IeKAWSUNm4_z1CtW6ahPBdUV2jXSrxAOfvwvMcN03Npa98hwpc7rVWMjLA0cFQppVH-Dj9_f6OTZwdYeWsuix6ayVHF2ZA8gP2rWSEu58IOSR5bypMJMu4b7S46ugU_Ve2oAr1a/w400-h291/WE+Bubbles.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><span><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Entry #1911<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><b><u>Broken Hearts<br /></u></b></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from the slums, where they show no love. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from some cold streets, where there is nobody to put your trust in.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from a town, where everybody’s goal is to boost up the murder rate. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from the east side of town, where gangs are out of control.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from where we politic, but not in a lawful manner.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from where loyalty is hard to find, so if you find some cherish it thoroughly. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from where nobody is safe, so we keep protection.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from hopeless days, but we still prayed for better ones. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from a messed-up environment, where you see bums on every block fiending.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from where we all have high goals, but not everybody accomplishes them.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from where today your friend can be your “dawg”, and tomorrow hell just be a snake.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from a broken place, where we all have broken hearts. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from where hearts are turned black, due to false promises. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from where we smile every day, but deep inside we are breaking down. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from where mostly every family has someone locked up, and they won’t be home soon.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from where we hate the law, because they are locking down our loved ones. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from where loved ones are resting in graves, and all we want to say is a proper goodbye. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from where broken hearts try to heal other broken hearts, but just end up more broken. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from an incarcerated childhood, but we still lived it to the fullest.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from where the water is neck deep, so we keep our head up from drowning. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from where we are trying to be a dad, even though we never had one.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from where we just want to give up, but we keep going because we got priorities. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from where our loved ones mean the world, so for them we will put it all on the line.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I am from an ugly place, but somehow, we still find it beautiful.</span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Entry #1912<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><u><b>Inside Brick Walls</b></u><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>In my cell, my name is regretting yesterday <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Today my name is gaining knowledge inside brick walls <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>While incarcerated, I become careful what you say, they are listening <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When my door pops, I become my brain opening up shop <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am released, I am relieved and never coming back, again <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>At home I am known as struggling to find happiness <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>I will become stronger than my past self</span></span></span></span></div><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDhghkvlup4rvT-dN_L7Li_QViTiFqzSTN6qoJYHaVcAiirv-76enBjlwgT3JYfsCN6PXZn4fue84rjQmJMmLUbekMyfyfA_-8TNAxfX89IXp-10TgeljJzp19vwG4Pw89dKfcRRSDaiG0/s640/WE+Rose.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="466" data-original-width="640" height="291" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDhghkvlup4rvT-dN_L7Li_QViTiFqzSTN6qoJYHaVcAiirv-76enBjlwgT3JYfsCN6PXZn4fue84rjQmJMmLUbekMyfyfA_-8TNAxfX89IXp-10TgeljJzp19vwG4Pw89dKfcRRSDaiG0/w400-h291/WE+Rose.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><span><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Entry #1913<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><b><u>Free Again</u></b><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am released my name will be Free.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Yesterday my name was Real.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Today my name is Calm, Calm because soon my name will be free again.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>During my visits my name is Ashamed, Ashamed I have to talk to my loved ones on the other side of this wall.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>My mother thinks my name is Innocent but we all know that’s a lie.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>On Saturdays my name is Soaring.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>On Mondays my name is Anxious, Anxious because I want this to be over with already.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Right now, my name is Finished, finished because I don’t want to think about this anymore.</span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Entry #1914<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><b><u>Rolling Through</u></b> <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am a father, my name will be stroller, rolling through the park<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>On New Year's Eve, my name was nightmare, needing staff assistance<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Today during volleyball, my name became sharp attack on a spike<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>On my release date, I will be power of overcoming mistakes<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>My name in the hall is cowered for trying the right thing<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Every day when my cell door pops, my name is listening to instructions I am required to follow<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>To my family, I am lost, failing our last name<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>In the future, I will be known as role model, setting an example for my kids</span></span></span></span></div><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Entry #1915<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><b><u>Too Many Times to Count</u></b><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>If you really knew me, would know that I like riding my bike and playing my Xbox with my friends online. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>You would know that I have been locked up too many times to count. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>You would know that I have been on probation for a while and I’m trying to get off probation when I get out. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>If you really knew me, you would know that I used to like getting high and drunk off my ass to where I blackout. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>If you really knew me, you would know that I am known in the streets</span></span></span></span></div><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJtU7WLpYvSgQ3BxrBt17d2Y1ujUQRSUvLQ0ezA92b1GhwbyssEG79ajKLvLsLRoULf71m-7m_6odiMkX2m-JIFgl4AqyUTuLfzfb7jWElQL89Pgqof-UAEFu9iN7ys7HOPwNzuAzJOK3I/s627/Fresno.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="627" data-original-width="481" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJtU7WLpYvSgQ3BxrBt17d2Y1ujUQRSUvLQ0ezA92b1GhwbyssEG79ajKLvLsLRoULf71m-7m_6odiMkX2m-JIFgl4AqyUTuLfzfb7jWElQL89Pgqof-UAEFu9iN7ys7HOPwNzuAzJOK3I/w306-h400/Fresno.jpg" width="306" /></a></div><br /><span><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Entry #1916<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><b><u>I Will Be Home</u></b><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>My name is astonishing.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Yesterday my name was impressive.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am racing people know me as 200 mph.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am incarcerated my name is Bird.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am a father, my name will be papa.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am released, I will be home.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When my door pops my name is son.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>During visiting my name is mijo.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Today my name will be Buffalo. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>On Saturday my name will be Tom and Jerry.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>On Monday my name will be 6:00 am.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>My girlfriend think’s my name is gorilla crow.</span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Entry #1917<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><b><u>Letting the Dark Side Be</u></b><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>My real name is heard wandering around with a different perception of the world<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am released my name will be impressing the best and showing up<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am a father, my name will be water to the tree, supporter to the life of my beautiful dream<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am incarcerated my name is the one they don't want free, hidden from society<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Today my name is pursing to be the best side of me and letting the dark side be</span></span></span></span></div><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwb_2Lnmcz_zJOJBY6MGvJ_ARG9FeZd5SLqW-thH5v4wZ7aNqbpTc__cZ4lfjNTh0vlFpbqX5RGqgnAoIxDYnBBK6yQWrXCgrhRShw_XqOudJyDqdRYwa6-5HT5zCC0JOGDGob6Iosqnnf/s626/needs+rotated.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="626" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwb_2Lnmcz_zJOJBY6MGvJ_ARG9FeZd5SLqW-thH5v4wZ7aNqbpTc__cZ4lfjNTh0vlFpbqX5RGqgnAoIxDYnBBK6yQWrXCgrhRShw_XqOudJyDqdRYwa6-5HT5zCC0JOGDGob6Iosqnnf/w400-h306/needs+rotated.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><span><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Entry #1918<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><b><u>Forbidden</u></b><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>My real name is violence. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Yesterday my name was disturbed. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am incarcerated, my name is fire. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am biking people know me as impressive.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am a father, my name will be real.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am released my name is forbidden.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When my door pops my name becomes together.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>During visiting, my name is cherishing.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Today my name is process.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>On Saturdays my name is exhausted. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>On Monday morning my name becomes accepted.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>My brother thinks my name is required.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>My name on the streets is banned.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>My new name is crazy. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>The next day my name will become persuading.</span></span></span></span></div><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Entry #1919<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><b><u>Stuck</u></b><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Today my name is extremely bored, white brick walls and nothing to do<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>While incarcerated, my name is sad, pissed off at what I did<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When my door pops, my name becomes free from that little box I’m stuck in<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am released, I will be happy departing from a little dirty room<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Yesterday my name was stressed because court has me not knowing what’s coming nex</span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif">t</span></span></span></div><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnhBFg0XOINNdiPunjZHERk1yDhTliiPoYOSnNtpForRfAF8QgYamosgJyVOocuvOv8PxhNc_25fvT6GpUKTPX8J11ujSgJQlj1bN0_Xr8eDn03kUCXH-wollI1pTKl4dny3Uy09HrhUlJ/s815/truck.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="344" data-original-width="815" height="169" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnhBFg0XOINNdiPunjZHERk1yDhTliiPoYOSnNtpForRfAF8QgYamosgJyVOocuvOv8PxhNc_25fvT6GpUKTPX8J11ujSgJQlj1bN0_Xr8eDn03kUCXH-wollI1pTKl4dny3Uy09HrhUlJ/w400-h169/truck.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><br /></span></span></span></div><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span style="background-color: black; color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Entry #1920<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><u><b>Pulling Through</b></u><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Today my name is waiting for a court date<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When my door pops, my name becomes getting out of this 8X8 cell<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Currently my name is tired of being away from my family and friends<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I’m incarcerated, my name is I hope he’ll pull through</span></span></span></span></div><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Entry #1921<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><u><b>Monday Morning</b></u><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>My real name is violence <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Yesterday my name was together <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am incarcerated my name is assault <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am doing a hobby, people know me as navigating<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am a father, my name will be secure <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am released, my name is identified <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When my door pops, my name becomes cherishing <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>During visiting my name is required <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Today my name is comparing <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>On Saturdays my name is accepted <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>On Monday morning my name becomes exhausted <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>My girlfriend thinks my name is impressive and depressive</span></span></span></span></div><div style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw7g7aQ23dtocosaoODFKVipMRIeqRhkPNCXfpjRFtfgdb8xyELF9D-dkY7oVVbZjyzfKwyRXmkn-zGq4wAL7jmlCSHEXyJx7J2Ygqzl6Ny6MbvPfwv56YWh1SQTYGIMtKFep8xmOIDgqe/s801/peanuts.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="801" data-original-width="405" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw7g7aQ23dtocosaoODFKVipMRIeqRhkPNCXfpjRFtfgdb8xyELF9D-dkY7oVVbZjyzfKwyRXmkn-zGq4wAL7jmlCSHEXyJx7J2Ygqzl6Ny6MbvPfwv56YWh1SQTYGIMtKFep8xmOIDgqe/w324-h640/peanuts.jpg" width="324" /></a></div><br /><span><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Entry #1922<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><u><b>Arriving</b></u><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>My real name is fire.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Yesterday my name was hitting.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am incarcerated, my name is assault. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am doing a hobby, people know me as shameless. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am a father, my name will be together. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When I am released my name will be protest.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>When my door pops my name becomes violence. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>During visiting my name is terrible. <br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>Today my name is impressive.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>On Saturdays my name is vomiting.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>On Monday morning my name becomes arrival.<br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span>My girlfriend, mother, brother, boss, think my name is real.</span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><br /></span></span><span face="Helvetica, sans-serif"><span><br /></span></span></span></span></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></p>chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-47222916244941826542019-12-19T11:30:00.002-08:002019-12-20T11:47:57.318-08:00<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Entry #1885</span><br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Open
Bottle<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Today I woke up in Juvi again. I'm so tired. It’s been almost 9
months. I went to sleep at around 1am last night. I couldn't stop thinking
about how things could have been if I didn't open that bottle. I had just
gotten home around 6pm from kicking it with my girl and some homies. I don't
usually go home that early but it was my older cousin's birthday and he wanted
me to be at the party so I went. That's where I messed up. I knew I couldn't
handle myself around alcohol, but I still went around it and drank too much. I
got really messed up and I ended up getting my dad’s gun. I robbed someone for
their car, assaulted 3 officers, and broke a cop’s windshield. Just like today
I woke up with barely any sleep and wondering how things could have been if I
didn't open that bottle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1886<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">When
Will He Walk The Walk?<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">One morning I awoke to see my dad on the couch again, just when I
thought today would be different. But I know why he is on the couch. He was
drunk or high just like all the other times. He’s the only one that I cared about.
I loved my mom, but I’m a daddy’s boy. After all the beatings my mom got and
all pain and sorrow we went through trying to get him better, he didn’t want
it. One day it got so bad my mom left with me and we never looked back. My mom
and I lived on the streets with no place of our own and then my grandparents
took me in after seeing the life I was having to live. I was ten years old.
Later on, my dad moved with his mom and my grandma. We started to see each
other more, but he didn’t stop drinking, doing drugs, or hurting his family. He
had two more kids: my brother and sister from a different mom. After that he
seemed happy for a bit, but a couple years later he went back to drinking and
doing drugs and back to hurting his family. I wasn’t surprised.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQru6HSFpfrmcHc_pgkdwbtEcaqzGcy0I6nMhBzIiPGJUnI47LAyQWonU1w1fXEZV5ww3D4bTHMbcgpo-zYg0CVSTl3YJzpFNf21Ha-z9WNuTd6C_pPTNvU5zDRdc1xcY2Vr_Jee8bjDK0/s1600/cougar.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="568" data-original-width="534" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQru6HSFpfrmcHc_pgkdwbtEcaqzGcy0I6nMhBzIiPGJUnI47LAyQWonU1w1fXEZV5ww3D4bTHMbcgpo-zYg0CVSTl3YJzpFNf21Ha-z9WNuTd6C_pPTNvU5zDRdc1xcY2Vr_Jee8bjDK0/s320/cougar.png" width="300" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1887<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Good
Morning, not Mourning<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I awoke that
morning I didn’t expect much. I was going to relax all day and maybe go get
some food with a girl I was talking to. The night before was bad: I got in a
fight with my mom over the phone. She was trying to blame me for the mistakes
she’s made, and the way her life turned out. That was not my burden to bare, so
I chose to forget it and drink and smoke. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was living at my
friends at the moment, and he was out of town, it was just me all alone. After
I was drinking and smoking for a while, I ran out of weed so I went to look in
the garage where I kept my extra. In there I found a fire cracker, I didn’t
think much about it, just that I wanted to see what it would look like
exploding. I go into his back yard, I light it, in almost an instant the fuse
is flying to the bomb, so I panic and throw it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Boom! Everything was
white and then I look down and my left hand’s pinky and ring finger are
completely mangled. The skin is blown back to the point where I can see bone.
There is a fat crack where my palm is split open, and blood is rushing out. To
top it off my hand is dangling flimsy and I can’t move it. My arm is broken
straight in half, both bones. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In a person’s life
there are always two choices, do something, or don’t. You can get up in the
morning or not, you can be successful or not, and you can sit there in shock
while you bleed out, or you can do something about it. I ran inside while my
arms dangling by my side bleeding, pulling out my phone dialing 911. I’m
looking through the kitchen for some kind of bandage or something, I grab a
bowl and fill it with ice water. While my hand is in the water I can start to
feel the pain, its horrid every inch of my arm is killing me. While I was
sitting there in pain, it felt like hours, still to this day I don’t know how
long I was sitting there. I was awake the entire time, sitting there trying not
to pass out, the bowl of water was almost over flowing from the blood. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eventually the
ambulance got there, they put my arm in a splint, and carried me on the gurney
to the ambulance. Bomb squad, police, fire trucks, ambulance, the whole 9
yards. While I was in the back of the ambulance, they put me on morphine, which
made me sick so I asked for something else. They put me on oxycodone after
that, which helped the pain a little. We started driving and in the back of the
ambulance the guy was sitting next to me and asked if I wanted to keep my
clothes or cut them off. I wanted them so I sat up and took off my clothes,
then the guy asked if I wanted a picture of my hand, I said, “Hell yeah.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I arrived to
Enloe Hospital they were all blown away, and didn’t know what to do. They sent
me to a helicopter where we flew to UC Davis. When I arrived to the next
hospital there were around 30 doctors all waiting for me, I remember all their
faces, they looked surprised, and unsure what to do. There was screaming kids
around me, and a lot of doctors all around, it pissed me off so bad. Then some
doctors come in and they tell me they have to pull my arm into place, so they
come around me and hold me down while pulling my arm. I’m struggling fighting
and trying to get released so I can punch the doctor. After I calm down they
say they need to fly me to San Francisco. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They load me onto
the helicopter and we take off. Well this is the part of the story that’s hard
to believe. It was a sunset, I was low on energy, and then everything froze.
Everything went quiet, and then my little brother who died years ago was
sitting right next to me, and I just looked at him and told him, “I love you.”
He looked at me and told me, “I know, I know.” Then we just sat there for
hours, and hours…what felt like the longest of times was only 5 seconds. Then
boom, I wake up in the hospital. They told me they had to amputate my two
fingers, and that I flat lined for 5 seconds. I was lucky to be alive. The
months I spent at the hospital I would dream about that moment, and break down
crying. I would get angry at anyone who would try to talk to me. I was wishing
I was dead. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To this day I still
have flash backs of that day. It was not a good one, but it was an experience.
The one thing that I am grateful for is getting to say good bye to my little
brother. I never had the chance to before, but that night I did. I am grateful
for being alive today, and instead of mourning over my brother I’m going to do
good for him and be the best I can be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>#1888<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Come
Home<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I remember when our house was so cold. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I was stuck figuring out why you weren’t really home. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Always asking why I felt so alone. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I was out in the streets at twelve feeling so grown. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Remember all those nights when they would go by slow. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Praying to God that you would just come home. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Remember doing those drugs that made me feel so bold. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Sometimes I felt like I couldn’t even breathe, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">but I forgive you for the times you chose him over me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Thinking about those times that you would only hurt me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I remember running away at the age of thirteen. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">It has been three years and I haven’t been seen. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I would stay in the streets until I saw the sun rise. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I would walk around feeling real high. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">But I never really noticed because time would fly by. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I tried to stay away from all those so called guys. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">At the end of the day I forgive you for all those nights. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">That you weren’t always home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1889<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Lighting
It Up<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If you really knew me, you would know that I am terrified of
spiders and people judging me before they get to know me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">you would know that I am proud of who I am.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">you would know that the hardest thing I have ever done is open
myself up to the world and let people get to know the real me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If you really knew me, you would know that my biggest dream is
helping kids like me who are in the system.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">you would know that the person I feel closest to is my brother. He
went through everything that I have, just the same.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If you really knew me, you would know that if I had three wishes,
I would wish for world peace, equal treatment for everyone of God’s children
and for everyone to feel loved.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If you really knew me, you would know that I believe in equality.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">you would know that my family is not normal, but I love them
anyway.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">you would know I feel safe when I’m at home with my pets watching
Netflix with my boyfriend under my 40-lb. weighted blanket.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If you really knew me, you would know that I have been abused but
I lived through it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">you would know that my biggest regret is not being there for my
little sisters.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If you really knew me, you would know that I hate racism, unfair
treatment and inequality.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If you really knew me, you would know that I want people to look
at me and think she can light up the world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1890<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">When
Will I Be Ready to Live?<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If I wasn’t locked up right now I would be doing very terrible.
Before I was locked up I was smoking dope and doing lots of coke with my
ex-girlfriend. We just broke up, but were still hanging out. She’d come over
and we’d just smoke and chill. She preferred meth so she wouldn’t do coke with
me. I was anything but chill. I was honestly tweaking very badly. Every day
people were trying to jump me and kill me because I’ve done some terrible
things to a lot of people. Most these people were affiliated in some gang and
now I’m in trouble. I would still be smoking dope doing nothing with my life or
I would’ve gotten killed and jumped if I continued what I was doing and hanging
with the wrong people. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I somewhat miss my home; it was a horrible house. People around
the area knew it as a dope house and would come over just to get high. Most the
days my girlfriend was over with me and we’d be doing nothing but getting spun
to the gun, feeding and helping my addiction grow. I still have the craving to
listen to loud music, snort coke and smoke meth. I also know what will happen
if I keep doing drugs the rest my life. I’ll end up in jail for a very long
time or I’ll die from overdose. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">The last two Christmas’ my stepdad’s family came over and I was
very high from doing meth the whole week. I was in my own world of being high.
We took a family picture together and you can tell I’m high. My pupils are
dilated and my eyes were very wide. Last Christmas I don’t remember anything
what we did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t even think we
celebrated Christmas. My mom and her boyfriend were drunk and sleeping for week
on weeks. Everyone at my house is either drunk or tweaking and sleeping or
staying up for days. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I know for New Year’s Eve I just got a new dope pipe and was
sitting in my bed and smoking. I don’t know why I wasn’t with my girlfriend, me
and her were texting. I was more into my addiction than my girlfriend. I
remember I was smoking and hearing people cheering outside and yelling happy
New Year’s. It didn’t feel like the holidays, the whole house was pitch black
and my mom and her boyfriend left me to go to the bar. So I was home alone just
listening to music and getting spun by myself. It was honestly very depressing
but I didn’t mind it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Now I’ve spent my 18th birthday locked up, Halloween, Thanksgiving
locked up and Christmas locked up. I haven’t experienced a traditional typical
Christmas with family in a couple of years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTYbqh_nT2JKX7i9KWn8OPQBCae9Ju5cSB7eD308MxYXmrDKK_gXP_eq18dNniD8R0EY_HPzsUxOgN8kT9DbooReOD0Bx31fQYT2dy3Ox7akcT5_aNlPYVbaAm6L-MJS7txuRRPAKFGehb/s1600/first+blood.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="673" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTYbqh_nT2JKX7i9KWn8OPQBCae9Ju5cSB7eD308MxYXmrDKK_gXP_eq18dNniD8R0EY_HPzsUxOgN8kT9DbooReOD0Bx31fQYT2dy3Ox7akcT5_aNlPYVbaAm6L-MJS7txuRRPAKFGehb/s320/first+blood.png" width="256" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1891<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">One
Day <o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">One minute, one hour, one day, we all think it’s fun and games
till the time runs out. We don’t know how good we have it until it’s taken
away. One day I was the GP, earlier that day I got the call, the call that I
knew was going to happen sooner or later. I was hoping it was later, very
later. Later that day I showed up at the house that I knew very well because I
had lived in it before. Two hours later I sat there taking it in, taking in the
fact that she’s dead, not coming back no matter how much I want her to. That
day is the day that I built a wall around me and my emotions so I don’t get
hurt again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1892<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Completely
Honest<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I never got
arrested this last time, I would probably be lying in bed sleeping. The night
before I would have been stealing shit all night not caring about the victims
of my crimes. If I wasn’t in the hall I would probably be on the run because I
cut off another ankle monitor. I would be living broke: no real home, no
family, just “friends” who say they got your back, but when it really comes
down to it they all flake.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some would
have seen me as happy but they didn’t know about the demons lurking deep inside
of me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To be completely
honest I’m glad I got arrested. I know that this should be a punishment and all
but getting arrested this last time saved me from a long and hard life of crime
and time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I’ve been incarcerated I
have thought about my life…not the life my friends want me to choose or even
the life my mother would want me to choose, but the life I want. I want to be
the first one in my family to go to college, and actually do something with my
life. I’m going to become a dental hygienist and make good money the honest
way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have been locked
up on my birthday the past three years in a row, and it won’t happen again. If
my P.O. approves it, I should be able to go home for Christmas. I’m stoked
because I’ve been locked up for the past 9 months and have 5 more months to go.
Hopefully my P.O. is feeling happy this year. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1892<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Completely
Honest<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I never got
arrested this last time, I would probably be lying in bed sleeping. The night
before I would have been stealing shit all night not caring about the victims
of my crimes. If I wasn’t in the hall I would probably be on the run because I
cut off another ankle monitor. I would be living broke: no real home, no
family, just “friends” who say they got your back, but when it really comes
down to it they all flake.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some would
have seen me as happy but they didn’t know about the demons lurking deep inside
of me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To be completely
honest I’m glad I got arrested. I know that this should be a punishment and all
but getting arrested this last time saved me from a long and hard life of crime
and time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I’ve been incarcerated I
have thought about my life…not the life my friends want me to choose or even
the life my mother would want me to choose, but the life I want. I want to be
the first one in my family to go to college, and actually do something with my
life. I’m going to become a dental hygienist and make good money the honest
way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have been locked
up on my birthday the past three years in a row, and it won’t happen again. If
my P.O. approves it, I should be able to go home for Christmas. I’m stoked
because I’ve been locked up for the past 9 months and have 5 more months to go.
Hopefully my P.O. is feeling happy this year. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1893<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">In
Disguise<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Once upon a time I could watch the sun rise. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Once upon a time I could see the star’s light. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Once upon a time I didn’t have this hard of a life, but everybody
says that it’s just a part of life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">People like me die every night, so tell me what you see when you
look me in my eyes, because the smile on my face is just pain in disguise. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">So, I’m going to pray to God that I make it through the night. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">It’s not about the size of the dog in the fight; it’s all about
the size of the fight in the dog; I’m going to succeed even against all the
odds.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1894<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Free
Spirit<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I live a life of promises<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I flow as singly as the sea<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">My mind is like the ocean<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">The earth's amiss and I am free<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">The world is but a floodgate<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">My heart is like a tomb<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">My wisdom ever endless<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">In this world I am alone<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1895<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Waiting<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I never in my life thought I was going to spend my Christmas and
New Years in a cell. I wish I could've gone back into time to the day I cut my
monitor off and had a second to think of my consequences...or what was coming
with the choice I was going to make. I just didn't ruin my Christmas and New
Year’s but my family's too. I don't know what to do for what I did. I have so
many emotions, feelings I can't express or know how to. I'm full of anger in
the inside for what I did and the only one to blame would be me. It's getting
harder and harder each day, putting a smile on my face, especially when I'm
just not missing the holidays, but my mom’s Bday, my Bday, my dad’s Bday, and
my niece’s baptism. I don't know what to do even though I know there isn't much
I can do, but hope I get out and wait. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKVJvyPRRiUtkG5FRNJmJo6e8utO6Gct7HzUZOWTdxjo_CQhIysvCKN3a9nIDc5LegQShGlhJG2PkRYJgVXh8C6LsVv4mdvh_ymvrxvH1jQmFbbwPKuUZud2dh51f-a8SjJeC8i_6C-vXc/s1600/diamond.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="305" data-original-width="495" height="197" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKVJvyPRRiUtkG5FRNJmJo6e8utO6Gct7HzUZOWTdxjo_CQhIysvCKN3a9nIDc5LegQShGlhJG2PkRYJgVXh8C6LsVv4mdvh_ymvrxvH1jQmFbbwPKuUZud2dh51f-a8SjJeC8i_6C-vXc/s320/diamond.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1896<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Pathway
to Freedom<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I wake up in the morning and smoke a cigarette, which is not a god
way to start my day. Then I show up at school and see my family because most of
my family goes to the same school as I do. Before I walked in I would go in the
ally way and smoke another cigarette.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I have done it so many times, but it only takes one time to get
caught. It just so happened to be my one time, so when I got caught I was taken
to the office and the office called my P.O. Then I went to probation. They drug
tested me and I came up dirty so I got locked up for the first time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">When I was growing up my dad wasn't in my life and I would tell
myself it was my fault. I would also say that he is the reason why I would
always get into trouble or why I don't do things right, but as I grew older and
matured more, I realized that I'm my own person and I make my own decisions. I
can't let another person’s actions take blame for the mistakes in my life. In
conclusion I realized that I'm my own person. I make my own choices and I
define myself. Most of all, I MAKE MY OWN PATH.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1897<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Forgiveness<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Move on. Is it that easy? Forgive yourself. Nevertheless, how?
Letting go is easier said than done. Eventually it became too late for the
childish games I would play and all the chances I have gotten. It was too late
for “I don’t know.” I was too old and not young enough to not know right from
wrong. There became a point in my life where I cared about nothing. I threw
away school even though I was good at it. I threw away all of my family even
though I knew they loved me. I got rid of any support for greatness because I
thought, no I insisted, my way was the right way. I ran, and ran, and ran, away
and thought I could run forever. Thought I can live a rebellious life all I
wanted. Juvenile Hall? Not a problem when I get out I’ll just do it again.
Consequence? I laugh at rules. I had the mindset of a child. A foolish child.
Where has that brought me? Where am I now? What a good thing I once had and now
look where my choices have left me. I never wanted to listen to the warnings
from those who cared. Then it hit me. Everything it just hit me. Harder than
ever. What am I doing? I felt like a complete and utter disappointment I felt
like I was sick and there was no cure. My world turned dark I was officially at
the end of the road. I fell into a depression that I thought I would never get
out of. I knew I had messed up from the beginning of my childhood. My heart was
filled with regret and hopelessness. I just could not forgive myself. I could
not move on. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1898<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Praying<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If I were at home I'd wake up in the morning, smoke some pot, and
go to school. I'd stay at school till' lunch, then ditch. I'd head home or go
hang out with my homies. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">The things I miss about home are playing video games, going
wherever I want, and my friends. I miss how they would protect and care for me.
I never had such people care for me. Once I got arrested some of them didn't
have my back as much as I thought they would. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I miss my family. I miss my girlfriend. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I hope I get out. If I do I'll be a good person. Being locked up,
it ain't cool, it ain't fun.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Everyone thinks it's cool to be locked up, but nah it's truly not.
I pray that I'll be released and be able to go home. The only person I can ask
for help is God. I pray to God every night that I'll be able to go home. I
really regret doing what I did.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Journal #1899<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Famous
Coco Pancakes<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you really knew
me. If you really knew me, you would know my past, my present, as well as my
hopes for the future. You would know what I was like growing up and how I
changed, moved on to see better days. The dreams I have ahead. The negativities
I left behind. You would know all the strong people whom have helped me grow
and shine. The people who have helped me with my transformation to becoming the
beautiful Black Queen that I am every day. The pride that shines. Everything
that I am is here laid out here for you on these lines. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Growing up happy and
loud, joyful and proud. Everything was a game even a powpow. Punishments grew
old. Nap time became my time to glow. Family is everything. No “was” in that
sentence. I am grateful to be alive. Blessed to be a descendant of my Nana R.
as well as my Nana J. 87 and 60 years old, but they still got up daily to help
clothe me. Breakfast time was my time to learn and thrive. My Nana R. would
make me some of her famous Coco-pancakes. I cannot tell you the recipe or I
will feel guilty. My Nana J would make me her famous spicy-lemon-smothered
chicken fried steak and gravy. They made sure I was always well fed. I cannot
recall a day when I went without eating. Thanks to them, I will never go
hungry. I will never have to worry about what I will eat. I know to make
something from nothing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have you ever had
fresh applesauce? Have you ever had raspberry cinnamon roll pancakes? Have you
ever had pumpkin pie bread? Those were just some of my childhood deserts. I can
proudly say I have always been wrapped in love. As well as swaddled in care. I
do not know if you know how that feels but I do. I would not change that
feeling for anything in the world. I remember asking both of my Nanas if they
felt poor. They always told me growing up “You can have all the money in the
world, be the richest person in your neighborhood, and all that would be
nothing to a lonely person, because they are not happy. Money can buy you
things, but it cannot buy you happiness. Do not be fooled by pretty things my
baby. It can’t help you.” Everything I learned growing up I take with me
everywhere I go. So, if you really knew you would know this. However, you do
not so you do not know me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYChXLpFI-7dfflqbRdF5qXQ6IrvVRipEbwZvA73Eyv2pw5OIvM93rHImMU2ZwoJCFk5o_yX2NFVMlqPZW9XU3lScPrzFZyWYwtSOAv0ZraA1WdXiBru6dvK5rNzUhSQD7bhM_2_prROJZ/s1600/horns+and+flames.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="531" data-original-width="687" height="247" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYChXLpFI-7dfflqbRdF5qXQ6IrvVRipEbwZvA73Eyv2pw5OIvM93rHImMU2ZwoJCFk5o_yX2NFVMlqPZW9XU3lScPrzFZyWYwtSOAv0ZraA1WdXiBru6dvK5rNzUhSQD7bhM_2_prROJZ/s320/horns+and+flames.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1900<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">First
Year Alone <o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">First year<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Alone<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">New Years<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Again<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">"What time is now?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">It's hardly ten<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">When will it be?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Next year, amore?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Next year, again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Last year's a bore<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Leave all behind<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">And move along<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Leave and be free<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Keep moving on<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Simply can be<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1901<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Successful<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If you really knew me, you would know that I am afraid of the
unknown.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If you really knew me, you would know that I am proud of
overcoming adversity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">you know that the hardest thing I have ever done is admitting my
mistakes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If you really knew me, you would know that my biggest dream is
helping people who never had it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">you would know that the person I feel closest to is my girlfriend.
She sees the real me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">IF you really knew me, you would know that if I had three wishes,
I would wish for happiness, prosperity and equality.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">you would know that I believe in Jesus.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">you would know that my family and I have been through hell and
back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If you really knew me, you would know I really love music.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">you would know I feel safe when I’m surrounded by people I trust.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">you would know that I am the type of guy to give someone my last.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If you really knew me, you would know that my biggest regret is
disappointing my mom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">you would know that I hate the things I’ve done/said that I can’t
take back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">you would know that if could change one thing about myself, it
would be my “me or you” attitude.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If you really knew me, you would know that I want people to look
at me and think he will succeed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1902<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Forgiving
Myself <o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need to forgive
myself for situations my family says I had no control over. When I was younger,
my parents would argue over things that were irrelevant to my age. However,
then the arguments would go ballistic and turn into a tug-of-war match with me
in-between. Fighting for who is going to take care of me. I started thinking
thoughts of, “If I weren’t here, would they argue? Would they fight? Would they
make up or break up?” Who knew… some of the things I have seen. I could have
hurt my dad when he did things, but I don’t know why I didn’t say anything. I
would just sit there, stuck in shock and disbelief. I just sat there, stuck!
Too much regret from those days bury pain in my heart and anger deep down in my
soul. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I never forgot about
those times for years and years to come. I started to treat females a certain
type of way that was wrong. I had a girl who made my heart lurch for love, but
because of anguish and regret, I treated her like shit. I lost her! I started
to feel just like my dad, needing someone there for me, then pushing away when
help occurs. Selfishness is what it is called! Nevertheless, as I got older and
more mature in understanding life, I cannot change the past and I cannot keep
looking back because I am going to keep tripping and falling worrying about old
things. Some of the things I did were wrong and I forgive myself and it’s time
to move on and look forward instead of backwards. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1903<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Guardians<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I remember growing up in the cold nights <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I remember mama getting high, hitting the pipe <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I remember her getting mad leaving bruises on my thighs <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I remember feeling helpless all I could do is cry <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I remember mama was struggling so she couldn’t provide <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I remember my older sister saying “everything will be alright” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I remember being left alone mama was never in sight <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I remember getting took when CPS came by<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I remember wishing mama would arrive <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">But she didn’t I shouldn’t have been surprised <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I remember a woman came into my life making it all right <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I remember getting a new family that cared for me but I was blind <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I remember thinking they would leave my side and tell me lies <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">God sent me a prize that was one of a kind <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I remember this family making my dark little life so bright and
everything seemed fine <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I remember getting a family I can call mine <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I remember knowing they would stick with me for a lifetime <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I remember getting caught up now I’m doing some time <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I remember I disappointed mama and apologized <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">But I promise when I get out I’m going to try <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">My family is the reason I strive, the reason I grind <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Because I know for a fact this family won’t leave me behind <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">My guardians, I love <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1904<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Going
Big<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If only I was home for Christmas I would be with my girlfriend,
holding her and doing everything with her. We would be with her family having a
good time. The things I miss the most is my girlfriend and family. They both
mean so much to me. I wouldn’t give them up for anything or anyone. I like
having them by my side. They help me with everything. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I never missed a holiday season with them before. This will be my
first time. Christmas at my house is wonderful and my family is awesome and
cool to be around. We do so much for the season. We go big or go home. We just
put a lot of thought in it. Also, my girlfriend is part of my family now and
I’m a part of her’s. They mean so much to me, I love them dearly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I don’t think I will leave anyone behind for the New Year. I’m
starting 2020 knowing my wonderful and beautiful girlfriend is expecting our
baby.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjCbAxOf3LA9pMiE6aF4COMfiORhOAIpGSrrsPa3L2dea72-CHGY2_dutRBggSpc_6J4aTEh9XAvnlOX4L8gsYrNxW1sDC4fUuul7_EBpvsBdBIR1kA8x40DXhz75Sbrutla1sHA6K82Ja/s1600/reaper.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="625" data-original-width="537" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjCbAxOf3LA9pMiE6aF4COMfiORhOAIpGSrrsPa3L2dea72-CHGY2_dutRBggSpc_6J4aTEh9XAvnlOX4L8gsYrNxW1sDC4fUuul7_EBpvsBdBIR1kA8x40DXhz75Sbrutla1sHA6K82Ja/s320/reaper.png" width="274" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1905<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">What
If I Were Not?<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If only I were home,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Where would I be today?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">I wonder what I'd <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">See or feel<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Right now<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">To go away<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If only I were home, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If not here, where would I be?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If I were home, and I weren't here,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Then wouldn't my life be free?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If I were home alone, today,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">What is it I would do?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If having friends and partying,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Were never hip and cool?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If I were there, and I weren't here,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Where is it I would go?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Where would I be?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Lost or free?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">From here, I'll never know...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1906<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Going
Off Grid<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If you really knew me, then you would really know that I have
trust issues. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If you really knew me, you would that I don’t give out love. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">you would know that the most important people to me are my sister
and my baby cousin. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If you really knew me, you would know that I don’t like a lot of
people. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">you would know that I don’t like big crowds.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">you would know I had a crap hand, dealt at birth. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If you really know me, you would know that I hardly ever cry. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">you would know that that the last time I cried it was when my
great-grandmother died on Mother’s Day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">If you really knew me, you would know I will go off grid when I’m
20. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1907<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Trapped<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Trapped in this cell. Feelin’ like I’ll never leave. My homies on
the outside screamin’ free the team. Cold cell make a cold heart/it’s getting’
hard to sleep stuck in deep thought. Gettin’ flash backs and memories. I really
shoulda listened to what my mama was tellin’ me. Remember all them robberies. I
just had to eat. Traumatized from all the<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>bodies. You don’t know what I’ve seen. Nicotine in my lungs. It’s hard
to breathe. Green in my weed. I lay back and jus think. If I hadn’t done what I
did, where would I be?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1908<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;">Home<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I was home right
now I would be spending time with my family. I miss being able to wake up
whenever I wanted to or staying up whenever I wanted to. What I also miss being
able to do was go out and being with my homies. Every day when I wake up I see
the cell I'm in, but I'd rather be able to wake up and hug my momma. In Juvie
I'm not able to hangout or be with my friends, but if I was at home I could
easily walk through the front door and go kick it with them. We would just be
at the park chilling and wouldn't trip on anything or anyone. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Christmas at my
house is actually pretty cool. Every Christmas we stay up until midnight and we
open our presents, but we will wake up my baby sister and tell her that Santa
came. I never missed the holidays with my family. This year I missed
Thanksgiving, and I'm going to miss Christmas, my birthday, and New Year’s. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 9.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In 2020 what I would
want to leave behind is all the wrong that I did, the new goal I'm going to
achieve is getting a job or getting money in general and being able to provide
for my family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<br /></div>
</div>
chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-84313551263271941202019-11-07T13:37:00.002-08:002019-11-07T13:37:58.789-08:00<br />
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Entry #1867<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><o:p></o:p></u></b></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Inception</span></u></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-effects-shadow-align: none; mso-effects-shadow-alpha: 50.0%; mso-effects-shadow-angledirection: 18900000; mso-effects-shadow-anglekx: 0; mso-effects-shadow-angleky: 0; mso-effects-shadow-color: black; mso-effects-shadow-dpidistance: 4.0pt; mso-effects-shadow-dpiradius: 5.0pt; mso-effects-shadow-pctsx: 0%; mso-effects-shadow-pctsy: 0%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">James, running away from something evil, hits a wall. He
tries to climb it. Scraping his fingers against the cold red bricks, desperate
to escape. He looks up for help and sees a bird flying in the air. The evil
gets him and he wakes in a bird's nest. Compared to his bed it was a bit
scratchy. He learns to love worms.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Entry #1868<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">CPAP Machine </span></u></b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Whoa, I was soaring through the air when suddenly I looked
down and realized I was on a huge dragon. I grabbed the reins and tried to get
it to turn around but it kept going. The sky turned into outer space and I
could hear an engine running. That’s when I pushed my girl to stop the snoring.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Entry #1869<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
Big Loss <o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Jose has been sad from the loss. Losing his grandma got him
in a very deep depression. Emotionally stuck, he wanted to know how he could
possibly feel her presence again. He went through a lot of pain trying to
find a way to bring her back to his reality, even if just once more. Sleep was
the answer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCSn7oyRs4aEQhxS5J8bUscq1yAVDuquXKkPZRbMDyn5kxo9eLmHZ-POmwIXmCPD17Nhf9SdBnhRWJxtXiUHM4Eq6czS0-r0z-753fbmuP7ejuoLZLjA_JlnPbsQeE1EoQvzdfG5T87i2T/s1600/pic+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="260" data-original-width="519" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCSn7oyRs4aEQhxS5J8bUscq1yAVDuquXKkPZRbMDyn5kxo9eLmHZ-POmwIXmCPD17Nhf9SdBnhRWJxtXiUHM4Eq6czS0-r0z-753fbmuP7ejuoLZLjA_JlnPbsQeE1EoQvzdfG5T87i2T/s400/pic+1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #1870<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A
SERENDIPITOUS EFFECT<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Serendipity attended school regularly, and was rarely absent
or tardy to class. On Friday, she was the only one in her homeroom … She
decided that when her teacher came in to attend to her and her classmates, she
would pretend to be missing as well. Mr. James Harrison entered the classroom
to find three students and a dog.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Entry #1871<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Salads
of DEATH<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">There on a dark stormy storm, was a bowl without enough
dressing, no ranch could possibly quench thy dryness on thine leaves. Nooooo
tomatoes! Just pain. LETTUCE cause strain. Pulls me through the storm drain.
Cesar, Italian, SWISS CHEESE! MOZZARELLA!! CATALINA! Some croutons with
nooooooo futons. Protons, no electrons. The children of the bowl drop dead to
become whole!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Entry #1872<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Soaring</span></u></b><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As I soar through the air on my bike I start to wonder how
I’m going to land. If I land on my face it’ll hurt. If I land on my tires I’m
good, but as I hesitate through the air I plummet down to the earth like a heat
seeking missile about to hit globe with great destruction…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Entry #1873<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The Wrong House </span></u></b><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Banjo, the mean bully, skips confidently into another
neighborhood. He chooses to search for something to bully and decides to go
around a house into the backyard for some massive destruction. He smiles as he
sees it is a small home without any doors. But the growl was big from inside.
He quickly decides to run. The growl grows.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Entry #1874<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Voices<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">He sat in a dark closed-curtain room. Watching the smoke
swirl and drift away before his own eyes. He hears a group of voices in his
head. He hears them in the radio and his TV. Shadow people walking behind the
walls. The voices are getting the best of him. It’s only him and the voices all
day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Entry #1875<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Not
Everything Is What It Seems<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Two homeless boys, starving, walking down the street,
stumbling, not because they’re drunk or high, but because they are light headed
from not eating and lack of sleep. They enter into Safeway and steal food and a
bottle of alcohol, not to get drunk for say, but to stay warm while the cold
winds rip them apart…LIFE. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Entry #1876<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">NIGHTBIRDS<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">One night, I sat on the porch of my quaint and subtle
cottage in the woods, watching the sun as it set away. The trees were swaying
gently in the wind. I could hear the beautiful melodious sounds of nightbirds’
songs resonating in the distance, vibrating together in a beautiful harmony…
Everything to my attention was beautiful and perfect…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Entry #1877<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Schizophrenia<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">50 people breaking in through my window trying to kill me.
Running around the house with a big knife. I see dead people in my couch and
walls. The plants and furniture become alive and start walking. The voices and
shadow people seem so true. Crawling through the carpet trying to get away.
Thinking how will I get out?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Entry #1878<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;">Chillin</span></u></b><b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Pedro and Sammy were chillin. Suddenly, A loud thump from outside
startled them. Pedro and Sammy decided to go check out the noise.
They slowly crept around the backyard looking for anything strange.
Nothing. Quickly, Pedro began talking to himself in a frightening tone and
chased Sammy. As Sammy begged him to stop, Pedro dropped, </span><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span><b style="mso-ansi-font-weight: normal;"><span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-ansi-language: AR-SA;"><span dir="RTL"></span><span dir="RTL"></span>“</span></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Ha-ha, Gotcha!” he teased. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Entry #1879<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">SPELLING…BE!?<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I remember, like it was yesterday… The Riversville spelling
bee. I was there to test my wits and rise up above any challenge that was
imminent, and to exceed in any and/or every way possible. The last and final
word that they had required for me to compose out of my bare knowledge of the
English Language…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“E-M-I-S-S-A-R-Y”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Entry #1880<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS"; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Sticks and Stones</span></u></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I'm climbing the mountain, but keep falling down cutting my
hands and knees. Out of breath, hurting, wanting to give up. Climbing and
bleeding, I press on. I close my eyes as sand blows by and I fall. When I open
my eyes I'm on the other side of the mountain. I have accomplished my goal and
surpassed it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Entry #1881<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
Good Gone Things<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Being woke up in the early morning and told to get ready for
school. An omelet on the counter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Walking into the house and smelling Grandma’s perfume. The conversations
they would have. The laughs shared together. Her presence and hugs whenever
they were needed. The nighttime talks before bed about how he could better
himself. The family trips. Gone. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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Entry #1882<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Life's
Bad & Good Colors<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Tae lost his colors, his meaning of life left him. But a
little of him wasn't ready to give up seeing more colors. Life he only saw as
his bully. And one of those bullies put him in a sad room of only plain colors.
The sad room made him miss colors. And soon his bullies became his
friends. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Entry #1883<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Helping Our My Buddies</span></u></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Snakes in the pathway invisible in tall grass. Walking
through the field to feed the hissors. They stand up on two legs and arms
stretched, ready to bite the hand that feeds them. Bob tries to help his
friends be successful. Snakes curl up and jump at his body. Without fear he
reaches out, "sssss" and gets bit "ahhhh!"
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Entry #1884<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The Brave Three Headed Beast Dead Forever</span></u></b><span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I was in the garden and I heard Billy yelling in the
distance, "Hey, John are you coming". <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I was still very disoriented from the explosion. I yelled
back "Yeah, be there in a sec."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Running through the rain, I caught up to Billy. I took the
sword, raised it high and finished off the beast forever.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-66547024293490217022019-10-02T11:17:00.006-07:002019-10-04T10:05:09.741-07:00<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Entry #1849</span><br />
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<div class="MsoPlainText">
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><b><u>Just Getting
Started</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> For the m</span>ajority of my life I was surrounded by
drugs: my dad did drugs, my brothers did drugs. I never cared for them but I
wasn’t against them either, I just thought of them as helping people with pain
to get through the hard days. I never wanted to get sucked into that kind of
lifestyle where days flew by and nothing felt real. I’ve seen the consequences
of my brothers getting messed up in the head from using, not trusting anyone
and feeling like everyone was against them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Later on I did get caught up with drugs
but not in the way you think. I was selling them in mass amount. My brothers
would have me go make deals for them and go get the product. But I would never
do the supply even when it was offered. I wasn’t going to get addicted because
there was so much around that if I did get addicted I would become something I
wouldn’t want to be. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I moved back here was when things
got a little rough. I was about 13 and got in an accident and had oxy
prescribed to me. I got addicted. I’ve always had bipolar depression, but with
the oxy’s and the pain, it all got worse, causing me to go into a bad place. I
started to smoke weed to get the edge off and it worked for years, until I got
kicked out and I was living on the streets. I was 16 at the time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was couch surfing, and sleeping on
the streets for about 3 or 4 years. I was with my homie and we bought Xanax and
that’s when I got addicted to those because they took everything off. I felt
numb, no pain, no memories, nothing. I had a really good job. I was trying to
get back on my feet and get a place of my own however with the Xanax I started
missing days and not showing up and that ultimately got me fired. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After that I quit doing drugs, got my
job back, and went back to school. I was still on the streets which made every
day a struggle. I managed, up until my boss told me he had to let me go
because my work permit only allowed me to work weekends and he needed someone
full time. That put me in a bad position. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I owed my friend money form staying
with him and his parents so I went out one night and robbed a house to get some
money or something to sell. I was caught on the scene when the cops arrived.
Four months later, here I am sitting in Juvenile Hall serving 14 months. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I may have had a bad path and not the best
cards but this is not and will not be the end of my story. I have a lifetime to
do right and make something of myself. I began four months ago when I got
placed in here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Entry #1851</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><b><u>Curing Blindness</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I've realized
over these past six months,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I've been blind
this entire time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Blind to the
thoughts in my head, misinterpreting their meanings.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Blind to how
people are feeling, and turning them away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">My mind has
changed so much; it's honestly quite scary.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I have learned
the errors of my ways and I want people to see, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I'm not a
monster! I'm not a murderer! I made a mistake; but that doesn't define me!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I'm a hard
worker! I'm determined! I've changed for you and for me!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I know you don't
like me putting others before me. I've been working on loving myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I understand now,
all those things you've told me. I'm sorry it took so long for me to see.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I'm going to
fight the urge and negativity! I'm going to rise to spiritual prosperity!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I'm going to make
the world see; that the past is always behind me!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Giving me
guidance, teaching me, reminding me through memories and mistakes and
experiences. For the longest time I thought I was losing my mind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I'm proud to tell
you I'm doing just fine. Thank you for believing in me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I couldn't have
done it without you. My mentors, my family, and my boo, from me to you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Straight from my
mind, I'm not blind I can finally see what is meant to be for you and me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
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<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Entry #1852<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><b><u>My little corner
of the world </u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">In my little
corner of the world is violence and pain, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I’m in a crowd
yet lonely, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Tried to rise
above but held back by those who say they love me, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">The past haunts
me but not by my own choice, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">My honesty
is bad and my lies are believed, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I accept my
faults, my strengths, my weaknesses, and my feelings, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">But yet I am
expected to fail, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">My achievements
are overlooked, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">My failures
glamorized, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I know
nothing, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am not
responsible, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">A disappointment
is what I am made to be, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Loneliness is my
best friend, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Dreaming is my
pastime, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Understanding is
my desire, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">My little corner
of the world is priceless. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Entry #1854</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><b><u>No Reason or
Purpose</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When I was younger I was surrounded by drugs and alcohol, and as I got
old I started using weed, drinking and popping pills. I did it because all my
friends did it and it made me feel good and accepted into the friend group I
was involved in. But it did help sometimes when I would go through a break up
or when something difficult came in my path, I always resorted to popping pills
and drinking with my friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After a
while I was drinking every day and night going around stealing for no reason or
purpose. It first started out as stealing food, then bottles, then money,
bikes, cars, and guns and it became a normal thing for me and I would always do
it under the influence of alcohol or pills. I ended up stealing from my parents
and family which was the worst mistake of my life because now I’m locked up and
won’t be out until next year some time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Entry #1855<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><b><u>A Tragic
Event </u></b> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">A tragic event
that happened in my life was when my grandpa died. It taught me to not give up
and keep striving. This was a hard time in my life. I lost someone
that was very important to me. It gave me strength to do my best in school
during that time. Even though I was hurt, I prayed </span><span style="font-family: "courier new";">to God to
help me and guide me through this rough patch in life. This
happened two or three years ago but I still feel the same
type of hurt like it happened just yesterday. As I got older, I got
better at coping with my feelings. I got a lot better at putting things behind
me. I was always the type of person to put my feelings in my pocket in public
but in private, I will let my emotions out. </span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Entry #1856<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><b><u>I am poem </u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am red because
it is the color of blood <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am a triangle
because it is cool <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am running
because I am always chasing chickens <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am “BANG”
because it is the sound of a gun <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am a big
dog because they are ruthless <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am transporting
by Kodak black because it is orange like my pod <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am 31 because
it is the number of my birthday <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am a McLaren
because I am luxurious <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am a rocking
chair because they are relaxing <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am a guitar
because they are harmony <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am Mexico
because it is exotic <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am gold because
it is worth a lot of money <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am a pine tree
because they grow tall <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am afraid of
dying because I want to live forever <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am not easy to
trust people because people switch up <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAD1BqkbBPCR0deBxfpDSqVYH29pMqYkCZUkQ1Tv1i5vfAqqU4VuVGE8_WWo6nDGwADFg_4yaluHLyh-e3gEHUXHRS6gSJUmelL3GhtVm-DHV-K_UjowVJ8Whws6u97txuPjBHW6DNkf8M/s1600/mandala+2+-+Copy.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="212" data-original-width="224" height="189" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAD1BqkbBPCR0deBxfpDSqVYH29pMqYkCZUkQ1Tv1i5vfAqqU4VuVGE8_WWo6nDGwADFg_4yaluHLyh-e3gEHUXHRS6gSJUmelL3GhtVm-DHV-K_UjowVJ8Whws6u97txuPjBHW6DNkf8M/s200/mandala+2+-+Copy.JPG" width="200" /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Entry #1857<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><b><u>Learning</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I was young my life was good. My
dad was in and out of my life but other than that it seemed perfect. One of my
big brothers used to kick my ass, but that’s a normal house hold of boys. I used
to get into mischief and get into fights at school and around the
neighborhood…normal business. But then my grandma died and all hell broke
loose. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was the glue to our big family. I
didn’t see most of my extended family after that. My mom and dad were
devastated. My dad split again and went back to running the street. My mom
started hanging with the wrong crowd and started selling. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One day I woke up to being told my mom
was in prison. She was with some dude when he strangled another man to death
with a belt. Story was, as usual, that she didn’t know anything and he told her
to give her a ride to pick up some things and she was in the car by herself
when the cops pulled up. One of my brothers at the time was here in Juvie where
I’m typing this right now. My littlest brother went with one of my mom’s
friends, which a couple of my aunts thought was the best decision. Me and my
older brother stayed at my family’s apartment with my older cousin Brittany
until the rent couldn’t be paid. Me and my brother were already very close and
knew are way around things. We left the apartment and were doing what we had to
do. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had the nicest clothes and had
money. Isn’t that all what teenagers want? Well not us. We wanted our life
back. We had a hole in out chests because our family was destroyed and we knew
things could never be the same. We had friends but it felt like we were walking
the earth, just the two of us, alone. I stared living with a girl, while my
brother lived with one of our other friends or something, I can’t remember. We
never slept outside or anything because we had people that were there for us.
We did our best to return the favor to our friends in our own ways. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was already into fighting, hustling
and everything that came with it, but it was all getting worse. My mom got out
and tried to fix things for us. The damage had already swallowed us though and
our lives were already committed to this routine we lived. My mom got back my
littlest brother and my big brother got out of camp. Things couldn’t go back to
normal though. We moved into my grandma’s house but behind the scene things
were bad there too. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Me and one of my brothers still ran
amuck. Our family got a trailer up in the mountains but me and my brothers were
always in town because there was nothing to do up there. My mom started messing
up again and we lost the trailer. We all split up once more and later I found
out my dad was locked up. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He got a hold of us and told us he was
going to change his ways. He got out and was turning things around. Me and all
my brothers except one were with my dad staying at my uncle’s (my dad’s best
friend’s). I was back and forth between there and a girl’s house. Things were
good for a while. Then my dad left yet again and we still all stay at my
uncle’s after he left. I started to getting really involved in some serious
things while my dad was gone. I continued these things until I was caught with
a gun. That landed me here, in the same place my brother used to be. But you
know what they say, “Everything is a learning experience.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Entry #1858<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><b><u>Then My Third</u></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Childhood is supposed to mean good
memories and good times. For me it means abuse and bad memories. There are
things that I can’t talk about. Some kids get a good childhood, some get a
middle ground and others get a terrible childhood. Me, I got the latter one. It
started at my birth. My biological mother was a meth addict and was using when
she was pregnant with me, so when I was born, I tested positive. When I tested
positive, they took me away and put me with a foster parent until I was adopted
at the age of three by cousins. Now, let’s fast forward five or six years, my
adopted mom said some shit and I was taken away again. I went to my second one
then my third one. After that I went to my first group home, then my second,
then my third. This process repeated until I was sixteen. Now I’m locked up
until I’m seventeen and a half.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0EXB75vRXRQd-vTNtYm5paVNeP6FPe44IAa2x0SYYYX3iXwAuO2wKhp6F4veV_bt2m8jWD44bDIp01OtKBDcbTmakzWreMbBoZ_RacdrwWI97QZ_r9Eq6p8cOP5Q55zFhfeGCRJrMEJeF/s1600/Untitled.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="171" data-original-width="345" height="197" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0EXB75vRXRQd-vTNtYm5paVNeP6FPe44IAa2x0SYYYX3iXwAuO2wKhp6F4veV_bt2m8jWD44bDIp01OtKBDcbTmakzWreMbBoZ_RacdrwWI97QZ_r9Eq6p8cOP5Q55zFhfeGCRJrMEJeF/s400/Untitled.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Entry #1859<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><b><u>Forgetting</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Drugs are a big factor in my life. I have
never done any type of hard drugs like meth or heroin, but I’ve done just about
everything else. I was introduced to weed at the age of 9 by my dad. He smoked
all the time, so me and my brothers thought that it was a cool thing to do.
Eventually we started to steal weed from my dad and smoke it whenever we got
the chance, and ever since then I have been getting in trouble because I smoke
weed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My dad never cared about weed, he would
even smoke me and my brothers out from time to time, but my mom cared a lot.
She tried to do everything to stop me from smoking: she grounded me, whooped
me, made me do chores, anything you could think of, but it just made me more
determined to smoke and to hide it from her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eventually things got worse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just stopped caring and moved in with my
friends. I smoked and drank every day, occasionally drinking lean, popping
pills, snorting cocaine, and doing acid. When I lived with my friends I did all
types of stupid stuff to get money. Let’s just say that every time that I’ve
been locked up I’ve been high or drunk. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I get out this time I’m going to
stay sober and try to find a job and get my life back on track so I can forget
about this place and this part of my life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Entry #1860<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><b><u>Maturing from
Pain</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I was a kid. Growing up was
exciting. It was also difficult at the same time. I would enjoy myself learning
how to shoot guns with my uncles. Also, I was learning how to fish, how to ride
quads, and dirt bikes. I liked going riding with my uncle and friends. We would
go to the Pismo Dunes. We would also go to the drag races. I entered and lost,
but I finished in third place. What I like most was BMX Freestyle and to be
around my uncle because he taught me many things. I learned how to do tricks and
hit dirt jumps. I was only in fifth grade when I started biking. I stopped
biking when I hit tenth grade, but I still know how to bike. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I played football for two years in a
row. I also played baseball for two years in a row as well. Those are my two
favorite sports. I stopped playing sports and started to drink and smoke. I
started because my cousins were shot and almost killed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of my cousins who was closest to me
almost died before my eyes. It put my family through so much pain. I saw a lot
and have been through a lot. Then I started to hang with my cousins and their
friends. I slowly started to affiliate with the gang. I was only in sixth grade
when all that happened. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I saw my step pops shot and killed from
a distance. What hurt more was that my little brother was there and saw his dad
killed. I was only in eighth grade. It felt like every year things would get
even harder than they already were. Two years later my brother was shot and
killed. That really messed me up mentally and physically. I matured more from
pain than age.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Entry #1861<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><b><u>Two Ounces of
Heroin</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Drugs. Drugs are the root of all of my
problems in the last couple years. Let’s start when I was 14 and was at my
homie’s house around a bunch of older white boys all smoking dope. One of them
asked me if I wanted some and I said, “Yeah,” and inhaled that dope smoke for
the first time. I was in love. This may sound bad but I loved the feeling so
much I just couldn’t put the pipe down for a while. It turned my life upside
down. I got a job while I was high and even though I was able to work properly
I still wouldn’t sleep for days on end and would go out partying after work. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then smoking it just wasn’t cutting it.
I wanted to get higher. I went to one of the homeboys and asked him for a clean
needle and started slamming. Once I started slamming it was a wrap. I also
started slamming heroin and doing speed balls and my mind just went bonkers.
One night after being up for like 5 or 6 days, I thought it would be cool to
rob the sheriff’s search and rescue then the golf park. That’s when I got
locked up. I got out on probation and first day out went to the boys and
started using again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was back to the same schedule of
getting high, f-ing around and getting in trouble. This time I stabbed a guy
and ended up back inside. After that I thought I was invincible and could get
away with anything with just a little amount of time. After the fire, I got out
and bought a cheap rv and started hanging out in the bad neighborhood and with
the OGs. I started selling big amounts of both heroin and meth. This time I was
staying up for 10 to 14 days and just getting way out of whack. I was
committing all kinds of crimes, robbing a lot of people at gun point and just living
that terrible life. I was on the run for like 3 months and got caught up on
just a violation. Thank God! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was enough to get me stuck in here
for 14 months. It is not the life I want to live anymore. The drugs took my
sanity and family and now I’m working hard to get them both back and never want
to go through this pain again. When I got locked up I was coming down off
heroin so bad I wanted to die. I never felt or went through anything that
painful ever in my life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It feels really good now to be sober
and not having to worrying about robbing people or getting shot over 2 ounces
of heroin on a drug deal. That was the scariest part of it all. I’ve seen
people die off overdoses and get shot over just a small bit of heroin because
some dude was dope sick. It messes you up and when you continue to do it you
start to lose emotion. I am better with my family now and am getting certified
for welding, so when I get out I can go home and be with my family again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOoPJqeDTrodHAZXHAoUoLB-HKApnc6dB1n7QtaQyNGvjSteVUZjsF_i7ctj9qWO2QtP9-ZFB1tPmOORiiZN3qHlUCHoryl0aVEoAtc6BpJinOf8nwrmAkSFzHvsxjqwuIWD7vXbjwliVY/s1600/WE+Armed.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="223" data-original-width="526" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOoPJqeDTrodHAZXHAoUoLB-HKApnc6dB1n7QtaQyNGvjSteVUZjsF_i7ctj9qWO2QtP9-ZFB1tPmOORiiZN3qHlUCHoryl0aVEoAtc6BpJinOf8nwrmAkSFzHvsxjqwuIWD7vXbjwliVY/s400/WE+Armed.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Entry #1862<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><b><u>LOCKED UP FOR THE
HOLIDAYS</u></b> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I’ve been locked
up for the holidays four times. I don’t think I’ll have a much better time at
home because I’m in a group home. The last three years, I’ve been to
five group homes and I’ve ran from all of them. I don’t know what the holidays
are going to be like at home. I do know how it’s going to be here. A church
comes and brings a lot of food like pizza, soda, tacos, burritos, and more
foods. I think it’s more fun here than at home! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Entry #1863<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><b><u>Popping</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am an orange
because my hair is bright orange. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am a heart
shape because I am loving. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am a race
movement because I like fast action. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am the sound of
money being counted because I am priceless. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am a lion
because I am fierce. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am a country
song because most people don’t like me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am the number
one because I am the one and only. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am a Jeep
because I like to explore. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am a TV because
I like to entertain people. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am a Jalapeño
popper because I am popping. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am a trumpet
because I am loud and hard to play. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am first place
because I never lose. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am fire because
I am hot. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am a
pomegranate tree because I’m juicy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am afraid of
being lonely because it makes me feel great when I surround myself with people
who love me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I
am beautiful because I am me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Entry #1864<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><b><u>10
Toes--2Feet</u></b> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">What makes me
want to press ahead to never give up, to persevere through the drama to reach
where I need to be? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Well, there is
this saying that I really believe in, “What has not killed you yet will only
make you stronger.” I remember that phrase because of my past. I realize that
what I went through before may not be as serious as what I’m going through at
that moment. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I use that phrase
to motivate me to the fullest.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I tell myself I
am not who I was because of my past. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I am a solid
strong individual. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I also keep in
mind to keep pushing forward through the drama, there is not anyone in this
world that will get me where I want in life, but myself, not a soul. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">I was about nine
years old, on my own. No mother, no father. I grew up real fast,
learning life skills and how to be an adult. There were many things and
places someone at my age should not have seen or been through. All the
abandonment made me solid and cold hearted. All the fake love and lies
that I bought into made me question everyone and everything at all
times. Growing up on my own made me who I am today. This is why I keep
pushing through the drama and moving forward. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Head up, not
down. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Ten toes until I
am down. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Two feet until I
am in the ground. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Entry #1865<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><b><u>Trying to Move
Forward</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">At the age of 12
I was a young Hispanic running around the streets and up to no good: robbing
and smoking weed. My first time being arrested was also at 12 years old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It didn't stop me from chasing money and ditching
school. I didn't realize the way I was living was a problem, popping bottles,
kicking back and chilling. After all that fun you end up at the wrong place
wrong time. Thinking to myself should I turn myself in just to get things done?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">Entry #1866<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";"><b><u>Family Evolution</u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<span style="font-family: "courier new";">A tragic and
stressful situation that happened was my parents separating. I couldn’t
control that it was happening, I was just there watching it. I stayed out of
it, acted like it wasn’t bothering me. I was just hoping the situation would stay
the same and that it would all work out. But, at the end my parents separated.
It did get better because even though they are not together they’re on good
terms and both are still here for me. I am used to it now. I am close to both
of them and love them both. I still grew up with all my siblings, their
separation didn’t mess us up. I used to get stressed about it because I
would have to go back and forth to my mom’s and dad’s houses. Finally I just
stayed with my mom for a couple of years and life was good because I’m my
momma’s boy. Now that I have been locked up, I will be moving with my dad to
have someone keep me in check.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<br /></div>
</div>
chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-64030713168485899632019-06-28T11:32:00.001-07:002019-06-28T11:32:06.882-07:00<span style="font-size: 10pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Entry #1821</span></span><br />
<div class="Body">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So Much Has Changed<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Let me awaken from this reality <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I'm ready to face my mortality <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I reminisce your scent, your voice, soft skin<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Your smile glistened my soul within <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">When you left you took a part of me with you <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Thus began my mental issues <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I miss you…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">We pray and worship this man above <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I'm praying to get back the person we love <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This loss and grief not only affected me <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It ripped apart our once stable family <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Couple years later so much has changed <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Yet you will never be the one to blame <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Daddy is losing his mind and weight <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Before I know it, I'm following his toxic traits<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Where is he now? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Nowhere to be found <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Mom’s depressed <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Constantly stressed <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Our relationship, a mess <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I'm sorry, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I love you, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I shouldn't have shoved you, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What is wrong with me? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In all honesty…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Only time I feel okay is the dopamine running through my
brain <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Cigarette smoke keeps me sane <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">My violent acts releasing pain <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Sleepless nights I drift away <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Shadow people shift in uneasy ways <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">One vulnerable night a stranger took advantage of me<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Now I'm ashamed, going insane, can't think with my brain<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I feel so alone, scared, and unloved<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Still begging God to answer my prayers, send blessings from
above <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Finding excitement, love, with temporary men in the sheets <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Then in a few months he'll be gone, I'll forget how we meet <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I'm in and out of juvi cells <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Blank spacing, heart hurting, eyes burning, this life is hell
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The man making allegations to pin me down as a bad citizen <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In reality I'm just a mad citizen <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Mad that others have it easier than me <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">While I'm stuck living in poverty <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I wish someone would care <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This is so much to bare <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">But I'm hard to understand <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I push help far, far away, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I'll regret it <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Dad I hope you find your way <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">No matter how long, you'll find yourself again someday <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Mom you're a blessing <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I wish you'd quit stressing <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You are smart and bold with a heart of gold <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In time I pray I can patch myself up <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Before it’s too late and I become corrupt <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Please forgive me of my sins <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">For I have lost myself within<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Lost my way and my mind <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">But in the end I hope I shine <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I care so much about you both <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I can't wait till one day I show you guys my growth <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #1822<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Catching a Beast<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I love to go fishin', being in the outdoors early in the
morning with a cool breeze making your eyes water. Getting ready for the trip
the day before, setting up your poles, getting your tackle all organized. Not
getting any sleep because you’re so excited to get out on the water. Fishin'
days are the best days. Coming home smelling like fish and power-bait. Every
single thing about the fishin' experience makes you feel free. Freedom. If only
I was free. I don't get to experience freedom anymore. I'm sitting in a box for
fourteen months wishing I had a life. One day though, one day I'll be back on
the lake early in the morning thinking I hooked onto a beast, but really it'll
just be a log. That's okay, because I'll be free. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #1823<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Clean<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Over the past year I have gone through many things, most of
which were negative. The topic of my story is repeatedly drugs. I knew nothing
but drugs for the past year. It is something that I never want to experience
ever again. Along the way I lost myself, my friend, and family. I gained many
mental health problems along the way too. These include severe anxiety, severe
depression, bipolar issues, psychosis, and schizophrenia. Still to this day I
experience these problems. Sometimes they’re mild and other days they’re bad. Meth,
coke, and pills flipped my life. I really used to love getting high daily, now
I'm 55 days clean. The one that crushed me was losing my girlfriend. I used to
be very suicidal and had many overdose attempts. In 6th or 7<sup>th</sup>
grade, before I even started drugs I tried killing myself with my stepdads pharmaceuticals.
Four or five different bottles of pills, each a handful along with codeine.
From thinking about death and drugs 24/7 to going to school and getting my
diploma.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1824<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Forgiving
My Dad<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Dear Dad,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">For all the times I called you and <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">You never answered, I forgive you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">For all the times you answered, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">but never made a conversation, I really don’t know you. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">You ask for me to fly on my own to Indiana <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">when you know you have the choice to go for me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Why is it always about you?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My mom doesn’t speak nicely about you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">She says you lie about the stupidest things<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Like you saying you left my mom, when you’re in the wrong<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">You’re going to cheat on your wife who has two kids and one on the
way?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I know for a fact that you didn’t even witness my birth<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Am I just that child you really didn’t want? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">It’s really funny how I know you the least, but I want to talk to
you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My brothers want nothing to do with you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But I know you get uncomfortable when you talk to me <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Because I’m really a stranger to you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I bet you know your friends more than you know my life<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Now you have four children, three teens and a baby less than one<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">As you can see, you only claimed one. She’s only seven months. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">What about your other children you’ve forgotten about?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I feel jealousy. My own blood takes my middle name?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">You really are replacing me, just throwing me in the dirt<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But I really can’t cry over you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">It just doesn’t mean that much<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">You’re my dad, and I’m your daughter, that’s it <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">You see I don’t like you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But I don’t hate you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Because you gave me the life in this world<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">And I thank you <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I know you can’t admit the crap that you did<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But you know what? Your daughters going to forgive.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #1825<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Help<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The person I was five years ago would of never thought about
getting involved in the shit I am in now. Sometimes I wish I could go back in
time to figure things out. I want to talk to my friends but their too far. I
just sit in my cell for what feels like eternity, but then I think back, this
may be my destiny. I hate being alone, I need to feel numb, but I wear a mask
so no one can know. I go to my family to get my way through, but they look at
me in a way like, "Who the hell are you?" Someone help I'm feeling
alone, I keep staring at these walls, trying to think where I went wrong. I
have no one to talk to. I have no trust, but someone just help, I can't stand
being alone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #1826<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If the Clock Keeps
Ticking<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I can't sleep<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">With all these demons in my head <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Half the time I wish <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I would have been left for dead<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I can't sleep<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">When I think of all the people I've wronged<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">And how their struggle<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I must've prolonged<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I can't sleep <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I just want to stick a needle in my arm<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">My probation officer and therapists <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Call it self-harm<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I can't sleep<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Man I miss my boyfriend<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It hurts to love someone<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You might never see again<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I can't sleep<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I just want to get back to working the streets<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">There's money to be made<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">And I'm stuck in a cell<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Tossing and turning under my sheets<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I can't sleep<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It's sad how happiness for me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Is only found in a pipe or syringe<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Or a little baggie<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It's hard to be positive <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">With all this pain<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">And all these demons in my brain<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">But I still pray to God every night<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">That I'm not completely insane<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">At the end of the day<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If the clock keeps ticking<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">To me it's all the same...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1827<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">A
Poem to Myself <o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Somewhere
in this poem you’ll see a little girl standing in front of a locked door. She
didn’t intend to have an attitude, she was only 8. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Don’t try to rebel, it won’t get you anywhere. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Somewhere
in this poem you will watch my mom being pushed against our balcony. Our family
was broken and my Grandpa just took off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Don’t cry over the imperfections of people. They’re not worth it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Somewhere
in this poem you’ll find a bullied child in the classroom. She was weak at the
time and had nobody to turn to. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Do not keep to yourself, it will only hurt you more. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Somewhere
in this poem you’ll see a blade across her wrist. She only wanted to be loved
and wasn’t getting any of it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Don’t break yourself, you’re all that you have. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Somewhere
in this poem you’ll see handcuffs on her wrists, her mom didn’t trust her, nor did
she feel safe in her presence. It had just been a few days after her birthday.
There was yelling and screaming and my brother heard all of it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Don’t blame your blood, you did what you did. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Somewhere
in this poem you’ll see she got out, but then she came back and is back in the
system. Her family treated her like a dog on the street. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Forget them, if they want to be fake, let them be fake. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Somewhere
in this poem she’s cold in her cell, she wants to go home and take back time.
Nobody goes to her court dates and she feels alone in this world. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Don’t give up. You’re going to make it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1828<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Oh
Mama<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Oh Mama, 1 musketeer, 2 musketeer, 3 musketeer, 4 musketeer
including me. How many more? 2 musketeers left in the islands. 2 musketeers
near me but so far. When I used to think God was real, I used to speak to them
in the stars. Oh Mama, where have you been? I have a lot of questions. Why did
you leave me in discretion? I know father was an abusive, dangerous man. A lot
of power without understanding the meaning of family. I know he hit you. I know
he caused you pain, but do I remind you of him? The way you yelled at me, is
that how much he put pain in you? I used to see it in your eyes: the need to
leave, the need to escape. Sometimes I feel the same way. Oh Mama, things you
don’t know. Once your little baby, now locked up in the cage doing things you
probably already seen. Your mi hijo is losing hope, missing his ma and his
hermanas and hermanos. Oh Mama, I musketeer, 2 musketeer, 3 musketeer, 4
musketeer including me. How many more? 2 musketeers left in the islands. 2
musketeers near me so far. When I used to believe in God, used to speak to them
in the stars.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1829<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">What
is A True Friend?<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’ve never known what a true friend really was. None of my
"friends" showed me what a true friend is. They would claim they’re
true friends, but they really couldn't put their money where their mouth is.
For example, every time it's time to do a drill or have their back, I would
stop what I am doing just to be there for them. When the tables are turned no
one was ever there for me when I needed them. People would always tell me when
you join a gang they show you the love your parents never gave you and give you
the loyalty you’re supposed to get from your family. In all reality your gang
will do you worse than your own enemy. I believe a true friend is non-existent.
It's a sad thing to believe but where I come from there is no such thing as a
true friend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnKTkWWuCV6rbPdDprSlCNmFzUrC3aBPFSH1jKFc4FGdEh8nvW-ahGdfrzEOSwC_9j-8noHy3rfHT6QqQNqH1GpvROWzp8QmTgvxmjWprwkmUCHkG75HZgk6wYnWAl3ANgCq3Z7N2dpGbW/s1600/WE+Armed.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="223" data-original-width="526" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnKTkWWuCV6rbPdDprSlCNmFzUrC3aBPFSH1jKFc4FGdEh8nvW-ahGdfrzEOSwC_9j-8noHy3rfHT6QqQNqH1GpvROWzp8QmTgvxmjWprwkmUCHkG75HZgk6wYnWAl3ANgCq3Z7N2dpGbW/s320/WE+Armed.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#1830<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">A
Good Mom<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I believe what makes a good father\mother is being there for your
children(s). Also, children need parents to support them mentally and
physically. If they need you, never say no to your child and never give up on
your beautiful blessing. Help them grow up better than yourself. My mother was
always my mom and my dad in one. Mom always did the things that needed to be
done. She always had food on the table, clothes on our backs. She always did a
lot for us even if it felt like it was a little bit. She was always there for
me and my siblings. She never left us alone in our hearts. Even when things
felt like they were going down, she was always there to pick us up. My mom was
always a great mom to us, physically and mentally. I would like to be a better
father for my daughter. I don’t want to follow my dad’s footsteps and not be
there for my daughter. It could hurt her later on in her life also. I want to
be better than him and be a successful dad to my daughter and to my future
kids.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1831<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Fighting
Demons<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">The last 5 years I’ve had probation gunnin’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">It used to just be stealin’an runnin’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I got caught up in a sticky situation<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">At night I’m in my cell reminicin’ an prayin’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">14<sup>th</sup>, 15<sup>th</sup>, 16<sup>th</sup>, 17<sup>th</sup>
18<sup>th</sup> birthdays locked down<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My mama tells me daily that someday I’ll come around<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">She tells me I’m not the girl I used to be<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Her and everyone else always expecting of me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But I’m fightin my own battles just tryna get freed<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">The DA tried to threaten me with prison<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">They said, “Let’s make a deal.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But they already know I ain’t the one <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’ll take it to the grave cuz the pain of bein’ in here, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">they don’t know how it feels<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I had to cut off some close ones to be with some real ones<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I don’t think of those days<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Those memories are best kept away<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m staying in here steady grindin’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">The way my file’s goin’, I’ll end up in the P anyways<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1832<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">What
Makes a Good Mother or Father?<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My opinion of a
good parent or good parents is that their job is to make sure you are provided
with the stuff you need. They make sure you are loved and make sure you have
food in your stomach and clothes on their back and to have a roof over your
head, and to also have understanding of rules. These are some of my beliefs on
good parenting. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I would not be
able to fully explain what good parenting is because I never had good parents.
However, what I can say on my behalf is I take care of my daughter by giving
her everything she needs to make sure she succeeds. In addition, I give my baby
the life I never had as a young child. I show her I love and care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I teach her right from wrong and guide her in
the right direction. I also stay close to my baby girl because I want her to be
able to come to me without any hesitation or be scared to ask or talk to me
about what she is feelings or any problems she is having. I want my daughter to
know that I will always love her and would not ever leave her side if she were
in any type of situation, even if she is in the right or wrong. I would never
let my child feel she is abandoned or left out. I will always be her father and
I will not ever let her down. So this is me and my example of good parenting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #1833<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A New Chapter<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Five years ago I was walking in L.A. I was one of those
disrespectful kids who would jump people with my brothers and I would be
smoking everywhere I went. I still smoke everywhere I go but I have manners and
am respectful towards everyone I meet, it's a two way street. I have grown a
lot in the past five years I've been in the game for a long time and I've seen
friends and brothers die right in front of me. It really makes you take a step
back and think about what you’re doing, instead of leading followers to jail
and or dead I show you can make money the right way without the constant
thought of watching your back. There were times where I wanted to put a bullet
to my head and I had that brother to show me otherwise and I'm glad I had him
there. I want kids to learn from my mistakes and be better than I am. About
eight years ago, my little brother, back in Los Angeles, got stabbed and he
died in my arms that night. Me running with him dangling down in my arm to the
hospital but it was too late. Every day I wish it could have been me. I wish I
could have found him earlier. But it wasn't that way. I just have to move on
and live for him and be the best I can be for him. Three years ago when I got
injured with a bomb they ended up flying me to San Francisco and on the
helicopter. I lost a lot of blood and endured the trauma. There was a beautiful
sunset. I remember sitting there and then everything went silent and it was
just me and my little brother that had died years before watching the sunset. It
felt like hours and hours or maybe even days just sitting there watching. Then
everything went black and I woke up in the hospital with a pretty serious
injury. From that day on I realized it wasn't my time to go. I have so much to
live for and I can't leave this earth without making it right for my little
brother. Here I am in juvenile hall, but I can promise that I'm going to switch
my life around and be the best I can be with what I'm given. I don't have much
family, but I do have a girl that I can start my own family with. I love her
with everything that I am and ever will be, which gives me another reason to get
out of here and make it right. I’m ready to begin a new chapter in my
life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1834<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My
Mom<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My mom is a really great mother. She is a truly intelligent and
outgoing woman. There is nobody like my mother in my eyes. She has always been
there for me and never left my side. She has a great heart and helps everyone
who needs anything. What makes her a good mother is that she has 6 kids and has
time for each one of us. She helps us all with our homework and makes us
delicious food even though sometimes we are picky and don't like the same
things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She makes everything possible.
When she has low income she makes things happen and really adores us all the
same way. Without my mother I wouldn't know what to do. I would be lost without
her. My mom helps her sisters, brothers and all of her family out who need her
at any time. No matter what, she is always there taking care of her loved
one's. She is respectful to everybody surrounding her and her vocabulary is
always on point, being very caring and joyful. One day I wish to be back with
my mother. She is the best parent I know. She goes through many things and
hangs on no matter how bad is the situation is. Everything she does for me and
my siblings will always be the best ever.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #1835<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Family Comfort<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Years ago
I used to be a good kid. I used to go to church school and praise the lord. I
did everything I was told and how I was told to do it. I felt like a robot and
just wanted to make my own choices. I loved the lord but I wanted to do it on
my own and not be told to. Then I started making my own choices like 5 yrs ago,
it all went bad. First I started skipping school. Then I started messing with
girls at school and that's when I got expelled. My parents were pissed when I
got expelled and my dad and I got in an argument. I left the house. I was mad
at myself for dishonoring his wishes for me to do good. I started smoking weed
and robbing and then I started the heavier stuff. I started smoking meth and soon
got arrested. After I got out for the time, I thought I was invisible and
started slamming meth and heroin and that got me nowhere but heartaches. Now
I'm sitting here doing 14 months just wishing I could run back to my family's
comfort and not have a worry in the world again like when I was 10 or 12.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1836<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">No
Money<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Did I have a lot
of money growing up? That answer would be no, I didn’t have a lot of money.
Money has affected my life a great deal. First of all my mother or father
didn’t have money to buy me new shoes and clothes for school. So, I got picked
on because I didn’t have the newest things. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After elementary
school I needed money to get things so, I started taking in cans and plastic
bottles to at least get some type of money. Even when I would get that money, I
would have to spend it on food for the house. I had to make sure my little
sisters ate. I wasn’t getting enough so I started breaking into houses, robbing
people I didn’t know. <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Then I
started selling drugs. I was getting money fast by selling weed and other drugs,
but it didn’t help me. I ended up getting locked up. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After I got out I
started thinking better and making better decisions for myself and my family. I
left all the drugs and other things alone while I started looking for a job in
construction. I wanted legal money and I wanted to start saving my money up so
I could better my family. I don’t depend on money right now, I depend on myself
making that money so when I’m gone my family has nothing to worry about. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #1837<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Getting Out<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In 3 years so much has changed. I wish it could all just be
how it used to. While thinking about my past, thoughts flood into my mind, the
good ones and the worse ones. I went from young wild and free to 15 living in a
cell. Skipped to 16 in a different cell…17 I'm in the same cell. I'm turning 18
next month and I get to leave the cell and go home, but I can't go home because
the house burned down. My whole town burned down. I can't even see my friends anymore.
One died in a car crash and some are on the main line, free my bro's fast. The others
never wrote me, I thought that they were homies after all they showed me. They
didn't even know me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrHWO8mk9Cv2_bqlMd3YeFZQRxevnpQsIdLT8rSdYXLKTOsWjjKjinIBdbXM-T8ALA2pdYn8TWw3dH-wdUDBil-sZ-cZ02XcpQOGwHKk-eg6CsM98CFT8P9TmflEaI2ITb9EagvDOs7Y7S/s1600/New+Heartcrown.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="451" data-original-width="449" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrHWO8mk9Cv2_bqlMd3YeFZQRxevnpQsIdLT8rSdYXLKTOsWjjKjinIBdbXM-T8ALA2pdYn8TWw3dH-wdUDBil-sZ-cZ02XcpQOGwHKk-eg6CsM98CFT8P9TmflEaI2ITb9EagvDOs7Y7S/s320/New+Heartcrown.png" width="318" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #1838<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Keeping the Light<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I used to live that fast life and wonder what it was like to
be sober for a few days. Those drugs turned me to an addict. I used to think
life always got dark right after the sun shined, regardless of what I did. But
I figured out it’s my responsibility to keep the light. Now I'm about to
graduate high school and join the United States Marine Corps. I want to save
lives. I'm going to school to be an EMT paramedic and fire fighter while
serving my country. I'm going to work hard and stay sober. I'm never going to
lose the light again, for my family, and for myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">My struggle made me who I am. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1839<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">A
Good Mom or Dad?<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>What makes a good
father and mother are parents that love and care about you. A good father and a
good mother will love you unconditionally no matter the cost. Good parents are
there for their kids all the time don’t give up on them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My mother and
father weren’t always there for me. I grew up the majority of the time with my
grandparents. I lived with my mom and dad for the first two years of my life
and they had to give me up due to my mom being hooked on dope and my dad was in
the military. It always has messed with my head when I think about them because
they just let me go like I was nothing. Now that I am older they are trying to
come into my life and be there for me. It is mostly my mother coming to visit
and meeting with my probation officer. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>When I eventually
have a kid, I want to be there for my son or daughter. I will never abandon my
kid and leave him or her for someone else to take care of.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #1840<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Five Years of
Change<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I remember five years ago, I was innocent in a sense. Sure, I
would get in trouble at school and get in little fights with the neighborhood
kids, but I would've never even thought about the things I do now. I know this
sounds cheesy but I miss the old days. Five years doesn't sound that far away,
but I feel like I have done most of my growing up in the past five years. Five
years ago I was 11, in 7th grade, just starting to see the world for what it
really was. I was noticing that the world didn't revolve around me and my
family and friends. Five years ago I didn't really think about my family
troubles, I thought every family goes through what I was going through and
still am going through. I thought every kid wasn't supposed to get the toys
they wanted and had to deal with split up parents that moved far away. When I
learned about the world and how unfair it was, I got bitter. I didn't care for
anyone who wasn't in my circle because I learned that if you trust someone
right away they will betray you to the fullest of their capabilities. The
authority figures in my life didn't know what to do with me because when they
asked to do something I would tell them to screw themselves and I would do the
opposite. I wish I could go back five years and live in my bubble of family and
friends and not know what the world would do to me in five years time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1841<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Sports<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Sports are the main thing that have impacted my life positively.
There is no better feeling than scoring a touchdown and being on the field with
my brothers. Sports have shaped my character, taught me to be positive. Discipline
and hard work pays off. When I am playing sports, nothing in the world matters
besides that moment. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1842<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">A
Good Father or Mother<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">What makes a good father and mother? In my opinion I think it
takes the child and the parent to make their relationship great. My father and
mother are both the best. I can tell them pretty much everything or anything.
My mother is great at giving advice as a parent. My father, well… we both kind
of fell off. He left me and my mother when I was twelve years old in the 6th
grade. Now it’s different, I’m older and into different things, like guns,
gangs, drugs, and other things that have to do with such.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do I want to change? The answer is yes. But
at the same time it’s too late to change somebody who is sucked into the
streets. Maybe one day I could move somewhere very, very far and not be around
any of this negativity. But, I don’t think that will happen anytime soon.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #1843<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Due for Some More<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Five years ago, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I wished I could see the snow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In my desolate town of Chico,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Life was beginning to feel low.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">At the age of eleven,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I felt like seven,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">At the age of twelve, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I should've been shelved.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I was afraid, of everything I saw,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Everything I thought,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Every time I took a shot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I was afraid, of what was about to be, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Or what should've been.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">My life was about to change,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">For worse, to become better...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Pain creates strength.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Agony creates determination.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Heartbreak shows self-worth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Negative emotions, helps you savor the positive ones.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Now I realize how strange, my life would be without change.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I'm due for some more,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">To become anew<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">To prove who I am, and that a grew<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Just for you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">For those whom I love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">For only the sweetest doves.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Those are whom I love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #1844<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Craving Boring<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Two years ago I was homeless in LA with three other people. We
had run away and I was the one with the idea to run in the first place. You
know, out of all the unlucky things that can happen I didn't expect it to
happen to me. My girlfriend was one of the people that ran away with us. We
were good for a while. We had fun while it lasted and then we got hungry and sometimes
people would try to rob us. We had to keep looking over our shoulders. We got kind
of paranoid and that's when things went bad. Long story short, they all got
shot to death in the same week. My girlfriend got shot right beside me. It was
later I found out that the bullet was aimed for me. I went crazy for a while. My
brain couldn't process them being gone so I would have hallucinations of them.
I would talk to them, laugh with them, and then I'd blink and they would be
gone. The reality of it all would come rushing back to me and I'd break down. I
became suicidal and I was like that for two or three years. I'm better now than
I was a few years ago. That's just a fraction of what has happened to me. I
just want an ordinary boring life with a wife and kids and a boring job but I
know I won't have that even if I tried. I hope who ever reads this will be
luckier than I.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY3M7_N4vJGIWCUn9mppi92cr0r3gcOq7b9mARnTgJpee6urvT5HNNvyBh1PHiFp4f7xd39Qt61vXivs1qLUcWabVc4nJ2g8jh6ea8icpIPEV-mFp8ELRs8rRRsp5A0FqbxDO0DhkGaofQ/s1600/W.E.+Unleashed+Adolescents.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="193" data-original-width="368" height="167" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY3M7_N4vJGIWCUn9mppi92cr0r3gcOq7b9mARnTgJpee6urvT5HNNvyBh1PHiFp4f7xd39Qt61vXivs1qLUcWabVc4nJ2g8jh6ea8icpIPEV-mFp8ELRs8rRRsp5A0FqbxDO0DhkGaofQ/s320/W.E.+Unleashed+Adolescents.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Entry #1845<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A New Path<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: Helvetica; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Since the last year or so I've been really going downhill. I
started selling more drugs and carried a gun on me everywhere I went. I never
realized what my life was becoming until I came here. I was just in love with
the money and everything that came with it. Every day I wish I was free, but I
know that everything happens for a reason. This place has change me as a person
and the lessons I've learned coming here I will carry forever. Now I know none
of those things I was involved in were good for me and the people I trusted and
called my family weren't what they seemed to be. I'm glad I now have the
opportunity to sit back for a while and look at all my mistakes. I need to
focus on the path I will take and getting home to my little brother.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1846<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Trust<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Trust is a very important trait. Many people don’t take it
seriously. Me, for instance, I have trust issues. The reason why is because I
learned the hard way. Meaning I put my trust into someone and when I most
needed them, they let me down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t
want friends for reasons or season. For me to have a true friend I have to
trust them. For me that’s hard because you never know if that person is
reliable to trust or not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A man goes by
his word and doesn’t go back on it that’s apart of trust. Trust is a hard bond
that shouldn’t be broken, once broken most times it can’t be fixed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1847<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
Remember<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember one time I was sitting in my cell and a staff came up
to me. He told me that if I keep doing the same stuff in life I am going to end
up like my mother, on drugs and on the streets. I was twelve at the time. I
really did not care about what people had to say. I thought I had it good in
life. I thought I was just so cool. Everything just went through one ear and
out the other. Now I know care what people have to say. I just did not want to
let out my feelings and emotions. It was so hard to just sit down and talk to
someone about my personal life and how am going to grow up. But then I really
realized that the people that really care about me, they will sit down and talk
to me. But the people that don’t care about me, they will not even bother. Now
that I’m sixteen I think about all the things that people told me when I was
twelve. Life is too short to not talk to someone about your problems. People don’t
know about your true struggle, even if they mean well. No one knows how you are
going to end up; you have to overcome those problems and actions speaks louder
than words. All am going to say is am talented, beautiful and smart. I don’t
need anyone to judge me and speak down on me. I know that I will be successful
in life. No one is perfect.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1848<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">To
See My Old Man<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">In my city there’s a lot of violence<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Guns bullet shells and a lot of sirens<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m numb to all the thuggin’ and all the crimin’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Every time I leave the house, Mamma cryin’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Addicted to the struggle<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">That’s why I’m shinin’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Speakin’ on my brotha, know<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">We slidin’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m tired of the fakes they always lyin’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I want to have a life<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But this liquor and addiction has me locked inside<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Drugs and depression is a bad combo<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Fun in the moment, but now I feel <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">So low I won’t know what to do <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">When I’m out tomorrow<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I just want to see my old man<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">And tell him I love him<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I can’t go back in there<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Day like it’s my last<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-50563945801249847462019-04-15T14:02:00.001-07:002019-04-17T12:35:55.419-07:00<br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1806</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Mom’s Meth</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I was about 12 years
old. I had three little sisters and we were living in a two bedroom apartment
in a really bad neighborhood. My mom and her boyfriend were heavy into drugs at
the time. They would borrow money from me that I would get from my grandparents
or steal my things to go and buy more drugs. At the time I believed them when
they told me they needed money for food and what not. But it was all a lie. I
would barely see my mom. She was always in her room or in the bathroom with my
sisters dad shooting up meth. There's one day that especially sticks out in my
mind. I was asleep in the room with my three little sisters and my mom was up
all night with people in and out. I barely slept. The next morning when I get
up I notice my youngest sister wasn't in her bed. I walked out to the living
room and find her on the ground, she was having a seizure and wasn't breathing.
Her eyes started rolling into the back of her head and her whole body was
turning purple. I start screaming for my mom and I had to kick open her door
and wake her up. My mom calls an ambulance and luckily it got there quick cause
we lived right around the corner from the hospital. My grandparents picked me
and my other two sisters up. Later that day I found out the reason my sister
started having a seizure was because she picked up a straw she found on the
ground and started chewing on it, the straw had meth paraphernalia inside of
it. Some lady my mom had over fell asleep on the couch and the straw fell out
of her pocket. My mom and her boyfriend got arrested and my grandparents took
us in. My little sister got taken to foster care and we didn't get her back for
like two years. Luckily she is healthy and everything has gotten a lot better
since then, and my mom has been doing a lot better too. I really hope things
never get like that again.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1807</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">DOWNFALL</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My life is a downfall. I
would say it's a roller coaster but my life only goes down. I've fallen into a
hole. My life for the past three years has been a continuous cycle: Drugs, crime,
street life, and incarceration. I started out strong and went down deeper into
the grave I've dug myself. I was using meth and slowly committing suicide. I
tell people I want my freedom, but I keep coming back and people question me
with "Do you really?" These white walls surround me, these blue doors
lock me in, into insanity. Voices in my head mock me. My joyous walk with the
monster has gotten me nowhere. I became lifeless, careless, and heartless,
pushing away everybody who tried to get close. I stopped caring about myself, I
only cared about my homies who I thought had my back. I thought they were
really down to ride for me. Now as I sit in these pink shirts and blue pants I
realize they didn't care about me, they were only there to enjoy watching me
destroy myself, and ruin my life. I was their entertainment. I sit here now
wondering how I could have messed with death and not even realize it. I was
chasing the monster and craving the taste, wanting to feel good, and have no
worries. But I wasn't chasing anything good, I was chasing after my own death.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhneY_t2ydqcramgklhJ3JDNaisMsMN4eQPtsi8IOj5T5Ov3jLHVv6U-qXj_cHqiBnLfTaLnAjDaM_1Iyqb5fpyZtMq8_Foez5dF0fswHcQRr5Fm17H3urDyzRTQxBirwcviu26aMQ8Fn7x/s1600/Write+or+wrong.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="260" data-original-width="519" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhneY_t2ydqcramgklhJ3JDNaisMsMN4eQPtsi8IOj5T5Ov3jLHVv6U-qXj_cHqiBnLfTaLnAjDaM_1Iyqb5fpyZtMq8_Foez5dF0fswHcQRr5Fm17H3urDyzRTQxBirwcviu26aMQ8Fn7x/s400/Write+or+wrong.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1808</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Happy with Purpose</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Before I die I want to
know I accomplished something in my life. Want to know I've done the right
things in life and don't regret any of it. I want to have kids and watch them
grow up to become successful. I would like to have left each one of them
something to remember me by. Before I pass away I would like to have given
people valuable information for them to use in the future and for them to use
it in positive ways. It would be nice to have traveled the world with a
beautiful woman. I hope I have many good memories with the people I care for
and for my grandma looking down on me to be proud. I wish to have my brothers
achieve these goals. I would be happy to say I left this earth happy and lived
with a purpose to be here. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1809</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Traveling</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">One thing I would like
to do before I die is try to go to as many countries as I can in the world. The
reason why I want to do this is because I’ve never been out of state and because
of the few places I’ve been are just beautiful. I can only imagine what else is
in the world and I want see it all, all the different cultures, everything.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1810</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Finding My Way</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I was knee high to a
grasshopper when my parents got divorced. My father was off in the military. My
mother was struggling in a small apartment to make ends meet. She was, also,
struggling with the disease of addiction. Slowly, but sure surely, our family
fell apart by the time I was two. My father wasn’t feeling the love for my
mother when they first met, so he left and went his own way.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">We were living in
Jacksonville, Florida at the time and mom wanted to start fresh, so we packed
everything and moved here. She eventually couldn’t handle the responsibilities
of being a mother so she lost custody of me when I was two. The court system
awarded my grandparents guardianship of me in 2004. After that I rarely got to
see my mom and dad because they were both struggling to survive.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">As I grew older I
started wondering why my parents were not taking care of me, so I asked my
grandparents where they were, and why I wasn’t living with my mom or dad. They
finally told me after years of wondering that my mom was hooked on drugs and
that my dad was in jail. It broke my heart as a young buck because I wanted so
desperately to live with my parents. I wanted them to get their heads straight,
so we could be a happy family. But happy endings never happen. I had to man up
and find my own way in life without my mother and father.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtpe_xYBnanE6gHdMam6b4RBUSkwz-Cfu2QMxUYWefb4_rcOL9fY-A2pi2Rmy6ptaKo_tfA2aEHbV8DnibaDuDPWsSkkgbSJeMlO0kgPn-bx8ODGaRk9bQyjLqGN-AtM3yoCT1flCDUGjh/s1600/IMG_1794trees2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="432" data-original-width="307" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtpe_xYBnanE6gHdMam6b4RBUSkwz-Cfu2QMxUYWefb4_rcOL9fY-A2pi2Rmy6ptaKo_tfA2aEHbV8DnibaDuDPWsSkkgbSJeMlO0kgPn-bx8ODGaRk9bQyjLqGN-AtM3yoCT1flCDUGjh/s400/IMG_1794trees2.png" width="283" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Entry #1811</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Influence</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I want to become
successful and help take care of my momma and siblings before I die. The things
that were normal to me were gang banging and robbing people. These things were
natural to me, and I didn’t want to change. Now I realize that those things are
wrong and by doing those things, I put myself in a hole. I was just trying to
come up. I still am, but in the right way. By doing the things I did, it led me
to getting locked and influencing my little brothers and homies to do the same.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1812</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Things I Want to do
Before I Die! </span></u></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">The first thing I would
like to do before I die is let my mom know that I am truly sorry for all the
stupid things I have put her through. Before I die I would like to forgive
myself for all that I put her through. Another thing I would like to do before
I die is be married to the love of my life and own my own house and have my own
family with two or three kids. I would like to own my own business like a
repair shop to repair cars or anything I could weld. I would like to own my own
restaurant too because I like to cook.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Another thing I would
like to do before I die is race in the Baja 1000. This is something I have
always wanted to do. Another thing I would like to do is leave California
because I have never been out of the state of California. I would like to go to
Texas, Oklahoma, New York or Florida. Before I die, I would like to be
successful so I could take a vacation anytime I would like. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I am very determined to
do all these things. I am self-motivated. I want to be able to do many things
before I die but I may not be able to do any of them if I keep on the path I am
on. This path will lead to a bunch of jail time, even a casket or to be alone
my whole life. That would be horribly bad and depressing. I would love to be
married and have my own family that loves me for me and a family that is there
for one another.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1813</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">What I Want</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I want to be happy.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I want to be free.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I want to be worthy
enough for someone to love me in all unconditional ways.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I want society to stop
judging people because they choose not to use plastic surgery to fix their
flaws.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I want gays to have the
ability to do anything they dream to do and not be judged.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I wish no one could be
homeless.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I wish everyone had
food.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I wish all sickness
would go away.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I wish people would be kind
to others.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Before my life on earth
fades.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD3bQgRwmQvNA0xg3x1bf-V-BzeMzhmOZYAfHS7rfAM0Hu6gc2_s7zBd7r6HWSvZf0_I9TiD7Lwvh2zDBXK-Logz0Z4Y4Ide9hqeNg1n_Y7zTAtqANNg7ZDNjte9KfQQH8Ps-E7g578zS2/s1600/greeen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="655" data-original-width="850" height="307" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD3bQgRwmQvNA0xg3x1bf-V-BzeMzhmOZYAfHS7rfAM0Hu6gc2_s7zBd7r6HWSvZf0_I9TiD7Lwvh2zDBXK-Logz0Z4Y4Ide9hqeNg1n_Y7zTAtqANNg7ZDNjte9KfQQH8Ps-E7g578zS2/s400/greeen.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1814 </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Before the World Ends</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Before I die I want to
wrestle a massive gator in Florida.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Before I pass away I
want to own a king cobra, white with red eyes.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Before I leave this
world I want to cover my body from the neck down with tattoos.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Before I'm exterminated
I want to jump out of a plane...skydive.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Before I become extinct
I want to take my little brothers on a road trip, just us against the world.
Before my soul is harvested I want to teach my baby brother how to fish, hunt
and camp.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Before they drag me to
hell I want to tell my mom how much I love her, and how sorry I am.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Before the world ends I
want to teach my brothers how to be men.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Before I die I want to
live my life as eventful as I can.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1815</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">It’s a Beautiful
Struggle</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m getting’ ready to
burst </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Shine bright like a
diamond, while the darkness lurks</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I can teach you how to
dougie</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But you learnin’ how to
jerk</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">It’s a normal thing for
me while smoking on dat purp</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">It’s the homies</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">It’s the team they gotta
free ‘em</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Everyday all alone,
wishin’ that I see ‘em</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Boy, I’m prayin’</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Cuz’ you know I gotta
get it</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Ridin’ with my fam until
I get it to the finish</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">It’s a beautiful struggle</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But I grip it by my side</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Held him by his head
while my homie sat and died</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I sat there and I cried
as it’s goin’ thru my mind</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Every day I’m here, I’m
grateful I’m alive</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">It’s a beautiful
struggle</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1816 </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Three Things</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">One thing I really want
to do before I die is to ride in a professional BMX competition. I want to do
that because BMX is a big part of my life and always will be. The reason I
wanna ride in a professional competition is because I'll be able to meet a
whole bunch of other riders that I never thought that I would meet. Another
thing I want to do is travel all over the world to a whole bunch of different
countries. I wanna do this because it has always been a dream of mine to
adventure to places I never thought I would go. The first place I would
probably go is Italy because I have a lot of descendants that are from Italy
and it would be pretty cool to go and explore there. One of my final hopes
would probably be to drive down the autobahn in Germany because there is no
speed limits so I could go as fast as I want and not get into trouble doing it.
I have been a car fanatic since I was a kid so if I had the chance to be on
something like that and be able to drive as fast as I want, you wouldn't have
to tell me twice.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2s02m-ChaSPuJHsYY7Y1w96D7PQvPyKCdrVDyvR-vmamdNekzBW9R1W8QiomonFwil5fbvqTCfraOU7BHUl4_egZGEgJ3xaVIWToej6BT9IFKBshR8j-spEKphYEi7G_GQWYi2-5Oa_hR/s1600/IMG_1832more+trees.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2s02m-ChaSPuJHsYY7Y1w96D7PQvPyKCdrVDyvR-vmamdNekzBW9R1W8QiomonFwil5fbvqTCfraOU7BHUl4_egZGEgJ3xaVIWToej6BT9IFKBshR8j-spEKphYEi7G_GQWYi2-5Oa_hR/s320/IMG_1832more+trees.png" width="240" /></a></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1817 </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I Know</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m sorry, mama, but
this is the only life I know</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Catch a case, beat the
case and kick another doe</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">These ------ want my
head so I stay with pole</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">All these demonz in my
head I can’t sleep no mo</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m sorry, mama, I know
you hate this life I chose</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I know you don’t approve
the things I do</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I know you miss the
child that you used to know</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I know you hear them
sirens and you think I’m gone</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I know you fear that I
won’t make it home</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I know you hate the man
I’ve become</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m sorry, mama, but
this the only life I know</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Catch a case, beat the
case and kick another doe</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">These ------ want my
head so I stay with pole</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">All these demons in my
head I can’t sleep no mo</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m sorry, mama, I know
you hate this life I chose</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1818 </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Mistakes</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I won’t be out to chill
in with my homies because I’ll be locked up for a few years. I won't get out
til’ I am 21 years old, but when I get out this time I want to do better.
I want to do better for my nephew and for my family because they believe
in me and I want to make them proud. I have been locked up 7 times and I want
this to be the last. DJJ is no place to be. I wish the court would let me get
one last chance so I can prove them wrong and show them that I can do something
better with my life, show them that I am not a bad person. Everybody makes
mistakes in life. I am just like everyone else. Give me a chance to show them
what I can do.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvcPxC3M3HPSZJeKoUv52MkSFDBIHGG_7lz7eJbZBAXRfJgrZ0Z6oyt0vTSmvJ0u0JFIQ3X9nbExmhDk1gsN0HgGfcu62Ulhyk_TqoYKryX-96n-2uWYd76GlM0gCBGGRxQ8_TUfBb7gp5/s1600/W.E.+Armed+with+a+Pencil.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="170" data-original-width="347" height="195" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvcPxC3M3HPSZJeKoUv52MkSFDBIHGG_7lz7eJbZBAXRfJgrZ0Z6oyt0vTSmvJ0u0JFIQ3X9nbExmhDk1gsN0HgGfcu62Ulhyk_TqoYKryX-96n-2uWYd76GlM0gCBGGRxQ8_TUfBb7gp5/s400/W.E.+Armed+with+a+Pencil.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1819 </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Locked Up</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m locked up again</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">So I’m getting placed
farther.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m locked up again</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">And my life is getting
harder.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m locked up again</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I feel out of place</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I try to win this race</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My mom and my family are
telling me to slow my pace.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m locked up again</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">With my whole life ahead
of me.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I need to start now</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Start a new entry</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Leave my past behind</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m getting legally
blind</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m locked up again</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">And I’m starting to shut
out</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Not complying with
probation</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Or the court’s route.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1820</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Divorce</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Divorce, have I dealt
with that? I kind of dealt with it and kind of not because when I was a young
boy, I had my dad until I was about three or four years old when he was locked
up. When he got out of prison he couldn’t come back to California and was
deported to Mexico. That’s when he and my mother started to fade away slowly.
It really impacted me growing up because I didn’t really get to see my father
because he was so far away. I felt I couldn’t get advice from him. It was hard
that my mom and dad split because I feel that if he was close to me and here
for me, I would have looked at life from a different point of view and would
not have been in juvenile hall.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br />chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-85563610617987872762019-03-07T06:00:00.000-08:002019-03-07T13:28:45.983-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Entry # 1778<br />
<u><b>The Monster</b></u><br />
The "monster" it eats you alive. When I got in contact with the "monster" I became afraid to leave, the power it has over me is to strong. I became a slave to it and it took me to a whole other universe I never would have thought existed. When I came back to reality nothing felt the same, and mentally neither was I.<br />
I didn’t realize the "monster" had gotten to me until it was too late. I thought I was fine and everything was ok, but in reality it wasn’t. The "monster" changed my mindset to make me think everything was fine and what I was doing was ok, but really my family and friends were slowly watching me self-destruct.<br />
<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>My mind was in another place and my body was slowly deteriorating, feeling like I was on top of the world, but I wasn’t. I was programmed to think that because that is how the "monster" makes you feel, but in reality I was having a huge downfall. The only thing on my mind was when I was going to have my next visit with the "monster."<br />
<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I started to push away the people who cared and I attracted the people who don't, blinded. Amped up on the charge and thinking it was great until I lost it. I was going crazy without my charge, almost zombie like, doing whatever I could to get that charge back. Sometimes I’d even stoop down to a level I never thought possible.<br />
Eventually I became solely dependent on the "monster," risking my life and hurting my family just to get it. I was breaking myself mentally, emotionally, and physically, and I didn’t even realize it. If I did, I didn’t care. I loved my ride with the "monster" too much. Crystal Meth will always be my “monster.”<br />
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Entry #1779<br />
<u><b>Where I Am From</b></u><br />
I am from a dad that is an alcoholic, a mother that’s an addict.<br />
I am from lies and false promises.<br />
from a heart full of hatred and sad emotions.<br />
from a place where people hide their true identity.<br />
I am from not really knowing my parents for years and shattered tears.<br />
from a corrupt system that has let me down.<br />
from being an angel to turning into a demon.<br />
I am from living good to living bad.<br />
from being abandoned to being rejected.<br />
I am from doing drugs chilling with thugs and sleeping on rugs.<br />
from staying up all night, getting high like a kite.<br />
I am from mental institutions to drug programs.<br />
from having no father figure to learning things on my own.<br />
I am from running from cops to getting arrested.<br />
from doing meth coming close to my death.<br />
I am from a broken family.<br />
from overdosing and almost dying.<br />
from watching my mother destroy her life from a distance.<br />
from trying to get something out of life, to losing everything.<br />
I am from hustling dope to put food in my stomach.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiadpnaqQbFTV8zmkiFDINeFxxOPSkFBcWv3LAiazcZ78kLDOmLItktslsPMC2VjlKwB6ZQuCJQMusHj7J4Roo-zvMTuDA82cIMP7VeTu6UtWSN4g32stMzvKyiHgEFvqdCN7pgGT3rgq1P/s1600/DSCN3251.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiadpnaqQbFTV8zmkiFDINeFxxOPSkFBcWv3LAiazcZ78kLDOmLItktslsPMC2VjlKwB6ZQuCJQMusHj7J4Roo-zvMTuDA82cIMP7VeTu6UtWSN4g32stMzvKyiHgEFvqdCN7pgGT3rgq1P/s320/DSCN3251.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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Entry # 1780<br />
<u><b>I’m Not Done</b></u><br />
I'm locked up, so I don't get to see my family much except on visiting days. But on those days my family doesn't come too often because they're disappointed in me.<br />
I'm locked up, so I'm wishing I could go back home. Seeing my 4 year old sister's tear drops come out of her eyes gets to me. I’m having dreams that feel so real about going home but waking up to blue cell walls.<br />
I'm locked up but changing day to day, waiting on my day.<br />
I'm locked up, so I want to be the role model my little brother and sister want me to be. Thuggin’ on the streets leads to prison or death. 17 but still young thinking I'm old. Going out having fun with my homies, but one wrong move could be life changing.<br />
I'm locked up so I want to change for the best for me before it’s too late and I end up in a big ditch where I won't be able to get out. "You won't be anything in life," the school staff where I was at would talk behind my back because my family was full of gang members, but I would never join them!<br />
I'm locked up, but I would like to go to college as soon as I graduate high school. I messed up all 3 years of high school and it’s hard for me because I never was on track. I was on probation doing good and completed my case but then got caught up with a bigger case, wishing I never left my house to go out to a college party. Looking at my mom before I left my house she told me, "Something don't feel right Mijo," but that never stopped me.<br />
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Entry # 1781<br />
<u><b>The Clarity of Being Clean</b></u><br />
It's 2019 and this year I have a goal for myself. That goal is to not ever use heroin or meth ever again. In about March or April of 2018 my life spun out of control, all because I started using meth. I stopped living at home and stopped talking to my family. My physical and mental health went to shit. I lost almost 50 pounds, started committing crimes, and the list of negatives goes on and on... My life continued like this for a good 6 or 7 months until November, when I got locked up for the first time. I was locked up for about 3 weeks because of a warrant, meaning I was clean for that time as well.<br />
The time being clean helped me out a lot and since then I have never been as strung out as I was at that point. But that doesn't mean I stopped using after that. Shortly after my release I got into using heroin, and went from shooting up meth to heroin. Although this was a downfall, I almost completely stopped using meth. Meaning although my physical health was still declining, my mental health was slowly getting better. By this point I was starting to realize my mistakes and feel bad for what I had done. I had also moved back in with my dad and my brother and had stopped hanging out with most of the people that I used to do drugs with.<br />
I didn't want to be using drugs, it wasn't fun anymore and I wasn't getting high, I was only using daily so that I wouldn't be severely sick. Knowing this made me super depressed because I felt like a slave to the drugs I was using. It was mid-January of this year when I got locked up again, and I've been locked up and clean for about 1 month since then. After using drugs for a long time and being engulfed in that sort of lifestyle, getting clean gives you a kind of clarity in your thinking that you wouldn't have been able to experience while on those drugs, and it makes you want to help yourself and get better. That is where I am at right now.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEwXyobrKTuEDcstFt6PX8wZEzkmaETHYdgJb5r9wE-8Q0Uv_Tc_SEc2RUdTtgtvNa-mkqpuYTGFGMcVzVtLHupukUKbonOZZvQx7ziGKBu2cyQ9f9UKJkLQK2CxnhaoqT7pGiDGxGNiUt/s1600/Writing+Exchange+Logo+%2528Unleashed%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="434" data-original-width="981" height="141" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEwXyobrKTuEDcstFt6PX8wZEzkmaETHYdgJb5r9wE-8Q0Uv_Tc_SEc2RUdTtgtvNa-mkqpuYTGFGMcVzVtLHupukUKbonOZZvQx7ziGKBu2cyQ9f9UKJkLQK2CxnhaoqT7pGiDGxGNiUt/s320/Writing+Exchange+Logo+%2528Unleashed%2529.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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Entry # 1782<br />
<u><b>My Number One Main Goal</b></u><br />
<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>In this New Year, I want to accomplish some goals and make the best out of this year as well. My plan is to accomplish three goals by March 2019. First, I want to get custody, permanently, of my daughter. Second, I want to graduate from high school. Third, I want to complete probation. I am going to accomplish these goals by getting the help from people that are willing to help me achieve them. I also plan to achieve these goals by looking at the differences and the consequences that I would be facing if I continued down the path I am on right now.<br />
<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>First, as you can see, my daughter is my number one main goal. Due to me having a baby from a guy that physically abused me caused my daughter to be removed from my custody. I thought that having my newborn baby was going to make my baby’s father look at things different and change his ways. However, because I wanted my daughter to have a father figure in her life, I thought he was the best for us. He did not care and he kept hitting me. Having to go through this experience caused me to get some classes for domestic violence. I love my baby and I would not want her going through situations she does not belong in just because of the choices I made.<br />
<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Second, completing high school is the second goal I have listed. I was raised with the expectation of getting educated. I remember when I was kid I would get in trouble because I would come home with a bad report card. I would be punished by not getting to go on outings with my family to places like Disneyland, Knott’s Berry Farm, etc. Now that I only have less than 10.5 credits left, I look at my education very seriously (Note from teacher...since writing this, student has graduated). I look at the future and ask myself what if I would have never finished school, how would I be able to support my daughter and myself? I want my daughter and my family to see that even though I was incarcerated, it did not stop me from finishing high school. I want the best for a good life, for myself, and for my baby.<br />
<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Finally, yet importantly, I want to complete probation. I do not want to keep coming in and out of a place that keeps me away from the people that love me and that want the best for me. I want to be a successful; I want to have nice things. I want to be able to get a good job so that I can give my daughter nice things. I want to make everybody think differently about me. I know I can make a change. I am ready to be released and prove who I really am.<br />
<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>How would I feel if my daughter went through the same things I went through just because I did not want to change my ways?<br />
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Entry # 1783<br />
<u><b>Locked Up</b></u><br />
I am locked up so<br />
It’s an upper and a downer<br />
But prepare for the worst<br />
My soul cries and I pray to Jesus<br />
While the devil sits in church<br />
It started as a gift then it turned into a curse<br />
It’s like a broken record but I still sit and rehearse<br />
I’m locked up<br />
So what does it mean<br />
It’s goin’ through my mind then rippin’ down my spine<br />
My past is in the future and my future is behind<br />
Grindin’ up my bones, hear them bangin’ like a chime<br />
Spit blood as the truth but people swear that I’m lyin’<br />
Locked up till<br />
I’m lyin’ in a grave to sacrifice my days<br />
Pourin’ out my brain, watchin’ it go down the drain<br />
Keepin’ up a guard, standin’ ‘till I’m slain<br />
Dyin’ inside ‘cuz on the out, never tamed<br />
I’m locked up<br />
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Entry # 1784<br />
<u><b>Freedom Boogie</b></u><br />
I’m locked up and they won’t let me out! Being in here makes me close myself off and shut down. I don’t want to talk to anyone, I don’t want to be bothered, and I most definitely want to break myself off from the rest of the world and just isolate on my own little island. I’m locked up so… I’m really, really, ready to go home. I want to be happy; I want to see my freedom song. I’m locked up so, my thoughts and feelings are trying to consume and haunt me, sitting in this cell, the extra time is really taunting me. Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock! I’m locked up so, I’ll be free soon not to be locked up anymore, Freedom, Freedom, Freedom! I’m locked up so, I can’t wait till that day really comes, when they open the cell doors, and sing that song (Not locked anymore), but at the end of the day this all feels like a déjà vu dream, I’ve been locked up for eight months so far, one more to go, this time went really slow and I’ve showed lots of emotions. I feel like I should be free, but I’m still here to write this song. I can sit and say this all day long I can’t wait till I’m free, to hit my freedom boogie.<br />
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Entry # 1785<br />
<u><b>Soul Searching</b></u><br />
Every night while I sleep, I hear my grandpa and it makes me sad because I can't see him. When I think about him I want to cry, but for some reason, I just can’t. Two nights ago I heard his voice and I couldn't say anything. It hurts. Last night I felt his hand on my shoulder and he said, "Don't worry, I'll always be proud of you. I love you grandson." I can't see him and it makes me depressed. I don't talk about it to certain people in my family. The ones I do talk to cheer me up by saying "You know he's proud of you." I really wish I could see him again. I look up to my grandpa because he was always helping me when I was working on cars. I would do anything to have him back. My family is leaving me and I can't do anything about it, but sometimes I feel like I can. Some nights I can see him sitting next to me. I wish I could have I'm back. I want to have my grandpa see me succeed. I wanted him to know I'm going to be something, instead of being on the run all the time. One time my grandpa lectured me that I'm not going to succeed in life if I keep doing bad stuff, but I’ll take the steps to go to college. I know he was just saying that so I would stay in school. When I think of him it reminds me of when I was fourteen having fun playing games. Now he's gone and I want to do something with my life. I want to talk to my family about how I feel, but I don't think they would understand.<br />
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Entry #1786<br />
<u><b>Did I Lose Hope?</b></u><br />
I'm locked up, well maybe I'm locked down. No actually I'm locked in.<br />
I'm locked in, so I'm slowly going crazy…partially because I can't smoke.<br />
Another factor in my slowly going crazy is the way my lady took away my daughter and took away my hope.<br />
I feel like I'm drowning in this water, throw a rope<br />
They say do you need bob barker soap? Nope<br />
Maybe God made me crazy maybe I don't have a baby<br />
Maybe I ain't even locked in, maybe I work at seven eleven and I'm just bored<br />
Maybe I'm an underwater welder<br />
Woah<br />
<br />
Entry #1787<br />
<u><b>Where I Am From</b></u><br />
I am from a lot of gang violence…I stole so many cars, I don’t know when I’ll get my license.<br />
I am from a dysfunctional family…I stay riding with the homie.<br />
I am from juvie…I hate waking up at six to do P.T.<br />
I am from the tattoo on my arm…that lady saves me from all harm.<br />
I am from the trenches…the courts call me a menace.<br />
I am from a crack head…I’m surprised he’s in jail and not dead.<br />
I am from an abusive relationship…he tries to control me like he’s my pimp.<br />
I am from the rainbow… girls love when I tango.<br />
I am from a beautiful race…my people come from a beautiful place.<br />
I am from a broken heart…I feel like everything in my life is falling apart.<br />
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Entry #1788<br />
<u><b>Birthdays</b></u><br />
I’m locked up and it’s my birthday<br />
I’m locked up so I can’t tell my regular teacher “happy birthday.”<br />
I’m locked up so I can’t see my friends<br />
I’m locked up so I can’t see my dad or my mom<br />
I’m locked up so I can’t see my twin brother, my little sister, my little brother or my grandma<br />
I’m locked up so I can’t play my favorite video game<br />
I hope I’m out for my next birthday, but I’m locked up.<br />
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Entry # 1789<br />
<u><b>On the Verge of Change</b></u><br />
I am locked up so I let everybody down.<br />
I am locked up so I left my Ma in tears.<br />
I am locked up for letting my anger get in control of me.<br />
I am locked up for turning myself in.<br />
I am locked up for doing the right thing.<br />
But I will be locked up for a short amount of time.<br />
I am locked up so I don't know if I have a kid on the way but when this is all over with I will be there for my girl and our child.<br />
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Entry #1790<br />
<u><b>Freedom</b></u><br />
I failed to comply with my probation officer before I was locked up the first time. I had no choice but to get sober. So, when I got out I had the choice to stay sober or start using again. I chose to start using again and out of the blue my P.O. started drug testing me after about five months. Because I wasn’t being tested at all I started using every day. It never occurred to me that I was failing at my opportunity for freedom.<br />
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Entry #1791<br />
<u><b>Dedication</b></u><br />
"Your lack of dedication is an insult to those who believe in you."<br />
This quote means a lot to me because in my life there have been many people that saw potential and believed in me. However, I blew it all off; I did what I wanted and did not care. I never realized how bad I hurt people and made them feel because I was selfish. Now that I have matured and understand things in a different way, I know that these people have, from the very beginning, only wanted what was best for me and for me to be successful. The only way this could happen was if I began to change and wanted help. I needed to be dedicated, which is what I have become. This was not easy for me because of the situations that I have been in and because of the way I was thinking and behaving. I now want to graduate and be certified in welding. I want to be a role model for my siblings and those who share my experiences. I want to be a leader and show people there are improved things for everyone. I just have to be dedicated and want it bad enough.<br />
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Entry #1792<br />
<u><b>I’ve Got Plans</b></u><br />
<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>It is 2019. I'm leaving this chapter of my life in the past, and moving onto the next. I'm going to graduate high school, get my certificate in welding, complete the 8-14 month program I'm in, and then start going to the junior college to get certified in being a heavy equipment operator. After that I’m going to find a good job and start saving money to eventually move down south and go to school to learn how to underwater weld. Once I start doing that I want to take the money I earn from welding and start investing into properties and flipping houses. By the time I'm 25 I'm going to be making 100,000+ a year, as long as I stick to my plan. Goodbye old me, I'm ready for what lies ahead.<br />
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Entry #1793<br />
<u><b>Before I Die</b></u><br />
My goals I would like to accomplish for the coming year are to be totally dedicated to my sobriety and get out of juvenile hall. My mother and I are in the same boat because we both have used the same drugs; therefore, we are both getting help to recover the physical and mental damage that was done to our bodies. I am currently in the juvenile hall's substance abuse unit and on the other hand, my mother is in a drug rehabilitation program to recover and get her kids back. I would love to graduate from high school and get a job to support my family right now and any future family I may have. To accomplish this goal, I would not only have to quit the drugs I used to do, I would also have to leave my past behind me and start fresh to find success. Before I die, I want to prove to myself and others that believed in me growing up that I would make something out of myself.<br />
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Entry #1794<br />
<u><b>Resolutions</b></u><br />
<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>My goals for this upcoming 2019 year…are that I want to touchdown from the cell… basically, get out of confinement. When I get home, it leads me to another one of my goals, keeping to myself and staying out of the way. Also, do something productive, participating in extracurricular activities.<br />
<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>For the whole year, I just want to get off probation and keep the heat off me; I also want my relationship with my mom to be better. I want to volunteer at a work place, and then actually work there. Saving my money is another goal for me. I am growing up fast and I am going to be seventeen this year and I need to start doing things differently, changing thoughts and becoming more mature. I realize that I have to do this because no one is going to tell me what to do. In other words, I have to do this on my own.<br />
<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>This is a very happy new year and it is starting very well. I will try to be a brand, new person. I hope this resolution works out for me.<br />
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Entry # 1795<br />
<u><b>So</b></u><br />
I'm locked up so no cigarettes<br />
I'm locked up so no girlfriend<br />
I'm locked up so no family<br />
I'm locked up so no friends<br />
I'm locked up so no fun<br />
I'm locked up so no phone<br />
I'm locked up so no good food<br />
I'm locked up so no long showers<br />
I'm locked up so no sleeping in<br />
I'm locked up so no getting up without permission<br />
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Entry #1796<br />
<u><b>Transition</b></u><br />
Goodbye 2018. A lot of things I’m going to miss from 2018, such as certain friends, family, and pets. But also I’m glad to leave certain things in the past, such as the doubters, the people who tried to hurt me, anything that I learned a lesson from in 2018. 2018 was an awkward year, but I learned from it from now on – it’s goodbye 2018 and hello 2019!<br />
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Entry #1797<br />
<u><b>Furloughs</b></u><br />
My goals for the coming year are simple: get a job, be a good dad, and graduate from high school. My long term goal is a big house in the forest in North Dakota or Canada. The reason I want to live in a big open forest is that it is so peaceful and quiet. You can hear, smell, and see nature all around you.<br />
My one-year goal is to get out and try to find a job and get money to take care of my daughter. My short-term three-month goal is to graduate and get furloughs. The reason I need a job and to get out is because I have a little girl, five months old. She does not know who I am but I know who she is and what she can become. I have never seen her but I do have pictures. They are not the same, but until I get furloughs they’re all I have.<br />
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Entry #1798<br />
<u><b>Lesson Learned</b></u><br />
I am locked up so they can supposedly make me successful in the future. But how can I be successful if I'm locked up? I don't understand their way of doing things just like they don't understand my life. I wish to do my best in the outside world, but they're not giving me the chance I asked for. They will realize I could have done it once I show them, after my time is up, by not seeing them in here again. The result would have been the same as if they gave me the chance, the result is not coming back. I have learned my lesson, but I am locked up.<br />
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Entry #1799<br />
<u><b>My Plan</b></u><br />
I believe my biggest failure is being in juvenile hall. I'm missing out on so much on the outside and I'm not with my siblings being their big sister. What I can do different is not use drugs when I get out. While I am here, I can complete the program doing what I need to do in the hall in order to stay out of trouble on the outside. I am going to need my drug program staff to help me work on my problems. The program can help me with my addictions and my anger issues.<br />
Something I can also work on is my stealing issues when I was on the outside. I can also stop hanging out with the wrong people, so I won't think about doing the wrong things. I also have another big failure; it is not giving my mom a second chance. My mom was in prison for five years. She got out and I didn't want to talk to her or see her. Now I have thought hard about it and she is doing much better now, I need to give her one more chance so she can try to have her kids back and be a mom for us. Something I can do is not follow in her footsteps and help her do good, which means I need to do good for us all to be a family again.<br />
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Entry # 1800<br />
<u><b>Waiting to Thrive</b></u><br />
I am locked up so, I can't follow my dream of BMX. I can't spend time with my sister or with my family. I am locked up so, I can't eat the food I want but the food here is pretty good. I am locked up so, I'm sober and in the best shape I have ever been in. I'm locked up so, I can't hang out with my friends but the people in here are pretty cool to hang with. I am locked up so, I can't use my phone or listen to music when I want and I thrive when I listen to music. I am locked up so, I can't be with women or go on the fun adventures I do with my friends. I am locked up so, I can't sleep until 12 o'clock on the weekends like usual. I can't just hop on my bike and ride somewhere and explore. I wish I could be out following my dreams, but I am locked up.<br />
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Entry #1801<br />
<u><b>Goals</b></u><br />
My goals for the coming year start by finishing my time here in juvenile hall. Once I get out, I want to go back to school and graduate. In addition, I want to finish probation and get a job. Then once I get money, I would like to buy a car. Then, I would like to spend all the time I missed being locked up with my family. Another goal is to not be locked up anymore and be a good person. In addition, I would like to accomplish all these things and make my mom happy, showing her that I am going to change for the better.<br />
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Entry #1802<br />
<u><b>Learning</b></u><br />
Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve seen a lot of things. I’ve done grown up even at the age of 15. I’ve been locked up in my soul and in the hall. I’ve let my family down, not knowing what I was doing. My mind is not secure where it’s at. It’s not what I should be pursuing. I want to change, but the enemy is pursuing me – my mind, my heart, and my physical feelings. I’ve been through a lot, but it seems I can’t let it go, Lord, I’ve been branded. Everyone says I need to let it go, step in my shoes and you won’t be able to go how far I go. They say the Lord has forgiven me, but he’s not even feeling me. They say he’s within me, but when I take a look inside I feel so empty. I try to hang on to my family because when they’re gone, I’ll feel nothing. I know that money ain’t a thing. I try to live a life that I haven’t, not being static, learning from mistakes. They aren’t my definement.<br />
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Entry # 1803<br />
<u><b>Dad’s Tattoos</b></u><br />
When I was younger, I was always around my dad. My dad and I were two crazy people. So was my older brother. I used to always look at my dad’s cool tattoos he had on him. There was this one on his arm: it was a female and another one about our neighborhood. The female actually looked cute and bad, but I think it was because she was naked. My dad told me he got it in prison, but it sure didn’t look like a prison tattoo. It actually looked professional. As I got older, I didn’t really see my dad and one day he was gone. Not gone like dead but gone like away. I would talk to him on the phone but nothing more or nothing less. So I always thought about him and his tattoos. It made me want to get the same tattoos because that was my dad and we was hella cool. One day I ended up thinking about it and hit up one of my boys and told him I was ready. So that was the day I started getting inked up and got some things just like my dad.<br />
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Entry #1804<br />
<u><b>Music, Clothes, and Home</b></u><br />
I’m locked up so I can’t go home<br />
I can’t go home<br />
I wanna go home<br />
But I’m locked up<br />
<br />
I’m locked up so<br />
I can’t buy Bape<br />
I want to buy new clothes<br />
But I’m locked up<br />
<br />
I’m locked up so<br />
I can’t listen to music<br />
I want my music<br />
But I’m locked up.<br />
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Entry #1805<br />
<b><u>The Plan</u></b><br />
I am locked up, so I am going to behave in here and go to school every day. I am going to do my time here in juvie and try to catch up on school. In addition, I am going to try to graduate in here so when I get out, I can get a job and be on my toes. Since I am locked up, I can learn my lesson so I will not mess up when I am out of here. However, I am locked up and I am going to try to go on furloughs and see my family and eat some good food. Another thing is I am going to try to get early release so I can get out of here faster. This is my plan.<br />
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<br />chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-51016425167515440752018-12-21T09:43:00.000-08:002018-12-21T10:59:28.473-08:00<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1763</span><br />
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">The Camp Fire<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I woke up November 8th and all I could see was red in the sky. I
thought it was all a dream. Next thing I know my parents are loading up the
truck, talking about how we might not make it that far because the gas station
is running out of gas and there was a mile long line. Me, being a criminal, I
went to my neighbors and kicked down his garage side door and found two red
cans full of gas. I thought it was going to be the end of the world. It took us
hours to get away from it because there was thousands of cars going 10 mph on
highway 32. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Prior to the fire I worked so hard to get a good job and kick a
really bad drug habit. I was doing so good after catching three major felonies.
After the evacuation my family was staying in a small two bedroom apartment
with 9 of us. Not only did it hurt your soul, it hurt your eyes also. I saw the
devastation on Facebook. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I couldn't bear it. I went and got a crank pipe to feel better.
Then my family was really upset, and I couldn't help but say, "**** it."
Everything I worked hard for was gone. Now I'm sitting here incarcerated and
it's driving me crazy not being able to help my family and hometown. My family
lost a lot. The last thing they needed was to lose me to the system again. I
loved Paradise so much. Just before the fire I was riding from one end of it to
the other back and forth from work. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1764<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">BUTTE STRONG<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">The camp
fire has my mama’s crib looking like an ashtray and all our prized possessions
looking like the butt ends of some Cubans that were all smoked way past the
ideal limit of what is a finished cigar. On top of the ash, twisted metal, and
my bed, it rained. So now the ashtray that was once my fishing poles, my mom’s
teapots, my brothers toys and my dad’s small trinkets which held many of our
dearest memories, looks like the land fill off of 99 on a rainy day. The fire
itself was the destruction of our home, but the effects have brought my family
closer together than we have ever been. It's hard to be optimistic at times
like these, but we're all safe now. Moving forward.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1765<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Changes</span></u></b><b><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I was once a good
girl who would go to school and listen to my parents and go to church.<u><o:p></o:p></u></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember my mom
taking me to preschool and telling me she loves me and she will be back to pick
me up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I heard she crashed
and was in the hospital and wouldn’t be able to come home for a while.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I heard we couldn’t
go see her because we would not recognize her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I saw all my family
crying and praying which just made me feel something bad was happening.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I worried that we
wouldn’t have a mother anymore...no one to care for us anymore.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I thought about my
mom and how she was doing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I thought about
where my life was heading.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I want to change
everything.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I was still going
to school and I basically thought that if I was behaving good, my mom would get
better and come back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I would think that
God didn’t like me and my siblings and just wanted to break my family apart
making me not like the world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I needed to see
Mom. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I wanted to talk to
her and know what was happening to her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I tried to help
with chores, thinking that my aunt would let me see my mother.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I felt angry, sad
because Mom wasn’t with me and for what God was allowing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">If God gave me back
my mom, I would forgive Him and listen to my mom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Now that I know
what really happened to my mom my family told me she is watching from above.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I will make her
proud and be there for my daughter just like she was there for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I choose to become
a better person and to get an education.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I dream of seeing
my mom again and being with family again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My hope is to be
the best mother I can be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I predict that I
will be a good provider for my daughter and family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I know I will make
Mom happy...I will change.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1766<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Grown Up<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">This will be my first Christmas I miss with my family. The worst part is
knowing I won't be coming home to spend any holidays anytime soon. </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">The judge just sentenced me 7 and a half years. I won't be able to see my
lil princess grow up to become a beautiful woman. She will be 11 years old when
I’m out, 11 years of age and most of her life I will not have been there to
support her. I won't be there to see her open her presents on Christmas. Most of all she won’t have her father to go
to when she needs me. This, I believe, is my wake up call to make better
choices, so I can be there for my family and my daughter. I want to see my Lil’
Princess graduate and do what she wants to do in life. Most of all I want to
see her succeed in life and be better than her father.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">1767</span><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Things That Make Me Who I Am<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">No matter how tired
I am, I always wake up in the morning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">One of my guilty
pleasures is sugar and candy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I wish I was the
kind of person to always follow through.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">At a new
restaurant, it takes me a long time to order something to eat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am creative, but
sometimes I lose my train of thought. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I have no other
older siblings.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I worry that
someone I love will die.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I love the word
Capricorn because I feel it helps define me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am a
sixteen-year-old female.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">In my dreams, I can
fly wherever I wish.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I watch TV with my
son and my sisters.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I have been known
to be unpredictable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I agree to go to
college in the future.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I like when it’s
raining outside.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Mexican food is
bomb.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am not a meat
eater.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I will not break
the law anymore.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I almost always
wish I was home with my family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am very
independent. I have been that way since I was smaller.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">The only thing
irreplaceable is family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I rely on my mom to
care for me and my son.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am good at some
sports and drawing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I enjoy spending
time with my loved ones.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I have a brother
and three sisters.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I like going to
Jamba Juice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am a vegetarian.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I believe in love
rather than resorting to discipline.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I hum when I am
bored or happy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I like to sleep and
watch movies.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I like to bake with
my sister.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I think everyone
should eat less meat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am the oldest of
four kids.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I don’t like to
play football.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I love to watch
movies with family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My favorite movie
snack is any kind of candy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I love when I get
to visit my siblings.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I cry when I get
super mad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I absolutely love
having a baby boy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I will never leave
a mark on my child.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I have a lot of
family members that are Capricorns.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I don’t like hairy
spiders.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I prefer to sleep
all day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I judge people who
I dislike.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I have a low
tolerance for bratty girls.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry#1768<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My Grandpa<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">When I was
14 years old my grandpa got me a four foot teddy bear for Christmas. I miss
him. When I was 16 he told me to come live at his place. Maybe a week or so
later he took me to work with him. While he was working he got hurt and yelled for
me. I stopped working and ran over to him. I asked, "What happened?"
He told me, "Shut up, grab the keys, and drive me to the hospital."
The doctor eventually came out and told me he had a broken leg. Two hours later
my grandpa came out and we left. One year later on June 9th my grandpa quit
working, so I kept his job. About three months later my grandpa died. It's a
tragedy because he was the only one there for me pretty much my whole life. I
started going downhill, started getting locked up. But soon enough, I got out
and went to placement for a year. When I returned, the construction site boss
recognized me and hired me again. I’m
locked up yet again, but I plan to return to my grandpa’s old job as soon as I
get out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1769<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Sweet Sixteen<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Looking at
the cold brick walls. My first time in Juvie was for less than 24 hours. This
time I'm going to be locking for three to six months. As I was growing up I
always dreamed about my sixteen birthday actually being like one on movies, a
sweet sixteen. I didn't get to experience any kind of fun on my birthday. I had
gotten locked up 2 days before. I spent my birthday, family birthdays, Halloween
(one of my favorite days of the year), Thanksgiving, and now Christmas, locked
up. I miss regular high school, more opportunities, school dances. In here you
are stuck between the white booger smeared walls. I’m around the same people
who just continue to talk about the same stuff and make up things to make the
time here more interesting. There aren’t too many girls, so of course, we're
the talk of the hall. I never thought I would hate this place so much, but I do.
I want to leave and never come back again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">1770</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Change </span></u></b><b><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I was a human
grenade.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember throwing
my life down the drain.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I heard it will
never be the same, you just have to be numb to the pain.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I saw a lot of
friends change.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I worried about the
things my family would say.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I thought there was
no better way.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But I want to
change…</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am improving even
though I think the world around me is so confusing.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I need to keep persuing.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I try to keep
improving even though I feel like keeping it moving.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I forgive those who
didn’t choose me.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Now I can change…</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I will let all the
stress go because I choose to be successful.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I have dreams of me
in a Lambo, I hope things go as planned though.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I predict I will
change…</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I know I will
change…</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4ZCOss2VeSA-08ikFUT9t-DqAFGLw9qzhHh0NyuJdTr7CekI4yxgC0OX3Foreryob-y4DbA7bGSj_FGwvjcKbdgOrwSHbsSgAB2yIDnzmi4Wj1rV7_do5cbnTF4TBeskvhA0NGzwZtSFg/s1600/Write+or+wrong.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="260" data-original-width="519" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4ZCOss2VeSA-08ikFUT9t-DqAFGLw9qzhHh0NyuJdTr7CekI4yxgC0OX3Foreryob-y4DbA7bGSj_FGwvjcKbdgOrwSHbsSgAB2yIDnzmi4Wj1rV7_do5cbnTF4TBeskvhA0NGzwZtSFg/s320/Write+or+wrong.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1771<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Keeping It on Track<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I'm going to
be home for Christmas but just barely in time. Everyone from my family comes
and we celebrate, so I can't imagine not being there. It's crazy to think
about. They weren't going to let me out for Christmas. The only reason they let
me out was I did my best to stay away from any trouble or anything that would
get me to not leave and I just barely get too leave on 12-21-18 with one of my
buddies. We’re both going to be home for
the holidays and going to saver the fresh air of freedom. We’re going to keep it on track. I never want
to come back here. It's not me and I don't want to be that person ever. It's
not how I see or feel my life will go. I'm going to high school and getting my
life straight for my parents, my friends, and most important for myself. I
don't care what other people think about me. I'm me and doing my own thing and
not going to let other people interfere with my program, my life style, nor my
family. I promise you that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1772<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">All Over Again<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Being locked
up for the holidays sucks. I've been in Juvie for almost 4 months, and got a
few more months to go. It isn't long compared to others though. I'm not
complaining how long I've been or how long I’m going to stay. I just hate not
being with my family on the holidays. It's my fifth or sixth time here and I'm so
done with this place. I used to not mind it at all, just now with the pods
coming together, with all the kids here, it's just so much drama. More than a
regular high school! You're probably thinking, "No that's not true,"
because a regular high school has more than 1,000 kids so there must be more
drama, but when people/kids are locked up for a long period of time they like
to make shit up, spread rumors. It gets boring seeing the same stained, old,
brick walls every day. And seeing the same people every day gets tiring. It's
almost like sitting in the same room as your best friend for too many hours.
You'll start arguing over little things, but instead of your best friend, it's
everyone in the pod. I've been in here for Thanksgiving, my dad’s birthday, my
sister’s, and also my best friend’s birthday… and now probably Christmas.
Halloween too, I guess, but that's not a holiday. I just hope when I get out I
don't I don't go back to doing the same ****, so I don't have to repeat this
all over again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1773<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Stressing<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I would love
to get out for Christmas, to spend time with my family, but I am locked up and
that puts a toll on me. Usually we have all my family come over for Christmas
and we spend time together. This is my 7th time being locked up and I’m getting
tired. I really want to change my ways because I’m stressing my mother out and
that's not a good thing. She worries a lot about me and today I want to change
for her. I want to change for my nephew because when he’s older I don't want to
tell him I’m locked up. It is sad to think about not being with him when he’s
growing up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">1774</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Identity Poem</span></u></b><b><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">No matter how tired
I am, I still get back up and try again.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">One of my favorite
guilty pleasures is washing my hair every day.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I wish I was the
kind of person that was perfect.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">At a new restaurant
it takes me a long time to order my meal because there are so many decisions.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m creative, but I
don’t like art.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I have no problem
doing P.E.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I worry that I
won’t go back to foster care.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m religious but I
don’t go to church every day.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">A cute, classy
outfit can be just right for me.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I love the word
“candy”.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m a beautiful
young lady.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">In my dreams I want
to be rich.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I watch TV with my
nephew.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I don’t like
watching TV when I’m sleepy.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I have been known
to sing, dance and rap.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I want to succeed.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I like money.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Mexican cuisine is
my favorite food.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am not a vegan.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I will not let
anyone use me anymore.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I wish I had a
family; the only thing irreplaceable is my family.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I rely on my
nephew.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am good at
sports.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I enjoy every
second of my life.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Money has been a
pleasure to me.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My favorite things
about me are that I’m black and I have a lot of hair.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I don’t like my
attitude.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I don’t like it
when people tell me what to do.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I have a nice
personality, but I like to mess with people.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I believe in God.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I hum when I am
mad.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I like to play
basketball.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I like to argue
with people.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m nice when I
want to be.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I don’t like to
play soccer.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I love to play with
my nephew and feed him his baby food.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My favorite movie
snack is skittles and chips.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I love the movie
“Media Boo 2”.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I cry when I am
sad.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I hate people that
always think they know what they are talking about.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Rather than going
to juvenile hall, I like being home.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I will never listen
to country music.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I have one sister
that cares about me.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I don’t like my mom
or dad.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Twenty-one is the
age to be because you can do what you want.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">The worst job I
could have is probation officer.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I have no tolerance
for people who get on my nerves and talk too much.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1775<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Rest in Peace <o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">March 16
2016, I was sitting in my room wondering what I was going to do. My friend
called me up saying there's a party and he’d pick me up about 10pm. 9pm I got
dressed. An hour later my friend called saying he was pulling up so I headed
outside and got into the car. When we got to the party my friend threw me a gun.
I tucked it in my waist band before I got out the car. The party was cracking
with music blasting and people dancing and drinking and having a good time. Me
and my friend were drinking quite a bit. He told me he was going to go outside
to get some air, so I stayed inside. About a half hour later, I noticed my
friend never came back. I called some of my other friends and told them what
was happening. I know that he didn't leave because I had his car keys. I walked
up and down the street but found no sign of him. I started heading back to the
party I noticed a body lying on the ground and two people were running the
other way. I took out the gun. My friend
said something. I bent down and told him
to stay with me. I tried to stop the bleeding. My friend said something. I bent
down to hear what he was saying. He told me not to tell his son. Soon he was
gone. Tears started rolling down my face. I went home with blood on my hands,
my shoes, and my pants and shirt. Five days later, I walked to his casket. I
wanted to say something, anything, but all I could get out was, “Rest in peace.”
This is the hardest thing I have ever been trough in my life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1776<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Fork in the Road<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">This is my
first Christmas away from my grandma and brother. To make matters worse it's my
6-month old daughter’s first Christmas and I can't be there for her. Sadness
overwhelms me. I want to cry but I can't. The tears won't shed, only layers of
my heart do. I got a 15 year sentence. What can I do? The feeling of a ton on
my shoulders wears me down but I won't break. I chose my path and went head
first. Is this destiny or is this a message for a better future? My mind and
heart want two different live's for me and you don't want know who I'm agreeing
with more. One day I hope I come to my senses. One day I hope to walk my
daughter down the aisle and maybe stare down her prom date. I will do anything
to get to this point. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1777<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Locked Up<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">It's been
nine months and I've missed every Holliday from Easter to Thanksgiving. I've
missed six family birthdays and my family has missed one of mine. But all of
this is not as bad as missing Christmas. I know I won't be home for Christmas
and my family will miss me. I'm going to miss Christmas dinner and my siblings
jumping on me to wake me up in the morning to open presents. It's hard on my
family, but I'm not going to be gone forever. I'll still be able to see the
little ones and the ones I love on the holiday visits, so they don't forget
about me. I know that I'll be home soon and won't miss too many more holidays. I'm
not worried and I'll still be able to see them grow and become adults as long
as I do what I know I have to do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-87688204592631084252018-10-25T11:43:00.000-07:002018-10-26T09:08:35.824-07:00<strong><u>For the most part, the Writing Exchange consists of self reflective writing and personal insights along with an open forum for incarcerated youth to vent about issues they are dealing with. Once or twice a year, we try to shake it up a bit. This month, students tried their hand at writing Flash Fiction. The fictional stories had to be EXACTLY 59 words...not one over or under! Here is what they came up with:</u></strong><br />
<br />
Entry #1742<br />
A Walk in the Park<br />
It was Friday and Chase was wandering around the city. He saw some suits eyeing him from a vehicle. He started to walk faster, but he knew they would eventually catch up. Praying in his head, he heard the car close behind. Stopping to pee on a fire hydrant, he saw they were only there to clean a pool.<br />
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Entry #1743<br />
Free Falling<br />
“What should I be doing right now…I can’t remember,” Tobin thought aloud. “I know I’m missing something man, what could it possibly be?” He was falling at spine splitting speed. “Has my mind failed me?” Tobin pondered for a second, the cord dangling unbothered from his parachute. “Did I forget to brush my teeth? That must be it.”<br />
<br />
Entry #1744<br />
Time<br />
Selena's begging, screaming, asking for more. She's running, trying to keep up, but the closer she gets the farther behind she realizes she is. She asks "Will you slow track if I change or can you backtrack if I promise not to be the same?" She's tired of trying. Still she keeps crying, simply asking for more time.<br />
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Entry #1745<br />
Coma<br />
John's 15th birthday is today. His parents bought him a 1971 Camaro. He took it out on a spin, topping out at 150 and slamming into a truck carrying toxic waste. John woke to find himself in Area 51 with the abilities of Superman. While his parents are grieving, he's out fighting the bad guys and saving the world.<br />
<br />
Entry #1746<br />
What Did I Do?<br />
Anthony booked it from the red and blue, into a pitch black alleyway where he realized it was a dead end. Trapped at a brick wall, Anthony had no idea why he was running, but this was increasingly familiar. He looked back, the light and siren getting closer. As they drove past, Anthony was shocked by his good fortune.<br />
<br />
Entry #1747<br />
Cookie Crumble<br />
Bob ran away from his house after stealing five cookies out of the living room. When he returned, the door was locked and he was imagining his miserable punishment. While begging his mom to open the door, he promised not do it again. When she answered, she said, “You could have just asked,” and she handed him an Oreo.<br />
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Entry #1748<br />
Gravity<br />
For 17 years I've waited to hit the distillery; I'm still fermenting. I feel as if the world just wants to stop my shine. I'm the moon, you'll never see my dark side. I'm talkin' real talk with them moon rocks. This is surreal fiction with a vision. People can't breathe around me because I have no atmosphere. Moon$hine.<br />
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Entry #1749<br />
Mom’s Hungry<br />
I grew up in a place where nobody could even think of being. I wondered if I would make it out alive. One day, while driving, I spotted a black bag on the street corner. I stopped the car and found more than a million dollars inside. Life changed: I bought a house for my momma and some pancakes.<br />
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Entry #1750<br />
Skate to Eight<br />
Sashaying down the avenues, the youngster stopped his stroll to scope out two original gangsters in a desolate alley. He approached them with a few bucks in one hand, and a pair of dice in the other. Shaking their heads in disapproval, the O.G.’s decided to lace the youngster up and teach him the game of the mind…Scrabble.<br />
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Entry #1751<br />
Drifting Off Into the Unexplainable<br />
As he drifted off into a never ending oblivion, Johnny was staring into a pool full of gummy sharks. Mouth watering and stomach rumbling he jumped right in. He tried to take as many bites as he could before they swallowed him into their dark blue and white abyss. He thought that they killed him. His alarm thought different.<br />
<br />
Entry #1752<br />
Addiction<br />
Wanting a better life for himself, Jacob threw his last cigarette into the trash. A couple days later he was having a bad day. He thought he had will power but didn’t know will power had him. He swore to never touch another cigarette in his life. That was until his best friend’s sadness and addiction came back home.<br />
<br />
And some non-fiction…..<br />
<br />
Entry #1753<br />
If You Really Knew Me!<br />
If you really know me, you would know I fake my smile to hide my pain.<br />
you would know I fear death after seeing my cousin die in front of me.<br />
If you really knew me, you would know I draw when I feel sad or mad.<br />
you would know I chose to grow up fast because I was tired of seeing my parents struggle to keep our house.<br />
If you really knew me, you would know the reason I do not let anyone stand behind me is because I was in an abusive relationship.<br />
If you really knew me, you would know I am barely an 18 year old girl.<br />
you would know I dropped out of school my freshman year because I didn’t have money to buy new clothes like everyone else.<br />
If you really knew me, you would know I use drugs to make me feel happy and like there is no worries in the world.<br />
If you really knew me, you would know that I blame myself for everything my parents are going through in life.<br />
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Entry #1754<br />
Crazy<br />
If you knew me, you would know I was crazy in my head.<br />
you would know my brother passed away.<br />
If you knew me, you would know my grandma was very sick and recently passed away.<br />
If you knew me, you would know I saw my mother being abused as I grew up.<br />
You would know I worry that my little brother will follow in my footsteps.<br />
If you knew me, you would know that I want to change.<br />
You would know I am a solid individual.<br />
If you knew me, you would know I do not think before I react.<br />
You would know that I am constantly angry.<br />
You would know I jump straight to a conclusion.<br />
If you knew me, you would know I forgive my parents.<br />
You would know I have changed.<br />
You would know I have to prove others wrong that thought the worst of me.<br />
If you knew me, you would know I choose to be the best father to my daughter, best brother to all my siblings, and be the best son for my parents.<br />
If you knew me, you would know that I dream of taking care of my family, and making a life with a lot of money.<br />
You would know that I hope not to return into custody.<br />
If you knew me, you would know that I could do anything I want if I put my mind to it!<br />
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Entry #1755<br />
Beyond Me<br />
If you really knew me, you would know I’m proud. That the hardest thing I ever did was give people second chances. One piece of good news from my life this week is finding out how much support I have from not only family but friends too. My relationship with my family is all gooda gooda. My biggest dream is to be free so I can kick it with my family and girlfriend. The person I feel closest to is my stepmom and pops because they’re my best friends. If I could have anything, it would be money to see my family, my girl and friends again. The funniest thing I remember is my lil’ brother flyin’ down the stairs in a laundry basket. My biggest fear is losing a close person. I’ll give anything to see my pops smile. I believe in freedom, Now I can change. I plan to get a job and support the ones that supported me. I will choose not to hang out with people that caused trouble for me. I dream that one day I will put my pops in a fat house with a nice car and to put me and my female in the same. I know my dream is going to come true ‘cause I’ll work hard. If you knew me, then you would know. “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, watch how long you live.” -G.D.<br />
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Entry #1756<br />
Fighting and Trust<br />
If you really know me, you would know I get mad and irritated fast.<br />
you would know I like to fight.<br />
If you really know me, you would know I like to learn new things.<br />
If you really know me, you would know I don’t like people that talk shit.<br />
If you really know me, you would know I can’t read a lot.<br />
you would know I get distracted fast.<br />
If you really know me, you would know I like to talk a lot.<br />
you would know I am trustworthy.<br />
If you really know me, you would know I am faithful.<br />
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Entry #1757<br />
When They Don’t Listen<br />
When these people don’t listen, it changes you inside<br />
When these people don’t listen, there’s no where you can hide<br />
When these people don’t listen<br />
When these people don’t listen, I’m angry with foam hissin’<br />
Rocks hittin’, goin’ back to the days I was broke eatin’ boiled chicken<br />
When these people don’t listen, it’s a mission<br />
To tuck yourself and stay in control<br />
To sit there and have them think you’re bold<br />
To tell them you’re hot but inside you’re cold<br />
When these people don’t listen, the haunts of what’s untrue come chasin’ you<br />
You try to be cool but everyone’s hatin’ you<br />
And the anger gets to takin’ you to a place you know no one has faith in you<br />
When these people don’t listen, it’s hard to decide<br />
Whether you should live or whether you should die<br />
If you should smile or if you should cry<br />
Until you can, all you can do is sigh<br />
When these people don’t listen, it’s hard to know about reality in the heat<br />
To tell what truly happened when I was getting’ beat<br />
Or when me and my siblings had nothing to eat<br />
When these people don’t listen, it has emotions flippin’<br />
Thinkin’ about my drug addict mom and my dad in prison<br />
About my long lost family that’s gone and missin’<br />
To think to stay strong or if I should give in<br />
When these people don’t listen, you can’t make you mind up to scream or yell until your lungs bust<br />
Whether it’s like or hat or just knowin’<br />
If they’re real or fakes leaves ya mood bummed<br />
When these people don’t listen, it’s a nightmare instead of a dream<br />
You have no future and your life has no meaning<br />
You have no family, you have nothing<br />
You aren’t a person; you’re just something<br />
When these people don’t listen, they give you “dirty stares”<br />
Stress you out completely ‘till you have no hair<br />
They start to rip you then leave you in a tear<br />
When these people don’t listen, I know they don’t care<br />
<br />
But when these people do listen, you see me happy<br />
Have other people laughing and negativity crashing<br />
When these people do listen, I’m thankful in every way<br />
You can talk to me and make my anger go away<br />
When you listen, just know you make my day<br />
When you listen, I just pray you stay<br />
When you listen<br />
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Entry #1758<br />
Pine Trees<br />
If you really knew me, you would know I love the open forest.<br />
You would know I like peace and quiet.<br />
If you really knew me, you would know I do not like people.<br />
You would know I like fishing.<br />
If you really knew me, you would know my favorite thing to do is ride dirt bikes.<br />
You would know I like to listen to music as much as possible.<br />
You would know I hate big crowds.<br />
If you really knew me, you would know I keep to myself as much as possible.<br />
<br />
Entry #1759<br />
Money and Anger<br />
If you really knew me you would know this is my fourth time in juvenile hall.<br />
You should know this isn’t nothing.<br />
If you really knew me you would know that I really love money.<br />
You should know it makes me feel lovely.<br />
If you really knew me you would know I get out in a year.<br />
You should know I did something wrong to get here.<br />
If you really knew me you would know I think about my brothers and sisters every day.<br />
You would know I’m the fourth oldest.<br />
If you really knew me you would know this my last time in juvenile hall.<br />
You should know I’m going to change my ways.<br />
If you really knew me you would know I get angry fast.<br />
You should know it just happens.<br />
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Entry #1760<br />
LOUD<br />
If you really knew me, you would know I lost my dad when I was 13.<br />
you would knew I get very emotional and depressed a lot.<br />
you would knew I am very impatient.<br />
If you really knew me, you would know I like to laugh way too much.<br />
you would knew I do NOT like being around loud people even though I am loud myself.<br />
If you really knew me, you would know I am always talking about my sisters.<br />
you would knew I have two brothers and three sisters.<br />
If you really knew me, you would know I do NOT like math.<br />
If you really knew me, you would know I keep my circle small.<br />
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Entry #1761<br />
Jinx Blackout<br />
While in custody at the juvenile hall, I was sentence to 365 days. I was released November 27 of last year. I finished my 9-month sentence from February to November. Therefore, after I was released, I told myself I was not going back to the hall unless it was for a serious crime, so now I’ve jinxed myself.<br />
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Entry #1762<br />
Inhale Exhale<br />
I have been locked up for 90 days and I got 350 days left. I wake up every day and always think to myself I got one less day till I go home. Every day before I go to sleep I think to myself, if I wasn’t here where would I be? I wonder if I would still be breathing.<br />
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Entry #1763<br />
Stranger<br />
Everyday you're missed. You left so willingly. Replaced by this stranger who looks, walks, and talks like you, but she doesn't have the sparkle in her eyes the way you used to; doesn't think the way we do. It's crazy to think back to when you were me because when I look into the mirror it’s not you I see.<br />
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<br />chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-20063489794945284972018-09-19T11:09:00.000-07:002018-09-21T14:25:59.360-07:00<br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry # 1719</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Thoughts</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me
you would know this is my first time being in juvenile hall.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know I hate
being locked up.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really know me,
you would know I like to play basketball and football because they’re fast
sports.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know I used to
have a pit-bull and a boxer until I lost them: my boxer died and my pit got
stolen.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me,
you would know I pray every night before I go to sleep or anytime I eat.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know I like to
play fortnight on my free time.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know my fav
food is Takis and Cheetos.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really know me, y<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">ou would know when I
lay down in my pod I always get thoughts about my family.<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1720</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Tying Shoes</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Thing #1 you should know
about me is I have never had a felony charge.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Thing #2 the only dead
body I've ever seen is my best friend’s.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Thing #3 I have 13 other
siblings, 9 of which I know are alive.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Thing #4 you should know
about me is I have a brother I've never met before.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Thing #5 like a lot of
other people, I don't know my biological father.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Thing #6 I am not a
person who makes friends easily.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Thing #7 you should know
about me is I've never been to the ocean but I have been to India.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Thing #8 I have only
shot a gun 3 times and all in the same day.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Thing #9 it took me till
the 8th grade to learn how to tie my shoes.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Thing #10 you should
know about me is that to me there's a difference between friends and homies.
Friends are people that are there for you, watch your back, and stop you from
making dumb decisions. Homies are the ones you can party with, do stupid stuff
with, and they are also the ones you’re most likely to get in trouble with.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Entry
#1721</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">CHANGE! </span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I was
a poor kid growing up with family problems like most people I know. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I
remember the first time I went to a foster home I was just 3 years old. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I
heard people tell me I was never going to become anything in life. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I saw
drug use around me all the time growing up. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I
worried that I was going to end up just the same lost in life depending on
drugs to make me happy. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I
thought I was never going to use drugs. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">But,
I want to change. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I am
an 18-year-old girl and was a drug addict for 3 years. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I
think I am useless and that I will not get far in life. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I
need to finish school and do my time. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I try
to better myself each day I spend here in JJC. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I
feel sad having to be me and when I start to think of my family and how I let
them down. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I
forgive my family for not being perfect but they always tried so hard to give
me everything they could. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Now I
can change. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I
will finish school and graduate. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I
choose to stay sober once I get out. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I
dream of being able to buy my parents a house to take them out of our struggle.
</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I
hope I learn from my mistakes to show my parents I am better than who I use to
be. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I
predict I am going to have my downfalls because no one is perfect. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I
know I can accomplish my goals if I stay positive and strong for my family and myself.
</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I
will change.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1722</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Getting It Together</span></u></b></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me,
you would know I like to ride bmx bikes and hit dirt jumps. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">you would know I love
racing dirt bikes.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">you would know I'm smart
but hate homework.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me,
you would know I love animals. I have two dogs. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me,
you would know the main person in my life is my dad. He is like my best friend.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">you would know I want to
get my stuff together and get out of juvenile hall.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me,
you would know I want to go back to a regular high school and get my diploma.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1723</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If You Really Knew Me
Poem</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me,
you would know that I’m not bad.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me,
you would know that I’m sad for the things I once had.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I feel quite bad for the
way that I acted and feelings I brought</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But I know it will all
change from some good words with God up top.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1724</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Changed </span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I was once crazy in the
head. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I remember when my
brother passed. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I heard my great
grandma, who acted like my mother, was sick. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I saw my mother be
abused. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I worried that my little
brother followed in my footsteps. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I thought at times I
would rather be dead because I did not care. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But I want to change. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I am a solid individual.
</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I think before I react. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I need to watch my
anger. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I try not to jump to
conclusions right away. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I feel angry all the
time. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I forgive my parents for
everything. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Now I can change. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I will prove others
wrong who think that I’m only a screw up. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I choose to be the best
older brother to my siblings, be the best son to my parents, also the best
father to my daughter. </span><br />
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I </span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">dream to care for my
family and make the most money I can.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="WordSection6">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I hope to not return to
custody. I predict that I will accomplish my goals and succeed. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I know I can do anything
I put my mind to. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I will change. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDotGDNcwiXgdHPF8LHQdLzn8gJt-xFFhr8ID-kGXU57_80Ma5crrHl_pYGm8IfnFYOese6QqW63ztUrvaOcqz4s5H_OBHkJjfMoPMcM23UX6ApNRmgsuC4soHmr6yW8ii9i9DM29W3oJA/s1600/Wolf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="668" data-original-width="603" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDotGDNcwiXgdHPF8LHQdLzn8gJt-xFFhr8ID-kGXU57_80Ma5crrHl_pYGm8IfnFYOese6QqW63ztUrvaOcqz4s5H_OBHkJjfMoPMcM23UX6ApNRmgsuC4soHmr6yW8ii9i9DM29W3oJA/s400/Wolf.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1725</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Toatin’ Freedom</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me,
you would know….</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m proud of being Black</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">That the hardest thing I
have ever done is being away from my family</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">One piece of good news
from my life this month is I got a deal</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My relationship with my
family is good</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">What I find most
difficult about coming to school is doing homework</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">What I love about school
is the girls</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">That my biggest dream is
to get out of jail</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">The person I feel
closest to is my best friend because we’ve done a lot of things together</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If I had three wishes, I
would wish to be home, be next to my girl, and have a lot of money</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My biggest fear is not
getting out</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I would give anything to
see freedom, but</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I believe in toatin’
firearms.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1726</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Whatever I Put My Mind
To</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I was just a kid running
the streets. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I remember dark nights
and bright candles. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I heard gunshots and
people crying. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I saw my friend lose his
life. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I worried that I would
be next. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I thought of myself
locked up or dead. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But, I want to change. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I am a believer. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I think I can be someone
better. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I need to ask for support
from my family. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I try to be good. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I feel lost and ashamed.
</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I forgive myself for my
past behaviors. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Now I can change. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I will be someone
important in life. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I choose to be closer to
my family. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I dream to have my own
things in life, because then I will be m<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">ore appreciative of
what life gives me. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I hope to be a
successful person. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I predict myself opening
up my own animal rescue. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I know I can accomplish
whatever I put my mind to. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I will change. </span></div>
</div>
<div class="WordSection7">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1727</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Like Him</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">1 You should know I am a
middle child of 10 kids: 5 are my moms and 5 are my dads. But I'm the only one
born from my mom and dad. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">2 I would die for my
family.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">3 I grew up in the Bay
Area mainly San Jose and Santa Cruz</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">4 I don't really know my
biological father. Last time I saw him it was 2009 and he was arrested for
beating up a guy that tried to kidnap me. Which explains why I hate authority.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">5 I have been locked up
about 15 times for things ranging from petty theft to guns and drug charges.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">6 I was born in a local
hospital and I died for 3 minutes and 33 seconds before being revived.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">7 You should know I hate
school.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">8 I have 15 dogs. 4 Pit
Bulls 1 Rat Dog 2 German Shepard's 2 Rottweilers 2 Doberman Pinschers and 4
Huskys.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">9 you should know I'm 15
and am "6' 1".</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">10 I look up to my older
brother who was a criminal, like me, but changed and owns a business in Oregon.
I'm going to be like him one day.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1728</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Leaving the Bad Stuff
Behind</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me
you would know I've rode BMX since I was 15 years old. I'm not the best but I
am pretty good. It's my hobby and favorite thing to do. It is what I really
want to do for the rest of my life.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that I've
been locked up 4 times since June of last year and now I'm in a long term
program, also, that I regret a lot of the stuff I did.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me,
you would know I'm the first child in my family of four: my Mom, Dad, and
little sister who is 12.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me
you would know I'm a very active person who hates sitting around. I get bored
very easy that is one of the reasons I'm locked up. I've had ADHD all my life.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know I've
moved around a lot in my life. I've lived in Montana, California, Illinois,
Washington, where I was born, and Oregon.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know I've been
to countless schools. The longest I've stayed at a school is while I've been
locked up.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know my dream
is to join the military. I have wanted to join the marines since I was small. I
want to join and be a field mechanic or a infantry man.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me
you would know I have lived in the same town for three years, but that's where
I started getting into trouble.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know me and my
dad have built cars since I was little and that's what sparked my interest in
cars.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me,
you would know that after I get out of here I'm planning on moving to Montana
with my grandparents and leaving the bad part of my life behind. And I'll
probably be going to boot camp out there.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjes6x2QqhYX5BwSKWhSc8zVbPbX0egAOVSPPSIHmt-f5mgJqqCpV4l0w2MgpdE1RSNN5mS5x8C5YxmDaG-imEQFVtVxExYthnvYpkcSGgLmt92K4aqwy458JhcaqAUhL3l4D386WONDS0t/s1600/Mandala+July+II+-+Copy.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="427" data-original-width="446" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjes6x2QqhYX5BwSKWhSc8zVbPbX0egAOVSPPSIHmt-f5mgJqqCpV4l0w2MgpdE1RSNN5mS5x8C5YxmDaG-imEQFVtVxExYthnvYpkcSGgLmt92K4aqwy458JhcaqAUhL3l4D386WONDS0t/s320/Mandala+July+II+-+Copy.bmp" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1729</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Distancing Fear</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me,
you would know…</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m proud of my talent</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">That the hardest thing I
have ever done is sat in this place</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My relationship with my
family is amazing</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">What I love most about
school is having good test scores</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">That my biggest dream is
to be freed</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">The person I feel
closest to is my dad because he has done nothing but cared for me</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If I had three wishes, I
would wish to be back with my pops and step-mom, to see my sisters and
brothers, and to be layin’up with my girl</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My biggest fear is
staying locked up</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I believe in myself</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1730</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My Change Poem</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I was a troublemaker.
</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I remember when I fought
with my family. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I heard that I was the
worst sister ever. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I saw my anger come out
of me. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I worried about my anger
coming out again. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I thought I was going to
end up on the streets and my family would give up on me. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But, I want to change. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I am a not so perfect,
loving child. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I think everybody makes
mistakes.</span></span></div>
</div>
<span style="color: #eeeeee;">
</span><br />
<div class="WordSection8">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I need to keep my head
on my shoulders. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I try to be sure to make
the right decision at all times. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I feel like I can be a
better person and achieve my goals. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I forgive my loved ones
I struggled with. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Now I can change. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I will be a role model
to my family and friends. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I choose to do the right
thing in life and try to achieve my goals to better myself. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I dream that someday I
will be a loving mom just like my mother. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I hope someday I will be
the sweet young lady my mother taught me to be. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I predict to be a
successful and happy young lady. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I know that I will be a
person to change people’s lives. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I will change. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1731</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Anything for Better</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me,
you would know…</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">One piece of good news
from my life this week is I might get out</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My relationship with my
family is great</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">That I find most
difficult about coming to school is waking up</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">What I love most about
school is lunch</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My biggest dream is
to possibly be a football player</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">The person I feel
closest to is mom because she understands me</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My biggest fear is being
gone forever</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I would give anything to
see me doing better than ever</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I would change my
lifestyle</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I believe in God.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="WordSection9">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1732</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Making the Best Of It</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I was born and raised
here. I'm 17 years old and I'm a very outgoing person. I'm a very chill
person, but when I get angry, I snap...I lose it! People tell me I have anger
issues. I never wanted to believe it, but sadly I'm starting to realize it's
true. I hate being where I'm at, which is currently the County Juvenile Hall. I
started realizing I have anger issues while in this place, because when I get
angry I love inflicting pain on somebody or breaking something, and obviously I
can't do that in here. Anger gives me anxiety. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I feel like a big part
of me is my friends and family; they're a big part of who I am. I'm not exactly
too good in school. I started cutting school in the 8th grade and officially
dropped out in 9th grade. This is where my short temper came into play. I had
enemies and idiots who would simply bother me and I felt like it was my job to
take care of it by fighting. It seemed to me like the teachers cared, but not
enough to do something about it. I never got to attend real high school. By the
time I hit 8th grade I was at a continuation school. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">As I've grown over the
years I realized I have a tremendous amount of pride, and my loyalty is strong,
especially if I consider you my brother or family. Sadly but true my loyalty
has taken the heat for my close ones, and my anger has exploded on people who
did my family wrong. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I really enjoy going to Upper
Park with my close friend and hiking the Indian caves. We enjoy the view and
blow off steam. Growing up, I really enjoyed yo-yoing. I learned at school from
my peers, I haven't yo-yoed in a while but I feel like I still got it. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Nowadays, I really enjoy
music and sports. My favorite music is gangster rap. I've been dying to listen
to my playlist. Other than music, I really enjoy sports. I'm not good at every
sport, but I really enjoy soccer, basketball, and football.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Growing up living where
I did, I'm surprised I didn't catch a serious charge until my 17 years of life.
I guess I was slick for only so long. They're charging me with 2 felonies. I guess
the upside to this whole sticky situation is I can make the best of it now and
graduate school. As you know by reading my story I didn't think I was gonna
graduate.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghVdQAXn_6lA7klnda2mNsuNCN4TH4Kjj54t4Yysnx6ztkIXVP8GJVPbqK2o40oDdRqEGGPJq71xFky8_d873RAVmdODxiRUF3V9vNPMmxow8oD9SG2L3wphrqjfa9CvohIb1FcZBwnE5t/s1600/WE+Armed.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="223" data-original-width="526" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghVdQAXn_6lA7klnda2mNsuNCN4TH4Kjj54t4Yysnx6ztkIXVP8GJVPbqK2o40oDdRqEGGPJq71xFky8_d873RAVmdODxiRUF3V9vNPMmxow8oD9SG2L3wphrqjfa9CvohIb1FcZBwnE5t/s400/WE+Armed.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br clear="all" style="mso-break-type: section-break; page-break-before: auto;" />
</span>
</span><br />
<div class="WordSection10">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1733</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">True Calling</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me
you'd know that</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I am a loyal
understanding person with a low GPA</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Growing up I skated,
danced, and all types of things trying to find my true calling and still
haven't discovered it.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">To this day I know what
makes me happy, but it never works in my favor so I was categorized as a common
criminal. What makes me happy is helping people anyway, no matter the cost.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I love tattoos and I
have 3, but I hate being judged. I hate when people aren't really themselves. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">People think I'm smart
and have lots of potential, but I never seem to feel it nor see it in myself.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I honestly like
knowledge and hope to have tons one day.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I can see right through
people and get at least an idea of who they really are quickly.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I have a lot of common
sense. It's hard to get by me.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I am an emotional dude
and tend to manipulate without trying.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I have 6 felonies
including my current ones and they do not define me!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1734</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">CHANGE </span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I was young and
depressed. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I was always sad and
angry. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I remember being left
alone by myself. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I heard my mom yelling
at me and putting me down. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I saw her hit me
multiple times. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I worried that she hated
me. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I thought to myself I
have no one. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But, I want to change. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I am older and happier. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I think I’m better on my
own. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I need to be positive
because everything I’ve been through was negative. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I try not to turn back
to my old ways of negativity. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I feel worthless. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I forgive her for all
the pain and suffering she put me through. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Now I can change. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I will be better than
her. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I choose to be positive
and learn from my past. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I dream that I’ll be
successful. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I hope that one day I
can move on from my past. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I predict that I will
not be ashamed to be myself. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I know I’m not
worthless. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I will change.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="WordSection11">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1735</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Making Great
Accomplishments</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me
you would know that this is my 12th month being locked up and I only have 2
more months left.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that I
caught my first charge when I was 15 which was a felony. If I could go back and
not do it I would because I would not be in the system .</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that
throughout high school I dropped out many times. I would never go. Now that I
have been here for so long I only have 19 credits left and will be graduated in
the next 2 months!</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me
you would know that I am now 18 years old and am just now realizing that I can
make great accomplishments in my life.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that I
have an amazing girlfriend that I can't thank God enough for. I have known her
since I was 8. She is my best friend, my queen, my everything.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me,
you would know that growing up, I had some bad times and felt as if I was
worthless in this world. Now I am striving and I am going to keep striving and
I’m not going to let my past determine my future.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me you
would know that I hate being locked up and when I get out I’m going to do
everything in my power not to ever come back to places like this.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that I
love working outdoors and that when I get out I am going to work for the CCC
(California Conservation Corps).</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that I
love being around people.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me
you would know that I am going to make the best out of my life and my future. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1736</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Calm Learning</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me,
you would know…</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My relationship with my
family is fine</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">That what I find most
difficult coming to school is being around people</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">What I love most about
school is learning</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">The person I feel
closest to is ______ because he is</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">The way most people see
me or label me is calm</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My biggest fear is death.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1737</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I Was Normal </span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I ride BMX bikes I
used to ride scooters but I hit my face on the half pipe and I started riding
BMX bikes instead.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I love to play GTA 5 it
is my favorite game</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I have a dog named Bingo
he is hella cute. I don't know what type of dog he is though.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m a foster kid. I was
5 months old when I got put in foster care. I was adopted at age 6 months. I
grew up with a foster mom and dad. I was a normal kid and I was doing good
until 3rd grade. I got suspended the first day and 4th grade. I got expelled
the first week and I stopped going to school. Now I’m in 7th grade and I don't
go to school...until I got here and it makes me want to go to school again.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1738</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Things You Should Know
About Me</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">1.I am the oldest out of
3 kids. My little brother is nine. My little sister is 12. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">2. When I was about 9
years old I had an appendicitis attack. I was a couple hours close to dying.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">3. I have been arrested
four times: all within three months.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">4. When I was 11 years
old I raced BMX. I was going on a winning streak and I hit a jump wrong and
crashed falling off a wall. I hit my head,rolled my ankle, fractured my wrist,
and had to go to the hospital. I blacked out and had a concussion. I was really
out of it for 2 days. I haven't raced since.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">5. Last year me and my
close homeboy were riding a motorbike all around town. We ended up at one-mile
and lost control. We were going straight towards the water and my homeboy told
me not to jump off: and I didn't listen. I missed the water. My leg smashed on
the concrete. I had road burn from my ankle to the top of my thigh and my
knee was super bruised. We had his dad come pick us up and I didn't walk for
like a week I was in so much pain.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">6. Over the summer of
last year I went to Texas to stay with my aunt. I took a train out their and
I'm very into photography so I took a lot of pictures, especially In New Mexico
and past the border, as well as many other places ( I don't remember the
names). When I got home a week later I broke my phone and lost all the pictures
I had taken. Well over 100.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">7. About two months ago
I was on the run from probation. I was hanging out downtown at the park, I was
in a really good mood, not worried about anything and me and all my friends
were all hanging out having a good time and then all of a sudden they all got
quiet. I turned to see probation coming from several directions. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="WordSection12">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry # 1739</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Change </span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I was a bad little kid
and a thief. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I remember when my
little brother died. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I heard bad things from
older people growing up. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I saw people doing
drugs. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I worried that I
wouldn’t be loved. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I thought I would never
get to this point. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But, I want change. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I am in the process of
becoming a successful person. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I think that anybody can
be successful in life. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I need to stop smoking
and drinking. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I try and not think
about what others have to say about me. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I feel very stressed and
depressed. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I forgive my mom and dad
for never being there. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Now I can change. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I will go to school. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I choose to stay out of
trouble. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I dream that I can be
successful in life. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I hope that I will be
successful. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I know that I can change
my life around. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I will change</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1740</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Making Mama Smile</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me,
you would know…</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I am proud of my bros</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">That the hardest thing I
have ever done is give out passes</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">One piece of good news
from my life this week is my niece is turning one</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My relationship with my
family is Gucci and Gabana</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I find most
difficult about coming to school is sitting in boring-ass classes</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My biggest dream is
to get 5 million dollars</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">The person I feel
closest to is _______ because that’s my fella fella</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If I had three wishes, I
would wish for a million dollars, my brother succeeding, and my mama getting
everything she needs</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">The funniest thing I
remember happening is hitting and running</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">The way most people see
me or label me is a bad fella</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My biggest fear is dying
broke</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I would give anything to
see my mama smile</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I wouldn’t change
anything ‘bout my family</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I believe in Allah</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1741</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My Poem for Change </span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I was just a little boy
running around my neighborhood being bad </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I remember I fell one
time and busted my head </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I heard that if I bled a
lot I would die...people don’t know how I was feeling \</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I was worried that I was
going to die, I just couldn’t stop crying </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Then I realized I would
be okay and make it through many beautiful days; that little wounds won’t affect
me and I’ll always keep on moving forward. I don’t let things get in the
way of that </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But I want to change
</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I am older now and I
don’t do as many kid things as I used to do when I was younger </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I think as I got older I
started looking at things differently </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I needed to get up and
get a job not only for me but for my daughter </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I try to do well and
still stay in the hood but that’s not how the game works </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I feel like I’m stuck in
this life and I’m going to forever be stuck </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I forgive everyone who
says I wouldn’t make it </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Now I can change </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I will get a job and be
there for my daughter </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I choose not to go to
the hood as much and kick back </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I dream that one day I
will be where I want to be and I’ll have a fat car and house with my family in
it </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I hope my dream will
come true because I’m going to put in the best I got for it to be here </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I predict it will come
soon because the path I’m taking is beautiful </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I know I will do the
best I can to give my daughter what she wants and what she needs </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-30605857195613289452018-05-24T10:27:00.001-07:002018-05-24T10:54:58.696-07:00<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1672</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Any Human Being</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
want to hate you. I hate everyone because of one person…because of you. Including
the pain and the abuse, you repeatedly hurt me and I just want to know why. Why
you did what you did when I was only six. You stripped me from my innocence.
Everyone I come across sees me as a victim. It's like a red flag that says
"Already been abused, so go ahead and try again. It'll become the new
normal." I see father--daughter relationships and it's awkward for me, but
I shouldn't be thinking like that or feeling that way. What's the love of a
man? Or the love of any human being? I know there is love, because I love. But
am I the only one? </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1673</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Forgive Me</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">So
you have a young girl trying to sleep</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But
her minds filled thoughts that drive her insane</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">From
a dirty look she catches a fade </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Cuz
she was like, too young when her dad passed away </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">So
she needs love and she runs to the game</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">A
stubborn lil girl who's trynna get paid </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">And
she's scared of nobody they all know her name </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But
if you see her smile it'll make your whole day</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">A
girl who has heart and loyal to the game </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">She
slang bricks and still she get A's </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">She
only stayed in school cuz she had brains</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But
this young girl she sees nothing in life </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Rather
than doing drugs she's making sure her paper look right</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">She’s
got so many pills at the bottom of her sprite </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But
she loves the ****** rush of a fight </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">She
would rather use her hands than a glock or a knife </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">And
she has suicidal thoughts when she lay down at night</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But
she never listens to the voices in her head</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Same
voices saying, “Get out before your dead.”</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">So
every night when she’s try and go to bed</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">All
she thinks about is the clips with lead</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">She
going to hustle til the day that she’s dead</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">And
she thought she was her own enemy </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">till
she realized she was the only one on her team</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">She
stood tall cuz she had a high self-esteem </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">She
doesn't care for looks, she want her cup filled with lean</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Cuz
she doesn't want to talk she just wants to drink</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">And
she hopes to one day swallow the pain </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">So
she ran to the streets and fell in love with the game </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">The
life of crime is her instrument she loves to play </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">She
zones out as the sounds of gun shots replay </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">She
asks for forgiveness, on her knees to pray </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But
she gets up and says it'll be okay </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Cuz
to get a rainbow you gotta have some pain </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">So
hopefully it pours to wash away the pain<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj249Gj-gQM8NhMyn_2Pw07DHNJcE3Q1wNR319PX0kSZ-VobKvWa6UzuK8xxU8booBcQqHVnkL0f_rHH5FgChPsBEEX-YgTCAGq5p79uMDS3IvdQTnZel_kuI7hwoZnvqffhCFFwYrQBjyX/s1600/budah.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="566" data-original-width="387" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj249Gj-gQM8NhMyn_2Pw07DHNJcE3Q1wNR319PX0kSZ-VobKvWa6UzuK8xxU8booBcQqHVnkL0f_rHH5FgChPsBEEX-YgTCAGq5p79uMDS3IvdQTnZel_kuI7hwoZnvqffhCFFwYrQBjyX/s400/budah.png" width="272" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1674</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Where I come from …. </span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m from a
street where people get killed or locked away. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m from
faith in getting out of the ghetto. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m from a
long line of people who have cold hearts. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m from
confusion about the meaning of life. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I come from
a big family, but only talk to a small amount. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m from
love, and I know that because of my family and homies. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m from
fear, especially when I think about my past.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I come from
a long line of people who are street smart and don’t care who’s around.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I come from
experiences that reminds me of a rainy day but a bright rainbow at the end.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I come from
learning not to trust anyone.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">And I wish
my life would become better. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">That’s where
I’d like to be from.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1675</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Circling</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Hatred dwells
in a person’s soul. Someone who has been wrongfully convicted. Deep hatred,
anxiety, depression, stronger than anything…the feeling God hates you. Your
fate and the life you once knew destroyed abruptly. Why, why me? You could
think about how to better yourself, but the chance to do so will never come.
Someone once told me I was destined for greatness, but all that comes is despair.
My mother and father always said I could be whatever I wanted, but my hopes and
dreams were crushed. My life erupted like a volcano pouring hot molten magma on
what I called my spirit. Even though I don’t know what the outcome will be, the
worst lives and dwells in my mind. Hell is my thoughts. My dreams have turned
into nightmares circling just one thing, one idea, one thought, one destiny…that
I will waste ten years of my life in a cell for something completely out of my
control…over one mistake. I made one stupid immature, 17-year-old’s mistake. I
would rather die than let my heart become overwhelmed with sadness and
uncertainty.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1676</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Statistics</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Statistics
say I won’t make it out the system, that the neighborhoods I live in guarantee
an early death. Some say I won’t live to be twenty-one, while others say I’ll
be pregnant by sixteen, living the life of a single mother. They say I’ll live
on minimum wage, or I’ll never make into college one day. They say people like
me don’t change, that my kids will grow up just the same, or that my future
consists of failures and incarceration. I would like to prove these statements
wrong. One mistake doesn’t define the type of person I am. They look down upon
us because of the things we may have done, but never seem to notice the
accomplishments we have made, or notice the effort we put in to make a change.
We all deserve a chance to do great things. I don’t choose to live by the standards
everybody has put upon me, I set them higher. I don’t give people the satisfaction
of seeing me stumble, but have them envy me for the changes I have made. I won’t
spend my days having a negative attitude, I have a changed mindset to a
positive aspect of life. Although I may have grown up in a place where success
is doubted, that doesn’t mean to give up all hope and determination. I’ll prove
to others I can become something, surprise them by doing better than their
expectations. When it all comes down to it near the end, it won’t matter what
colors you banged, or where you were from, the mistakes you’ve made, or even
your wealth. What will matter is the impact I’ve made and the person I’ve come
to be. Forget the statistics. I live by my standards only.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWuBxRu6-kxBlI2PZOoIEHAM16hWMVPoEYDTmIlTkacwx3y_9eoSP9TKRM712z1VChS3ctADgi5Y0yDUq69F9P_7W1U2bu7cNsejaKWDfI_X0jWueApX197r6HqX2tZjcHj0t85Eckiwj3/s1600/Writing+Exchange+Logo+%2528Unleashed%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="434" data-original-width="981" height="176" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWuBxRu6-kxBlI2PZOoIEHAM16hWMVPoEYDTmIlTkacwx3y_9eoSP9TKRM712z1VChS3ctADgi5Y0yDUq69F9P_7W1U2bu7cNsejaKWDfI_X0jWueApX197r6HqX2tZjcHj0t85Eckiwj3/s400/Writing+Exchange+Logo+%2528Unleashed%2529.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry
#1677</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Reflection</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">See,
my mom and I had to live in silence before my dad got deported for domestic
violence. I have to say I had a lot of admiration for my mom’s determination to
get up and create a new family. She forgot about me, but this isn't why I fell.
This isn't why I ended up behind this cell. It all began when I started losing
my hope due to smoking dope. All because I didn't know how to cope. Unfortunately
these were the cards I was dealt. I had to learn to rearrange them to win the
game. I had to find someone else to play my cards. I opened my eyes and saw
something new. I left the drugs and found a better meaning, a real kind of
feeling. While I was locked away and everyone forgot me, so to say. While
screaming for God to send me an angel from above, I found love. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
opened my eyes and saw something new, I found someone else.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
found myself. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
won. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1678</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My Life in the JDF</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">So, I won’t
back down </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">No, I won’t
go back to the mobile home.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">No, I’m
scared I’m going out of my mind, thinkin’ about a rhyme that will impress and
make ‘em all happy. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Do I really
want to go back to my family? Do I really want to stay in the JDF?</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I don’t want
to go to a group home, but that might be my only option. The only way to go is
up – never back down. Right now, hard feeling, written on the paper. Two best
friends – depression and my anger. They control me. They are the factors of my
life. They make me who I am. They control me. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1679</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Inca R. Ceration</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Hello
my name is incarceration.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I'll
make you eat, sleep, and reminisce.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I'll
separate you from your friends </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">And,
your family especially.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
can break your life apart.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But
it's your choice to make it better.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
can also make it start.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">When
life gets cold I give you faded blue sweaters.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Keep
making the choices you make and I'll be with you forever.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-RVmLvDHd49Lv2gdQiiQkcEZzbmSIb7PFjyJUmeY7f1waQ8Zr7aJzbqJsE4EA-61YsLcTKZm1YrqqlnOfqMsuHG9Qoa2hqbbquvpUq-8nKio5EhQuTXGtTW1UpimH3hsK6mpetR55VFs0/s1600/birds+flower.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="438" data-original-width="594" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-RVmLvDHd49Lv2gdQiiQkcEZzbmSIb7PFjyJUmeY7f1waQ8Zr7aJzbqJsE4EA-61YsLcTKZm1YrqqlnOfqMsuHG9Qoa2hqbbquvpUq-8nKio5EhQuTXGtTW1UpimH3hsK6mpetR55VFs0/s400/birds+flower.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1680</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Stop the World, I Would Like to
Get Off Now</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Life is like
a carnival ride. It starts off slow, then speeds up before you know.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Similar to
an ocean tide, it’s filled with highs and lows.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Stop the
world, I’d like to get off now. Life’s taking me up and down like a ship’s bow.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I keep
crossing oceans to get ahead, but my progress is equivalent to jumping a puddle
instead.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I often stay
up all night in bed, with worries running rampant in my head.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I also stay
awake with fears, kicked in the back of my eyeballs with tiny feet called
tears.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’ve come to
realize that life is mostly unfair and I often feel as if I’m trapped in a
rabbit’s snare.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Stop the
world, I’d like to get off now.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1681</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Memoir after Death</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Remember me
for my kindness, praise me for my intelligence, and applaud me for my
humbleness. I don’t care that I’m remembered by many, as long as I’ve inspired
good in plenty. Forget rich or famous or pretty; describe me as kind or honest
and witty.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Friends, if
I die today, smile and be filled with warmth. Don’t let my death leave you
bitter and sore. Remember I loved and was there for you? My shoulder always
there to cry onto?</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Family, you
can be sad, but you still have each other. Live the life I haven’t got to
finish and my love will be with you forever.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">“It’s not
the years of your life, it’s the life in your years.” If I live to be eighty
and help no one, then you have cause to shed tears. If I live to only twenty,
but have helped many then would you please look back on my life and be giddy.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You can be a
shining star with the best car or be funny and have the most money. But what
does all that really mean in the grand scheme of things? If you let material
things represent who you are, in people’s hearts you won’t go very far.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry
#1682</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Doesn't Mean Forever</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I'm
trapped in a cage</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Sitting
through my final stay</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My
momma sent me away </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Locked
away is where I remain</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
put myself in a difficult position </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Now
I'm sitting here waiting for the final decision </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
had drugs in my closet </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My
momma found them and looked at me broken hearted</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">She
asked me "Why do you do what you do?" </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
looked her in the eyes and said "I can't tell you."</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
watched my momma's world collapse in her eyes </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">She
kept asking me "Why baby girl, why?"</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
told her I almost overdosed many times </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">She
started screaming "Why can't you fight the demons you create inside?"</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">After
that day my momma turned me in</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Cause
the drugs I was using were making me too thin</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
love my momma to death</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I'm
so thankful she turned me in cause I was moments away to taking my final breath
</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I've
been in the Hall since then</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
don't know how long it's been</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Since
my momma was proud of me </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But
I just got to believe </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">That
I'm ready to change</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Cause
I know my momma don't want me home if I'm the same </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But
momma I promise you it'll get better </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Cause
this **** doesn't mean forever</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I'll
be home very soon</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">And
momma even though I'm locked up I'm still here for you</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
love you so much mom </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I'm
sorry for doing you wrong </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But
we can all move on one day </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">And
finally be a happy family </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
just hope you see </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">That
girl wasn't the real me</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Everyone
asked me "Are you okay?" </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">And
I just smiled and said "It's just another day."</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
promise, never again will I lie to you </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">It'll
only be the truth </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Momma
you're my whole world </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">And
I'm so proud to be your baby girl</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF7aIfjaDj01tbrox1hNl3VsFszKSMEF-3Tyru6LuzkzWBRrFZSmlLlgDsjjzkNfLoocV0BM8lF1nozlB3fkfYOyrkc8gCf2dBc0CVmDYwf3PQnK7COS_Wf3Iq4GQs16mwVJz6ZM4HLvUl/s1600/dragon+fly.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="415" data-original-width="467" height="355" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF7aIfjaDj01tbrox1hNl3VsFszKSMEF-3Tyru6LuzkzWBRrFZSmlLlgDsjjzkNfLoocV0BM8lF1nozlB3fkfYOyrkc8gCf2dBc0CVmDYwf3PQnK7COS_Wf3Iq4GQs16mwVJz6ZM4HLvUl/s400/dragon+fly.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1683</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Playing Parent</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You see that
I am different than most</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You see that
I fight when people make fun of me</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But you
don’t know me</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would
know me if…</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You knew how
it was hard to not let others get to me</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You knew how
I sometimes feel that no one truly cares about me, and there is no point to
keep going on in life</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You knew how
I was beaten every day because I was different, and my dad thought beating me
would change me</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You see that
I smoke and drink to feel better</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You see that
I cut on my wrists and legs to cope with my feelings</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But you
don’t know me.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would
know me if…</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You knew how
I express myself through poetry and art</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You knew how
I run away when things get tough</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You knew how
I played dad and mom to my sisters while my family used drugs.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1684</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Momma Sorry</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Momma sorry,</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But forgive
me for what I put you through</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Sitting in a
cell, </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Made me
realize what I did to you…</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You’ve been through
a lot of pain,</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You’ve been
throut a lot</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Mom, I’ll
love you unconditionally until my heartbeats stop.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Choose you
own life,</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Don’t let
this life choose you.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My life’s
full of pain, but that’s something I’m used to,</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Mom, I love
you unconditionally,</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I only wish
I was present with you physically</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">While I’m
doing these years</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You’ll be
the one I’ll be missing</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Of course
you’re feeling pain. I’m on my way to prison,</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I wish I
could take the pain away.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If it wasn’t
for me, we wouldn’t have to live this way!</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry
# 1685</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Pray For me</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Hook
)</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
said the demons were trying to make a way for me </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Now
they here me praying </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Now
they’re playing with me.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">(Who’s
Gone Pray For Me)3 </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">No
one understands how she makes me feel. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If
the judge gives me time, will you even be there, can you wait for me?</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">(Wait
for me) (Pray for me) </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Locked
up in this cell and I can't see you baby. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But
this might be a test to our love baby </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">(Will
you wait for me?)(Wait for me) (Pray for me) </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">(Verse
1)</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Shackles
on my feet. Cuffs on my hands. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Riden
back to Stockton in a minivan. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Last
time I called my girl she was stressing. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But
moms on the hand saying this should teach me a lesson. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Are
you gonna hold it down or you gone cat. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Just
be 100 with me and I will be 100 with you back. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Laying
in this cell having dreams about you cheating.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Over
heating on this map so I start heavily breathing.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Yeah,
attorney said if you were 18 you would of had 6 to life. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Only
17 but they might try to whack me with a strike. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If
you’re down like you say, ride for me </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">cause
all them girls in the past all lied to me</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
said the demons were trying to make a way for me </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Now
they here me praying </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Now
they’re playing with me.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">(Who’s
Gone Pray For Me)3 </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">No
one understands how she makes me feel. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If
the judge gives me time, will you even be there, can you wait for me?</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">(Wait
for me) (Pray for me) </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Locked
up in this cell and I can't see you baby. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But
this might be a test to our love baby </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">(Will
you wait for me?)(Wait for me) (Pray for me) </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1686</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’ll Be Okay</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Sorry Mom, I
wasn’t there when I was supposed to be.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">We had our
ups and downs.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But through
it all you kept on loving me.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">From group
home to group home, </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You never
once abandoned me.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You’re not
only my mom.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You’re my
world.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You’re my
everything.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Ima have to
face some years before I make it home.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m losing
all my faith.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m losing
all my hope.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">It ain’t
over, Mom, even though it feels that way.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I pray every
night that hopefully we see a better day.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">The day they
sentence me, Mom,</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Don’t worry
I’ll be okay.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Momma, don’t
you cry.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Just wipe
them tears away!</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYyf2y5EWgWYrtpmgK1zPvNosmege-3zlGWTU7ljVLD1E8ikvsFTc-24vomHjZDZNxRU9n4jOiUNYztwNncKbcLJDDmlaiFDe0nJp5TW5rL8Whp7SsfJ5SWU80IY3CMp8miKfMCAj2uBSu/s1600/Hand.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="643" data-original-width="519" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYyf2y5EWgWYrtpmgK1zPvNosmege-3zlGWTU7ljVLD1E8ikvsFTc-24vomHjZDZNxRU9n4jOiUNYztwNncKbcLJDDmlaiFDe0nJp5TW5rL8Whp7SsfJ5SWU80IY3CMp8miKfMCAj2uBSu/s400/Hand.png" width="322" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1687</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Letter after a Time</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Here’s
something I never told you while you were alive…When I’m around you I feel safe
and I wouldn’t want to go any other place</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Many times,
since you’ve been gone, I’ve thought about… The good times we had and how we
made it through all the bad and what a strong loving grandma I had, you always
made me so glad</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Here’s
what’s new in my life…Ever since I lost you I realized being locked up and in
these streets wasn’t worth not being with my family. I’m sorry I couldn’t be
there for you Nannie.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">When I dream
sometimes I imagine you… You dancing in heaven looking down on me and guarding
me from all who trespass against me</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">It’s amazing
to look ahead in my life and think… How you’re not suffering trying to stay
strong for me and how you made my life so lovely </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I love you
my Nannie</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1688</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">The World</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Being
locked up really sucks. All I do is sit in my cell and think about my girl. Every
time I get to hear her beautiful voice makes me so happy. But that is only
every so often. I have been in here for 8 months now. It is crazy to me how
everyone says that all you got is family. If that is so, then why doesn't my
family come and see me, let alone answer my phone calls or write me letters?
Since I have been in here the only person to write me is my girl. The only girl
in my life that means something to me is my girl. There are people in here with
me that tell me that my girl is cheating on me. I don't believe any of it
though. I trust my girl. She is loyal to me. We have known each other since we
were 7 years old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was her first kiss
and definitely plan on being her last. I hate being away from her. When I am
away from her I don't know what to do with myself. I was away from her for a
month and this is where it got me. I promised her that I won't **** up anymore
so that when I get out we can build on our life together. I am going to stay
true to my word, because to me, she means the world. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry
#1689</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Lost</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Only
seventeen and they want to send me to prison, </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’ve
been trying to change my ways and really learn my lesson, </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">missing
my little girl man this place got me stressing, </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">courts
almost here and I'm trying to show a good expression, </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">but
it's like the walls are closing in creating this depression, </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">the
pain I hold inside me is causing a lot of tension, </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
sit in my room everyday thinking and reminiscing, </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">lost
in my thoughts not knowing what I'm missing.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1690</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Nobody</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I hear a
ball bouncing</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I hear metal
keys</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I see a
wall, a brick wall</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I sleep on a
mattress two inches thin</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My parents,
they won’t call. They won’t even visit.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Now I sit in
this room all alone wondering why I am here</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My family
doesn’t want me. Who is really there? </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Nobody
Nobody Nobody</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But wait…If
I open my eyes, maybe there is. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Everyone’s
just waiting for the ring on the phone</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Why are we
here?</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Well, Idk,
but if I find out, I’ll let you know</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">So back to
my cell</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’ll see you,
maybe after trial <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But only if
they drop the charges</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">They’ve
haunted me for a while.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry
#1691</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m Actually Here</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
hear pencils writing, desks squeaking, and light whispers. Inside the hall is
gloomy. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If
I sit here and just look around in the dead silent all I feel is sadness and pure
gloominess, and I think, “Wow I can't believe I'm actually here.” </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Inside,
the hall is the same routine every day: shower, eat, school, lunch, school,
B&G, dinner, rec. I get to go outside twice a day, once for PE and large
muscle. We have rec, go to bed and then repeat. And on the weekends it's a
little different. On some days it's full of laughs and happiness and goofiness,
but it's rare.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
feel empty. I sit in this blank, white wall, blue doored room, and think why?</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
sit and cry and wonder when it’s going to be over, this depressed feeling.
Feeling like my soul is slowly leaving my body. Inside here they call it your
room or home but don't fall into that trap or you'll end up coming back. This
is not my room or my home. Not able to talk to your family member more than 5
min and not able to give your parents a hug without a table in between you. Only
being able to see your parents twice a week, if they even decide to come. Not
even able to see your little siblings. It kills me, especially knowing they are
mad at me and don't even want to talk to me.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">People
say it's like daycare here and yeah, it pretty much is, but through that
daycare part it's truly hell. For some people it's a good place, good food, a
bed, and a shower every day. For me, I have that already and this place just tears
me down.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I'm
glad I did come back because if I didn't I know I would be in a bad place. And
me coming back gave me time to clear my head and really think about everything
and think about how I really want my life to go….do I want to have a good life,
not do drugs, go to school, and be a normal teenager…or do I want to be some
badass little kid running the streets, doing drugs, not going to school, breaking
the law, coming in and out of juvy, and eventually probably going to jail?
That's not the life I want. It may be fun and all but that's only for the time
being. I realize I have to look at the outcome of the situation.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtfnwrjgnaQuCW-X84QZPPMnrOYwGtb3lhd90JkrM_8tNk7daZ7gMMuwCzqE2RGpSK4bQCDIkyl0qEvWdf3K9bk1ROxjIgcyCJfUIaIVyTU6zlieqOzEqtzDLCeFxkWFWo-I5alkNz4quT/s1600/WE+Armed.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="223" data-original-width="526" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtfnwrjgnaQuCW-X84QZPPMnrOYwGtb3lhd90JkrM_8tNk7daZ7gMMuwCzqE2RGpSK4bQCDIkyl0qEvWdf3K9bk1ROxjIgcyCJfUIaIVyTU6zlieqOzEqtzDLCeFxkWFWo-I5alkNz4quT/s400/WE+Armed.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1692</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Sitting By Myself</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You see that
I wear bright orange.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You see that
my hair is long.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But you do
not know me. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would
know me if</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You knew how
hard it was to see my mother cry.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You knew how
it felt to disappoint your family.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You could
see that I sit by myself.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You could
see that I write without rhyming. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But you
still do not know me.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry
#1693</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Flashbacks and Lessons</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Cold
nights with long thoughts, </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">sitting
in my cell all I can do is plot, </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
remember when I was out in the street masked up with that heat, </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">rivals
slid through and I didn't even think, </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">flashbacks
of that night, </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">man
I wish it was all a bad dream, </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">but
all I hear sometimes is those loud high pitch screams, </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
hope one day I can be forgiven, </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">until
that day comes I will be learning my lesson.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1694</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><strong><u>Tired</u></strong></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">It smells in
the hall. It’s stupid. I can’t even think straight because all the kids are
yelling. It’s like a really unfair daycare. It sucks. I shouldn’t even be here
because I know I can be doing better. Even my parents know what incarceration
is like. I can’t wait to get out because I’m tired of this life.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry
#1695</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Family Time</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">The
people in my life who have been incarcerated: my mom, dad, uncle, grandma, and
grandpa. My mom was in jail for assault with a weapon on my dad. My dad went to
jail for domestic violence on my mom. My gramma went to jail in 1993 for
stealing her neighbor’s car to go to the hospital because her water broke when
she was pregnant with my Uncle Russell. My grandpa went to prison for murder
but beat the case because no one witnessed it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1696</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My Goal</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I
am a 16 year old kid who has been to juvenile hall 4 times since the beginning
of the year. Each charge/violation has progressively gotten more severe and the
mental and emotional damage has affected me more and more each time. My first
charge was an assault charge. Then each violation after that has been me
messing around and not listening to my terms of probation and not taking it
that seriously. However this time I will be staying at their ***** hotel for a
lot longer. I've gotten myself into some trouble I don't even remember doing
because I was so drugged up…. All I remember is me talking to the officer in
the back of the car and then waking up a whole day later inside juvenile hall
once again. I really wish I hadn't taken those drugs. Xanax bars and triple c's
combined are definitely not safe. I have let myself, my mother and father, and
my girlfriend down. I will most likely be here for 3 months or longer, wasting
my whole summer away sitting inside this cement box. My goal that I will strive
to achieve is to never, ever come back to this hell hole.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1697</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">STOP!</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">As
I sit with my eyes closed, I hear pencils tapping, legs shaking, the
occasionally radio transmission that's almost always too loud and distracting.
I hear youth just making kids noises. That's what it's like in the hall: loud
and a noxious. There's never a moment of silence, never a moment of peace. I
can't wait for the day that I'm finally released. Once again I'll hit the
streets. The cage has freed the beast and I'll be free at last. I'm trying to
work on life skills and forget my ***** past. Get a job doing honest work and
make some honest cash. Stop doing meth and living life so fast because no
matter what I'm high on, I'm always going to crash. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1698</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">A Day</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">A bad day is
when I lose a friend.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">A good day
is when I hear the words I love you.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">A bad day is
when I don’t know where my money went.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">A good day
is when I am full of happiness.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">A bad day is
when I can’t get enough time to myself.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">A good day
is when I spend time with my family.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">A bad day is
when I get into a fight with my brother.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">A good day
is when I find myself a girlfriend.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">A bad day is
when I lose my girlfriend</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1699</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><u><strong>I Know</strong></u></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">The juvenile
system is different. It is like a daycare. You have to ask to do everything,
and you are controlled every minute of the day. They feed you crappy food. It
smells like piss, and it’s overall disgusting. All my family and friends know
I’m incarcerated because this isn’t my first time. It’s probably my 8<sup>th</sup>
time in here and hopefully my last. I need to work on a lot of things to make
sure I don’t come back. I have people who care so much about me and don’t want
me ruining my life any more than it is. I know I need to change.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm6ZXGErYq3iKr6Rki0615udTDOtweFp1dhoB_Y1z1WeC0aGBQScyBHSDompwT00ycsqi-GUz9XXsf73RrQYHuiAWerfdfyF8TXGi1eryN92zfL3TFJB8NfccCe9EdmapWeUz_7-eKL7iq/s1600/Write+or+wrong+logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="260" data-original-width="519" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm6ZXGErYq3iKr6Rki0615udTDOtweFp1dhoB_Y1z1WeC0aGBQScyBHSDompwT00ycsqi-GUz9XXsf73RrQYHuiAWerfdfyF8TXGi1eryN92zfL3TFJB8NfccCe9EdmapWeUz_7-eKL7iq/s400/Write+or+wrong+logo.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry
#1700</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Family</span></u></b></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">All
my life I have been in poverty. My family was a low income.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We didn't have much. I have four siblings
with one who I never met: my older brother I still haven't met him to this day.
I want to really bad but I don't think that will ever happen but I honestly
don't know what I would say if I did meet him. It would probably be kind of
weird not knowing him my whole life anyway. I also have an older sister who I
don't talk too much because she is too caught up in her life with her new
boyfriend and all, but I don't think we ever clicked much anyway. My favorite
is my lil brother. He’s 14 and is a total square. He have never even said a
curse word in his life. That is what makes him different from the rest of the
family. My mom and dad got divorced when he was like 8 and he hasn't been the
same since. He gets kind of emotional sometimes but now that I have been sitting
in my cell for 9 months for a stupid lSD charge I miss my family and I am tired
of drugs interfering with my life. I say no more to drugs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-35013127260543421302018-05-03T10:31:00.001-07:002018-05-03T10:33:39.621-07:00<br />
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #1635<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Endless Sleep</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Development of the black sable,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">stereotyped by fuming rhythms<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">that ensured preoccupied circumstances.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A weary sickness,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">energized with wine,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I imagine the velvet sky.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Encouraging fumes of glass beads,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">reserved to cherish the overlooked bed,</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-no-proof: yes;"></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I fall into insensitive sheets,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">into a woeful stew of neutral darkness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #1636<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Forever Sleep</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 11pt;"><br clear="all" style="break-before: auto;" /></span>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Lonely<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">pitch black inferno.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Loud fans<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">fighting the depression.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Lonely<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">cobalt blue skies,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">yet still pitch black<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">through my eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The phone rings and I can’t find it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Falling, can’t catch myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Trying to hide from death,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">but I think it found me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #1637<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Chemical Imbalance</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A loaded gun.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Hatred flowing through my heart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Lights flashing icy white.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Nike sweat<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">seeping through my socks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Freedom lost.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Give up,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">run,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">or kill.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Finding myself trapped<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">lost in my thoughts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A trail that goes nowhere.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Entry #1638<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I Got Two New Best Friends</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’ve got two new best friends:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">loneliness and depression.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I feel my body hurting<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">from the way I’m always stressing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I try and talk to God<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">but I’m so tired of confessing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">To all the men that hurt me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">man, the pain is just aggressing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But I’m still alive<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So maybe I should count my blessings<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Maybe I love cuffs<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">from the way that they be hugging me?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Or I like that hall, cuz I was fed,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">and it’s just so comforting?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But when I go away,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m not the only ones who’s suffering.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1639<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Ghosts</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Tender and outraged<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">dwelling on thoughts of the past.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Assaulted by a host demons called memories,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">tormented by the sounds and screams of those last words.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Deprived of a clear mind by the remembrance that clogs it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Trying to remain calm,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">but because those ghosts never fade,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m oblivious to the world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Expected to be like the others,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">but because of this I am different.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Physical wounds hurt,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">emotional wounds cut deeper.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m left hoping if I don’t acknowledge them,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">tomorrow they won’t be there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1640<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">The Paths I’ve Chosen<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I noticed bad things happen to the wrong people in life, but in my world, bad things usually happen to bad people. My life has not been all positive, I mean, I can admit I sure do have my wrong doings but overall I can honestly say I am not proud of them. I know I have made many of my love ones disappointed but I also know that they still love me in their own unique ways.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">When I was in 7th grade, I chose to smoke weed instead of getting an education. While my family was upset with me, I was too busy rolling up another blunt to see it. My addiction led me…not going to school, being around gang members, and becoming one too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">When I was 15 years old, I caught my first case. I was in a stolen vehicle with four other females. When the cops rolled up on us, I decide to take the chargers because in my head, “I knew what I was getting myself into as soon as I walked into the situation.” After, I started running away, robbing (people, cars, and stores) because at the time I had to make my name known in order to become a gangbanger. Ever since, I’ve been in the system. I never found my way out, instead I always found myself back in, facing these four walls multiple times.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Now, that I am 18 years old and back in here I have realized that I have made a mess out of myself over the past 2 years. I chose to make one bad decision that affected me in many ways. But as far as I know, while being in custody I can say that one good thing that I am getting out of this, is that I am moving towards my high school diploma by continuing to go to school. The notion that I am being released with no probation feels like a fresh start. I will make this new start into a forever life because I can be a successful person that I know I can be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">1641</span></div>
</div>
<div class="WordSection6">
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">When I Get Out of the Hall<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Taking action<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">When I get out, I will be freed<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I am going to go to school<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Get my education<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Going to be a floweriest<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I am going to stop doing drugs<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I am not going to run away from life<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I am going to face my fears<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Trying to get my life back together<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Or Relapse<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Going back to old habits<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Same crowd of people<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Same addiction<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Relapse is a part of life<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Going back from where you started<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Where I am at now<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Shows me the consequences of my action<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Forgetting the past in order to move forward<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">If I go back to old habits, I am going to lose every thing<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Education, family, trust, myself<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">When I get out the hall things will change<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Things will be different<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br clear="all" style="break-before: auto;" /></span>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1642<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">When the Lights Go Off</span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Those restless nights, with haunted images.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">The difference between us,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">they have dreams,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I have night terrors.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Resisting sleep because they seem so real.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I recognize they are not just nightmares,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">memories replaying over and over.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">The medicine was working but they took it,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">clueless to what goes on when the lights go off.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Exhausted through the day<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">because of the screams<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">that pierce my mind at night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Entry #1643<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Different Things<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">I think things will be different when they release me, because before I got locked up here I was a mess. I was using drugs every day plus I wasn’t eating or sleeping right. When night time would come I would go into the neighborhood looking for things to steal to support my drug habit, or to just get some money in my pocket. I would look for bikes or motorcycles in garages. When I found some I would come back and steal them later on. Sometimes I would steal from my grandma’s purse. Now that I’m sober and think about stealing from my grandma I get mad at myself. These few months that I’ve been locked up the juvenile hall has done a lot for me, I’ve put on a lot of needed weight since I’ve been here. I also had three huge warts on my left hand frozen off. I have four months left to do. When I finish my time and get released in June on the 19th I’m going to take care of myself and go to the Grizzly Academy where I can train myself as a cadet to get ready for one of the branches of the military. I’ll be leaving all the negativity and same people behind to better myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidcpV2GVVJ5c52_tNLAcLFNO9TpvnJbADjWkCHWJ9TvWVG4fwLMUARJCyVkbl9pJZY_NN-t4diG38g7sNASh6VNgvuqH8RiZhyphenhyphenxsO1CPHLkwrsANUUDtmHHM-tK6OebpHURpD1qtgByYE7/s1600/zak.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="699" data-original-width="709" height="393" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidcpV2GVVJ5c52_tNLAcLFNO9TpvnJbADjWkCHWJ9TvWVG4fwLMUARJCyVkbl9pJZY_NN-t4diG38g7sNASh6VNgvuqH8RiZhyphenhyphenxsO1CPHLkwrsANUUDtmHHM-tK6OebpHURpD1qtgByYE7/s400/zak.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1644<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Using</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Loaded with overwhelming anger,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">rapidly pushing to the limits,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">bringing the addiction of quick comfort.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">It's my method of vandalizing humble flesh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">The affection of primrose garden-colored grooves,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">followed by the overpowering pleasure.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="WordSection10">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">The release and emptiness of all feeling,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">it takes a while, but everything mends.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">There will always be signs of weakness,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">no matter how hard I try, the habit stays.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">The power to be free and careless<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">is too wonderful to release.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">No matter how much time goes by<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">the addiction stays<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I'm pathetic-<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">a woeful stew of neutral darkness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1645<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">The Edge</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Life, like a thin yarn<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">swimming in a dark cavern full of water.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Shamed by the truth,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">not feeling accomplished<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">in this game of life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Like a deep flesh wound on the heart<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Like a bird stuck in a cage<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Full of sadness and rage<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br clear="all" style="break-before: auto;" /></span>
<br />
<div class="WordSection11">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1646</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Where I Live<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I was born in a nearby hospital. When I was three year-old we moved. I had it hard being the youngest boy in the house. When I was six years, old I started school getting into fights. I try my best not to get in trouble anymore. When I was eight years old, my mom put me in football to stop me from gang banging. I was good at football when I started playing it. Eventually, I stopped playing football and went back to getting into trouble. I live in the streets.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I did not want to go home at all because I was a hot head. At twelve, I started going to jail. It was a repetitive thing for me. Juvenile felt like a second home to me. I have been back and forth to jail. I had a best friend who was always here for me. I do what I have to do to make it out of here so I can keep my family out the ghetto.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1647</span></div>
</div>
<div class="WordSection12">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Freedom</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Right now I feel<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">so alone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Can't I just<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">go home?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I know I did<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Something wrong,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">but I know we can all<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">move on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Freedom is always<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">so far away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I keep taking it<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">day by day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I just have to believe<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">it will get better.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I know I won't be<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">here forever.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1648<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">My life</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I keep looking at these white walls<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">and blue doors.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">My mind tells me to give up<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">and sink to the floor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I miss being loved<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">and being able<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">to look above.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I thought I could<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">achieve my dreams,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">but that's not<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">what it seems.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">My world has gone<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">upside down<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">and it has me spinning<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">around<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">and around.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1649<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Locked Away and Forgotten</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Locked away and forgotten.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Missing the light,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">hoping to be free.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Wishing it was different<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">knowing that it's not.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Trying to change<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">but stuck in one place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Missing my life<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">but I'm the one who ruined it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">It was a fun night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Iit ended with me locked up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Wishing it was different<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">but knowing that it's not.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1650<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Incarceration</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Despicable incarceration has me all alone<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">lusting for my freedom<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">aching to go home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">The ruthless clock travels slow<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">lost in this struggling world<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">searching for myself<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">all I really want is to be free.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1651<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Big Changes<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">When I get out of Juvenile Hall this year, things will be different. First, because I will finally be off of probation and will be turning eighteen a couple of days later after my release date. I will also be a graduate after I leave Juvenile hall, and will be ready to start college in August. When I start college, I will be attending classes for welding. At this moment, I am currently in the welding class at Juvenile hall. My dream is to be a welder. I am also deciding to be a part of the California National Guards Program. This program is a six-month program in which youth are taken away to learn military experiences, including physical activity. I think both options will be good for me, but I will only be able to choose one for the moment because they both start around the same time. When coming across the negative environment of my past it will not be a problem because I will be away from my hometown. I am glad things will be different for me when I get out because I will no longer be getting into any trouble. Things are really going to change in my life for good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1652<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Moving Forward</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Impulsive decisions based on how I feel inside<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">searching for myself<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">who knows what I’ll find.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Missing organization and close relationships,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">unity intrigues me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">In a race against time<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">and it always seems to beat me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Time I will never get back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Stay productive in order to stay on track.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Dedicated to the commitments I make<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Stay with perseverance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Don’t call yourself my homie<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">if you don’t offer reassurance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">My respect and loyalty run deep-<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">deeper than the roots of a wild fig tree.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I will succeed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1653<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Walking Out</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Throughout my whole life<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’ve endured adversity. I’ve overcome it all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I will overcome this as well and leave this cell.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">The system can’t hold me forever.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">When I leave here, I’ll be better.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1654<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Mind Trip<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">I trying to find a better life, but<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">These chains in a person’s way<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Every night I talk to God and ask<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Him for better days<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">I’m just trying to find some love but this<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">World is full of hate<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">So it ain’t no second thought if I’m<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Loading up the kay<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">And the drugs made me numb so I smile<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Through the pain<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Even if you’re in my shoes, you still<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Couldn’t relate<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Take a journey through my mind<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Don’t worry -<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m going to be ok. Journey<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Journey through my mind as I<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Work towards better days<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Take a journey through my mind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1655<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">One Nation under God</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">My mother<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Also my father<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">we traveled from Mexico to the U.S<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I wish I could have gone farther.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Raised to fear God<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">forget my roots<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">and the kingdom I came from.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Ashamed of the person I became,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">because to the U.S I came.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">In Mexico, I should have stayed<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I belong in the south.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">These are some things I think,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">yet can never say out loud.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">No one is to blame.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">This is the way I was raised,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">because to the U.S.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I came.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1656<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Wishing for Apathy</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I didn't do it for you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I did it for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I tried to be free<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">but got caught up in the thought.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">F love<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">nothing happens.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Go ahead, touch me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">but don't feel me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I shouldn't be the one you see.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I have no feelings <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Don't you agree?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB00FuAsesx54vJiYtpjYb8oNUEiIqZnAqJRVz71Lh4JCiVqNqpPr76EFgD6x0k3xU0pTV1mKUFQe_yg7DnLqGkU9wlJFPf9wbJxShWE2LG0gJPSa8Hc3j5qLL6HwzjofZxKLTcY3-2CvC/s1600/write+your+mind.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="607" data-original-width="711" height="341" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB00FuAsesx54vJiYtpjYb8oNUEiIqZnAqJRVz71Lh4JCiVqNqpPr76EFgD6x0k3xU0pTV1mKUFQe_yg7DnLqGkU9wlJFPf9wbJxShWE2LG0gJPSa8Hc3j5qLL6HwzjofZxKLTcY3-2CvC/s400/write+your+mind.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1657<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">An Unconditional Love<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">In the dictionary, the meaning of “unconditional” is- non-conditional or not limited. The love I hold in my heart for my mother is truly unconditional. Over the years she has raised me, she has come to be not only my closest friend, but also my biggest supporter. She has gone beyond her motherly duties to make sure I am sheltered, fed, and in the right state of mind. Despite everything I have put her through, all the troubles I have caused, not once has my mother turned her back on me. Not once has she second guessed her love towards me, or abandoned any of my needs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Every time I’ve fallen she has been right behind me to lift me up, every heart break, every crying moment, every problem I’ve experienced, she’s been right there beside me. Never has she looked down upon me as a person, nor treated me differently regardless of my wrong doings.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">She has never compared me to others, and never expects any less or any more from me - To her eyes I am perfect despite my crimes or the mistakes I have made. No matter the situation, she has never judged me or thought of me as any less than her daughter. I am grateful I was brought upon life from her teachings and grateful I was raised by such a wise, amazing woman.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">She is by far the strongest person I have met, and the one who earns the most of my respect. I could never imagine a life without my mother in it, and I hope she is aware that all her hard work, patience, and kind endurance has not gone unnoticed, and is greatly appreciated. I can never thank her enough for blessing me with this wonderful life, I sometimes feel I do not deserve.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1658<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I Don’t Know</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Puffing on cyanide<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">chilling in my swim trunks<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">next to the nocturnal sea.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I live this crazy life<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">and my mom don’t know why.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I like the life I live.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">If I don’t change I’ll end up in prison,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">or the grave.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1659<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Lost and Alone</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">You are the fixer and I am the breaker.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Feeling as useless as a rock, sighing and breathing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Dwelling on the past, and what we could have been.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">And to think I just shrugged and left you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Emotional and vulnerable, like a lost child.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Filling the boxes, missing the smell of the tide.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I miss you still, all I do is wonder.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">At first I thought it would last.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Now to me it was all a blunder.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I feel like a cave, empty and dark.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I am lost and don’t think I will ever find my way back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1660<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Mean</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Big and bad like a wolf.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I will blow your house down<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">just because I want to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I hate you and you hate me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Today is dark.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I want to hide in a cavern.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Maybe one day I will come out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Maybe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Entry #1661<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;"> </span></u></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">My Home Town<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">I believe the town I was raised in turned me into the person I am today. Why do I feel like this? I believe my home town is not as safe as it was in the old days. People in my town are all in gangs and selling drugs. People are into fighting when someone looks their way too long and stealing from their loved ones. I found myself to be like the people in my town. I was into gangs and fighting for insane reasons. I was raised around nothing but drugs and violence so that is all that fills my mind. I wanted to be like my older cousins and get money the way they did by selling drugs, stealing from the malls and people walking on the street. So I do feel like my hometown turned me into a person I am today. I regret losing my cousin to the streets and being locked up hurting myself and the people around me. I’m just angry with myself for turning out like the people around me. I wish was my hometown was a much better place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1662<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Forever to be Found…</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">A rose that grew from concrete<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">be humble, your day will come.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">So beautiful and pure<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">sticking out from the crowd.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">They follow behind me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">trying to prove themselves,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">but I don’t care; I never will.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I wait for some magical sign to prove to me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Show me something different<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">But the rose is slowly dying<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Petal after petal until I’m almost to my last.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">What I was looking for<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">was standing first in line.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1663<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Blood Roses<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Red roses pose a mark of beauty<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">But deadly like potions<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">The smell of good memories but leaves your body floatin’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Shows you a reason to never be gloatin’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">A mark of resemblance to keep your mind open<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Dar, as the blood like what has you chokin’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">The color of the devil but may the lord have you hopin’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1664<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I Need an Eraser</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">The occasional bargain<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">of gruesome anger vulnerable to<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">a habitual addiction.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Repetitious expectations<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">deepened until dissipation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Again and again,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">straw hat, shirts, and tropical tide doors.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Occasional, suspicious privileges<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">approached impetuously.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">The foreseen incarceration,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">when fleeing from probation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">My life is a broken pencil.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Useless.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1665<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Waiting<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Waiting on my appeal, hoping that I win<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Hoping for the best, but I’m knowing I’ll hit the pen<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Did what I did, so it is what it is<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Got it out, she knows what time it is<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Momma, sorry for all this pain<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Separated for years, but our love is still the same.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Can’t stop, won’t stop. I took the whole blame<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 14.2667px;">Never left a brotha behind. I never said a thang<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1666<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Things Will Be Different<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Things will be different because I am going to make them different for myself. This is my 14th time here at the juvenile hall. I am tired of it. I eat the same food every day; I do the same routine every day. This gets old. I like to go to the beach with my family in the summer; and go snowboarding in the winter. I don’t like being confined and being told what to do by people I do not even know. I realize this is something I have brought upon myself. There is change, and the change is in me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I plan on getting out of juvenile hall and becoming somebody. Everyone has always told me I will never amount to anything. I’m always acting out or using drugs. “Following in my father’s footsteps,” as some people say. I am tired of always being here. I’m a smart individual, and I know I don’t belong here. The power is in my hands now and I can do it. I want to make my mom proud of me and by always being incarcerated, I cannot do that. However, by me going to school and focusing on my education, that is my way out. I can go to school and then move on with my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Negativity is always going to be there but if I can be the bigger person and walk away then that means, I am ready to change. When I get out, it starts with me. I will have a fresh start and if I want something, I will find a way to get it. If that is something positive, I can get it. I am going to stay away from the negative people I was always going around, and that is what I was doing wrong. I can change and I am ready to change and it starts with me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1667<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Life’s Choices</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Like a wave,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">opportunity comes and goes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">If taken wrong<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">you’re deprived of your surroundings.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">With a simple choice<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">you could be in blue and yellow clothes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">You think you’re out of the water,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">but in reality, you’re drowning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Only a portion know<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">the real struggle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">You could say I’m talking to demons<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">but truly it’s Satan.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Growing up I heard,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">“Be respectful and stay humble.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">They said don’t take a life,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">but I’m really contemplating.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">These are life’s choices,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">so I stay in my bubble.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I took life’s choices<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">and now they’re all instigating.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhicbDVwNzJZqJdY_7OGQkicKfmPXQKJSgER1kXvW5M6SyQ4YniuO8p1-FQggAy_HRCHmskvsupIDP2bMINio8OSEYPa01s15XXUz9pybQlRg51_1mJfWgiYNGbHSvimepakhgsMxoAMOmr/s1600/write+your+truth+logo.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="349" data-original-width="720" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhicbDVwNzJZqJdY_7OGQkicKfmPXQKJSgER1kXvW5M6SyQ4YniuO8p1-FQggAy_HRCHmskvsupIDP2bMINio8OSEYPa01s15XXUz9pybQlRg51_1mJfWgiYNGbHSvimepakhgsMxoAMOmr/s400/write+your+truth+logo.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1668<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Problems</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Sprinting for freedom<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m on my last lap<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m slowing down,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">but I know<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I should pick up my pace<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Bright lights shining<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">down on me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Loud noisy clicks<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">wake me up<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m high off my meds,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I can’t stay up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Put in the system.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Guards always yellin’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">They trip if you tellin’,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">but everyone does.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">They so young,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">tryna be thugs. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1669<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Leaving</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I’m ready to go home,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">but time’s going as slow<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">as molasses.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">13 more unforgiving Wednesdays<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">to go, until I leave this place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I wonder sometimes<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">how I will do on the outs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Will I do good?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Will I do bad?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">There’s only one way to find out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Hopefully they come<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">to this realization soon.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">It’s only been 12 months.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1670<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I Got It</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">The sorrowful phone suddenly went calm<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">lifeless sound encouraged panic.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Cold hearted inspectorate is closing in,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">the wickford bay door sprung ajar.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Ting-ting of numbers rapidly being punched,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">humble ringing returned,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">the elite wisteria light began to shine,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">pessimistic feeling of nothingness vanished.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiPlIhFGPzTVyA-e-3CUbQXwGBffKGvld0MEWct7QX4ebp6Mg1jlFKTcV9qpPgsX6oJJWYR0axlZhp9srAUYfFbj7aIKmxXK_bW9BFbdc2Xmm16ZQm89cQU8J9Zlv4h5cWldEtkFwQI0dA/s1600/5+Tower.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="389" data-original-width="292" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiPlIhFGPzTVyA-e-3CUbQXwGBffKGvld0MEWct7QX4ebp6Mg1jlFKTcV9qpPgsX6oJJWYR0axlZhp9srAUYfFbj7aIKmxXK_bW9BFbdc2Xmm16ZQm89cQU8J9Zlv4h5cWldEtkFwQI0dA/s400/5+Tower.png" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1671<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Reflections<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Juvenile Hall, it is not a fun place to be. Not everyone will experience it either. I on the other hand, have experienced Juvenile Hall Campus. Everyone makes the statement, “When I get out of the hall things will be different.” I admit to it as well. Making the statement a truth is difficult and a challenge. I believe I WILL do it; I love a challenge.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Something I will face when I get out is the temptation to start doing the same things I did to get me here. This probably will not ever go away. As I have been serving my time, I have been putting things into perspective. The most important reason for me not to become the same person I was before is to prove the people who said I could not do it, wrong. I realize too, that I have to be a role model for my younger siblings; they see what I do and might think it’s okay because they look for comfort in my actions as an older sister. The last reason that hits home with me is to do it for myself. I have seen and realize the difference in my life when I am doing well or bad. I love to live my life freely and in good or high spirits. I am an extrovert and an inquiring person. Being in custody hinders me from being that person. It makes me a person I do not want to be. I cannot express myself freely and move with the energy I have. There are just so many limitations to my personality and seeing that in here makes me want to make sure I live my life to where I’ll almost never put myself in a situation to end up back here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Coming into custody is a lot easier than staying out. It is not something I am proud of, I am just stating the obvious. It will be difficult but I love a challenge and this is playing with my freedom so I am sure I will avoid it at all costs. The first thing I have to work on is my environment, to end up in the same one that got me here would be insane and I would realize it in a split second. To prevent that, I would have to change it overall, along with my peers. Friends HAD a big impact on my decisions in the past. I always looked for a comfort in them from what I was missing at home. I also wanted to impress THEM, but now I have a plan and goals set in place that I didn’t before which makes a “friends” opinion IRRELEVANT! Now, I can take the initiative.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">I am 17 but will remain on probation until six days after my 18th birthday. By then, I want to see myself enrolled in College to start working on my business and real estate degrees. After junior college, I would like to transfer to Spellman or Atlanta University. I will graduate and become a licensed real estate agent and receive a business degree to help my mom (who has a culinary degree) open a restaurant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;">Being in here is all about the future! I think about the future. I do not want to come back or ever see myself in a cell being told: what to do, how much to eat, and when to shower. Everybody has the opportunity to take the initiative and make decisions that will take you farther away from coming back. To do that, you cannot lie to yourself, whether it be good or bad, only you can decide! It all starts with what you do to change when you get out.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-88126689865402680102018-02-27T11:02:00.002-08:002018-02-28T08:12:20.695-08:00<br />
<div class="WordSection1">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1611</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
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Exchange<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
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<span
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font-family:"Engravers MT",serif'>Placer, and Butte County Juvenile Halls<o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<a
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<o:p> </o:p></p>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember being five years old the last
time I saw my dad and I never took the time to get to know him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when I first started school
and cried for my mother until school was over.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember moving to ****** County with my
mom and her boyfriend and we moved in with my uncle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when my brother was born and
I got to hold him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember going to the hospital after I
broke my arm and also got three stiches on my chest. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when first got drunk and
threw up until I passed out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember the first time I felt the
cold metal rap around my wrist, and hearing my mom cry when I told her where I
was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember saying I would never get
locked up after I got out, but it didn’t go down like that. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember being locked up when my
little sister was born.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember all the time I will never get
back because of the choices I made. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1612<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Who am I?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">God I wish I
knew. I wish I had the slightest clue. I'll tell you who I'm not. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am NOT a
drug addict.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Even though
my actions from everyone's point of view shows or implies that I am. I've
realized drugs take a hold of you. I've seen it with my closest friends. I'm
glad to have been 17 and on probation, having something to help me from losing
myself. Young enough to have enough time to pick myself back up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was killing myself, slowly dying, but the
crank had me feeling like I was flying. Turns out the drugs where lying. I
don't want to live this way. Came from a good family a good home and I still
fell and ended up in a cell. I was smoking dope losing hope till one day I said
nope. I was fighting, fighting for what exactly? I have to do what's right. I
have no more fight if it's not to better my life. I'm glad I set myself free
(my mind anyway). Trying to find myself, I lost a lot of me, but I now know who
I'm not, if not who I am. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1613</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Yet
To Be Determined<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when I was just a boy, 8
years old, and my dad would have all the neighbors come over to box me. My dad
always thought I was a good boxer. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when I was 9 my mom and dad
got into a big fight and my dad swallowed a bottle of methadone pills. The
ambulance came and they had to pump his belly so he wouldn’t die.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">When I was ten I remember riding dirt
bikes for the first time. It became one of my favorite things to do in my child
hood. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">When I was 11 I found myself in the
hospital getting surgery on my appendix. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">When I was 12 I found Mary Jane. I
remember smoking all the time doing stupid shit. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">When I was 13 I remember finding new
friends and branching away from my family. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">When I was 14 my mom and I didn’t get
along anymore. We were always fighting and I was on the streets from then on. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">When I was 15 I started using meth and
my life spiraled downhill from there. I was now becoming an addict. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">When I was 16 I started getting incarcerated
and found myself in a cell a lot. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">When I was 17 I lost my first true love
and it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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is yet to be determined.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz0R647BSSMy_BcZlnczk42sxBZS9dt1Wn8T6q61RFIn5YbV7LP1Mxvb9gpPk7-xQ4VKP8pzqPfVfFrimO3h7S-LHWZ1y2dNxPxy-RIU8S6fgpodBnXnmN_yqt-wHe_VriQ57M1o63PTua/s1600/Writing+Exchange+Logo+%2528Unleashed%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="434" data-original-width="981" height="176" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz0R647BSSMy_BcZlnczk42sxBZS9dt1Wn8T6q61RFIn5YbV7LP1Mxvb9gpPk7-xQ4VKP8pzqPfVfFrimO3h7S-LHWZ1y2dNxPxy-RIU8S6fgpodBnXnmN_yqt-wHe_VriQ57M1o63PTua/s400/Writing+Exchange+Logo+%2528Unleashed%2529.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1614<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Remembering
Hard Times<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when my grandpa was alive. He
would take me for a ride in his motorcycle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember the good times with my
grandpa.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when he gave me my first
pedal bike when I was 7 years old.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when my grandpa took me to
the County Jail to go see my mom and dad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when my grandpa left the
house and came back with my mom because he bailed her out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember seeing my mom’s face when she
saw me come out of the house.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember seeing my grandma smoking
dope in the garage the night my mom go out of jail.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember waking up at 7:00 am to drive
to the jail with my grandpa to see my dad every Saturday.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember seeing my dad in my mom’s
house… then he didn’t show up for about a week… I began to worry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when I first asked my mom
where my dad was and she told me “he wouldn’t be coming around for a couple of
years.” I asked “why” and she said, “I can’t tell you Bubba.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1615<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">How
to Change<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember the first time I got locked
up and didn’t know what to think about it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when I didn’t have to trip
about being on my best behavior, or trippin about being bored.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when I wasn’t always looking
at blue doors and white brick walls. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when my mom left and never
came back. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember my dad going in and out of
prison and barely being a part of my life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when I didn’t have a 9:00 bed
time, and being able to leave when I wanted to leave. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when I could eat anytime I
wanted. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember 10 months ago when I was out
messing up and didn’t know what to do or how I could change myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when my boyz house got shot
at and going go retaliate. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember having what we did haunt me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1616<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Being
A Kid</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss the old days before I had to deal
with probation<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss being able to do whatever and
stay out as late as I want<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss going camping with my family<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember the time we went camping and
stumbled upon that bear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My sisters were
so scared.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember being up early with my
grandpa and reading the newspapers with him while drinking hot chocolate<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss going to the snow and building
snowmen<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when I tied my sled to my
quad and had my sister pull me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss the wild days<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember sneaking my dirt bike out
onto my street and riding it around town<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss staying up all night with my
friend<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss fishing with my dad<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss swimming<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss when I was younger<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss being a kid<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1617<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Unconditionally<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember being treated with respect<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss being with family that loved to
spend time with me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when my thoughts mattered to
people<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss being able to express myself
without having to get sent down to my damn cell afterwards<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember being FREE<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss music<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss waking up every morning, getting
on my phone and playing songs while smoking a cigarette or two.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss the way we put each other first<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss my family<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss the person that cares about me
and loves me unconditionally <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">OVERALL I miss you <o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
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<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="WordSection4">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1618<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Holding My Son<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss when my
mom gave a shit<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when
my dad<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">was alive<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss when we
used to be <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">a family<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when
my dad died<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss when we
used to be <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">happy<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when
I used to<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">be on the
outside<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss when my
brother was <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">alive but<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when
my little brother died<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss my
little family<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember
those were the times<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss my
little happy family now<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember it’s
time to start mine<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when
my son was born<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss holding
him all the time<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="WordSection5">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="WordSection6">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1619<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
Just a Kid<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss being able to do what I want<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss staying out late and running
amuck with my friends<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss swimming under the green bridge<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss getting free things from the
store<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss times when I was able to just get
up and go places<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss when I didn’t have to worry about
probation arresting me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss not having a care in the world
about trouble<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss being able to say “I’m just a
kid” to get out of trouble <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss my parents always having my back
and also being there when I was in deep shit<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss regular school and sports<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss hanging out with my brother and
doing fun things<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss being out…..<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidFI9wIjr0r_AGrWCim4mOPuJwXpaY4RvjScBDdhR04m0VDUdVMRZAPOU4VP6Ky_lsweSJw_x5iUlY-oaDyeorbvwvoJRJCD21Af6rMZfWIJBeytY3vKgsLy7-cm5H7zMU6oL3O-COIvVC/s1600/Gentry+Writing+Exchange.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="431" data-original-width="426" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidFI9wIjr0r_AGrWCim4mOPuJwXpaY4RvjScBDdhR04m0VDUdVMRZAPOU4VP6Ky_lsweSJw_x5iUlY-oaDyeorbvwvoJRJCD21Af6rMZfWIJBeytY3vKgsLy7-cm5H7zMU6oL3O-COIvVC/s320/Gentry+Writing+Exchange.png" width="316" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1620<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Living
Live Freely<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss being able to sleep in my own
bed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss my home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss being able to make me and my girl
some bomb food to eat while we relax and watch a movie.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss my girl.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss going to the mall with my brother
to buy a new outfit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss my bro.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss being able to wear my own
outfits.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss my clothes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss relaxing at the river with my
mom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss my mom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss going on trips with my girl and
her friend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss late night swims with my boys,
smoking and drinking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss it all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss being free.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss it a lot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="WordSection7">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1621<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Memory of Time<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I miss the breeze, on those calm summer eves,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I miss winter’s freeze, when I pull down my sleeves,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I miss all the snow, the way it just gleams<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Or the way that the trees, reflect solar beams,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I miss all the ways, the snowflakes just glow,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">And all those hot days, I played for hours for free,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I miss all those days, my mom told me to climb,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: times, "times new roman", serif;">For all those days are gone, in memory of time.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 193.5pt; tab-stops: 31.5pt; text-indent: -193.5pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1622<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-left: 193.5pt; tab-stops: 31.5pt; text-indent: -193.5pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Where’d My Showers Go?</span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="tab-stops: 4.5pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>I miss being
able to take long showers and not being woken up early just to wait for
everyone else to finish. I wish I could wake up at my own pace, and take my
long shower when I'm ready, not when the guards say I'm ready. I miss knowing
that after my shower I was clean instead of "Did I wash fast enough to be
clean?" I miss knowing when I shower I would have good water pressure and
a sense of how hot or cold I wanted the water. I miss having whatever scent
soap I wanted, or a different variety of cleaners to fit my needs. Overall, I
miss my shower. I miss being free.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1623<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Stuck<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">These last
four months haven’t been that great. It all started when I went to court and
found out that they wanted to send me to Stockton to go to cya facility for a
90 day evaluation. They told me they wanted to see how I would act in a more
serious situation. When I found out what they were going to do with me my heart
dropped and my mind went blank. They told me if I stayed out of trouble I could
come back, but if I got in trouble I would stay there. All I was thinking is
they don't understand what they’re doing. They don't really know what kind of
situation they are putting me in. I really only had two options. I could go
over there and tell them the truth, which would be that I don't gang bang and
that I want nothing to do with them…which would get me nothing but my ass beat
every time I came out my room. It would also get me a full time stay at the CYA
facility. I wouldn't be coming home anytime soon. Then there was option two,
which would be to go over there and lie. Tell them that I still gang bang and
that I am down to ride. Which would mark me as a front line soldier and that's
definitely something I didn't need. So I really had no idea what the hell I was
going to do. The court really set me up for failure without even knowing it. I wanted
to speak up and say what was on my mind and trust me I tried. But he didn't
even let me say three words before he stopped me and said nothing would change
his mind, this is what he wanted. So that's when I knew my life was ********, that
I was going to spend some time in CYA and then prison because the judge thought
he was doing the right thing. I guess I screwed myself over when I got tattoos
and labeled myself as a gang banger. I thought those tattoos were the beginning
of my life, not the one thing that was going to end it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1624<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">In
The System<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-right: 1.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I miss being able
to smoke a cigarette whenever I want. I miss being free from probation and
smoking and drinking without getting a violation. I remember spending time and
money with family and friends but it's hard now that I keep getting locked up.
I miss not having to look over my shoulder 24/7 for probation or GPD. I
remember those days being able to walk around, wherever I wanted to, freely,
without getting pulled over and searched. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-right: .75in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body" style="margin-right: 1.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I miss all my
clothes and females. I miss driving around town with my grandma telling me to
slow down while I'm going 15 MPH. I remember going to get cross faded with my
grandpa. I miss dabbing out while making beats on FL studios at my homie trap.
I remember robbing people and their houses just to get money or drugs. I miss
not knowing where or what juvenile hall is. I regret doing everything I did to
get in the system. I miss being out and free.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1625<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Shine<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss that
day when our lips first met, it was only a peck but it was truly the best.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss when
you would come over and I would hold you tight, whispering in your ear that I
wish you were mine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss
looking in your eyes and seeing that shine, being around you everything seemed
alright.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss that
day when you came over in that sparkly dress, when I picked you up and gave you
a kiss. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss
flirting with you over text, waking up every morning wishing you were right
next to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1626<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Remembrance</span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I only get
to look forward to an hour or two of free rec and an evening snack while I talk
to my mother about the day I will get released. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">These walls
do something to you. They not only strip you of everything you once had. But
they strip you of your sanity. You're individuality. The shit that makes you
feel special on the outs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">It gets
revoked more and more every time you here the loud click of that dead bolt lock
us in our cells which the staff call "rooms".<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Every time I
hear that common misconception of a room or cell I want to blurt out and
disagree and excrete all the pain and anger the walls make me feel and endure
on a daily basis. These are cells, never mistake them for a room again!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Even the
benefits of PE in the morning and occasional large muscle in the field is
taunting. The loud highway inflicting its tempting roar of freedom as cars pass
by. Just to be reminded of the deadly razor wire that surrounds our hour of
"freedom"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss the
soft touch of my mother’s embrace, the ever so comforting snuggle of my
girlfriends affectionate touch. I would give up anything to be able to be on
the outside of these tormenting walls, now, instead of my release date which
seems so far away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Then I
remember the choice that got me here in this dark unforgiving hell hole. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Then and
only then, I resent my split second decisions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br clear="all" style="mso-break-type: section-break; page-break-before: auto;" />
</span>
<br />
<div class="WordSection8">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1627</span></div>
</div>
<div class="WordSection9">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Missing<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss the
outs <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss my
dog <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">my Xbox <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">my mom <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss going
to a normal school <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss my
girl <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">my friends <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">my bike <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
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</v:group><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><img align="left" height="5" src="file:///C:/Users/sbailey/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image009.png" v:shapes="officeArt_x0020_object _x0031_55378728_572x381.jpeg Picture_x0020_1073741828" width="7" /><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">lts <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss my
dad <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">my hats <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">my shoes <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss
eating junk food <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss my
sweater <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">my
sweatshirt <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">my hoodies <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">my
watches<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="WordSection10">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1628<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Dear Mom<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember
when I was younger, the days were so much calmer. Not a care in the world. I
was growing up too fast and you tried to stop me so that I could have a
childhood. I wouldn't listen though because I was too stubborn back then. Mom,
I grew up because you needed me more than anything. You were lost and broken
and had nowhere to turn to at the time. I remember the night you came into my
room crying. I had no clue what to do but hold you and tell you it's okay
repeatedly. You acted so tough around us that I thought you never cried. All
you did was smile everyday so I thought everything was okay, boy was I wrong.
Do you remember what you told me when I got locked up the 3rd time? You said
"This is all your fault. I raised you better than this.” Where the hell
did I go wrong with you? I played those words in the back of my head for days
upon end. I cried every night because I was ashamed of who I am. I called you a
couple days later and you said I was a disappointment. I cried because I knew I
was a disappointment and I'm glad I realize it now rather than later when it’s
too late to fix all of this. Mom I'm sorry I'm a disappointment. I promise I'll
change, I'll make sure things don't stay the same. Mom I love you
unconditionally, I only wish I was present with you physically.</span></div>
</div>
<div class="WordSection11">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1629<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Gone<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember
chilling at the house on T Street and my lil brother walked in saying the
homies were here. I told him not to go, but he did, and five minutes later, I
remember hearing gunshots going off round after round and me running toward the
car that my lil brother was in. I remember pulling him out. I remember holding
him, pushing down on the gunshot wound to stop the blood from coming out. I
remember looking up and back down. I remember the last words he said. He told
me not to worry. I remember crying and telling him to hang in there and to say
with me but then he was gone. I remember going home with blood on my shirt and
hands. I remember my mom running towards me asking me what happened and I told
her he was gone. Mom looked back down the street. She saw the car and ran all
the way down the street. I remember thinking to myself that whoever did it was
going to pay for what they did. I remember chilling with my older homie when
two people ran up to me and said that my oldest brother found the car and lit it
up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember going to my older brother’s
court hearing when they gave him 25 to life. I remember thinking to myself that
I was going to change, but I didn't, I fell farther into the gang life. I
remember holding my first gun, walking down the block with it. I felt
powerful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember it all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYCzSuHqdQ4nXBgN6CcQiMiEpGW_GKMa40kyEkCiO3dp7ZlQ_3lFFvZ1GMhtO7JUXNBhubAtYcgb4DlQAuSqKtNX_W-f-Tb5mdmfqsDJ1VZoCqul2AjJiN2Zhp4s47yaYqhr1rk7Vd-uex/s1600/Ricky+art.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="387" data-original-width="580" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYCzSuHqdQ4nXBgN6CcQiMiEpGW_GKMa40kyEkCiO3dp7ZlQ_3lFFvZ1GMhtO7JUXNBhubAtYcgb4DlQAuSqKtNX_W-f-Tb5mdmfqsDJ1VZoCqul2AjJiN2Zhp4s47yaYqhr1rk7Vd-uex/s320/Ricky+art.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1630</span></div>
</div>
<div class="WordSection12">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Promise<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Momma, I’m sorry for all this pain I put
you thru<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I know damn well I shoulda listened to
you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">But I promise to God I’ma make it up to
you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">You was a single mother, you did it all
on your own<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I couldn’t have asked for better, you is
a hell of a mom<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Goin’paycheck to paycheck just to make
ends meet<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">You prolly sittin’ at home prayin’ I
survive in these streets<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">But we made it out the struggle<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Damn, we was in it deep<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Day and night we had to hustle<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">For just the things that was cheap<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Tough at time to get sumthin to eat<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Stay learnin’ the hard way<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">It taught me a lesson<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Can’t let my brother live this way<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Keep my momma from stressin’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">They sendin’ me away<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">It’s damn near a belssin’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">**** what you thought<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I’ma make it on my own<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Yeah, I got caught<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">But eventually I’m goin’ home<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Ouu they had me missin’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">They really had me trippin<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Had me locked up in a cell where they
knew I wasn’t livin<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Told’em I can’t do it but they aint
never<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Wanna listen<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Born in a struggle with no food in the
kitchen<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">To get the pain off my mind I was with
the homies<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Sippin<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Runnin up a check from all the places we
was lickin<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Had me up in fights and they really had
me hittin<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Had the stick up in the ship and they
really had me whippin<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Like<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Ouu they had me missin<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Had me locked up in a cell they aint
never had me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Livin<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Ouu they had me missin <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Had me going thru hell and they had my
momma trippin’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Ouu they had me missin’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I been sittin’ in a cell since I was <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Caught up in the field<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">So I’ve been thinking ‘bout my life and<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Ima tell you what’s the deal<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">About them lonely ass nights it was just<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Me and my steal<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Y’all don’t know about this<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Pain that I feel<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">All I can do is pray to God and I just <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Hope that he’s real<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>God, I just hope that you’re real<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br clear="all" style="mso-break-type: section-break; page-break-before: auto;" />
</span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1631<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Happiness<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember
when I was focused on dreams and thinking to myself that one day I'm gonna be a
star.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember
singing on a stage and feeling proud.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I also
remember when my mom smiled at me and told me she loved me and I just thought,
wow, I have the best mom in the world and she's the only person I need.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember
when I was the only cheerleader and I performed in front of hundreds of people.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss being
happy and I miss performing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1632<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I Miss My Old Life<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss the
love and care in my house<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss my
uncle I lost to a gun<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss my family<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss
riding my bmx bike in the hot sun till I'm dripping sweat<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss
swimming in ditches with my friends<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss
smoking and not caring what we did<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss not
sitting in a cell <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss not
stressing about the little things<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss feeling
like I'm not stuck in one place in my life<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss
riding around G town with my friends finding stuff to do<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss
driving like the roads have no end<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss
feeling likes there’s hope and a future for me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss the
times where I worked on cars with my dad<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss my
dad<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss the
times I wasn't scared to get locked up<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss my
old life <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1633<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Stuck in the Past<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">When I
reminisce on my old life, I try to remember the good parts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My family<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My home<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My school<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My free
life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Funny how
now it seems so far away, when in actuality it’s right outside those blue
doors. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss
waking up early to my brother getting ready for school. I miss making our
breakfast, and eating it on the couch while we listen to music or watch a few
episodes of the shows we like. I miss walking him to the bus in the morning,
bright and early.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss
watching the rain fall onto the trees and road, just listening.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss the
taste of Folger's, Rockstar, Marlboro reds, and fried chicken.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I miss
coming home from school to my baby brother. I miss sitting on the couch with him
and watching Peppa Pig and Caillou. I miss helping him clean up his toys (me
picking up his toys) just so he can dump them all out again when he's bored.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1634</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Stale Crackers and Cold Rice<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I remember those hot bullets and cold knives<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I remember those pointless arguments and big fights<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I remember when I was hungry, nobody had me, but when they were hungry, I had them<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I remember being all alone with nowhere to go<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I remember her telling me "just stay" but me saying no<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I remember the pain in her voice when she said "please don't go"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I remember all those nights she prayed I'd make it home<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I remember that fresh cool air and that Newport smoke<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I remember my big brother saying, "Now you’re a LOC"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I remember seeing my mom and promising myself I wouldn't do dope<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I remember thinking "That stuff ruins people, especially when you shoot it with a needle."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I remember those cold nights wondering if momma’d come home tonight<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I remember asking what's for dinner… same shit as last night, stale crackers and cold rice<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"></span><br />
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I remember thinking "One day I'm gonna make it, I got to do it , not just say it."</span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-85988474166623548882018-02-01T11:44:00.001-08:002018-02-01T11:44:08.876-08:00<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#1580<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Upside Down<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
from a family that loves me,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">from
bare feet on hot sun-blazing streets and long nights on the trampoline <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
from home cooked meals and pies on the holidays<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
sibling rivalry and having to choose which parent to spend the next holiday
with <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
from stolen cars and bad role models,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
fights between my parents,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
soda and sandwiches at Honey Run and every day bike rides with my dad,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Smoky
air and hidden emotion<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
from drugs and alcohol every night, dogfights, fistfights, and stabbings<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
drug deals and vicious attack dogs that are all too anxious <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from a new bb gun every so often<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
from a real Harley Davidson on my sixth birthday<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
elders and family members in and out of prison, drug over doses and funerals<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
from the fairgrounds my mom worked at <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Where
she got us in for the monster trucks, fireworks and fair rides,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
the long walk to the illegal swimming hole,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">A
house fire on a stormy night that turned my life upside down<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
strong armed robbery and attempted carjacking at the age of ten and assault and
robbery again at the age of seventeen <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
from The Regal Inn with top ramen and Tap every night, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Strong
relationships with my sisters but my brothers not so much<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from my cell number. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#1581<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Stranger<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from long days on the beach where I learned to swim. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From long walks with my dogs, Mona and Tupanga.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from sailboats and surfboards.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From learning to drive on race tracks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from foster homes and group homes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from knowing who I was to not knowing at all. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From being free then trapped like a caged animal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from these blue doors and white walls I've learned to
love. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From blue pants and a yellow shirt. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from the dreams of one day being free and never
returning to the system. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From loving and not being loved back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from having everything to having nothing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From living in a house to sleeping on the streets.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from good times and bad times.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From being the person everyone wanted to be, to the person
everyone hates. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From never looking for cops to always on the lookout.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from living in San Diego to living here. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From the innocent little boy to the criminal I am now. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from classic cars and trucks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From race cars and four wheel drives.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from being rich to being poor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From going to school to ditching every day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from a troubled childhood. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From being away from my family for eight years to living with
them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From never knowing my father to calling a stranger dad. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja0eZyl0tWfbT59CJBtrc_MoJwe3PjWc937-0rMEkMMjwsCI1JcX8EHiaRY2vYgQqhqBqFhobRbZw9lZ6D8R9zcT4HIMtnYCiLYNQW6lbtthMPZ6sgpzSp7oHV2Tll9y1wEhTxGuBOLh_S/s1600/Write+or+wrong.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="260" data-original-width="519" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja0eZyl0tWfbT59CJBtrc_MoJwe3PjWc937-0rMEkMMjwsCI1JcX8EHiaRY2vYgQqhqBqFhobRbZw9lZ6D8R9zcT4HIMtnYCiLYNQW6lbtthMPZ6sgpzSp7oHV2Tll9y1wEhTxGuBOLh_S/s320/Write+or+wrong.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1582</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Holiday with Family</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">If I could get one thing for Christmas this year,
I’d choose to be home with my family. This is the first time I won’t be able to
go home to be with my family for the holidays. I’ll miss being around my twin
brother for the holidays and waking up to my family. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Being in here and not having the choice to be at
home with my family really makes my heart ache, especially with my grandpa in
hospice care on his death bed. I will not get to spend another holiday with him
because I’m in here. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">It’s for the best I believe. I could possibly be
dead right now if I hadn’t been arrested that day. All I remember that day was
waking up in a hospital bed handcuffed to the rail and opening my eyes to a cop
in front of me. My alcohol level was four times the legal limit. They said if I
would have drank much more I could have died. I needed this wakeup call. It
really made me see what I want to do in life. I want to be able to make my
family proud of the person I have become, not upset and stressing every day
because I’m locked up. My goal is to finish school and do what I have to do to
be able to be somebody that they will be proud of.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#1583<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Where Is Freedom<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
miss real food<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
miss being in the dark<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
miss long, hot showers<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
miss smoking woods<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
miss my friends.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from waking up at a friend’s and starting to break up weed to roll up the
wood.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from waking up and turning on music.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
miss not feeling owned<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
miss feeling like I’m my own person, and I choose what I want to do for the
day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
miss real beds<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
miss listening to good music, not the same 15 songs on the radio.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
miss looking out my window and seeing the view, not brick walls.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
miss being able to talk on the phone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#1584<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m Ready<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from Budweiser and Marlboro Reds <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
hanging out at the river <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
a little town in the mountains to a little town in the valley <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from riding bikes all day to, “You’d better get home before the street
lights turn on.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from hunting, fishing and riding dirt bikes<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
archery and BMX.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
from, “I can’t do this and everyone’s against me,” to “I’m almost graduated and
thanks for the support”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
from more than just crime and drugs. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
from a happy outlook on my life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
ready to go home<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzyr2aGhnvG8gPrZwycgDc4kCVSLKUzpWRaUNhulyS2CKRiO47ddEs-iLu-WYU0fXex_t0knV0sadmBoifA6eiZS7mJK0ID3w4RrPdGmQ2DiDEnOKGE3XyScxW7VM-fTYmcYo5T_-AHjzy/s1600/IMG_4330.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="401" data-original-width="533" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzyr2aGhnvG8gPrZwycgDc4kCVSLKUzpWRaUNhulyS2CKRiO47ddEs-iLu-WYU0fXex_t0knV0sadmBoifA6eiZS7mJK0ID3w4RrPdGmQ2DiDEnOKGE3XyScxW7VM-fTYmcYo5T_-AHjzy/s320/IMG_4330.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1585<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Lost Memories<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
from beer cans and Slip’n Slides. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
a willow tree in the front yard with a treehouse in it <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">and
camping at Millsap Bar. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
a tall angry family including a parent with the initials that of M.A.D . <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
from loud and obnoxious people. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">And
“Quit tattle telling.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
from a happy go-lucky team and peanut butter-banana jet puff sandwiches. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
from getting bucked off horses. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">And
from looking at lost memories.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1586</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Good-by</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am writing this letter to let you
know I am leaving you in 2017. Although you made me feel good in so many ways,
you led me right into a hole. I depended on you to help me walk away from my
problems, but you only made me walk right into new ones. You were unhealthy for
me in various ways. I am focusing on my future now, and I definitely do not see
you in it. This new chapter in my life is going to shape me into a better
person. Nothing but positive things will come out of this. I am going to start
the career I have always wanted. I am going to make my family proud and not let
them down this time around. Don’t take it personal, but I am making a turn for
the better and I am never looking back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#1587<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Grape Stomping<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from family gatherings at the park where we would bar-b-que.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from wine country and grape stomping competitions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from the hikes in the cemetery where I lost my toy sword.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
playing in the streets till the streetlights came on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from walking around barefoot till my feet were blistered and black.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from every day A.A. meetings in the morning with my father.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from Thanksgivings at the community center.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
custody battles where my mother ultimately lost.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from skipping school to smoke weed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
getting drunk and breaking into cars and houses.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from committing crimes with friends.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
getting caught during an attempted robbery.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from changing my life from semi-positive to negative and back again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#1588<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Don’t Trip<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
facing years for what<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’ve
done<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Don’t
trip, Mom, it’s something we can<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Overcome<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">You
can blame me for why we had to<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Separate<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">If
it wasn’t for my choices, we wouldn’t<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Have
to live this way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
knowing I’ll hit the <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">pen,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Waiting
on my appeal, hoping <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">That
I win,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Mom,
I love you unconditionally,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
only wished I was present<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">With
you physically.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUsIOETEU3ATdliWkvQNZa5FvcJaqFXdV5GiRPNZEc5eqOWJ7o3SrkM52eZE7KEQUdE7-sl_deM-Svnp-n3TkOuQwbQUTWD9PYm6TQKmSygAIXbys-60Qq2STpfG0HRiPytgTyaZeb92G2/s1600/IMG_4362.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUsIOETEU3ATdliWkvQNZa5FvcJaqFXdV5GiRPNZEc5eqOWJ7o3SrkM52eZE7KEQUdE7-sl_deM-Svnp-n3TkOuQwbQUTWD9PYm6TQKmSygAIXbys-60Qq2STpfG0HRiPytgTyaZeb92G2/s320/IMG_4362.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#1589<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Happy Boredom<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from bicycles, flea markets and yard sales<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from the tall oak tree next to my front porch<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From having family reunions once every summer<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">And eating delicious home cooked meals.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from doing chores to avoid getting yelled at.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From "Do the dishes!" and "Make your
bed!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from going to my friend’s house every weekend to play
video games <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">And walking my brown skinny Chihuahua every morning<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from the time my friend tripped on my chair and broke
his arm.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">And getting laughed at for making the slightest mistake.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From going to church every Sunday and ending up slumped.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from one happy family and one boring life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1590<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Where I Am From<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from a place that isn’t a drug store but sells gas.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from a place where lighters are ordinary items found around the
house.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">The most valuable thing in that house was our T.V. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Our front lawn was dirt; the backyard was yellow grass fields that
stretched forever before you find the next place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from smashed cake in your face on birthdays.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From a place where boys aren’t men if they cry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from a family that is always arguing on holidays. I guess you can
call my family crazy, I do. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am eighteen. Third born out of four. My brother is a year younger and
my sisters are both older than me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from a place where we call our grandma Nana. And she raised all four
of my mother’s kids including me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from a place where Nana hated liars and she made sure to tell me. I
was only a child and she seemed like she didn’t like me, but that wasn’t the
case. My Nana loves me, she tells me all
time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from a place where we barely talked about our feelings. Now it seems
everyone is always worrying about me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Growing up where I am from they always told me I was just like my mother.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from where it snows close to all the time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from Top Romen noodles for breakfast, lunch and dinner.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I was eight years old when I asked where my mommy was, they told me she
was in custody. I wrote her every week.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from a place where everything seems the same as yesterday and
nothing seemed to change.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from long days that turned to lonely nights. I cried myself to sleep
because I knew tomorrow he’d still be there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from a place too dark to explain. I left my smile somewhere in the
past and never found a new one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from a place of love and pain. A place I wish I could forget.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am not the same little girl. I came from an ugly place, but I didn’t
let that stop me. Sure I might still be in custody but only for a couple more
weeks and then I’ll be free.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#1591<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Afloat<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from hot August nights and cold swimming pools where
pool noodles kept me afloat.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I'm from Orange juice and banana slices to chili Mac n Cheese
on the stove.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I'm from Gatorades when I was sick...drink it slow. I'm from
hot wheels and G.I Joes.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I'm from being the oldest, with two little bros.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From itching my eyes and rubbing my nose.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I'm from the allergy medicines everyday dose.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii_mUbqhVd4YUCklDGDy6W0DzVsx_ZeQGZDJkfqT3C7IvqyNAj3HE-gJvI0Qs5zYYHdqUQTtjFP3wTe80elLZhMyqj-OorH13AFPJtcZDAnYpLXOuwcjGOluayTDNTAO8EJQLNm4Sz2JA1/s1600/IMG_4331.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="373" data-original-width="510" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii_mUbqhVd4YUCklDGDy6W0DzVsx_ZeQGZDJkfqT3C7IvqyNAj3HE-gJvI0Qs5zYYHdqUQTtjFP3wTe80elLZhMyqj-OorH13AFPJtcZDAnYpLXOuwcjGOluayTDNTAO8EJQLNm4Sz2JA1/s320/IMG_4331.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#1592<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Me<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from brim filled ashtrays and cigarette stained walls.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From sleeping at the river and fishing all night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From "Make sure your right home after school", to
"Get your homework done!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from school bus fights and in-school suspension. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From hot-boxed contact highs. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">And riding around in a gang of bikes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I'm from where drinking and smoking at a young age was cool,
but now is a habit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from where traffic is a river of cars.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from me, that’s where I am from. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1593</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Childhood</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My childhood was rough growing up.
My dad was locked up in prison most of my life. He was doing ok until he and my
mom got really far into doing drugs. Then my dad and my mom split up, and not
much longer after that he went to prison. When my dad was gone my mom started
not coming home more and more. Then one day we got a call, my mom had been put
in jail too. A few years after she and my dad got out of jail and prison, my
mom had passed away of cancer. Ever since, when I looked back on my childhood
it seemed as if I was going down the same path as my parents, only at a younger
age. I got caught up into doing heavy drugs, then my girlfriend at the time
broke up with me. Now I’ve been here in juvenile hall ever since. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#1594<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Gravel and Dust<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from where the dirt is red and dry <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From annoying flies buzzing in the stable <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">and the road is nothing but gravel and dust <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I'm from playing with mud and making something useful<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Where the waterfall was the only place to hide and think <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From the smell of pine and red dirt <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Where the drugs were close but out of sight <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I'm from down to earth people, where the hippies roam <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Where clay is the most magical thing <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I'm from watering the "special plants" that smelt
good and we as children never knew their power <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Until now <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#1595<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I Am From NY<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from NY, from different items and different sorts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from the Hood.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from the weeds, the roses growing like they should.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from misconception and heart in my chest like a sharp weapon, from Nana and Mom
to Dad lookin’ at the past I never had.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from hard parts and dark hearts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
never goin’ nowhere and havin’ a fresh start.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from Rochester wit stalled haters<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
from a family like chocolate and jaw breakers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
my dad in prison, my mom drugin’ while livin’ and heartbeats skippin’.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from the mind but the thing I value most is time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicUDLJlh2AwWSrmueEBlXzmxVNPXZWJ4F2QNRPY6QeNbRk2JuneQ9N4DN2pME996cuCFiFW9q8F3YWl6wXJKyO4DxkRl9LB6tHPmcptTDni2V5zl3DCH2onxqXr1O2wYtOyWa2M8uqZN7k/s1600/W.E..jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="558" data-original-width="674" height="264" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicUDLJlh2AwWSrmueEBlXzmxVNPXZWJ4F2QNRPY6QeNbRk2JuneQ9N4DN2pME996cuCFiFW9q8F3YWl6wXJKyO4DxkRl9LB6tHPmcptTDni2V5zl3DCH2onxqXr1O2wYtOyWa2M8uqZN7k/s320/W.E..jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#1596<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">In My Room<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from tools and engine parts<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From going out on a boat and fishing<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From hamburger helper and ice water<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I'm from family gatherings and barbecues<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From bustling cities in small places<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">To the smell of exhaust and cigarettes in the air<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From not leaving the house and playing video games<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from eating in my room and watching tv while my parents
argue<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I came from a small house in a big place <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From one parent working while the other struggled to live<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am from the sounds of machines and the smoke they create<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#1597<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Better<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from Marlboro Red 100s, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">from
fields of grass <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">and
watching soap operas with the family. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from my grandpa cooking something new in our long island kitchen, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">from
BBQ steaks and homemade mash potatoes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from noisy streets in the day time, to silence at night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
gun shots in the air. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
the smell of wet concrete.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from boredom and waiting for my boys to slide through.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from parents in and out of jail and prison terms.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
from drug use and getting locked up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from changing to a better person to never going back to my old ways.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#1598<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I Am From City
Streets<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from city streets<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Corrupt
in many ways,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from the Block<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">People
can feel my pain,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Living
in the jungle<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Where
we’re all prey<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">People
know where I’m from<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Just
trying to get paid.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Since
a young child<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Always
hearing police sirens,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">These
cold city streets<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Filled
with poverty.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Walking
around as a child<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">The
air smellin’ like urine,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Hoppin’
over fences<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Signs
that say private property.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">As
a young child<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Lookin’
up to millionaires.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Walkin’
around the ghetto<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Stomach
filled with hunger.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">We’re
from the Block<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Our
dreams lead to tears.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">We’re
from the city streets<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Filled
with pain and anger.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1599<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Prison Mail<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from camel Turkish Golds <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Where
you find the cigarette butts laying around in the house<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
marijuana smoke in the air<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from antique plates on the walls and where they may fall down <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
the screaming and yelling<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from methadone and syringes being pulled back<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
overdoses to death <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from reckless driving and swerving in & out of lanes <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
severe injuries<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from no father around during my childhood <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">To
being a teenager and just starting to talk to my dad through mail to prison <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from driving to see my dad in prison every weekend to long naps on the way
back home <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
my mom crying because my dad’s locked up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from candy from the dollar store to wrappers on the ground <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
skittles and beef jerky.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from doing meth to being locked up every other week<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
14 months<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzzMYLXEVDN2clK59hmT3mUSIlTkhyYLMg13DUWymavFSJTOYzh3imOylCKOQYhH7LU8OAI4_Ewhsq-2BGpR8CVxvh7ilBGGLX26HYS4YPHZ5_HrV21SlAX-_IibumfBpk9WiapfdnwK6d/s1600/wish.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="440" data-original-width="823" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzzMYLXEVDN2clK59hmT3mUSIlTkhyYLMg13DUWymavFSJTOYzh3imOylCKOQYhH7LU8OAI4_Ewhsq-2BGpR8CVxvh7ilBGGLX26HYS4YPHZ5_HrV21SlAX-_IibumfBpk9WiapfdnwK6d/s400/wish.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1600</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Addiction</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Lost in smoke and drugs</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I let the drugs take control of me</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">It was very manipulating</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I wasn’t on the right path to
succession</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My life was upside down</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Nothing mattered but the need of
drugs</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">The people around me were affected
by my addiction</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">It was my best friend it helped me
with my feelings</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Like joy, sad, mad etc.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I needed it every day</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Dope and weed was my choice of drug</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I started stealing</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I was turning into a petty thief</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I knew I needed help</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I need to stay away from
distractions</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I didn’t have any one to turn to
for help</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But the drugs were the ones helping
me</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I got arrested </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Now I am in recovery in a substance
abuse program</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m going to stay away from my
addiction for a while</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#1601<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My Own Bedroom<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from dollar menu’s at fast food restaurants. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
B-lines and bicycle’s to school.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from unregistered cars and no driver licenses.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
stolen candy bars to stolen bottles of whiskey.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from the poor side of town with hand-me-down clothes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am now from my own bedroom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
a place that always has food and water.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">A
place with no worries about eviction.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from a job and college.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from a place with change.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
an offer of a new life and a better start.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1602</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Poem for Change</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I was athletic and outgoing. I
remember crying myself to sleep when my dad left. I heard the immigration cuff
my dad and throw him in a car. I saw the way the struggle shaped my family. I
worried about how we would make it in the world. I thought I was going to
graduate with my class but ended up in here. But I want to change.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am confident. I think anyone can
change. I need to go to college and start my career as a vet tech. I try to be
more open and hardworking. I feel anticipation. I forgive myself. Now I can
change.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I will make my momma proud. I
choose to change my perspective on life. I dream about owning a mansion in the
Bahamas. I hope to achieve my goals. I predict having a loving family and great
career. I know I will be successful. I will change.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#1603<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From A Lost and
Dark Place<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from beer bottles and cans.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
the bamboo plant on the counter that has been there for years growing inch by
inch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from blond hair and blue eyes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
football games on the T.V. and barbeques.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
trips to the river where they drink while I swim.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from sit down and be quiet or go to your room.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
don’t let the boogie man bite.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from Grossmont Hospital.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
beaches and tall buildings<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from bowls of raisin brand or captain crunch cereal every morning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
my step dad getting jumped and moving me and my brother far away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from a blue bin full of old family pictures collecting dust in my closet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
moving in with my brother because I didn’t want to act right.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
getting locked up and being put on probation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am going to be from 14 months locked up, to a changed person.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
a lost and dark place. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#1604<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">The Smell of Wet
Cedar<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from a childhood of abuse<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">And
a drug addicted dad <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
parent’s fighting on the daily<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from the smell of chemicals <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">my
dad making honey oil with butane and acetone <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">it
always gave me a headache<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
from long hikes were the smell of wet cedar would make my day <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">From
not very good people but a mom who was the best<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">She
got me to school every day in the same old mini van <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
from my first school fight and loving it so much I did it again<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from blue doors, white walls, and short showers <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">And
getting yelled at to go work out every day<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
am from incarceration and thinking about my release<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="Body">
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<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1605</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">R.I.P.</span></u></b><b><u><span lang="IT" style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"> Papa</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">You
were there when I was young and you were there when I was down, took me round
the town and showed me everything I’m about. I’m missing all the times you took
away my frown. I love it that you taught me everything has an amount, every
moment you were there I was always safe and sound, and the times that were not
the last would always count.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
love you papa and I’m always gonna miss you, sometimes I wake up in the morning
thinking I can kiss you. I see you in my sleep and I hear you in my head. I’m
living what you taught me even though you are dead. I’m hoping that you’re
proud that I’m coming to a man. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Papa,
you’re so smart making money on your bed, loving and consoling to and from the
very end, I’m always thinking of the things that you did and that you said. Get
your education, make your money, and drive a Chevy, another thing you taught me
is that life is somewhat heavy. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Rest
in Peace my papa man, I really wasn’t ready, I’m waiting for the day I can say
I’m living steady, I know if you were here with my stepdad it’d be deadly, that
day with no confetti…</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#1606<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My Choice<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
used to complain</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdS2xNAY5z4zK-IBJ5KqdwpJI2c8iWdywx-Ju86brEdW-vJhKJuJIA0e7Ocv-1Qn3UsYmsGmZmOH4w0cFbkm7a9BnFCaz1RSBapKmfsD3K30NmfwfE0fXThFXGyzppNRjMgRLktTAWAfRr/s1600/IMG_4334.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="470" data-original-width="608" height="247" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdS2xNAY5z4zK-IBJ5KqdwpJI2c8iWdywx-Ju86brEdW-vJhKJuJIA0e7Ocv-1Qn3UsYmsGmZmOH4w0cFbkm7a9BnFCaz1RSBapKmfsD3K30NmfwfE0fXThFXGyzppNRjMgRLktTAWAfRr/s320/IMG_4334.JPG" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Then
I realized<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m
the one to blame<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Life
isn’t always fair<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">It
is what it is<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Now
I don’t care<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
say I’m gonna change<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But
am I really?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Now
I’m stuck in chains<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Hopefully
one day<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
could feel happy<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Instead
of always feeling pain<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">What
do I got to lose<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Or
gain<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Either
live a legal life or <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">The
game.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1607</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Reflection on Choices</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">If it’s one thing I’ve learned
about life and always knew, it’s that life is made up of choices. You choose
what you do. Always remember the consequences of your actions whether it be
good or bad. Also, be mindful that sometimes doing what’s always easy isn’t
always the right thing. Life may not always be easy but it is never impossible.
Sometimes the easy way isn’t always the only way. Even though I kind of grasp
the concept of these real life scenarios, I’m still learning to put them into
practice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#1608<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">A New Start<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">What
I want to leave behind is the hall. I’m always either here or at boot camp or
group homes. I want to say goodbye to all the mistakes I’ve made. I’m getting
sent to a group home, and I have a chance at a new start. I want to just get
all this past me and move on and really start living my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1609</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Real Love Is Hard To Come By</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">They say real love is forever. I don’t know the
exact definition of the word, but my baby’s father is as close as I’ve come to
true love. When we broke up my dreams were shattered. I had his kid at
thirteen. I was young, how was I to know if he’s really what I wanted. The
harsh reality is I was barely a teen and I just wasn’t ready to face reality. I
f****** up and left everything I had for nothing. I got locked up only a couple
weeks after the break up for fighting. My daughter was nine months old when she
came to visit me here in juvie. When I got out the first time he and I tried to
work our differences out for our daughter. It didn’t work out; I wasn’t ready
to stop doing me.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">He told me to wake up and make a change already. I
loved him and I still do, but I am afraid it’s too late. I don’t know what I
was thinking, but I know what I need to do to get my family back. I’ve been
locked up since June 2017 and I know my daughter misses me. So no matter what
kind of change I need to make, I am on my way to achieving it. My family may
never be the way I dreamed it’d be, but as long as my daughter loves me NOTHING
is going to stop me.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">2018 is just beginning. I can’t wait to go home in a
couple of weeks. I am going to show my family what amazing things I can do when
I set my mind to it. I am less than twenty-nine credits from graduating then
it’s off to college for me. Relationships aren’t my thing, they never work out
for me, but if I ever find the kind of love like the kind my daughters father
showed me, I’ll never let it go to waste.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">No love is stronger than the love a Mother and
daughter share. My daughter is the love of my life.</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="Default">
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#1610<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">The Day That
Changed My Life<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">One
day I woke up to realize at the end of the day I lost the homie who I thought
would be there. The next day, I realized after he came over, something was wrong.
I got a weird feeling and five minutes went by. I looked up to see five people
walking up. Then it went by so fast. My homie took off running. All of a sudden
all I remember is he looked back and fell to the ground. Then I realized my
life changed from there. I remember
every day, don’t take your friends for granted cuz’ they’re not always gonna be
there when you want them to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-22607374655869508392017-12-22T11:56:00.002-08:002017-12-22T11:56:23.600-08:00<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1534 <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">On
the Outs to the Ins…<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Home <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I wake up, shower, eat, and go to
school.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m happy I see my friends and teachers.
Lunch rolls around and Taco Tree is the spot where we all laugh. We share good
and bad times. After school, I head home. I wouldn’t call it home really. It’s
my dungeon. My aunt would hit me the moment I walk through the door. She would
turn me into Cinderella. My sisters would see this but be so scared that they
wouldn’t say anything. The moment I get to walk the dogs, I pray on my favorite
rock. I pray that I will be safe soon, that my life isn’t this bad. When my
sister would walk with me, she would pray too. It’s sad that I have to think
that school is my refuge.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Locked Up<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Where I am now. I feel safe, better. I
wake up, don’t have to worry about my aunt. School is not the same, but it gets
me going. I am reminded that GOD is always with me. I don’t have a reason to be
afraid. I feel safe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1535<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Not OK</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when I was young and had so many goals
for myself. I remember I would tell myself “I won’t turn out like them” when I
would see people messing up their lives with drugs or alcohol.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when I would get disgusted by the smell
of beer, seeing my folks drink it like nothing, would make me sick.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when I would hear my mom sobbing in the
other room after her and my dad got into a fight.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember my mom pulling me into her room telling
me immigration got my dad. I remember having to move out of our nice home into
a two bedroom apartment because the struggle was getting serious.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember the numbness in my body alcohol gave me.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember loving the thought of “fast money” not
caring about anyone’s opinion. I remember telling myself I’m “okay” to drive.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1536<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My Goal</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">If I could get one thing for Christmas this year,
I’d choose to be home with my family. This is the first time I won’t be able to
go home to be with my family for the holidays. I’ll miss being around my twin
brother and waking up to my family. It really makes my heart ache, especially
with my grandpa in hospice care on his death bed. I will likely not get to
spend another holiday with him because I’m in here. </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">It’s for the best I believe. I could possibly be
dead right now if I hadn’t gotten arrested that day. All I remember is waking
up in a hospital bed handcuffed to the rail and opening my eyes to a cop in
front of me. My alcohol level was four times the legal limit; they said if I
would have drunk much more I could have died. I needed this wakeup call. It
really made me see what I want to do in life. I want to be able to make my
family proud of the person I have become, not upset and stressing every day
because I’m locked up. My goal is to finish school and do what I have to do for
them to be proud of me.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHjnB5fwP3KikCO7WsZrDLRnZ_3hUN71C4rxfMFBzBMR4zqMjHHt17-wnQcVdttHRnz4P_nG-aZqP2cIKaVQW6gRiIhLwkmu7eUxqusHVhOuEkeLhfx-Y2qSoQQIaHajRVBTde6Ws7koMl/s1600/dragon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="511" data-original-width="520" height="314" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHjnB5fwP3KikCO7WsZrDLRnZ_3hUN71C4rxfMFBzBMR4zqMjHHt17-wnQcVdttHRnz4P_nG-aZqP2cIKaVQW6gRiIhLwkmu7eUxqusHVhOuEkeLhfx-Y2qSoQQIaHajRVBTde6Ws7koMl/s320/dragon.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1537<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Guards
in my Vision<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Guards in my vision,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">D.A. got it ****** up. Let my I’llas
walk<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Listen,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">The shit you take for granted<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I gotta ask for permission<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Of course I’m feeling pain<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m on my way to prison,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Choose your own life<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Don’t let this life choose you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">My life’s full of pain, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">but that’s somethin’ I’m used to<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1538<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Last Trips</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when my family and I went to Los Angeles.
We went to Knott’s Berry Farm. It was a good time to bond with my mom. It was
one of the last trips we took before I started getting locked up. I just
started to slip and started hanging around the wrong group of people. If I
never did that I would still be with my family enjoying the trips and holidays.
I could be with my family right now instead of being locked up and having to be
away from them during a time when my mom was going to get married and my sister
went to her first prom and my other sister turned nineteen. Being locked up has
made me miss some of the most important times of my life. I turned fourteen in
here and I’m going to get out when I am fifteen. Being locked up is just a
little roadblock in my life that I have to pass through to pursue the things I
want to do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry # 1539<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Things
my Heart is Afraid to Admit Outloud<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">My heart is afraid to admit that it is
my fault that I’m in here. It was my decisions and actions that led to the
consequence that I am serving today. I always put the blame on other people or
things. I often dwell on the past and grieve over the wrongs in my life, but
deep down I know it’s up to me and only me, to change my future, to make my
momma proud, and to hang with the right crowd. The mind is like a net; you can
usually pull it up and see that it is full of fish but often don’t realize the
miles of water that went through it without sticking; like when I trap all my
positive feelings and let the negative ones seep out of my mind’s net because
my heart is afraid.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1540<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">One Wish for Christmas<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">If I could get only one thing for Christmas, I would
ask for the chance to tell my dad good-bye before he died. I would love to have
this chance because when he died I only got to talk to him over the phone. At
this time, he was on life support and he couldn't respond to me while I was on
the phone. When he died I was nine years old. The craziest part is now I'm
locked up at 17 and my release date is December 17th. This year he will have
been dead eight years. I have learned to better cope with my grief over all of
this time. When he first died I was in the fourth grade and I was depressed. I
would turn my depression into anger and take it out on other people because I
was so young and had no other way to deal with it. Now that I am older and more
mature, I try to talk to someone such as my clinician when I am feeling down or
upset. Dealing with grief is hard for everyone, even grown adults. I would like
this even if it was the only thing I could get for Christmas. </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1541</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
Remember</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember the day I found out I was pregnant just
like it was yesterday. I was upset because I didn’t want a baby, because I am
too young and because I knew I wasn’t ready to be a mother. Now that I’m
heading towards my due date, I’ve realized what a great blessing it is to have
another mini me moving inside me. Knowing that now I won’t be alone but,
knowing that she is the reason for me to stay out of Juvenile Hall and be a
young successful mother.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">When I was four years old my mother passed away due
to a car accident. It was a very hard feeling to process. I don’t want my
daughter to go through the same feeling of losing a parent just because I can’t
behave myself. Now that I am here waiting upon my released date I think about
choices I want to make not for myself, but for my daughter. I want to
accomplish a lot of things in life and become someone in life so that I won’t
have to depend on anyone. I will always remember my past, but I will also
remember that I have chosen the correct steps to change my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8pl-rCAEzqqUDPUq-Pn25YbQQ1CZ7AkFBVjHZZAFc40CtqYqdUO4c7_DQE0n-XcGkYWnKAlUrVa6bTIZB1LeWmPysUCvw1qZl3mi0Sqzrj8cNlYIf9WqhUx0jO72Hq3vukD_MXhLfpQsl/s1600/tree.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="553" data-original-width="432" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8pl-rCAEzqqUDPUq-Pn25YbQQ1CZ7AkFBVjHZZAFc40CtqYqdUO4c7_DQE0n-XcGkYWnKAlUrVa6bTIZB1LeWmPysUCvw1qZl3mi0Sqzrj8cNlYIf9WqhUx0jO72Hq3vukD_MXhLfpQsl/s320/tree.png" width="249" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1542<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">On
The Daily<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">At Home: I wake up in a comfortable bed
around 9:00 A.M. to take a ten minute shower.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">In the Hall: I wake up on a two inch
thick bed with a stiff back around 6:15 A.M. to my door popping open to work
out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">At Home: After I shower I get dressed, and
self-medicate before school if I even go.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">In the Hall: After I work out I eat
breakfast and go to P.E. then I take a three minute shower.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">At Home:
If I don’t end up going to school I get on the book and bang my bros
line.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">In the Hall: After I take my three
minute shower I am forced to go to school or I’ll get discipline.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">At Home: Once my boy is awake he swoops
me and we hit the west or the MC.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">In the Hall: After school I use the
phone and rec until five.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">At Home: When we hit the west we post up
on 1<sup>st</sup> and wait for something to pop off.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">In the Hall: At five we eat dinner then
go down till six.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">At Home: In the afternoon we are usually
a couple heads deep and we just smoke dro and bust sales.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">In the Hall: At six we get popped out
for homework hour and program.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">At Home:
Around eight I usually go to the house to shower and get ready for the
night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">In the Hall: Around eight we have large
muscle then rec at 8:30.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">At Home: We usually end up in college
town at night to function then usually end up back at the house.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">In the Hall: At 9:00 I go down and read
till I go to sleep. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1543<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">If
You Knew Me,</span></u></b><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"> <b>You Would Know</b></span></u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Promises are kept<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Secrets are never shared<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Hearts are never broken<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Songs are sung and made<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Trees are climbed<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">People are loved <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Money is given <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Respect is earned<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">To be Christian is a gift<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Love is a treasure<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Giving up is not an option<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">People have died<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Relationships are torn<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Responsibility is taken<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Education is everything<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Success is possible. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">You fall before you fly<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Life is a challenge<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Call yourself what you call others<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">To use time wisely<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Strength is in my heart<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Friends are earned<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Inspiration is everywhere<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Find your own light, be your own star<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Your worth of anything<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Be yourself<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">When you’re at your weakest, don’t give
up<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">If you knew me, you would know…….Lead
your life<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry # 1544<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Life
In vs. Out<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Here I wake up every morning and brush
my teeth right away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">At home, I wake up late and go on my
phone before I get out of bed and then smoke a bowl. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I would eat cereal but here I struggle
to eat my breakfast. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I would let my dog out, feed him, and
give him water. Here, I don’t have a pet to take care of. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">At home, I would watch TV, whereas here
I sit in my cell. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I would then make lunch or my dad would
get me food. Here I eat slop, then go back to my cell. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Then at home, I would hang out with
friends or play video games or smoke. Here, I eat go back to my cell and sleep.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Home I would cook for my dad, and I feed
my dog. Here I do the same routine and sometimes can’t even eat the food. I go
to my room and sleep.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1545<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Hurt<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Hurt. I have been hurt so many times.
Hurt runs through my body. Hurt determines my future. Hurt will never go away.
As much as I ask and pray, hurt is here to stay. Friends, family, everyone dam
near hurt me every day. What can I do to make this pain go away? I try to
forget and forgive, but somehow it comes back to stay. I dwell on pain, hurt,
and hate. It’s all I have known. Maybe one day it will change, but for now it
is here and won’t go away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10.0pt;">1546</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Making
a Difference</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I feel very upset and disappointed with myself
lately, because I have missed my little sister’s birthday for two, going on
three years in a row now. The first year I missed her birthday, I didn’t
realize how much it meant to her until she actually told me. It hurt me when
she told me, “You missed my birthday.” I couldn’t think of how to respond, so I
said, “I love you.” Last year around this time of the month, I was on the run.
I was afraid to show up to my little sister’s birthday because I thought I was
going to get locked up if I went back home. Now I’m locked up again and will be
missing another of her birthdays. </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I wish I never missed a holiday or birthday with my
family. It mentally eats me alive knowing I can’t go back in time and be there
for every memorable moment, holiday, and birthday that I have missed. Now that
I have realized how much I have hurt my family, I have finally forgiven myself
for my wrong doings. I am going to make a difference in the choices I have made
for the past three years. I will finally be home for Christmas this year and I
couldn’t be any more excited!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10.0pt;">1547</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Making Moves<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My
old days on the outs I would wake up to the smell of fresh cooked food and the
smell of freshness when I hopped out the shower. I’d pop on my new kicks and
clothes and bounce out the pad, heading to school. In the hall I wake up to my
loud ass door getting popped and some bright lights that strike my eyes. It
feels like getting spot lighted by a cop at night. At home I would be able to
take a long shower. At the hall it's only three min per shower. I could use as
much shampoo as I want and body wash because in here every week you have to
depend on your behavior to get canteen. On the outs I just need to go to the
store and buy some. I hate causing problems in here because you wouldn't be
able to get down with whoever for more than a couple of seconds. On my block it’s
on sight, with whoever you messing with, but that's on the outside world. The
Juvie world is weak. One day I slipped up on a move and got my ass locked up
for damn good. My only wish is to be with my family and my boys. I been here
almost a year and it's the same routine every day: the food, clothes, and staff
are all the same every day. I'm not with that. The food is nothing like home. My
bed and my clothes here are nothing like home. I pray every day for God to give
me a better life. I wasn't planning to do time. I was only 14 when I hit 25 to
life. I pray for all my dreams to come
to real life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNy3AC76tqKmxPfgVjtSUepJBSd7w7sbEqbu9SfE2S55Di2ZkFZH_5e1T7kKFxNq8AiD88nS1LuKIziVu_TFWFVGtXguFhdhSKVxQnUsjyULt4lTn1CiwZo8KbiqgE1a14rashOq-9-mG4/s1600/car.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="320" data-original-width="460" height="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNy3AC76tqKmxPfgVjtSUepJBSd7w7sbEqbu9SfE2S55Di2ZkFZH_5e1T7kKFxNq8AiD88nS1LuKIziVu_TFWFVGtXguFhdhSKVxQnUsjyULt4lTn1CiwZo8KbiqgE1a14rashOq-9-mG4/s320/car.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10.0pt;">1548<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Love and Hate<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Love Is To Hate As Hate Is To Love</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I love the cold rain</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But I hate watching it from the window pane</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I love a nice breeze</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But I hate that time will never freeze</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I love to sing</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But I hate the shameful pain my father would bring <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I love my mother</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But I hate that our problems are always unbothered <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I love this time when winter is near</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But I hate how when I think of death I won’t shed a
tear <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I love to have fun</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But I hate that my version of fun requires me to be
on the run <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I love to always be out</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But I hate that I can never get my point across
unless I shout <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I love to roll dice</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But I hate that my life seems like a puddle of lies</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I love to feel alive</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But I hate that I’m not quite sure what to do with
my life <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I love the feeling when I win</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But I hate that I only do good when I’m locked in <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I love who I have become</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But I hate that I gave up all my freedom</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Love is to hate as hate is to love</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But I am changing my life for the one I truly love</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10.0pt;">1549<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Not My Favorite Place<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
don't want to be locked up in juvenile hall. I want to be free and on the
outside world. I want my bedroom, not a small locked up room with the lights
always on with a creepy looking sink and toilet in that same one room. The
softness and sweet scented smells with the TV playing and my dog to comfort me
laying by my side is what I want. Not a stiff blue mattress that lays up on
white bricks and cement with raged blankets and sheets. I want to be in a
houseful of people I know and love, not in a pod in juvenile hall with a bunch
of kids I don't know. Especially not knowing what there in here for. That’s
scary. My hour long showers that I usually take in the comfort of my house in
my decorated bathroom is a time I wish I could go back to. Now were up to 6
minutes in a weird unsanitary shower that everyone uses. Instead of having a
meal with my loved ones, I’m with complete strangers. Is that really what I
want? There are consequences to my
actions. I don't want to be locked up in juvenile hall. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1550<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Limits
and Rules<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I’ve been in the hall for 7 months and I
wake up every morning to the sound of a click (my cell door)! When I’m at home
I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock telling me it’s time to get up and go
to school. In the hall breakfast comes at 7:00 am on hard plastic trays. And at
home breakfast is in the fridge, going to get cooked by me, not by other
people. In the hall we have to take a 3 minute showers and at home I get to take
however long I want. At home I can eat
whenever I want to eat but in the hall I cannot eat when I want. I have to wait
until it’s time. Since I’m locked away I can’t see my girl unless I’m on a T.R,
but when I’m home I get to see her whenever I want or whenever she wants to see
me. In the hall you cannot be who you want to be. You have to be the person the
staff want you to be. In the hall I can’t wear what I want to wear. I have to
wear a uniform.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10.0pt;">1551</span><span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Light Inside Dark
Rooms<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">The five things I’m thankful for today is waking up
on this fine Friday morning. I’m just really thankful for my lord and savior to
be able to wake me up and give me the strength to get through the day and serve
my time. Another thing I’m thankful for is being able to know my release date
because before I was just waiting for court. This is my first time being locked
up and I was fighting for a few years. My mother was really sad. I’m really
thankful I only got 365 days. I just prayed and prayed that I would get out
soon and the one year is better than four years. I’m really thankful for
everything juvenile hall gives us. The classes, the meals, the shelter and the
opportunity to be able to graduate and get certain certificates. Even though
it’s not the best food they still work hard to feed me and give me the protein
I need. I don’</span><span lang="FR" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">t like being here, but I have
to make the best out of my situation. I</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">’m going to graduate in
here and get my welding certificate and my fatherhood certificate. I’m just
thankful to be able to go home next summer. I’m really thankful my employer is
holding my spot so when I get out I have a job.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1552<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Weed
and Cigarettes<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">At home, I am always with friends, in
here I am always alone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">At home, I am always awake, in here I
have a bedtime.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">At home, I can say what I want, in here
I get room time for cussing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">At home, I always smell weed and
cigarettes, in here it smells awful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">At home, I can leave when I want to, in
here I cannot leave at all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">At home, I chose what I want to eat, in
here we go by a lunch menu.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">At home, I can fight as long as I want,
in here, the longest, 30 seconds.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">At home, I am home, in here I am
incarcerated. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1553<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Downward
Spiral<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I was 14 and messing up my life pretty
bad. Doing drugs and robbing people for anything. Then when I turned 15 I found
my first love. I was so in love with her. She kept me from doing bad things. I
quit smoking and quit doing pretty much everything. I eventually moved in with
her and her parents. We were dating for going on 8 months and we were so happy.
I was doing so well. And then out of nowhere we broke up. I started to mess up
again. Smoking and robbing people. And at the time I really didn’t care about
anything. I was heartbroken. At the age of 16 I stole a car and got locked up
the next day. For that I got put on probation. Ever since then I’ve been in out
and out of the hall. I am now 6 months away from being 18 and doing 14 months
for some stupid stuff. Ever since the breakup I have been on a downwards
spiral. It sucks, yeah, but now I’m slowly climbing out of the hole I’ve been
digging myself. I’m going to come out a better person, no doubt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1554<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Bored,
But Sober<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">At home I wake up at or around 10 am and
smoke a blunt, eat a bowl of cereal, take my shower and go to my girl’s house. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">In the hall I wake up at six, take a
piss and go to workouts. We come back and take it down for like 30 minutes and
come out after 30 minutes to eat breakfast.
We go down for like 20 more minutes and come back out for school.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">At home I’m always doing something dumb
like trying to go steal stuff or do something because I get really bored. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">In the hall there’s really not that much
to do besides playing video games/ cards or basketball.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">At home I’m under the influence of all
sorts of drugs and drunk and other stuff.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">In the hall I’m not under the influence
of anything. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1555<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Much
Different<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">This is the clean version of what I do
on the outs. This is how my day starts
on the outs. I wake up usually at 8 to 10 o clock and get up and eat a bowl of
cereal. After that I usually lay around doing nothing for a while and then
sooner or later I take a shower, brush my teeth, and go chill in my living room.
After a while I hit up some of my friends and chill with them, bump music and
joke around. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">My day in juvenile hall is much
different. In here I wake up at six o clock and work out for about 40 minutes
and then I go back to my cell and wait until breakfast. I eat breakfast and
either go to dish crew or go back to my room. After that at 8 o clock I go to
PE when PE is over I go back to my room
and take a shower after I shower at 9:15 I go to school and I’m in school until
2:40. This is the same routine every day. It gets old but hopefully I can learn
from this experience and learn to stay out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1556<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">My
Crazy Life</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I have been incarcerated for about three
and a half months now and I am starting to realize I’m not getting out anytime
soon. Now due to my charges, I have to
put my life on pause and it sucks, but, it is probably the best for me and my
health.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I was in an unhealthy relationship,
fighting with my girlfriend to the point of violence. It was really taking a toll on me, plus I was
using meth very heavily and it didn’t help.
In fact it got me where I am today, sitting in a 6x10 cell. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Before I came in here I was at a very
low point in my life. My siblings and I
don’t have a very good relationship with each other. I tried to have a relationship with my family
but I couldn’t find a way to form a healthy relationship with them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Now while I am in here I am trying to
touch bases with my family and get back to my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilQ7w_NSTy7BhxYLwce0Az-KdlPWxr5FjE0qReOM3-lkou3tON9_Pb_jdsnzaDB19hhlUaBU7NARBslARDPkLUeI4MFuekZl0XCS45d_abSkHl816cR3nJyKXYaMTWd-CRqSgOTquOwKHt/s1600/plane.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="460" data-original-width="604" height="243" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilQ7w_NSTy7BhxYLwce0Az-KdlPWxr5FjE0qReOM3-lkou3tON9_Pb_jdsnzaDB19hhlUaBU7NARBslARDPkLUeI4MFuekZl0XCS45d_abSkHl816cR3nJyKXYaMTWd-CRqSgOTquOwKHt/s320/plane.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1557<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Bluetooth
and a Shower<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">When I wake up around 9:30am, I smoke a
cigarette while I check my phone. After that I throw on my jewelry, a shirt and
some music while I walk through the house to the back porch. By the time I wake
up my sister, everybody else is usually already awake. I tell her to come
outside with me and have a cigarette. Once we’re out there I put another song
on because the first song is over, then I start breaking down tree for a blunt.
After that I roll one as she usually rolls one and we bond over music and
marijuana. I then grab my Bluetooth and shower, brush my teeth, shave and get
dressed and go walking or get picked up…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">
In here I wake up when they tell me to, to do what they tell me to. The
lights come on at six & they’re bright as hell. Then I go outside &
workout and sometimes it’s hella cold outside. Then comes breakfast, PE, three
minute showers and the school day until 2:45. If I’m lucky I’ll get a nap in
until dinner. After dinner we are popped out to go back into the classroom for
homework and programing. After programing we go out to the gym for a game of
basketball or something and then I’m in my cell for the rest of the night. I
wake up and do the same shit, day after day…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="Default">
<span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10.0pt;">1558</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">What
Was Once Lost Is Now Found</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I was hurt and broken but that didn’t bother me.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember seeing him smoking a stoggy.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I heard him say he loved me.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I saw him buy a sack and snort it.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I worried I wasn’t good enough. Now I know I never
will be. I thought it was my last birthday</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But, I want to change.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I am not a “</span><span lang="FR" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">savage</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">” queen snorting green
Xanax.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I think life is what I make it. Take one step at a
time. I need to go home to my family, I need to see my baby girl. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I try to forget his voice and how lovely it sounds
when he said he loved me. I feel happy now that I’m no longer in love with a
phony. I forgive myself for thinking he loved me. I look back to the day we met
and think of it as some kind of make believe.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Now I can change.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I will graduate this year and smile more when I look
at how far I’m going. I choose to ignore the haters; their words could never phase me. I dream that one day the memories won’t haunt me anymore. I hope he
knows how much he hurt me. I predict he thinks he really loved me. I know where
I’ve been and regret the things I’ve seen but it makes my story, it makes me. I
know where I’m going and that’s what makes me proud to tell this story. Like I
said I want to change.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I know my mistake was trusting him.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I choose never to let feelings control me.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I hope my daughter knows without her I am nothing.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10.0pt;">1559</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Locked Up and Going<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">When
I first became homeless, I was in Chico on the streets smoking dope with my
sister and my brother. Then my sister moved in with her boyfriend so me and my
brother came here to live with my mom's dad. My grandpa bought a house so my
brother and I could come live with him and get off the streets. But then my
grandpa son, my uncle, stole all his money so we got kicked out and were back
living on the streets again. Now I'm locked up and going to a group home in San
Andreas.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry#</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10.0pt;">1560</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Bad Times<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My
parents split when I was two years old because my dad was a drinker and a meth
addict and would beat my mom in front of me and I still have flash backs of
running in between them but that didn't stop my dad. My mom left him when I was
five. Me and my mom moved in with my step-dad. One time my step dad slammed me
on my head when I was five or six and called me a mother ****** and my ***** of
a mom didn't do anything. Another time he tackled me and tried to break my
front tooth with his finger and I went crying to my uncle and my mom and guess
what? They didn't do anything. One time I got so drunk at my house that I ran
around naked in a shower curtain and stood on the toilet in my bathroom falling
off and splitting my head open and nocking myself out cold. One time I went to
live with my dad. I had no way to get high so I started huffing gasoline. My
dad caught me. A couple of nights later I went for a walk to the store and
stole some 40s. The cops came and brought me to the hospital to sober up. I had
to be restrained in the hospital and I was screaming that I heard voices in my
head and that they told me to steal. That got me a one way ticket to a mental
hospital where I spent a week. Then when I got out I was sent back to live with
my mom. One time when I ran away I tried meth for the first time. One time I
got a girl pregnant and I still don't know if she's keeping it or not. One time
I ran away and went to a place called bear beach with my friends and that's where
I did cocaine for the first time. One time when I ran away I smoked pcp laced
weed. One time when I ran away I smoked meth and heroin laced weed. One time
when I ran away I had sex with a random tweeker. One time I got really drunk
and burnt my mom and my stepdads wedding pictures and started five other fires.
The end.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10.0pt;">1561<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Into a Rut<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I
just really wish I didn't come back. I was living the great life. I was doing
what I loved being with the people who actually care and now I can't even see
the girl I fell in love with. It just hurts so much. I know I need to change
and be better but it's hard. I don't really have the support to change. My home
life was kind of on the rocks and I was trying to stay away. But I ended up
running myself into a rut and now I'm stuck in the place I tried my hardest to
stay away from. I'm scared of what's going to happen next. All I can do is hope
and pray that I can get one more chance and I know I have been being dumb and
trying to run from every small problem that comes my way, but now it's time to
face it and do what I need to do. Hopefully I can just get one more chance
because this time I really won't screw it up. Now I have to spend my b-day and
Christmas behind a locked blue door, away from my family and everyone who loves
and cares about me. I just have to remember, "You do the crime, you gotta
do the time.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10.0pt;">1562</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">First Time in the Hall<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My
days outside of the halls are all freedom drinking with my homies, smoking gas
every day. But things have changed since I started crank. I started hanging
with the wrong crowd twisting every day. Soon I was so tweaked my family
disowned me. I was hurt and mad at myself. One day I was on the trails drinking
a gallon of Fireball with my homies. After the bottle was gone I wanted to do
stupid shit. I busted a couple of windows of a car and went to Burger King. I
had no money so I hopped the counter and started taking food and I was so cocky
I busted the cash register and started to take money. I failed and the manager
took the money out my hands and kicked me out, but I still had burgers and
fries. I started walking down the trails and met up with some friends and
smoked out fat. Out of no were someone decked me. I saw cops but it wasn't a
cop holding me down, it was my brother. I started screaming and kicking but
cops already got my hands cuffed. I blacked out and I awoke in a cell. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10.0pt;">1563</span><span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Food, Love, and Mom</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when me and my brother were growing up;
we would always eat the big dinners Mom would make. She would always have a
plate of food in the microwave if we didn’t make it home on time for dinner. My
mom always made sure we ate. My mother’s food was the best food to my taste
buds. I loved her food more than fast food. I disliked myself when I wouldn’t
make it home on time for dinner. At those times there would be a cold plate of
food left in the microwave so I could rewarm it. </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m grateful for my mother being in my life and my
brother’s life and always taking care of us. My mother makes sure her loved
ones are healthy and always full. I remember when I would ask my mom to cook
something specific she would say “yeah” but I had to stay home so I wouldn’t miss
dinner. She would say “no” at times but when I came home she would have that
specific meal that I asked for made. I’m thankful for the love my mom gave me
and my brothers. Because without Mom I wouldn’t know what love is.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10.0pt;">1564<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">My
Life</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I was a young innocent kid. I remember being shot
with my friend. I heard he was in critical condition. I saw the blood
everywhere. I worried we were going to die. I thought I would never see my
family again. I want that to change. I am a young gang member. I think I can
still be successful. I need to graduate and get a job. I try to stay out of
trouble.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I feel lucky to be alive. I forgive everyone. Now
everything can change. I will live a good life. I choose to be successful.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I dream to have my own family. I hope I have my own house.
I predict I will live in peace. I know I will survive.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I’m changed.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10.0pt;">1565</span><span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">One Hour</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember all the loving and fun memories from my
childhood, I miss all those good times I just wish I could go back and do all
the things I used to do. I’m going to share with you five things I’m very
grateful for in my life today. First of all, I want to say that I love and I am
very thankful for the people I have in my life (mom, brother, sister), and of
course my friends. I’m locked up right now but soon I will be able to be with
them making new memories.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Second, I am thankful for all the blessings and the
days of life that GOD gives me and all the people around me.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Third, I am thankful for Saturday, Sunday, and
Mondays because I get to see my mom. I know it’s just for one hour but at least
I get to see her smile and she tells me that everyone back home is okay.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Fourth, I am thankful that I chose to stay away from
drugs and all the gangs.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">The fifth thing I am very grateful for is having a
home, clothes and a loving and caring mom that I love with all my heart. Being
locked up is just a little phase but I have a feeling that really soon all this
is going to be over and I’m going to be home making new memories with all the
people I love. Those are just a couple things I am thankful for in my life;
there are many more, but I was just asked to write down five.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10.0pt;">1566</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Making
a Difference</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I feel very upset and disappointed with myself
lately, because I have missed my little sisters’ birthday for two, going on three
years in a row now. The first year that I missed her birthday, I didn’t realize
how much it meant to her until she actually told me. It hurt me when she told
me, “You missed my birthday.” I couldn’t think of how to respond so I said, “I
love you.” Last year around this time of the month, I was on the run. I was
afraid to show up to my little sisters’ birthday, because I thought I was going
to get locked up if I</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">went back home. Now I’m locked up again and will be
missing another one my little sister’s birthdays.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I wish I never missed a holiday or birthday with my
family. It mentally eats a person alive knowing you can’t go back in time and
be there for every memorable moment, holiday, and birthday that you have
missed. Now that I have realized how much I have hurt my family, I have finally
forgiven myself for my wrong doings. I am going to make a difference in the
choices I have made for the past three years. I will finally be home for
Christmas this year and I couldn’t be any more excited!</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span lang="FR" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10.0pt;">1567</span><span lang="FR" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span lang="FR" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Starting Over</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">If you really knew me you would know that I don’t
care about what anyone thinks of me or says about me</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">you would know that my family always comes first</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">If you really knew me you would know that I love to
shop and I love shoes</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">you would know I hate pig’s feet</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">If you really knew me you would know that I would do
anything for my family</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">you would know I don’t share my feelings with anyone
but my mom, sister, and brothers</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">you would know when someone tries to talk to me I
shut down not just because I’m trying to hide something, just because I don’t
like to talk to anyone about my life or problems</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">If you really knew me you would know that I like old
cars</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">you would know that I love ice cream</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">you would know that I want to be in the army or the
air force</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">If you really knew me you would know that I lost
some of the closest people to me and I started to do bad things like getting
locked up and stealing my moms’ </span><span lang="IT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">car</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">you would know that I use my childhood experience as
something to look at so I can remember that’s not how I want to be and I
wouldn’t want to see my kids grow up in that kind of lifestyle<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">you would know that before my dad passed away I was
a good kid, I</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">would stay on track in school and do what it once
took to succeed, I stayed away from all drugs, I used to dream of fighting for
our country but as soon as my dad passed away I stopped caring about my life <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I started to realize that my dad would love to see
me make a difference for him so I have started all over</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">And if you really knew me you would know that I am
going to be successful and my name will be known, I will make a change</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1568<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I
Hate the Hall<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">When I’m out, I usually do not wake up
super early to sweep my room. I usually sleep in ‘till around 11, 12 or 1. I
never wake up early. Sometimes I don’t go to school when I’m out, but I go to
school every day in here. When I’m out, I wear different clothes, and I don’t
share with people.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1569<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Live
Heartless<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Shout out to all my girls who left me
when I got locked up. They don’t even matter. It’s my own homies who got me mad
‘cause I thought that I had some pretty bullet proof love between me and them.
I would kill and die for them and they would kill and die for me, or so I
thought they would. Ever since the day I got locked up, I’ve been hearing more
and more about my own brothers turning on me. I’ve been in here for months and
I haven’t even got so much as a call to see how I’m doing, not from any of my
girls, not from my homies or anyone in my family…It’s regular.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10.0pt;">1570<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Blessing</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I saw the little blond headed boy. He was the cutest
baby ever and was so adorable. His little toes and fingers are the most
wonderful sight I’ve ever seen, next to his bright blue eyes. His smile always
brightens up my day. The kisses he gives his elephant hair is so hilarious.
He’s such a beautiful blessing.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">And if you really knew me you would know that I am
going to be successful and my name will be known, I will make a change<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1571<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Every
Day, White Walls<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Different names carved in from different
periods<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Tally marks counting the days until
they’re free<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Fights, pride, and stairing occurs a lot<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Frustration causes violence, adults
lacking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Worst of all, the beginning and ending
of my day in the hall.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1572<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">That
One Day<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Everyone has something that they wish
they could go back and change, or wish they never did. Well, I do too, but I
really wish I hadn’t done what I did, and I know everybody says that, but I
guess I’m just another one of those people. I mean like if I could take back
any day of my entire life, past or future, it would be that day. The day when I
lashed out in anger and hit my father. The one day that I will regret for the
rest of my life. I would give up anything to take back that day, to show him
how much I love and care about him. I would give up my life just so he would
know and understand just how bit my emotions are for him, just to let him know
that I love him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10.0pt;">1573<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Healing</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Sometimes You Have to Smile and Walk Away <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">At the end of the day you should be able to smile to
see TODAY.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">It makes me smile when I get a “hey” or a “how’s
your DAY”.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I swear I wanted that person to just PAY.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Or what I really wanted was him to STAY.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">To tell me everything was OKAY.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">To tell me he loves me or even call me “BAE”.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">To tell me he will be with me forever and ever like
EVERYDAY.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But once he left I just wanted to LAY.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I didn’t want to get up I didn’t want to feel that
PAIN.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">But I got over that PAIN.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Today I am glad to say I am a new person and I am
glad to SAY.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">No one can or will break my heart any more or
ANYDAY.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Today I can say I am happy and I got me a new BAE.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">And I know he won’t break my heart ANYDAY.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">All I got to say is be happy to see TODAY.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">It’s never good to feel so much PAIN.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1574<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Regrets<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">My regret is being locked up and not
being there for my family. Hurting my loved ones while I’m in here and hurting
everybody else and their families and getting locked up. I regret not listening
to ________. My regret is not taking her advice. The thing that haunts me is
not being there for my family and not getting to see my brother grow up. I also
didn’t get to see my sister grow up. Now my true love is out there while I’m
locked up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry
#</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10.0pt;">1575</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Life on the Outs</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">On
the outs life is lit. I don't have to wake up at 6 in the morning and shower. I
don't have to sleep on a hard bed. I can come and go as I please. My shower can
be as long as I want it to be. I don't have to have a light on twenty four
seven. I eat what I want, when I want. I get to see my son on a daily basis. I
get to see my girl and hold her. In here, I have to see her through a slab of
glass and talk to her and my son through a phone. On the outs I get to go on
walks with the homies and our dogs. I have two pits that I love with all my
heart. Their two big blue noses. People say that they look mean, but really
they are big old teddy bears. In here, I have to go by the staffs’ schedule. I
was only out for like three weeks. It was great. I lived my three weeks of
freedom to the fullest because I knew I was going to be coming back. But it's
my last time in here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span lang="PT" style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10.0pt;">1576</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Getting
Closer<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">I remember when I was out I would ditch school, get
into fights, drink, smoke, and do all other types of stuff. I would do all that
stuff daily. I remember one time my friends and I ditched and the school
security chased us, then called the cops on us. We were two blocks away and
getting inside the homies truck with cops pulling up on us with the lights on.
I hid behind the truck and the homie jumped in the back and hid. I took off
running and I got away.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">The reason I really remember this exact situation is
because that was the first time I’ve been chased by the cops and that was the
first time I’ve been so close to getting locked up.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">A Bit Of Fiction<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguEVl8240TK5il_3oqv6_nhzm7y04tABfpkENfycyLKMJsQ7dhirYe5ddWoPfSCtzc2GMxIEHBROwl6Y9xJOPR7uWQqWU4xDg-wRG1BBkplFAxRuszBo8w1qpk6mp0JXH8taFEs0iNw1Y3/s1600/fly+pig+and+dog.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="454" data-original-width="185" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguEVl8240TK5il_3oqv6_nhzm7y04tABfpkENfycyLKMJsQ7dhirYe5ddWoPfSCtzc2GMxIEHBROwl6Y9xJOPR7uWQqWU4xDg-wRG1BBkplFAxRuszBo8w1qpk6mp0JXH8taFEs0iNw1Y3/s320/fly+pig+and+dog.png" width="130" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10.0pt;">1577</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Fly,
Dog and Pig<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">There is a fly, dog and a pig. These three are best
friends. The fly goes out every morning. The pig gets muddy and the dog just
sleeps. The fly dies. The pig is going to the Fair to be sold. The dog sleeps.
The pig gets sold, made into bacon. The dog wakes up and falls asleep again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<br /></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 10.0pt;">1578</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Default">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">Rex, the Good
Friend<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Default">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">There’s a boy and his pet dinosaur. The boy is Tyler
and the dinosaur is Rex. Tyler loves Rex because when he's lonely, they play.
Tyler's mom hates Rex because when dinner is ready, Tyler brings Rex with him
tracking mud. What his mom doesn't know is Tyler feeds Rex his vegetables when
his mom isn't looking at him.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSHqLPiERdXWE6cw4Ft7OZNbi9wv5srE6VBvoM4p1b_ccyKmq3DfnDz2eXWGyE4enabhCHnBrIdtTwBiQdcEyXGwRQfGfpQ6BkGJNuvW4h1hKl_Uimtv9oF0sQtMikmAXHMZcaoXbLvNUv/s1600/rex.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="582" data-original-width="451" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSHqLPiERdXWE6cw4Ft7OZNbi9wv5srE6VBvoM4p1b_ccyKmq3DfnDz2eXWGyE4enabhCHnBrIdtTwBiQdcEyXGwRQfGfpQ6BkGJNuvW4h1hKl_Uimtv9oF0sQtMikmAXHMZcaoXbLvNUv/s320/rex.png" width="247" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Entry #1579<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Prison
Bound<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Once upon a time there was a little boy
named Timmy. Timmy lived in Chicago and he had a good family. His parents loved
him very much and his brother too, but his brother was always standing on the
block slinging. When Timmy was 14, a group of bad people ran into his house and
tied up his whole family and took his brother’s drugs. Timmy was hiding under
his bed when he watched his whole family get shot. Timmy couldn’t stay in his
house, and he didn’t want to go to a foster home so he ran away. He had little
money, but he did what he had to do to survive. One day Timmy was standing
outside a gas station when a Mercedes Benz pulled up. The person in the Benz
saw Timmy and said he could get Timmy a bank roll. Timmy went back to the guy’s
trap house, and he taught Timmy how to break down coke and cut it and weigh it.
Timmy started to sell drugs and make money. One day, the man in the Benz picked
him up and told him that they were going to rob a house. Timmy told the man his
story and that after this lick he was out. The man said it’s good. Timmy picked
up a strap and ran in the house and saw that there were people inside. The man
ran in and tied the family up and yelled at them for the drugs. They boy got
the drugs from the bedroom, and Timmy said, “Alright, let’s go!” But the man in
the Benz got greedy and wanted the money too. After the man pistol-whipped one
of the people, Timmy realized who had killed his family. Timmy turned his gun
to the man in the Benz and unloaded the clip. Cops surrounded the house, and
Timmy walked out with his hands up and went to prison.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-17101313773945692672017-11-17T09:43:00.002-08:002017-11-17T09:43:30.613-08:00<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1516</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<b
style='mso-bidi-font-weight:normal'><u><span style='font-size:18.0pt;
mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Engravers MT","serif"'>Writing
Exchange<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'>
<span
style='font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Engravers MT","serif"'>El
Dorado and Butte County Juvenile Halls<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'>
<a
href="http://www.writeyourtruth.blogspot.com"><span style='font-size:14.0pt;
mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt'>www.writeyourtruth.blogspot.com</span></a><span
class=MsoHyperlink><span style='font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt'><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal>
<o:p> </o:p></p>
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</v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><!--[endif]--><b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">How My Life Changed</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My mom, brother, and I were one big happy family. We had days
where we would argue, but we celebrated holidays and whatnot. Mom started
changing. My parents were never together when I was born. I was back and forth
from house to house all the time and custody from one to another. Once I hit
sixth grade my mom got caught up for a bunch of charges. I don't even know what
they were but they were serious enough to go to prison for 9 to L. She's still
in prison at this moment. All because the monster took over. She was doing
opium, meth and other drugs that **** up your life. One day she showed up to my
grandma’s house and I felt so miserable seeing my mom so out of it. I talked to
her and she wanted to go to the casino, so I drove her there. Four hours later
she got booked to Butte County Jail. I knew I should have never taken her
anywhere acting like that. I regret taking her to the casino to this day.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Then my brother started messing up doing stupid ****, hanging with
the wrong crowd. We would always get in fist fights over little things, like
not smoking with him or even changing the channels on the T.V. He was always on
meth. That's when I realized we're all **** ups. When he would come home is
when he would be coming down bad. One day he was out with his boys and I called
him and asked if I could come pick him up so we could go smoke and go out to
eat, just some brother time, and chill. He said "No. Tomorrow pick me up
at 7:30." At 3 am I heard he got locked up for a drive by, caught with a
45 and meth. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> Once he was gone I didn't care about listening to my
elders, family or even friends. I was smoking dope and even tried heroin... the
worst thing I've done in life. I was influenced by gang members, hanging with
them daily. Then I got ahold of a pistol and it was the cleanest thing I've
seen that I had. I felt like I was the man. Having weight on my waist was the
best feeling. A month later I was at a party and was coming down and got
stripped when I was asleep. It was all bad. I never wanted that to happen so I was
always on my toes after that, at all times. I started selling and came up on
another strap 2 weeks later. I got sent home from school for wearing colors.
Then I got caught up with an attempted murder charge. Now I'm looking at some
hard time. I sit in my cell feeling remorse for everything I did in life.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1517</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Center of my Good and
Bad Days</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'>
<span
style='font-size:24.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:22.0pt'>November 17, 2017<o:p></o:p></span></p>
</div>
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</v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I need to forgive myself for many things. But my
main struggle with myself is the relationship I had and the way it ended. I
need to forgive myself for letting go. I've known him for 8 years, we've been
close for 3 years, best friends for 2 years and 5 months, and together as a
couple for 1 year and 3 months. I saw him almost every day since we were best
friends. After we got together life was amazing, but then our drinking got out
of hand. Drinking more whiskey than water, our laughter turned to tears. I'd
find text messages and dating websites over and over, so I finally did him
dirty and cheated, just as he'd been doing me. It was after that he hit me,
about halfway through our relationship. He'd use the fact I cheated to keep me
from leaving when I'd find more messages. When I got more serious about leaving
he upgraded the threat to hurting himself and saying he was going to kill
himself. I forgave him in fear of losing him. This became routine. From months
in between to days till our fights became brutal. But we had our good days.
Those days being the best in my life. We knew this so we tried to cut out the
booze. But the bottle always found its way back into our lives. Car accidents,
broken bones, and stitches. I almost lost my life once or twice. I've been held
on the ground in the mud by my throat till I blacked out. But I loved him. I
knew he was the center of my good and bad days. He was my whole life. One day I
called his bluff, and I left. I had enough. I did leave, and he did take his
life. I lost my everything. He was the only thing I knew. I was blamed, and I
blamed myself. But I need to forgive myself, because honestly if I wouldn't
have left, we'd both probably be gone. But that slight chance that my decision
could have saved his life over mine kills me inside. I need to forgive myself.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcdOTRKxCNxUFOaQazLgMtqXJF6PUDr6-JIikHg9V8yrwZQ27IFcCs_huVtCHV8_2BcoRXRTcmzJ9blg0UpW52H12z_oT8yAc2KZpLEY_WDuZNDMbwsoBhtrAc4y2riLdwuEbXTNXWuE8_/s1600/sunflower.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="615" data-original-width="462" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcdOTRKxCNxUFOaQazLgMtqXJF6PUDr6-JIikHg9V8yrwZQ27IFcCs_huVtCHV8_2BcoRXRTcmzJ9blg0UpW52H12z_oT8yAc2KZpLEY_WDuZNDMbwsoBhtrAc4y2riLdwuEbXTNXWuE8_/s400/sunflower.png" width="300" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1518</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">What I Didn’t Know</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me,
you would know I have issues. Not just any regular "everyone has
issues" but (as cliché as it sounds) mommy issues. I wanted to hurt my
mom.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I wanted her to know how
I felt inside. I need to forgive myself for purposely saying hurtful things,
purposely doing things that would hurt me, to hurt her. If you really
knew me you'd know I'm not a bad person, but I had bad intentions. You'd know
my short life story and all the troubles my family went through, but you'd also
know I didn't care, at the time anyway. I need to forgive myself for not knowing
how to be a daughter. You'd know I missed out on my childhood by trying to grow
up too fast. If you really knew me you'd know I had no reason to do so at all.
I have to forgive myself for the pain and hardships I not only put myself but
my family through. Self-inflicted confusions, sabotaging my family's growth to
actually becoming a family. You'd know that I'm not stupid, but everything, all
obstacles and restrictions in my life were put there by my own doings. Who
wants to hurt their mother? Someone with issues. If you really knew me you'd
know that I really didn't know that I wanted to or tried to...I didn't want to
want. But what you'd really know is that I'm truly sorry and truly didn't
understand what I was doing.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1519</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">A Struggle To Be Free</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">There was a man I
thought I once loved. He said he'd take care of me and all of my problems. He
introduced me to the Devil’s pipe and I didn't stop twisting. I so loved it!
It took the pain I held and it bottled it up. But then one day he asked
me "If you loved me you'd do what I ask?" "Yes baby, of
course I'll do as you say." "Have sex with other men and I swear</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">we can be rich."
"What? No! I love you, what do you mean!" And he reeled me in. That
was it for my purest of years. "I'm 17 please don't do this to me
please!" But the bruises on my skin and the welts on my head say just do
what he asks and you will eventually live the dream "we" work for. He
injected me with heroin. As I pushed away, he angrily stabbed it into my arm
hitting my bone. I was in so much pain. "Okay, I'll stop. Just do it,
please, I won't resist. I'm sorry baby." Second by second I lost control.
I didn't know what happened except seeing the blood from the scene. This went
on for months and months till the FBI realized something was wrong and got
involved. They raided the hotel and I was finally free, but till this day I
struggle to really be free. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1520</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Nice To Meet You</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">One day I was out in the
road and thought, "Man I love my freedom" and was I right. I
had been doing well for many months and had been on the right track and for
some reason I guess I didn't like my freedom much anymore. So I went and
violated my probation and ended back in the hall. When I went back to the
hall I remembered why I hated it so much. I didn't have a comfortable
bed, I didn't have my mom to talk to and worst of all I had to deal with people
who were rude and mean and don't care about me or anyone else. I feel
sad, I feel depressed, I feel like I should just crawl into a hole and die
because I'm possibly facing 18 months. I don't know what to do anymore.
I'm just trying to cope and be a good person to everyone and I feel like I'm
being beaten with a damn curtain rod for my efforts, but I keep getting up and
following my morals and being a kind and caring human being. I know that
if I get out I will do good and be a good person, no matter what people think
of me. I know that the longer I am in the hall the longer I have to show I have
changed...show them all that I am not the person they say I am... I am change.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRzaJ1IdHu2dPTckp5-hXQpPi352-_V5O_ymT6buQdBpWlRDZMm_V38Ikz-xc0AT7bcIKaRuWBFKxidOAeEvOYuudIOhiQyjD8Ow0PB7fO5JxeGfQrMVQHfLBKMv0VHq3OD41vTQCamRBQ/s1600/WE+Armed.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="223" data-original-width="526" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRzaJ1IdHu2dPTckp5-hXQpPi352-_V5O_ymT6buQdBpWlRDZMm_V38Ikz-xc0AT7bcIKaRuWBFKxidOAeEvOYuudIOhiQyjD8Ow0PB7fO5JxeGfQrMVQHfLBKMv0VHq3OD41vTQCamRBQ/s320/WE+Armed.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1521</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Nowhere To Go</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew you'd
know that I was scum from the start. Everyone bullied me. The few friends I had
were either family, or ****** in the head. If you really knew me you'd know
that my parents fought constantly, and I thought it would be a relief when they
divorced, but it only sent my life into a downward spiral. My mom didn't have a
reason to hide the drugs anymore. If you really knew me, you'd know that by the
time I was 12, I was chugging vodka like a Russian. You'd know my mom made me
lie in the custody battle. You'd know that the first time I tried to move to my
dad's house, my mom pointed a shotgun to my chest. You'd know that on my
thirteenth birthday, my cousin had to save me from jumping out of my grandmother's
attic window. You'd know that I was closer than family with the few friends I
had. You'd know that last year, I tried to kill myself with Xanax and whiskey
because the person I called my sister said she hated me. You would know that in
August, I tried to drink myself to death, and almost succeeded. You'd know that
I spent more sleepless nights alone at my dad’s house than I can remember
because I got myself hooked on Adderall. You'd know that the only reason I'm
alive now, is because of the people I met on the bike trail. You'd know that
over the summer, it was the one I'm proud to now call "brother" who
saved my life when I had nowhere to go. You'd know that it was my friends who
helped me get clean, and now with them gone, I don't have much to live for.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1522</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Time</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I need to forgive myself
for ever using drugs. When I was younger, my parents were always telling me not
to use. They would tell me that drugs are bad for you and will change you
and lead me to worse things. They always told me stay in school and focus
on my goals. After every lecture I would tell them I would never use drugs or
anything stupid to mess up my future. As I got older I met people who would do
drugs and go to parties. I got drawn into all of it and before I knew it, I was
doing all the things I told my parents I would never do. I realized that
everything they told me about drugs was true. I became addicted and changed
from who I was. Drugs caused me to make some bad decisions and because of those
decisions I'm now in juvenile hall. When my parents came to see me they were
very upset with me and said they warned me about drugs and what would happen if
I used them. I told them I was sorry and I would stop using when I got out, and
I meant it. My parents forgave me, but now I have to forgive myself. I would
always beat myself up for putting myself in this place, but I realize that
there is still a chance for me to do the right thing and have a good and better
life. Now that I know what drugs will do to my life, I know better. It is time
to move on and do great things with my life.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ6bHoi1-FqDs-gB2qe0lrJ9TpUHTyiohc2VHfpIrhF6HyUkrTrpvIqjXpZucN_X7RX7uUdaZGicyoRtEAZLeXBREj8szD1343tvskOaUCu40w-0PZetJmh6slkhQARYeyJ0T6ewLCp1fO/s1600/hands.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="464" data-original-width="603" height="307" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ6bHoi1-FqDs-gB2qe0lrJ9TpUHTyiohc2VHfpIrhF6HyUkrTrpvIqjXpZucN_X7RX7uUdaZGicyoRtEAZLeXBREj8szD1343tvskOaUCu40w-0PZetJmh6slkhQARYeyJ0T6ewLCp1fO/s400/hands.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1523</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Dark Daze</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">When I was 12 I started
using meth and it was a new and exciting life at first. Meth was my new
thing... it made me feel older and it was fun. It made me feel like nothing
could stop me and I was limitless, so I started opening up to people I didn't
know and they took advantage of me, taking everything materialistic I had as
well as my sanity. My loved ones no longer trusted me because I was stealing
from the town and they were looked down on because of it. I was building up
anger over time from all the stress. One day I took a ride with my boy. I had
just left my girlfriend’s house after fighting with her all night and I was on
a hype. Some guy I didn’t know was walking down the street. My boy told me he
threw a gang sign up and from earlier that day I was already mad and was
feeling like I was going to blow up at any minute. I told my boy to stop the
car. I grabbed a hammer out of the back seat and hit him several times and took
all of his belongings. He was all bloody and hurt bad and because of the meth,
I didn't think anything of it at the time. He didn’t deserve what happened and
that was wrong of me. I feel bad about it to this day. I wish I could find him
and apologize for my actions.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1524</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Getting In Trouble</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really know me
you would know I speak Spanish and that I like to ride scooters and bikes. You
would know I used to drink every here and there but now it’s an issue. If you
really knew me you would know I get in a lot of trouble and that I go to Lead
because I got expelled from like 6 or 7 schools. You would know that I'm 12
years old and in juvenile hall because I made bad decisions and was at the
wrong place doing the wrong things. If you really knew me you would know that I
go to my sister’s a lot and that she smokes. You’d know that I used to smoke
weed and drink and run away from my house. I’d go do drugs and steal from
stores to go party. If you really knew me you would know I would go to
school and then just leave because I was really pissed. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1525</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My Name Is Dad</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me you would know that I am a great person with
a kind heart. You would know I started hanging around the wrong people around
the age 10. You would know I got locked up at the age of 13! You would know
that I've been coming here because of a drug that calls my name every time I'm
out. You would know that almost everyone in my family is an addict.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> If you really knew me, you would know that I'm trying to
stay clean and trying to do my best. You would know that I have a 7-month old
daughter. You would know that I've been clean off meth since my daughter was
born. You would know everything I do is for my little girl even though I'm yet
to meet her.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> If you
really knew me you would know that I'm going to be a great dad as soon as I
complete my drug rehab!</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1526</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I Miss Him</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">My grandpa died one week
before I came in here. He and I were close, like I was his own son. I
miss him I wish he was still alive. I want to see him right now and so does my
dad. I just want my grandpa back. My life is empty without him. Smoking drugs
to ease the pain. Without him I'm still sitting in juvenile hall being
homeless. My grandpa would want me graduate and do good in my life. But
the pain I have from him dying will not go away at all. I wish he never died,
but I guess it was his time to go to the next life. I want to do things right
by him...to change and to finish high school and go to college.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1527</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Haunting Regret</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I was only 15 when I
started using drugs and it put me with a bad crowd. I would go and fight random
people. I would get arrested for being drunk and intoxicated on private
property, waking up on the streets without a shirt on. Two hours later I'm
getting up by my dad then getting taken to the probation office after court to
get put on ankle. Then after that I did something way more stupid and here I am
in juvie. It haunts me. But worst of all, I put my family through a lot. I was
a liquor addict and I would do anything to get me a bottle even if it meant
hurting my family or stealing from them. I would do it, even if it meant
robbing a store for liquor. I regret doing what I did and it still haunts me
everyday of my life while I'm incarcerated. The liquor made me feel good and
made feel invincible, like I could do anything, be anything. Then I just lost
everything. I started doing dumb things and hanging around the wrong crowd. I
didn't think I would do or hurt my loved ones. I didn't mean to hurt anyone.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2hM7mfCp0whZW4__y1xjb21eHudBZMxH2IiMwGWy9Ug1_52IREpukPrral1XhL9YwSL5AVXoX9IISjp-nQNMgK8pD7_Ab5TnGRlonQTGmyr2dT2CV66Ab3tFj-vHhCNlEZrJS4O57Kzbf/s1600/hearts.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="506" data-original-width="383" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2hM7mfCp0whZW4__y1xjb21eHudBZMxH2IiMwGWy9Ug1_52IREpukPrral1XhL9YwSL5AVXoX9IISjp-nQNMgK8pD7_Ab5TnGRlonQTGmyr2dT2CV66Ab3tFj-vHhCNlEZrJS4O57Kzbf/s320/hearts.png" width="242" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1528</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Choosing</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you knew me, you
would know that I am very poor.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that I am
17.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that I am
funny.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you knew me, you
would know that I love food.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that I'm
in juvenile hall</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you knew me, you
would know that I'm homesick.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me,
you would know that I need to forgive myself for the bad things that I have
done.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that I
need to forgive myself for treating my ex's bad.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that I
need to forgive myself for not always being there for my family and also choosing
drugs over them.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1529<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Outcast<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">If
you really knew me you would know I left my home, I ran away not knowing later
in life I would write about it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">If
you really knew me you would know I am lifeless, unseen in the shadows for
eternity and beyond. But now that I am here in the hint of darkness. I will
stay profound until I am found, I howl my days away just like a hound, oh my,
oh my, I am the outcast of this town. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Oh
but only if you really knew me you would cry, cry, cry, until the shadows in
the depths once again touch the sky. I am the outcast but I don’t know why.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1530</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">The Game</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I know I could never
change what's already done, but I wish it all had never begun. Screaming,
beating, threats... Nobody hears, I wonder if anybody will ever come near. The
blame and shame take over my brain. All the things I never overcame. Always
hiding the pain, I could never get anything straight. I turned to the most
regrettable things, putting more shame on my name. I wish it all never began.
The pressure of Lucifer's hands wrapped around my heart, imbedded most of my
scars. Hate became my playmate, running around causing unwelcome change. I hate
to think of it as a game but that's what it became.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1531</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Reminiscing Regret</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me
you'd know I first got arrested at the age of 14.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me
you'd know that every night before I go to sleep I reminisce about all the pain
I caused my family and wish I could change all the bad things I've done.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You'd know that I'll
never go back to my old ways.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know all I
want to do is make my family proud of me.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me
you would know that I absolutely hate being locked up.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know I want to
change and become a better man who everyone will appreciate.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that my family
means everything to me.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me
you'd know that even though people look at me like I'm a bad person all I
really want to do is help others out.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you knew me I love to
drive.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You'd know that love to
go for late night walks to get things off my mind?</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me
you would know I want to finish school and get into college and play football
and see if I can make it to NFL.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know I want to
be able to come home and give my grandma however much money she wants.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1532</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Greater Things</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me,
you would know that my childhood ended early.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that I
grew up without a father.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that I
chose my path of life because of it.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me,
you would know that I was on the streets at 15.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that I
dropped out of high school in the 9th grade.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that I
wore a disguise because I didn't want to get hurt.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that it
made everything worse.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me,
you would know that I started to commit crimes.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that I am
in and out of Juvie.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that I am
currently incarcerated.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that I
want to change.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that I am
going to change.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that I
have the potential to be successful.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me
you would know that I want to be a marine biologist.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that I am
a good person.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">You would know that I
can achieve greater things.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">If you really knew me
you would know.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-9104410181457153342017-10-24T11:05:00.001-07:002017-10-24T11:05:55.280-07:00<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">FICTION 59 STORIES!</span></u></b><br />
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">This month, students were given the challenge to write FICTIONAL stories that are EXACTLY 59 words…not one more or less. Some were entered in the CNR Fiction 59 Contest and results for that come out on November 2: </span></u></b><br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><a href="https://www.newsreview.com/chico/home">https://www.newsreview.com/chico/home</a><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1470<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Supersized</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"></span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Jonathan was miserably struggling for hours across the open desert, sweat dripping from his face; heat of the sunlight impaled his skin like sharp needles. About to collapse, hopeless, he saw something glimmering in the distance: a 200 foot tall delicious cappuccino. With that he pushed forward. Now his bad circumstance involved climbing to the top of the cup.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1471<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Little Billy’s Salt Shaker</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"></span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">The snail was having a wonderful day until, suddenly a white crystal substance started to fall out of the sky like God Himself was scratching dandruff from his scalp. The next thing Mr. Snail knew, he was bubbling up into endless oblivion. The last thing he saw past his slimy antennae was the hairless, baby-face of God Himself.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1472<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Girl Next Door</span></u></b><b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Since she arrived, Hannah rode a blue bike to school. I can almost picture her now. Right here. Backpack on, coasting down the driveway. Her front wheel turns and she pedals past me on the sidewalk. I watch her ride down the long stretch of pavement, passing trees, parked cars, and houses. I stand and watch her image disappear.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1473<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">The Note</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Adam set his third, last baby tooth underneath the pillow. He was awakened by a tugging feeling. Knowing the rules, he pretended to be asleep so he could get a glance at the Tooth Fairy. When he tried to look for the money; it wasn’t there. There was just a tiny note saying, “You can’t fool the Tooth Fairy.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcObQ8Mk2JQwzS2_195jgOxyhjpTF-y_ACfIHUwui_kfeX7DFfyhuR_Tdy-VJXXLRxofzSSL4JVHNEoZqPnvwXyx4vQaffoTGfcjP1hgrMqWjYegdX6mIpenFUa_RBVsoZMOY_U6fqel8s/s1600/WE+Armed.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="223" data-original-width="526" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcObQ8Mk2JQwzS2_195jgOxyhjpTF-y_ACfIHUwui_kfeX7DFfyhuR_Tdy-VJXXLRxofzSSL4JVHNEoZqPnvwXyx4vQaffoTGfcjP1hgrMqWjYegdX6mIpenFUa_RBVsoZMOY_U6fqel8s/s400/WE+Armed.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1474<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Penance for a Widowed Scrooge</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"></span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">People went to Barnaby’s Pub for Boof, the town fool. He could be found there singing, dancing and smiling. People tipped him generously. What people didn’t know was that every night Boof walked back to his lavish mansion, stopping at his well where down went his tip money. He sighed, “Oh Darlene, you always said I should smile more…”</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1475<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Rules </span></u></b><b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Mother really only had three rules: A) no bad grades, B) no trouble, and C) no touching. A + B + C = admission to a good college. This was an incontrovertible direct mathematical proof. It wasn’t a theory. It was the only possible outcome. I used to believe that too. That was before I started to wonder why.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1476<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Mirrors</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">It started as a dare. I’m supposed to walk through a room of mirrors. Upon each one I see a different person. I look behind me, to see that nobody's there. Lost in each face, the eyes stay the same. The deeper I go the darker it gets. I realize the reflections are all pieces of who I’ve become.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1477<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Killer Unknown</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">There was a deadly killer on the loose. Suspicious people were in awe, wondering where the bodies were coming from. The bodies were left out in the open, for everyone to see. They were so curious. Why was the killer doing this? Often, at every crime scene, there were hairballs, scattered all over. But, Sampson just strutted away, purring.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1478<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Halloween Night</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">On October 31, 2017 Max was driving home and saw a girl walking
alone in the rain. Her name was Molly and he offered her a ride home. The next
day Max went back to Molly’s house and there’s people outside. Max asked them
if Molly was home. They told him that Molly had been dead for five years.</span></span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry # 1479</span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Eternal Loneliness</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">I remember waking up every Saturday morning to the music blasting and breakfast cooking. Now I awake to sounds eternal loneliness. Now that my father is long gone, I wonder when he will return home. I decide to go for a walk. As I walk I see I’m lost. In the distance my father he walks. I’m also gone<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1480<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">All in a Dream</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Delicious wisps of smoke tickled the senses in the boy’s nose. His very soul was being massaged by the heavenly scent. He has reached Nirvana. Floating over the transparent sea-green surf, sharks and fish frolic in harmony. Clouds smile. The view is sublime. Good smoke. He’s in bed, realizing his house is burning down. Not good smoke. Bad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1481<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">One For Each Wrist</span></u></b><b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Walking into a Rolex store, everyone’s got eyes on Tommy and his disgusting clothes. The salesman called for security. Security tapped Tommy on the shoulder and told him to get out. The salesman looked at Tommy all crazy, “Which one??” Tommy pointed at the most exclusive Rolex in the store. He pulled out a MasterCard Black, and bought two.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1482<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Space</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">On his way to work one day John grabbed his keys and went outside. When he got out the door he realized he was in outer space. Floating around, he didn’t know what to do. He decided to pull his phone out and called in sick. Since he had his phone he Ubered a ride home in a spaceship. </span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1483<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">For Those <i>Easy to Reach Places</i>,Too</span></u></b><b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"></span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Brenda Brown lives in the college dorms. While showering, she gently applied some generic apricot face scrub. With eyes pinched, she reached for the shampoo. As she thoroughly lathered it into her luscious brown hair, her scalp began to burn...locks of her hair falling off. Terrified, her eyes open wide just long enough to read the label. “NAIR.”</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1484<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Tornado</span></b><b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">As John stands there waiting, the tornado gets closer. Destruction making its way toward him. He’s ready though. His powers are ones to defend. The whole village stands behind him as they’re sealed into his invisible dome. The tornado is closer now, pushing against him. He weakens, and the storm breaks through killing everyone except him. Eventually he confesses.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1485<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Clay Piece </span></u></b><b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">William sculpted a model of the most perfect woman he could imagine. The next day she was at the kitchen table eating eggs benedict. She started sobbing because she too felt lonely. She looked up suddenly, saw William, and gasped. They had a year to themselves. After falling in love, they both slowly transformed into clay works of art.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1486<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">The Great Dragon</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"></span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Yatchua woke up in a dimly lit cave, struggling to remember what happened the night before. Then he recalled the battle, the dragon. The sound of its roar, a thunderstorm. The divine beauty of its golden scales. As he looked along the cave floor, he saw it was as massive as a redwood. Now, as still as one too.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjusxMM129SIOghWb5SpAbwLLkxr8i7qWNvz4SYdvBBC2aLq-F68HauwkHit8Ged6sULCaI9if-MJHhu679bGt8Ww-YdKGcnQhhrPnIcg2N7Q-saf9nsaeP5Z-6BH5CkFGt6rQzH6CXHDrM/s1600/flower.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="285" data-original-width="278" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjusxMM129SIOghWb5SpAbwLLkxr8i7qWNvz4SYdvBBC2aLq-F68HauwkHit8Ged6sULCaI9if-MJHhu679bGt8Ww-YdKGcnQhhrPnIcg2N7Q-saf9nsaeP5Z-6BH5CkFGt6rQzH6CXHDrM/s1600/flower.png" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1487<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Thursday Night Torture</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Max was fighting with his parents so he decided to run away. Passing scary streets one by one, he was thinking how much he hated his parents and how they treated him: making him take out the trash every other Thursday night. Realizing he had no means of transportation, he called his mom to assist him in running away. </span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1488<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Shedding Skin</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Scorcher the gifted snake learned to talk at 4 years old. Scorcher went to bed in his little hole. When he woke, he felt kinda weird. He went to go do his hair and the mirror started talking to him: “You don’t have any hair!”</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">“Don’t mess with me, mirror!”</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Scorcher threw it against the wall, angry, but vindicated.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1489<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Accidentally Sold a Soul</span></u></b><b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"></span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">At the bus stop waiting for the greyhound, Billy Corbel strums his guitar. “Something’s missing,” a hypnotizing voice whispers. Billy jerks, and almost drops his guitar. “Let me tune that for you,” the woman beckons. Billy is unable to refuse. Not only does the mysterious woman tune his guitar, she gives him a kiss. Soon enough, Billy was famous.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1490<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Burnt Nicotine</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">He feels the grass on his legs but that doesn’t bother him as much as the smell of the burnt nicotine. It makes the world spin, as the razor wire fence goes round and round super-fast. A pounding migraine enters. The staff yells, “Get to running”. Staggering, he falls face first into the mud, brought down by his addiction.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1491<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Coy</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Once there was a boy who had a Coyfish named Coy. The boy ran to the pet store to get a fish friend for Coy and got another Coyfish named Moimoi. On his walk, he met with a friend who took him and Moimoi home. They both have new friends.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1492<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Cruising the Lunch Line</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">She is Latina; about 5’9; with brown hair; blue eyes; a gorgeous personality. John tells his friend, “Wow! She is really beautiful,” quietly looking at her. When she stares back at him, John gets huge butterflies going through his skinny stomach. A big grin spreads across his face, ear to ear. She tells him to come sit with her.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1493<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Locked Away</span></u></b><b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"></span></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Ruby misses the smell of tobacco. Waking up at 6 every morning to take a rushed shower. Right after that they tell her what to do, to go to her room! Behind that locked door sitting on the concrete bed, counting the bricks in her room. Waiting for them to release her so she can get her tobacco fix.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1494<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Suspicious</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">As he’s walking the very dark street he notices a car moving towards him. He starts to walk faster until he’s in a sprint. He keeps looking behind him until he’s in a daze. He looks up and realizes he’s been hit by...a still pole. Then his friends get out of the car and asks if he’s okay.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1495<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">The Likely Candidate of Anger</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Jimmy Jackson is joyfully flamboyant, florid, and extravagant. These types of characteristics express his true personality. But today his attitude and even posture show that he’s infuriated with something. He was sentenced 180 days. That’s it, that’s his dilemma. He thought to himself “Don’t count the days, make the days count.” Jimmy quickly got back to his flamboyant self.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1496<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">GOT COURT!</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"></span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Will has court today. In court he’s sitting there smirking and flirting with his lawyer. As the judge gets up to read his charges he scoots down his glasses and looks at Will. The first charge he anticipated: out past curfew. But, the second, murder, he didn’t see coming and would leave him incarcerated for many years to come. </span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1497<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">CRYSTAL SHARDS</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Michelle’s monster was everywhere, killing her from the inside out. Once it got her, it controlled her, like a puppet on a string. It made her break into sis’s piggy bank, made her family repeatedly look down on her. First it was quite friendly and made her feel great; then she started losing weight, friends, appetite, family, and life.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1498<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Accidentally Facing Fears</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Billy was scared. He saw it. Now it’s gone. The eight-legged creature disappeared in the cracks of Billy’s brown and black dresser. Scared to move, Billy lay on his twin race car bed. The spider mimicked his frozen stature. Later, he wakes, slowly moving off his bed. He hears a pop, crunch. The spider was right to be afraid.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1499<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Bobby’s Cancer Walk</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Bobby had been walking in the tunnel for days. The dare to run through the tunnel was too much to resist. Once Bobby got in the tunnel he could see the light at the other end. But no matter how far he walked, he never came close to reaching the light. He turned to find an eternity of isolation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">NON-FICTION WRITING:</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1500</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">More Than Using</span></u><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> I was introduced to drugs by my cousins. They were always using drugs around me and I got pressured into using one day. I always looked up to them but they got comfortable and started using around me. I got used to people using. The first drug I tried was Marijuana, but after using that drug the choices kept expanding and became dangerous. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> Sometime I would have days filled with using drugs with my cousins. There were nights I wouldn</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">’t even know where I was. Some days we all would wake up in apartments or houses where we didn't even know the owner. There would be days when I would be blacked out all day. I just didn’t want to do anything, but use drugs and my life was going downhill.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> I was spending a lot of money on them and missing school and other appointments. Drugs were taking control of my life. Being incarcerated has helped me with my drug problem and showed me life is worth way more than using.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1501<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Praying for Strength<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> When I was fifteen years old, I tried meth for the first time on New Year’s Eve, 2015, two days before my sixteenth birthday. A lot of people I knew were doing it at the time. Some of them were even family members. I wish I could say that I tried it and never went back to it, but, sadly that</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">’s not even remotely close to how my story goes. Less than three months later I found myself sixteen and pregnant as well as in a relationship with a guy who shot up meth and smoked heroin on a regular basis.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> At that point in my life though I had only tried meth once and constantly was begging and fighting with my boyfriend at the time to stop using. Shortly after finding out I was pregnant, I had a miscarriage and as unprepared as I was, it crushed me. After leaving my doctor’s appointment that day I began using on a regular basis. In May of 2016, I was sitting in my bedroom with my aunt, boyfriend and one of our friends when the homie accidentally shot himself. My boyfriend ended up going to prison, considering he was on probation at the time and the house was raided.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> After that I became even more depressed and fell further into drugs. I was now using constantly and in November I ended up crashing my car and getting a DUI. I</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">’m currently in juvenile hall serving six months in a substance abuse program. I just hope and pray that I’ll have the strength to stay sober after I get out in December.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1502<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">The Cost</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">I was 12, and in sixth grade when I started to smoke weed and drink. My parents always told me to stay away from stuff like that, but of course I never listened. If only I could have looked into the future to see what kind of person drugs would turn me into. I wouldn't have touched them.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;"> It all started when I would go to the park and hang out with friends. I would just hang out while they smoked weed and drank. I wasn't really into that kind of stuff. They would always tell me stuff like, "Just try it and you'll love it," or "Just try it this one time." What they didn't tell me was, "Just try it at the cost of your whole life," or " Try it once and you’ll be addicted for years to come.” So, of course, one day I said, "F-it, one time won't hurt." Little did I know that one time would lead to more times, and the more times would lead to the end of my childhood altogether.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;"> So here I am now in the eighth grade and I'm fourteen. Yes, I am still doing drugs and now it's not just a bit here or there, it's all day every day, just so I can make it through the day. It's just not weed and drinking, it's also many different kinds of pills. I started with the pills in seventh grade, but that became something I do now more than weed. How I thought something so small could make you feel so big and good, little did I know pills were making the end of my care-free youth come so much quicker.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1503<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Change</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I was in love with powder and doing the wrong things.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I remember going out on day and staying up for four.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I heard I was ugly and didn’t mean anything from boys.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I saw my cousin shoot himself in the head.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I worried that I would never do right for my mom.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I thought I was going to die because of my choices.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">But, now I want to change.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I am a growing, brilliant and worthy individual.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I think there is always a time to turn your life around.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> I need to go to eat Navy and get out of this town.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I try to stay focused and only think positive in any and all situations.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I feel overjoyed because me and my mom are prospering.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I forgive her for introducing me to powder.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Now I can change.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I will stay on track and do what it takes to succeed.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I choose to stay away from powder and all other drugs.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I dream of being a forensic psychologist.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I hope God will give me the strength to push on.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I predict I will be successful and a striving young adult.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I know I will be beautiful and prosperous.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I will change.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1504<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Always There</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">It was always there, following, haunting;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">I didn't want it till I started falling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">When I gave in, it trapped me with my sin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">I gave myself away, and was forced to stay;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Nothing could help me, it was too late.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Always awake, figuring something I could make.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Under a name full of blame, came pain till I was drained;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">There was nothing to keep me sane.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">The Lady was my main, and took all my strain. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1505<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Comfort Me</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> Meth was my drug of choice. I was introduced to the drug by my ex-girlfriend. I started using at the age of fifteen. I am now eighteen years old. I didn't plan on using drugs as long as I did, it’s just that I used it to self-medicate.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> I went through a lot as a kid. I didn</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">’t feel like I had anyone on my side. I felt alone. My mom worked nights and couldn’t really be there for my little sister and me like she should’ve been. While Mom was at work we’d have to clean the house, wash all the laundry and cook for ourselves at the ages of thirteen and fourteen years old.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> I used drugs because I was used. I was self- medicating to get rid of the pain that I felt. Drugs turned my life upside-down. I used to get rid of the shame, guilt, disgust, and hurt that has always been a part of my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> While on meth I did a lot of bad things. I caused a lot of pain to myself and my family. Mom wasn</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">’t around to comfort me and my big sister wasn’t there to talk to. I had no one to talk to, to get the weight off of my chest.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> Now because of my drug use I was sentenced to six months in an in-custody drug program. I</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">’ve been sober for six months and I am ready to make a change in my life. I’ve realized that using drugs is not the best thing to do when you feel in need of comfort.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1506</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Vanishing Childhood</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> My childhood was good while it lasted. When I was a toddler, my family would do fun activities like go to the lake, barbecue and go on trips. Everything was normal and good until my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. I loved both equally, so I wasn</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">’t going to pick sides, especially, being so young.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> I had three other sisters with two older and one younger. My two older sisters already knew what was going on. My parents split up after fifteen years of being together. That affected me in a way that I didn</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">’t realize.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> At eleven I started smoking to wipe away the anger I had inside. I eventually stopped caring about school and started skipping classes thinking I was a cool kid. By the end of the 6th grade,</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> my dad got deported which had a huge impact on me. All I did was smoke and drink, wishing my pain would go away. I stopped going to school after that and would go to parties thinking I’m grown.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"> I missed out on all my middle school activities because I wanted to be in the streets. All I wanted was my Dad back in my life, but I knew that wasn</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">’t going to happen. My mindset changed. I was thirteen and trying to act eighteen. I enjoyed my childhood, but I wish it had turned out different.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1507<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">High Score</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">My childhood was extremely fun; I never wanted to grow up. My favorite game as a kid was cops and robbers. The kids in my neighborhood and I would use the whole block to play the game. There would be about 20 of us and the game would keep on going until the other team gave up. The game would go on for hours; sometimes we would play until midnight if there was no school the next day. Sometimes our parents would come out yelling at us to go home. I wanted to stay that age forever; there was no stress. As I start to grow up there are more things to worry about. It was in Jr. High that I started falling apart because I started to hang out with the wrong crowd. I was put on probation for robbing someone for something that I didn't even need. This time it wasn’t a game. Life is too fast to make mistakes. I can't live this life forever. </span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1508<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Happier Days<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">My childhood was a struggle. It was rough. Of all my friends I had the worst childhood because my mom and dad were never there to show me how to do anything. I say it was rough because I grew up always thinking and wondering if my mom or dad would ever show back up so I could live a normal life with them, but they didn't. I grew up with my grandma. She was always trying to show me what's good in life and what not to do. If I had the chance to change my childhood I wouldn't because I wouldn't be the same person I am today. That struggle I went through made me proud. It made me realize that no matter what you go through there'll always be better and happier days waiting for you in the end</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;">.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1509<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Influenced To Try</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">I got introduced to drugs by my dad and brother. They would always tell me to never use or they would beat my ass, but it was really hypocritical; they did it around me and I got influenced to try. My first time using me was with my so called friend. It made me feel unstoppable and like I could do anything at that moment. Then, it got really bad. I would use any excuse to leave my house for some money. I’d even take something to trade for meth. I would miss out on visits with my mom in prison. I wouldn't visit my dad in county jail, or even my brother in the hall. I would steal things from friends and family just to get it. I was only 13-years-old when I first started. I looked up to my friends... well more like they looked up to me for some reason because I always came through with my whip to take them somewhere to hotbox the car with meth smoke. I started to smoke heroin with a buddy. It started to mess up my life from the very first hit. After those days of doing meth and heroin I got stripped while I was coming down, asleep at a trap house for my 380. A month later I started on Xanax pills and caught a felony charge. Now I'm in the hall for a couple years.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1510<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">The Good Life</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">While I was growing up, I saw people doing drugs and drinking. I was eight-years-old when I smoked my first blunt. I was hanging out with people that did it for fun. I started drinking and smoking on the daily. By the time I was twelve I would ditch school and go smoke or drink. Never did I once stop and think. I just wanted to get loaded. I would go get high and lost in my thoughts. I started to spend lots of money trying to get high. Before I knew it I was selling just to get by. I was fourteen-years-old, pushin weight like I was thirty. I thought I was the man, doing everything I wanted. Two years later I was living with a girlfriend selling every drug I could get my hands on. I was sleeping with my girl when the cops kicked in the door. They grabbed me right out of bed. They ripped through everything of mine. I was only sixteen when they charged me with sales, trafficking, and possession. Now I've been locked up for a while, and I'm just learning my lesson! All I ever wanted was to have a good life</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1511<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">New Family<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10pt;"> I look back to my childhood as both good and bad because, when I was born, my biological mom and dad were meth and heroine heads; they didn't care about anything other than drugs. I was taken away from my parents when I was eight months old, when they went to prison. When I was growing up I was in foster care until I was three. I got picked up by my current parents. They’ve been the greatest, best, most fun family I could ask for. No one can replace them.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10pt;"> My parents let me do my own thing. They let me go places on my bike. As I grew up they got less and less strict. They gave me a phone and trusted me to check in every couple of hours. It felt good growing up and the freedom of my bike. My bike was life! I was on my bike every minute possible.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1512<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Started<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">My homie and I smoked some marijuana, drank liquor together. I was only 13 when I first started using drugs. My parents really never gave a shit about me. The only person that was there for me was my Uncle. He was the person that taught me how to fight and stand up for myself. I didn't have an easy childhood. It was unbearable, actually. But I managed and I had to grow up at very young age. I didn't even have a chance to be a kid. I was fighting bigger people than me and doing what I could to get by in life. I had to fight my mom’s boyfriend for putting hands on her. It was not good growing up the way I did. Feeling like it’s your job to protect and take care of your mom like I did was awful. It was a bad environment and I had to deal with a lot of things that no kid or teenager should deal with.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1513<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">A Different Me</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10pt;"> I have not had a terrible experience with drugs such as overdosing, but it has affected my life in many ways. I lost some of the people closest to me and I started making new friends who were into the same habits that I was. The people close to me would always call me and tell me that I didn't have to be doing drugs, that I was better than that, and that they would help me. But I let the drugs get to me and pushed away the people who tried to help. After I got locked up I realized what drugs had done to me and the way I had treated people; now the people I love the most see me as a different person and I've never felt the same.</span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1514<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Then</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 10pt;"> When I was introduced to pot I was just twelve. In seventh grade the person that introduced me to this head high drug was a kid in the so called “cool kid” group. He was an eighth grader. I looked up to him and this group. My aunt was the principal, so the cool kids would have me do things for them that other students couldn't do. In return they would let me smack their pot and let me be a part of their group.. I made bad decisions. I started to drift off with the group and ended up getting expelled. Then I found alcohol. </span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 10pt;">Entry #1515<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Be Happy</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">I love bmx; it’s probably the most fun thing to do that involves two wheels. I started riding bmx two years ago and I have loved doing it ever since. I have learned how to do new stuff and it helps me dedicate my mind to something. Back in my freshmen year I came to school and I saw kids doing it and I wanted to try it. I made friends with people that rode bmx and they got me into it. It took a while but I ended up getting my first bmx bike and I started learning the basic tricks. Bmx is just a getaway for my mind. I just put my earbuds in and ride and it's like there's nothing else around me. I think other people should give it a try. I plan to do it for the rest of my life. I feel proud when I do it cause I finally have something that can help me relieve stress and just be happy.</span>chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-91718332856053952742017-08-09T12:15:00.002-07:002017-08-09T12:17:14.041-07:00<div class="WordSection1">
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Entry #1447<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">No More Worries<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">I started coming to the
hall 2 years ago when I was 14 and every time that I've been <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Locked up right before
I would get out I'd tell the staff, "I won't be coming back." But as
soon as I'd go home, it's like my mindset would change again. I'd start
committing different crimes and end up coming right back to the hall. This time
I'm locked up for 14 months but I know when I get out things will be different.
I can't explain it, I just have a feeling that I'm going to be alright. I'm
also just tired of being locked up. I wasted a lot of time being locked up.
These are my high school years; these are the years that I'm supposed to be
having fun, not stuck up in a cell. I tell myself though, that it doesn't
always have to be like this, that I can get out and actually do something with
my life. I could choose to not change and blame other people for my mistakes
like I've done before, but I would be choosing that same old lifestyle that
only leads to regret, hatred, and incarceration, and that's not what I want. I
want to get out and work. I want money, honest money so I can get out and buy
stuff I want instead of stealing it. I want to buy a house or rent an
apartment. I want to tell my mom, "Look mom I made it. You don't have to
worry anymore!" I want to be able to give my mom presents and buy her
stuff like she does for me. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">By all means, I'm going
to make it happen.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
<div class="WordSection2">
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Entry #1448<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">When I Was Six<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></b></div>
</div>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Where I grew up wasn't
a good environment. There was always drugs on the streets and there was people
mobbing around causing problems for families. I was only 6 years old when my
dad got arrested and got thrown in jail for stabbing a guy. It put me and my
family in tight predicaments and problems. When I got to 8 years old I got
taken in by my grandma and everything was going great and then I was going
through some troubles when I found out my dad was in prison for 19 </span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><a href="http://months.me/"><span class="Hyperlink0">months.</span></a></span><span class="Hyperlink0" style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"> My </span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">mom and I went to see
him often and everything was going alright and then my mom started falling away
from my dad. It put me in in hard thoughts and my life started getting more
difficult. My gang family has always been there for me when I needed them.
People on the streets would get up in my face and start talking in messed up
words and I try and do the right thing and walk off. Even when I did they
started following me and messing with me and then I felt weird letting it
happen. So eventually I fought. When I got older it got worse . When I get out
the hall I'm fitting to straighten out my life and be able to see my family and
my kid. I will try and get a job and be there for my little one and be in his
life, unlike my father coming in and out my life and in and out of prison. I
will get my own house and be there for my kid and my baby momma. They’re the
ones that keep me pushing. If it wasn't for them I don't know where I'd be. I'm
fitting to change for them and my mom and my family and to do better than my
dad ever did.</span><br />
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<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Entry #1449<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Promise<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">I think thing will be
different in a way. I'll still be smoking but all that other shit, I'm not
even gonna mess with it . I have things I need to do on the outs, like look
after my family . I'll try to get visits with my little sister and brother and
try to get a job. I'm going to get a place when I get out . All I know is I'm
done with that childish kid stuff. I got thing I need to do, places I need to
be. I can't get set back because of gangs & drugs, and a bunch of other
bullshit. But first things first… I made a promise to my siblings about how I
would be there for them. If they need money, food, a place to stay, or need
anything I would be there for them. That was my promise for them and I intend
to keep it. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"> </span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Entry #1450</span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">11 Years<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">I grew up in a small
town with big dreams.<u> </u><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Cops already knew me when I was walking down the
street. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">They compared me to my
dad which I thought was kinda neat.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">They asked me what I'm
doing and where I'm going. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Told em on my way home,
you see me skateboarding. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">So they grabbed my
board and threw it in the water.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">All because the man
they never caught, well I'm his daughter. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">It's been 11 years now
since I've been living without a father.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">But now I'm walking
home and I see the homie -----.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">He asked me what's
wrong is there anything he could do?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">So I told him what
happened and how I didn't understand.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">That's when he told me
all about my dad.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">"He was a leader
that's why we got respect for you. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">I walk you home just so
I can check on you." <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">He said the boys hate
him so they always gonna mess with you. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">That’s when I hit the
block and started repping too. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">See I was from the Ave
----- was from the town <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">But a year past -----
stop coming around.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Then after a while I
heard what really went down <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">------ was only 18 and
he got sentenced life.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Walking home alone now
and it still don't feel right. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Everyone yell "Free Snoop!" But were ya’ll
really tight?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">But now I’m sitting in
a cage too and it gets cold at night<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Looking in the mirror,
I see this life ain't right. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Entry
#1451<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<b style="color: #cccccc;"><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Last Memories</span></u></b><br />
<div class="WordSection5">
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I
was scared and worried when I got a visit last year from my mom. She came to
see me for an hour. During that hour she delivered some bad news she received
from her doctor. We hugged each other and sat down and talked about everything
that was happening while I had been locked up. I noticed something was wrong
and I wanted to know what it was. I asked her what was wrong. She said she had
something to tell me. I stood quiet and waited…she said, “I have breast
cancer”. I felt tears running down my face. I tried to stop the tears, but,
they just wouldn’t stop. I was so scared that God was going to take my mom. I
told her I know I made mistakes and hurt you in ways I wish I never had, but I
am going to change. I want Mom’s last memories to be proud of me. At that
moment a tear fell down her cheek and she said, “I love you.”</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Entry #1452<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Regret<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">I
regret lots of the things I’ve done. I don’t know why I always used to run from
all my problems when I was really the one that caused them. I always blamed
everyone who tried to help, always said, “You can go to hell.” Well?
Honestly I wanted them to stand up and help me see what I could really
be…. not a dope fiend on the side of the streets, but a man who when people see
him they all smile with glee. I didn’t want to be put down for what I’ve
done. I want to be the kind of guy who
goes and shoots hoops for fun instead of having to run from all his problems
under the sun. I’m used to being shunned and being at rock bottom where I don’t
even flinch when I’m at the bottom of a bottle. I just want to hit the throttle
and escape all my past mistakes and live a life my family can really
appreciate.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><br clear="all" style="mso-break-type: section-break; page-break-before: auto;" />
</span>
</span><br />
<div class="WordSection6">
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "century gothic", sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Entry
#1453</span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Enchiladas</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></span></div>
</div>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Something
that makes me smile is food, especially, enchiladas.</span><br />
<div class="WordSection7">
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Something
that makes me smile is knowing that my baby is healthy. </span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">knowing
that may parents are still alive</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">when
I listen to music</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">when
I get along with my family</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">when
my boyfriend smiles</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Something
that makes me smile is my little sister</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">waking
up to a new day</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">doing
things with my mom</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">to
be with my dad</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">waking
up in a good mood</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">love</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Something
that makes me smile is when I wear makeup</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">my
birthday</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">money</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Something
that makes me smile when people do nice things for me</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">video
chatting with my boyfriend</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">wondering
what my baby’s gender is</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">when
I think about what it’s going to be like once my baby is born.</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Something
that makes me smile is summer</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">a
compliment</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">when
someone hugs me and tells me they love me</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">my
boyfriend’s loyalty</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Something
that makes me smile is when my boyfriend got his high school diploma</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">when
I go to church</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">going
out of town</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">when
I go shopping <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Life
makes me smile!</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvpWdhQUBcR3eVR0K5L2ANT85Dxpb2P14OLm0rrTj79NGNdC3Pe0f-NmJ_o05j8_KLm0nZrlFRn6Dr88TKwCMF2ZlE6a_I_E1i4d4kZMtkah4eAK3sUfF1Mr4U9JcBmsHuBRiho_7UdAAc/s1600/Rosary+hands.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="626" data-original-width="432" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvpWdhQUBcR3eVR0K5L2ANT85Dxpb2P14OLm0rrTj79NGNdC3Pe0f-NmJ_o05j8_KLm0nZrlFRn6Dr88TKwCMF2ZlE6a_I_E1i4d4kZMtkah4eAK3sUfF1Mr4U9JcBmsHuBRiho_7UdAAc/s320/Rosary+hands.png" width="220" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><br clear="all" style="mso-break-type: section-break; page-break-before: auto;" />
</span>
</span><br />
<div class="WordSection8">
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Entry #1454<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Choices<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Yea I do believe my
home town has influenced the person I am today . When I was growing up I told
myself I was never going to do drugs, but there is so much here. By eighth
grade I was doing almost all the drugs available, besides heroine. I can't
blame my choice 's on my home town. I made the choice to do the drugs. The town
just made it so easier to get ahold of the drugs. When it comes to my hometown
influencing my choices it just wasn't with drugs. There were gangs to. All my
friends wanted to gang bang so I said ***** it and went right along with them.
But like I said before, I can't blame my choices on my hometown. When I was
younger I thought gangs were what I wanted to do. I made the choices to do
drugs and gang bang. Hopefully when I leave the hall I will make better choices
but I wouldn't count on it. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">I never thought I would
be locked up looking at life in prison. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Entry #1455<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">New Identity<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">When I get out of the
hall, things will be different because I won't have the same mindset. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">When I get out of the
hall, I'm going to do my best to succeed.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Things will be
different because I won't be out slanging in the streets,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">I'm going to stay home
with my family,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">When I get out of the
hall, things will be different because I won't be doing drugs that can kill me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">When I get out of the
hall, I will miss that lifestyle, getting fast money and carrying guns.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">But when I get out of
the hall, things will be different because that isn't me anymore!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Entry
#1456<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Smiling Weird</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></span></div>
</div>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Something
that makes me smile is my Mustang</span><br />
<div class="WordSection9">
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Something
that makes me smile is racing in cars</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">a
lot o money in my pocket</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">a
lot of shoes</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Something
that makes me smile traveling</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">hanging
out with friends</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">the
first day I get out</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">rap
music by Mozzy</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Something
that makes me smile is going to Buffalo Wild Wings</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">going
on a furlough</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">seeing
my mom happy</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Something
that makes me smile is being with my girl</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">is
seeing my cousins</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">going
to dinner with family</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">buying
new clothes</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">going
out of town on the daily</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">having
a good day</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">going
to the movies</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">being
myself</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Something
that makes me smile is knowing my cousin is out of prison</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">meeting
new people</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">going
camping</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">waking
up to a new day</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">funny
jokes</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Something
that makes me smile is people being weird </span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><br clear="all" style="mso-break-type: section-break; page-break-before: auto;" />
</span>
</span><br />
<div class="WordSection10">
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"> </span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Entry #1457</span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Living in the Hall<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">I grew up in the
streets of our town and started getting in trouble at a young age. At ten I started
smoking everything possible to deal with the monsters inside my head. I got
locked up for the first time when I was 12: gta and drug possession. Now I'm on
my 23rd charge. I told my mom and son that it's the last time I would get
locked up. I'm 14 now and still in the hall…ain't ever going to leave. But when
I do I won't be coming back I'll be with my kid and baby momma. My son is going
to have the dad I didn't have. My dad left when I was 3. I'm not going to be
like my dad I'll be there for my kids no matter what I have to do. my son is my
life. He and his mom are going to come live with me when I get out. I met my
baby momma in my 8th grade year. We've been together ever since. Had are kid
just one year ago. When I get out my son’s going to have everything he wants.
He's not going to have to sell drugs in little baggies like his dad just to
live. He's not going to have to fight every day just to get a bite of food.
This time when I get out I'm saying by for good because I have something to
fight for. My son is my life. My fight. My everything. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Entry
#1458</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">One Day It Just Clicks</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I
realize what is important and what is not. I learn to care less about what
other people think of me and more about what I think of myself. I realize how
far I have come and I remember when I thought things were such a mess that I
would never recover. I smile. I smile because I am truly proud of myself and
the person I have fought to become.</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Entry #1459<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">The Struggle<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></b></div>
</div>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">What
should I do?</span><br />
<div class="WordSection11">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">I
should go,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">But
instead I sit here and do this blow.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">I know
if I stop my good personality will show,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">But I
do my best to hide this glow.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">I’m
handling so many drugs, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Always
running around with these thugs.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">How
will I ever have a chance? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">If I
don’t stop and take a glance.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">I run
around these streets,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Hoping
there is someone good I can meet.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">I guess
there’s not, but it was a good thought <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">So what
would you do, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">If
that’s all you knew?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><br clear="all" style="mso-break-type: section-break; page-break-before: auto;" />
</span>
</span><br />
<div class="WordSection12">
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "century gothic", sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Entry #1460</span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Locked Doors Again<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">When I get out of the
hall I am going to do things different. I am not going to do meth anymore and I
am going to try to get a job. I have been in and out of the hall for the past
three years, maybe longer. Every time I get released I say that I am going to
do good, but I never do. I always end up running back to meth and all it did
was get me thrown back in the hall. I am annoyed, getting locked back up every
month or two. Now I am back in the hall again and I am going to be here for the
next 14 months. I think being here this long will help me realize that I do not
ever want to come back. Part of me still thinks that when I get back into that
negative environment, I will just get back on meth. I have been smoking meth
since I was 13 years old and I still look back on the first day I hit that
pipe. I should have just said no.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Entry #1461<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Riding Problems Away<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">I moved and thought it
was a new beginning but what I thought didn't become a reality. I made some new
friends and thought I would change, but the problems at home kept progressing.
When I argue with my parents I ask them why we have problems. But then
something big started helping… it’s called bmx. I fell in love with it. It
helped me get away from everything that was going on. I could just put in music
and cut the whole world out. But then I started doing bad stuff and bmx kinda
faded from my life. I still rode but barely did. I miss the time when all I did
was ride. I want it to be like that again. But I'm stuck in the hall, missing
my girl, and wanting to start again. I would do anything to get my life back. I
regret ever hurting the people I love. I just can't wait to get out and get on
my bike and just ride and not think about all the bad things in the world.
That's one of the only things that keeps me pushing, but my family and my girl
are the other big thing. When I get out of the hall I’m going to make myself
greater and be a better person and put my family over everything and just know
that they are there. But bmx is one of the big motivations in my life and I
will never stop doing it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Entry
#1462<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">No Fourth</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">“When
I get out of the hall things will be different” is what I said the last two
times I was here. This time though I plan on being a man of my word and not
coming back to this place. I plan on doing a few things different when I get
out to better myself and make my statement true.</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">This
time it will be true because I’m not like everyone else. Unlike others I’m
willing to change my habits. To start it off, once I get out I’m not going to
let myself smoke because even if I smoke just one day, I won’t be able to stop.
Also, I will try to stop leaving my house past curfew and every time I am out,
I’ll make sure to be back before 11:00 p.m. Once I’m out I’m going to focus on
finishing high school and getting off of probation.</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Once
I’m out there’s no doubt that I’m going back in the same environment with the
same people and the same negativity. I know that won’t affect me. If someone
offers me a blunt or some brew, I’m simply going to say no. My homies respect
me enough to not bug me into doing things I don’t want to do. They might even
help me to stay out of trouble because they don’t want to see me get locked up
again for a fourth time.</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Entry #1463<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">I Do<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">The town I grew up in
most definitely did influence the person I came to be! I believe if I were to grow up in a different
town or a different area, I would be a different person; I wouldn't have been
around role models that were using drugs. I wouldn't have started using drugs
myself. I wouldn't have been born & raised around the bullshit, I wouldn't
have been born around thugs and violence and thought it was cool or what I was
supposed to be like when I grew up....</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">When I get out this
time, I really will not come back to ANY juvenile hall... I will go straight to
county if I get into any more trouble, but I don't plan to get into any more
trouble, nobody ever does... When I get out I will marry the woman I'm in love
with, if she will marry me. She told me before, on multiple occasions, that she
would, I just had to get the rings... Then I get locked up AGAIN.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFfoBftb9P37RZ0zker8g3g3d7gsOSdQ_Jh8cTmtGGMcZSyrJ55H0dwlZ-uOzG7K4juGlgECHwVlzgmTrI0ufIytQST3niNrmTwhjRcQEJe9_PW9oYzbCDFLwTrWwP7sfHIVTfELz6qnOB/s1600/Turtle.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="353" data-original-width="370" height="190" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFfoBftb9P37RZ0zker8g3g3d7gsOSdQ_Jh8cTmtGGMcZSyrJ55H0dwlZ-uOzG7K4juGlgECHwVlzgmTrI0ufIytQST3niNrmTwhjRcQEJe9_PW9oYzbCDFLwTrWwP7sfHIVTfELz6qnOB/s200/Turtle.png" width="200" /></a></span></div>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "century gothic", sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Entry
#1464</span></div>
<b style="color: #cccccc;"><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Reflection</span></u></b><br />
<div class="WordSection13">
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">It
makes me smile to see my friends</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">It
makes me smile to see my dad</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">It
makes me smile going to school</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">eating
food</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">being
on my phone</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">seeing
my home</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">It
makes me smile getting good grades</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Christmas
Day</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">It
makes me smile graduating</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">getting
a letter</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">and
knowing it’s from my baby brother</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">It
makes me smile being on Faceboo</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">doing
my makeup</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">It
makes me smile being respectful</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">seeing
my sister</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">my
big brother</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">It
makes me smile lying on my bed at home</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">It
makes me smile seeing my heavenly father</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">seeing
clean things</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">eating
candy</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">when
people make funny faces</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">It
makes me smile going to college</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">making
my stage</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">seeing
my cousins </span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">seeing
my mom</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">seeing
heaven</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">It
makes me smile when it’s Halloween</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">going
to a birthday party</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">It
makes me smile seeing my face in the mirror everyday</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><br clear="all" style="mso-break-type: section-break; page-break-before: auto;" />
</span>
</span><br />
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"> </span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Entry
#1465</span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">When I am Locked Away</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I
feel the pain when I am away from my family for 365 days.</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">It
doesn’t feel the same waking up every day.</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">My
family doesn’t write me, it’s such a shame.</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I
feel hopeless most every day, but I would never give in because I have faith.</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">These
are my feelings and I keep them locked away.</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I’m
surrounded by loving people, but it’s not the same as waking up at home every
day.</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Free
me until it’s backwards, January 2nd, yeah, that’s the day I get active.</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Entry #1466<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><em><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><u>Deja
Vu</u></span></em><span class="st1"><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I'm in here stuck with
my thoughts.</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">They keep me up making
their roundabouts.</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I feel as though I'm
losing myself piece by piece,</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"> Into an eternal release.</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Anyone who cares, can
only sit there.</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">When someone is
capable, they tell me I'll never be able.</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I sit here in pain,
going insane.</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">It's like a movie
repeating in my head ,</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">All the scenes
connected by a thread.</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I try sleep them away,
but they always pop up in my way.</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I sought out what I
thought about,</span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Then I wind up talking
it out. </span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">It starts out: </span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I'm stuck in here with
my thoughts , </span><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">They keep me up making
their roundabouts<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Entry #1467<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Lost in the Crowd!<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">The town I grew up in
influenced me to be a kid who has to turn around every once in a while because
I can't trust anyone in this town. It made me become a drug user and a person
who hangs around the wrong crowd, influenced by gang members, always having
people on the hunt for me for the decisions I made in the past. I had to learn
how to pack every time I stepped out my front door. If not I would be 6ft deep.
I was born in the struggle, powdered eggs taught me how to hustle. Once my mom
and brother got locked up, I was doing big things, until I decided to get high.
That's what had me end up in here one day. My sister is on her own now, no one
to call when she's lonely, or even when she needs to get shit off her mind. I
know I messed up bad because she just had a kid and her uncles aren't gonna be
there for a long ass time. There's days when I'm happy, sad but mostly stressing.
I have a kid on the way. A lot changed since my family got locked up. I'll be a
father in 3 months. My little darling won't see her father till she's 3. I need
to get out of here. Thera a lot to look forward to when I get out, but also
some things I don't look forward to. I feel remorse for what I've done. If my
mom was still out I would still be a kid. But my crowd influenced me down the
wrong path. That will never be the same. Once I get out everything will change.
I hope to see my mom and my brother when I get out. I'm still waiting for that
day to come, but I can't look forward to it anytime soon. All this time being
locked up, now I’m just waiting for my sentence to go home. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Entry
#1468<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Three Months of
Learning</span></u></b><b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></u></b></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">When
I get out to the hall things will be different for me. This is the first time
that I have ever done something bad enough to get a consequence like this. I
got a sentence of three months. I don’t ever want to come back. I just want to
stay out of trouble when I am out. I want to be able to eat whatever foods I
want, to walk freely on my own and to go to sleep and wake up in my bed knowing
everything will be okay. I’ve learned many skills during the time I’ve been
here and I genuinely feel like I’ll use those skills to better myself outside.
When I get out, my life will be guided for me by probation and I will have a
monitor. I need to obey all the probation rules. Hopefully, I will not come
back due to violations. I will do the opposite of all the negative things I did
in the past to make my life better. I’ve learned from my mistakes. I know there
is a pull I have to resist: when I walk back into the negative things in my old
environment, I won’t transform into my old self.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Entry #1469<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Should Not Be<o:p></o:p></span></span></u></b></div>
<div class="Body">
<span style="font-family: "century gothic" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Getting out...it's
probably what every inmate thinks about at least once a day. I know I do. I
also think about my two little brothers. One's six years old and the other is a
year and a half. I also have a sister on the way I and I'm scarred I won't be there
for her birth. I'm in here for starting a fire...a big fire and I think about
how dumb my choice was all the time. I hate it in here. I can't stand it. Every
minute and every second of every day brings along more anxiety and more stress
than I can handle. Sure there's good moments, like at lunch time when I'm
talking with my friends and I get distracted, but as soon as I'm sitting in my
cell alone the anxiety and the stress of it all come's rushing back. I ask
myself how could I have been so stupid? How could I let the demon drink
influence my choices so strongly. I’d do anything to get a hold of it. Even
going as far as selling my own PS3 and all my games just to get it. Just to
feel that feeling again... To forget everything. Now I suffer for it, not seeing
my family, not being there for my brothers as they grow and get older. This
place should not be for me. I don't want to be here but I did my crime of
endangering so many lives. Now...I have to do my time. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-7027594449407308742017-08-09T10:20:00.001-07:002017-08-09T10:35:43.330-07:00<div class="WordSection1">
<div class="Body">
<h2 style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-weight: normal;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">Entry #1447</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">
</span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<u><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">No More Worries</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I started
coming to the hall 2 years ago when I was 14 and every time that I've been</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Locked up
right before I would get out I'd tell the staff, "I won't be coming
back." But as soon as I'd go home, it's like my mindset would change
again. I'd start committing different crimes and end up coming right back to
the hall. This time I'm locked up for 14 months but I know when I get out
things will be different. I can't explain it, I just have a feeling that I'm
going to be alright. I'm also just tired of being locked up. I wasted a lot of
time being locked up. These are my high school years; these are the years that
I'm supposed to be having fun, not stuck up in a cell. I tell myself though,
that it doesn't always have to be like this, that I can get out and actually do
something with my life. I could choose to not change and blame other people for
my mistakes like I've done before, but I would be choosing that same old
lifestyle that only leads to regret, hatred, and incarceration, and that's not
what I want. I want to get out and work. I want money, honest money so I can
get out and buy stuff I want instead of stealing it. I want to buy a house or
rent an apartment. I want to tell my mom, "Look mom I made it. You don't
have to worry anymore!" I want to be able to give my mom presents and buy
her stuff like she does for me.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">By all
means, I'm going to make it happen.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entry #1448</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="text-align: left;">
<u><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">When I Was Six</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Where I grew up wasn't a good environment. There was always
drugs on the streets and there was people mobbing around causing problems for
families. I was only 6 years old when my dad got arrested and got thrown in
jail for stabbing a guy. It put me and my family in tight predicaments and
problems. When I got to 8 years old I got taken in by my grandma and everything
was going great and then I was going through some troubles when I found out my
dad was in prison for 19 </span><a href="http://months.me/"><span class="Hyperlink0" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">months.</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Hyperlink0"> My </span>mom and I went to see him often and everything was
going alright and then my mom started falling away from my dad. It put me in in
hard thoughts and my life started getting more difficult. My gang family has
always been there for me when I needed them. People on the streets would get up
in my face and start talking in messed up words and I try and do the right
thing and walk off. Even when I did they started following me and messing with
me and then I felt weird letting it happen. So eventually I fought. When I got
older it got worse . When I get out the hall I'm fitting to straighten out my
life and be able to see my family and my kid. I will try and get a job and be
there for my little one and be in his life, unlike my father coming in and out
my life and in and out of prison. I will get my own house and be there for my
kid and my baby momma. They’re the ones that keep me pushing. If it wasn't for
them I don't know where I'd be. I'm fitting to change for them and my mom and
my family and to do better than my dad ever did.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ8tX-5RA_jNO6RJu-WSVGs5ORB9uZEta0s6_vtEfHXH8gMV1sO0vitU1n6i4ML0evnhl4i57brWv4MlTxztGoGbKhj4IPegUf1dEQi8IjlobTSuVO-p5dKfb1Z6PF5eMZNCYUDLYHAezP/s1600/batwoman.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><img border="0" data-original-height="618" data-original-width="408" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ8tX-5RA_jNO6RJu-WSVGs5ORB9uZEta0s6_vtEfHXH8gMV1sO0vitU1n6i4ML0evnhl4i57brWv4MlTxztGoGbKhj4IPegUf1dEQi8IjlobTSuVO-p5dKfb1Z6PF5eMZNCYUDLYHAezP/s320/batwoman.png" width="211" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entry #1449</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="text-align: left;">
<u><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Promise</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I think
thing will be different in a way . I'll still be smoking but all that other
shit, I'm not even gonna mess with it . I have things I need to do on the outs,
like look after my family . I'll try to get visits with my little sister and
brother and try to get a job. I'm going to get a place when I get out . All I
know is I'm done with that childish kid stuff. I got thing I need to do, places
I need to be. I can't get set back because of gangs & drugs, and a bunch of
other bullshit. But first things first… I made a promise to my siblings about
how I would be there for them. If they need money, food, a place to stay, or
need anything I would be there for them. That was my promise for them and I
intend to keep it. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entry #1450</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="text-align: left;">
<u><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">11 Years</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I grew up
in a small town with big dreams.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cops already knew me when I was walking down the street. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They
compared me to my dad which I thought was kinda neat.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They asked
me what I'm doing and where I'm going.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Told em on
my way home, you see me skateboarding.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So they
grabbed my board and threw it in the water.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All
because the man they never caught, well I'm his daughter.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's been
11 years now since I've been living without a father.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But now
I'm walking home and I see the homie -----.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He asked
me what's wrong is there anything he could do?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I told
him what happened and how I didn't understand.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That's
when he told me all about my dad.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"He
was a leader that's why we got respect for you.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I walk you
home just so I can check on you."</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He said
the boys hate him so they always gonna mess with you.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That’s
when I hit the block and started repping too.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">See I was
from the Ave ----- was from the town</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But a year
past ----- stop coming around.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then after
a while I heard what really went down</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">------ was
only 18 and he got sentenced life.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Walking
home alone now and it still don't feel right.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everyone yell "Free Snoop!" But were ya’ll really
tight?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But now
I’m sitting in a cage too and it gets cold at night</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Looking in
the mirror, I see this life ain't right.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwXb0mcGa_BwBtpf6mdJzgDJMYfYy-KZVAVH7Ccs2-DtaPhqSJ3sBAFOK_Jydf0XrnUq23gqqID6vMn7MptOTmuxDK7jjRm8U3C5EgTREE-8zHBkdY4IZgKTa3y51TCcY09IV0yt_FBuIR/s1600/LOGO+Writing+Exchange.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><img border="0" data-original-height="349" data-original-width="720" height="155" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwXb0mcGa_BwBtpf6mdJzgDJMYfYy-KZVAVH7Ccs2-DtaPhqSJ3sBAFOK_Jydf0XrnUq23gqqID6vMn7MptOTmuxDK7jjRm8U3C5EgTREE-8zHBkdY4IZgKTa3y51TCcY09IV0yt_FBuIR/s320/LOGO+Writing+Exchange.png" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entry #1451</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<u><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Last
Memories</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was scared and worried when I got a visit last year from my mom. She
came to see me for an hour. During that hour she delivered some bad news she
received from her doctor. We hugged each other and sat down and talked about everything
that was happening while I had been locked up. I noticed something was wrong
and I wanted to know what it was. I asked her what was wrong. She said she had
something to tell me. I stood quiet and waited…she said, “I have breast
cancer”. I felt tears running down my face. I tried to stop the tears, but,
they just wouldn’t stop. I was so scared that God was going to take my mom. I
told her I know I made mistakes and hurt you in ways I wish I never had, but I
am going to change. I want Mom’s last memories to be proud of me. At that
moment a tear fell down her cheek and she said, “I love you.”</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entry #1452</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="text-align: left;">
<u><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Regret</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I regret lots of the things I’ve done. I don’t know why I
always used to run from all my problems when I was really the one that caused
them. I always blamed everyone who tried to help, always said, “You can go to
hell.” Well? Honestly I wanted them to stand up and help
me see what I could really be…. not a dope fiend on the side of the streets,
but a man who when people see him they all smile with glee. I didn’t want to be
put down for what I’ve done. I want to
be the kind of guy who goes and shoots hoops for fun instead of having to run
from all his problems under the sun. I’m used to being shunned and being at
rock bottom where I don’t even flinch when I’m at the bottom of a bottle. I
just want to hit the throttle and escape all my past mistakes and live a life
my family can really appreciate.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entry #1453</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<u><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Enchiladas</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Something that makes me smile is food, especially, enchiladas.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Something that makes me smile is knowing that my baby is healthy.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">knowing that may parents are still alive</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">when I listen to music</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">when I get along with my family</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">when my boyfriend smiles</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Something that makes me smile is my little sister</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">waking up to a new day</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">doing things with my mom</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">to be with my dad</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">waking up in a good mood</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">love</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Something that makes me smile is when I wear makeup</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">my birthday</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">money</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Something that makes me smile when people do nice things for me</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">video chatting with my boyfriend</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">wondering what my baby’s gender is</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">when I think about what it’s going to be like once my baby is born.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Something that makes me smile is summer</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">a compliment</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">when someone hugs me and tells me they love me</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">my boyfriend’s loyalty</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Something that makes me smile is when my boyfriend got his high school
diploma</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">when I go to church</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">going out of town</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">when I go shopping</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Life makes me smile!</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivIMZgv2hrIS_Ec3Mq3zR6pZDhG8fFp9eaGvOVOIrayPJGmg2KPVCjJzQuJlFhpBUCXeJUes052LHLVBbvtJ0rnNYoLeHMcHyPAeXc5rP0DtzrQ9ySiyqFGoR6yeZNXYEUtT7l_lnGuHpb/s1600/Rosary+hands.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><img border="0" data-original-height="626" data-original-width="432" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivIMZgv2hrIS_Ec3Mq3zR6pZDhG8fFp9eaGvOVOIrayPJGmg2KPVCjJzQuJlFhpBUCXeJUes052LHLVBbvtJ0rnNYoLeHMcHyPAeXc5rP0DtzrQ9ySiyqFGoR6yeZNXYEUtT7l_lnGuHpb/s320/Rosary+hands.png" width="220" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entry #1454</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="text-align: left;">
<u><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Choices</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yea I do
believe my home town has influenced the person I am today . When I was growing
up I told myself I was never going to do drugs, but there is so much here. By
eighth grade I was doing almost all the drugs available, besides heroine. I
can't blame my choice 's on my home town. I made the choice to do the drugs.
The town just made it so easier to get ahold of the drugs. When it comes to my
hometown influencing my choices it just wasn't with drugs. There were gangs to.
All my friends wanted to gang bang so I said ***** it and went right along with
them. But like I said before, I can't blame my choices on my hometown. When I
was younger I thought gangs were what I wanted to do. I made the choices to do
drugs and gang bang. Hopefully when I leave the hall I will make better choices
but I wouldn't count on it.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I never
thought I would be locked up looking at life in prison.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entry #1455</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="text-align: left;">
<u><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">New Identity</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I get
out of the hall, things will be different because I won't have the same
mindset.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I get
out of the hall, I'm going to do my best to succeed.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Things
will be different because I won't be out slanging in the streets,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm going
to stay home with my family,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I get
out of the hall, things will be different because I won't be doing drugs that
can kill me.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I get
out of the hall, I will miss that lifestyle, getting fast money and carrying
guns.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But when I
get out of the hall, things will be different because that isn't me anymore!</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entry #1456</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<u><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Smiling
Weird</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Something that makes me smile is my Mustang</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Something that makes me smile is racing in cars</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">a lot o money in my pocket</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">a lot of shoes</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Something that makes me smile traveling</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">hanging out with friends</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the first day I get out</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">rap music by Mozzy</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Something that makes me smile is going to Buffalo Wild Wings</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">going on a furlough</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">seeing my mom happy</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Something that makes me smile is being with my girl</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">is seeing my cousins</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">going to dinner with family</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">buying new clothes</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">going out of town on the daily</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">having a good day</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">going to the movies</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">being myself</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Something that makes me smile is knowing my cousin is out of prison</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">meeting new people</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">going camping</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">waking up to a new day</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">funny jokes</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Something that makes me smile is people being weird</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entry #1457</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="text-align: left;">
<u><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Living in the Hall</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I grew up
in the streets of our town and started getting in trouble at a young age. At
ten I started smoking everything possible to deal with the monsters inside my
head. I got locked up for the first time when I was 12: gta and drug
possession. Now I'm on my 23rd charge. I told my mom and son that it's the last
time I would get locked up. I'm 14 now and still in the hall…ain't ever going
to leave. But when I do I won't be coming back I'll be with my kid and baby
momma. My son is going to have the dad I didn't have. My dad left when I was 3.
I'm not going to be like my dad I'll be there for my kids no matter what I have
to do. my son is my life. He and his mom are going to come live with me when I
get out. I met my baby momma in my 8th grade year. We've been together ever
since. Had are kid just one year ago. When I get out my son’s going to have
everything he wants. He's not going to have to sell drugs in little baggies
like his dad just to live. He's not going to have to fight every day just to
get a bite of food. This time when I get out I'm saying by for good because I
have something to fight for. My son is my life. My fight. My everything.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entry #1458</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<u><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One Day It
Just Clicks</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I realize what is important and what is not. I learn to care less about
what other people think of me and more about what I think of myself. I realize
how far I have come and I remember when I thought things were such a mess that
I would never recover. I smile. I smile because I am truly proud of myself and
the person I have fought to become.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entry #1459</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="text-align: left;">
<u><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">The
Struggle</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What should I do?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I should go,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But instead I sit here and do this blow.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know if I stop my good personality will show,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But I do my best to hide this glow.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m handling so many drugs,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Always running around with these thugs.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How will I ever have a chance?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If I don’t stop and take a glance.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I run around these streets,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hoping there is someone good I can meet.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I guess there’s not, but it was a good thought</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So what would you do,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If that’s all you knew?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entry #1460</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="text-align: left;">
<u><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Locked Doors Again</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I get
out of the hall I am going to do things different. I am not going to do meth
anymore and I am going to try to get a job. I have been in and out of the hall
for the past three years, maybe longer. Every time I get released I say that I am
going to do good, but I never do. I always end up running back to meth and all
it did was get me thrown back in the hall. I am annoyed, getting locked back up
every month or two. Now I am back in the hall again and I am going to be here
for the next 14 months. I think being here this long will help me realize that
I do not ever want to come back. Part of me still thinks that when I get back
into that negative environment, I will just get back on meth. I have been
smoking meth since I was 13 years old and I still look back on the first day I
hit that pipe. I should have just said no.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entry #1461</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="text-align: left;">
<u><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Riding Problems Away</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I moved
and thought it was a new beginning but what I thought didn't become a reality.
I made some new friends and thought I would change, but the problems at home
kept progressing. When I argue with my parents I ask them why we have problems.
But then something big started helping… it’s called bmx. I fell in love with
it. It helped me get away from everything that was going on. I could just put
in music and cut the whole world out. But then I started doing bad stuff and
bmx kinda faded from my life. I still rode but barely did. I miss the time when
all I did was ride. I want it to be like that again. But I'm stuck in the hall,
missing my girl, and wanting to start again. I would do anything to get my life
back. I regret ever hurting the people I love. I just can't wait to get out and
get on my bike and just ride and not think about all the bad things in the
world. That's one of the only things that keeps me pushing, but my family and
my girl are the other big thing. When I get out of the hall I’m going to make myself
greater and be a better person and put my family over everything and just know
that they are there. But bmx is one of the big motivations in my life and I
will never stop doing it.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE9-VNgMXZTdhcTdWfLbFylkJv0lhmLPLCjpg9zOntci62bXlTGXYotUYjvhGsWMGN53Ala5hMKK42fIHCRwOEi3V51ZEbCseeRqMd-5ThnhtBdJ6aqgXlBxdZjJ1rZNNbE-B7CrSiR728/s1600/Turtle.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><img border="0" data-original-height="353" data-original-width="370" height="190" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE9-VNgMXZTdhcTdWfLbFylkJv0lhmLPLCjpg9zOntci62bXlTGXYotUYjvhGsWMGN53Ala5hMKK42fIHCRwOEi3V51ZEbCseeRqMd-5ThnhtBdJ6aqgXlBxdZjJ1rZNNbE-B7CrSiR728/s200/Turtle.png" width="200" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entry #1462</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<u><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No Fourth</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“When I get out of the hall things will be different” is what I said the last
two times I was here. This time though I plan on being a man of my word and not
coming back to this place. I plan on doing a few things different when I get
out to better myself and make my statement true.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This time it will be true because I’m not like everyone else. Unlike
others I’m willing to change my habits. To start it off, once I get out I’m not
going to let myself smoke because even if I smoke just one day, I won’t be able
to stop. Also, I will try to stop leaving my house past curfew and every time I
am out, I’ll make sure to be back before 11:00 p.m. Once I’m out I’m going to
focus on finishing high school and getting off of probation.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Once I’m out there’s no doubt that I’m going back in the same environment
with the same people and the same negativity. I know that won’t affect me. If
someone offers me a blunt or some brew, I’m simply going to say no. My homies
respect me enough to not bug me into doing things I don’t want to do. They
might even help me to stay out of trouble because they don’t want to see me get
locked up again for a fourth time.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entry #1463</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="text-align: left;">
<u><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I Do</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The town I
grew up in most definitely did influence the person I came to be! I believe if I were to grow up in a different
town or a different area, I would be a different person; I wouldn't have been
around role models that were using drugs. I wouldn't have started using drugs
myself. I wouldn't have been born & raised around the bullshit, I wouldn't
have been born around thugs and violence and thought it was cool or what I was
supposed to be like when I grew up....</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I get
out this time, I really will not come back to ANY juvenile hall... I will go
straight to county if I get into any more trouble, but I don't plan to get into
any more trouble, nobody ever does... When I get out I will marry the woman I'm
in love with, if she will marry me. She told me before, on multiple occasions,
that she would, I just had to get the rings... Then I get locked up AGAIN.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entry #1464</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<u><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Reflection</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It makes me smile to see my friends</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It makes me smile to see my dad</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It makes me smile going to school</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">eating food</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">being on my phone</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">seeing my home</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It makes me smile getting good grades</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Christmas Day</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It makes me smile graduating</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">getting a letter</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and knowing it’s from my baby brother</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It makes me smile being on Facebook</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">doing my makeup</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It makes me smile being respectful</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">seeing my sister</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">my big brother</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It makes me smile lying on my bed at home</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It makes me smile seeing my heavenly father</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">seeing clean things</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">eating candy</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">when people make funny faces</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It makes me smile going to college</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">making my stage</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">seeing my cousins</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">seeing my mom</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">seeing heaven</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It makes me smile when it’s Halloween</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">going to a birthday party</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It makes me smile seeing my face in the mirror everyday</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entry #1465</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<u><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I am
Locked Away</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I feel the pain when I am away from my family for 365 days.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It doesn’t feel the same waking up every day.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My family doesn’t write me, it’s such a shame.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I feel hopeless most every day, but I would never give in because I have
faith.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">These are my feelings and I keep them locked away.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m surrounded by loving people, but it’s not the same as waking up at
home every day.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Free me until it’s backwards, January 2nd, yeah, that’s the day I get
active.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entry #1466</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<em><u><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Deja Vu</span></u></em></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm in
here stuck with my thoughts.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They keep me
up making their roundabouts.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I feel as
though I'm losing myself piece by piece,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Into an eternal release.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anyone who
cares, can only sit there.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When
someone is capable, they tell me I'll never be able.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I sit here
in pain, going insane.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's like
a movie repeating in my head ,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All the
scenes connected by a thread.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I try
sleep them away, but they always pop up in my way.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I sought
out what I thought about,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then I
wind up talking it out.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It starts
out:</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm stuck
in here with my thoughts ,</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They keep
me up making their roundabouts</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entry #1467</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="text-align: left;">
<u><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Lost in the Crowd!</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The town I
grew up in influenced me to be a kid who has to turn around every once in a
while because I can't trust anyone in this town. It made me become a drug user
and a person who hangs around the wrong crowd, influenced by gang members,
always having people on the hunt for me for the decisions I made in the past. I
had to learn how to pack every time I stepped out my front door. If not I would
be 6ft deep. I was born in the struggle, powdered eggs taught me how to hustle.
Once my mom and brother got locked up, I was doing big things, until I decided
to get high. That's what had me end up in here one day. My sister is on her own
now, no one to call when she's lonely, or even when she needs to get shit off
her mind. I know I messed up bad because she just had a kid and her uncles
aren't gonna be there for a long ass time. There's days when I'm happy, sad but
mostly stressing. I have a kid on the way. A lot changed since my family got
locked up. I'll be a father in 3 months. My little darling won't see her father
till she's 3. I need to get out of here. Thera a lot to look forward to when I
get out, but also some things I don't look forward to. I feel remorse for what
I've done. If my mom was still out I would still be a kid. But my crowd
influenced me down the wrong path. That will never be the same. Once I get out
everything will change. I hope to see my mom and my brother when I get out. I'm
still waiting for that day to come, but I can't look forward to it anytime soon.
All this time being locked up, now I’m just waiting for my sentence to go
home. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entry #1468</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<u><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Three
Months of Learning</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I get out to the hall things will be different for me. This is the
first time that I have ever done something bad enough to get a consequence like
this. I got a sentence of three months. I don’t ever want to come back. I just
want to stay out of trouble when I am out. I want to be able to eat whatever
foods I want, to walk freely on my own and to go to sleep and wake up in my bed
knowing everything will be okay. I’ve learned many skills during the time I’ve
been here and I genuinely feel like I’ll use those skills to better myself
outside. When I get out, my life will be guided for me by probation and I will
have a monitor. I need to obey all the probation rules. Hopefully, I will not
come back due to violations. I will do the opposite of all the negative things
I did in the past to make my life better. I’ve learned from my mistakes. I know
there is a pull I have to resist: when I walk back into the negative things in
my old environment, I won’t transform into my old self.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entry #1469</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><div style="text-align: left;">
<u><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Should Not Be</span></u></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Getting
out...it's probably what every inmate thinks about at least once a day. I know
I do. I also think about my two little brothers. One's six years old and the
other is a year and a half. I also have a sister on the way I and I'm scarred I
won't be there for her birth. I'm in here for starting a fire...a big fire and
I think about how dumb my choice was all the time. I hate it in here. I can't
stand it. Every minute and every second of every day brings along more anxiety
and more stress than I can handle. Sure there's good moments, like at lunch
time when I'm talking with my friends and I get distracted, but as soon as I'm
sitting in my cell alone the anxiety and the stress of it all come's rushing
back. I ask myself how could I have been so stupid? How could I let the demon
drink influence my choices so strongly. I’d do anything to get a hold of it.
Even going as far as selling my own PS3 and all my games just to get it. Just
to feel that feeling again... To forget everything. Now I suffer for it, not
seeing my family, not being there for my brothers as they grow and get older.
This place should not be for me. I don't want to be here but I did my crime of
endangering so many lives. Now...I have to do my time. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: times, "times new roman", serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999; font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span></span></span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</span><span style="color: #999999; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
</div>
<div class="Body">
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<b
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mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt'>Writing Exchange<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></p>
<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'>
<span
style='font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt'>Fresno, Siskiyou, and
Butte County <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'>
<span
style='font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt'>Juvenile Halls<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'>
<a
href="http://www.writeyourtruth.blogspot.com"><span style='font-size:14.0pt;
mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt'>www.writeyourtruth.blogspot.com</span></a><span
class=MsoHyperlink><span style='font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt'><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
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chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79115520329403870.post-77033816983007432892017-06-29T07:54:00.000-07:002017-06-29T09:58:33.152-07:00<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Entry #1401</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">First
Day of School<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"> The
hardest thing I have learned is that I have anger problems. Since the
first day of Kindergarten I was always set up….pushed out…never part of the
group. When they handed me work, I was diagnosed with autism, ADHD,
Bipolar Disorder, dyslexia, and speech problems. Teachers would look at
me funny and ask, “Why can’t you just do your work?” It hurt to say, “I
just can’t.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"> Around
the 4<sup>th</sup> grade I was put in a special ed class and I rode the short
bus. People would make fun of me and call me retarded. It hurt, what they
said, but I learned to not let the words soak in. Still, my self-esteem and
confidence went down. I started looking down at the ground. I started mumbling.
I was sad and depressed. Grades stayed at D’s and F’s. I no longer wanted to go
to school. I knew that if I went, I would be bullied. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"> I
started to go into counseling because I had problems at home. My mom didn’t
understand what was going on. By the age of 11 I would blow up really easy. I
would take my anger out on the wrong people because they might have said
something that would trigger me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"> My
dad was really never in my life. He was a drunk, an alcoholic. He left
when I was one and returned when I was five. When he would drink, he
would get very violent. One night he drank too much and I ticked him off. He
punched me in the mouth and threw me down the stairs. I went to the hospital.
He messed up all of my front teeth. My mom kicked him out again. I felt
resentful towards him. Ten days later my mom went to the doctors and she was pregnant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1402<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Excuse
Me<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">God, can you hear me? Are you there
when I'm sleeping between brick walls on a thin mattress?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Are you there when I feel no remorse
for the things I've done?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">God can you hear my prayers? Because
I think it's just getting worse.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Do you see me on my knees asking,
not for an easy life, but for the strength to endure it?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">God, is it true everything happens
for a reason? So....then my mom leaving was for the best?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">God can you hear me?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1403<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">First Time Falling In Love<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"> The first time I fell in love, I
was heart struck. I fell for boy who really didn’t give a ****. He told me a lot of lies and I believed them.
I don’t know why, maybe because he looked in my eyes and told me he would never
cheat or lie.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"> He used to walk me home and
always told me I’d never be alone. He told me we should have a baby and we
would be his world. That all changed when he got himself a new girl. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"> I sit in my cell day by day
wondering if he will ever change, wondering if he will ever love me the way I’m
saying. I still think about him every day. I wonder if I cross his mind
anymore. I wish he would just say “Hey, can I see my baby even though we aren’t
dating. I was so in love I felt so dumb. I now think he never gave a ****. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"> Now I’m in love with my
beautiful daughter and I know she won’t bother to break her mother’s heart and
I won’t ever break my princess’ heart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9Jt1l-wqUj4FnqIkSnhQdxQpsPtMFZuVdwz-MpvLuL658iKLwRqJYdKJtpbNuY6ZKE8iq03d9hPuwbV5IyL8a5fVKlpl5sq7BL865jkNfxsvcAZgiS8uf7Fs6pn8BZoz1Fcd1le0i7MOw/s1600/pic.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="171" data-original-width="345" height="158" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9Jt1l-wqUj4FnqIkSnhQdxQpsPtMFZuVdwz-MpvLuL658iKLwRqJYdKJtpbNuY6ZKE8iq03d9hPuwbV5IyL8a5fVKlpl5sq7BL865jkNfxsvcAZgiS8uf7Fs6pn8BZoz1Fcd1le0i7MOw/s320/pic.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1404<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">No
Regrets<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I'm so glad to have both of my
parents together. Even though I'm the only kid out of eight that put them
through all this, they never gave up on me once. When I get off probation I'm
going to give them all I got because they deserve it. I know I brought them
down but I'm going to make it right. I don't want to regret when it's too late.
I don't want to see tears coming down their faces again from what I did. The
only tears I want to see on their faces is when they call my name on stage when
I'm graduating from college.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry # 1405<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Hard Lesson</span></u></b><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Maybe if
I had been led by example, not by following other people, I wouldn’t be in the
position I am in. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">That’s
the hardest thing I have learned. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">For the
past 4 years I have been messing up. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">In and
out, in and out of the Hall. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Why? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Because
I followed the wrong people. I didn’t want to think the people I looked up to
were hurting me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Nor did
they.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1406<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">The
Monster<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I guess as I grew up, I learned
never to trust, that you never really have anyone but yourself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Nothing's ever given, always earned.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">When I lay awake, avoiding the
monster to come, when I close my eyes... he's still there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">There's never an escape, he's
everywhere.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">In the words of the person beside
you, in the next thing my mind reminds, when I look in the mirror... he's
there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I try to escape, but I'm trapped
under his cape.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I hide, but I'm still in his eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">He causes torment and pain to where
I will never be sane.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Makes me feel like it's my fault
and, he's all I got.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1407<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Rice
and Enchiladas<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from my cold cell wall, from getting doors shut on me all day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from the warm two story house.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from the roses in my grand-parents yard, the cherries on the trees.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from Friday movie nights and light brown eyes, from George and Caroline.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">From be
back when the street lights come on and don’t leave at night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from a Catholic family, going to church on Sundays.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I’m from
Mexican and Italian blood, rice and enchiladas.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">From the
smile on my mom’s face and the walk of my daughter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from pictures hung along the walls.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry # 1408<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Suffering<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">My
step-dad, I thought he was cool at first. He took us on hikes and back packing
trips. He liked to teach us about the world outside of our little town. He was
one of the most amazing people in my life. We even had the same first name for
God sake! But then, quite abruptly, all of that began to change. I can remember
the first time he threated to kill me, the first time he beat me. I can
remember crying to my boyfriend almost every week. I can remember my mom
turning a blind eye because she was so desperate for love. I don’t blame her
though. If he made her happy, I would suffer for her, like she suffered for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlk2Xij5W05c4wIZgh8oXVxy_yX1Ag9YM5SpVBDm8A6zPE9oR1ZfjW23ZcxLP9QV_4ReBVbMO0FD7uFdsSePoAHcQNJ1zpQAsqE3JHwwjKzrPMJ1Rjv88LNCdcETYon-11VpoCvtdGH7rX/s1600/cover.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="349" data-original-width="720" height="155" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlk2Xij5W05c4wIZgh8oXVxy_yX1Ag9YM5SpVBDm8A6zPE9oR1ZfjW23ZcxLP9QV_4ReBVbMO0FD7uFdsSePoAHcQNJ1zpQAsqE3JHwwjKzrPMJ1Rjv88LNCdcETYon-11VpoCvtdGH7rX/s320/cover.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1409<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Falling Leaves<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from Robin Jeans, from Ferragamo and Jordans.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from the carpet where the vacuum can’t pick me up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from the woods, the leaves so high up, I’m never bothered until I fall down in
the Fall.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from an artistic family, we are all talented, from my Grandma Gail and my
father, and we are the Bs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">From
green eyes to brown eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from Toledo, Ohio, where I was born, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">From
homemade macaroni and ribs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">From the
ribs I broke to the John Deere and the broken arm to football.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from California with my grandma who gives me support and love and the wisdom I
need.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1410<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">The
Beginning<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">My mom and my dad were very young
when they got married: My dad was 19 and my mom was 17. Two years after I was
born they split up. My dad ended up moving on and I was back and forth between
them until I was about 3. Then my dad went to prison for arson. I lived with my
mom until I was nine years-old... until my dad got released. He had no place to
stay at first. Then he found another girl. I moved in because I got held back
in school and I couldn't focus while I was in class. I moved, but still did
bad. Then CPS got into our lives because of the living with no power and being
left alone. I told my dad I didn't want to go back to my mom because she was
struggling with three other kids. I missed him a lot and I wanted to stay with
him, but CPS ended up placing me in foster care because of his living conditions.
I lived at a foster home for a year and then I moved in my grandma's house. By
that time I was 12 and I wasn't happy living with her because I just wanted to
live with my dad. I ran away and stopped going to school when I was 13. I
wasn't doing very well, I had no money and no place to sleep. So I started
selling drugs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1411<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I Want To See You Make It<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from the ghetto.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from the wind chimes that sing in the breeze.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from the freshly cut vegetables in the rich soiled garden.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from Mexican traditions and hard workers, from Mom and Dad to brothers and
sisters.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from schooling and life lessons.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">From
don’t throw your life away and I want to see you make it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from the Catholic home where having faith is not an option.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I’m from
Mexico’s homemade chili and handmade tortillas.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">From the
life lessons of my dad’s past, the ambitions of mom’s heart and the fortunes of
my older cousins.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from the sweat and blood my parents have shed so that my brothers and sisters
and I could live where and how we live today.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry # 1412<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Thoughts</span></u></b><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">As I sit
here day by day<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I start
to think of a better way<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">So when
I’m out I won’t get locked away<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">As I sit
here I think of escape<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">But when
I think it is just a waste<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Because
I’ll come back another day<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">My mind
begins to wander again<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">It’s
like a grenade and I just pulled the pin<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">All my
thoughts start to explode<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I try to
stop them or at least get them to slow<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I can’t
stop them and words begin to flow<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">And next
thing I know I’m back in my cell<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Because
I told them how I truly feel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1413<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Missing
<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I was only sevenyears-old the last
time I saw him. I didn't know that I wouldn't see him after that. Now that I'm
locked up I ask myself, "Where are you dad? Why did you leave me, am I
just a disappointment to you?" <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I ask myself these things because I
feel like I have to blame someone, when really I'm the only one to blame. I
don't know what was going through my dad's head when he left. Maybe he didn't
want to have the responsibility of taking care of me. Whatever it was, he
couldn't have known how much it would affect me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">He didn't even consider that someday
I would need him to be there for me. Now I just think of him as a selfish,
greedy bastard that I hope someday realizes what he's done. As I grew older I
knew that he wouldn't come back. I told myself I wouldn't be like him. Then
when I started drinking and smoking, I remembered seeing him do these things
when I was a kid. I thought to myself, “Is this who I am meant to be, just like
him?” Later on I realized that no matter how much of him I had in me, I could
still make a difference in my life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">No matter how much devastation he
brought to my life, I won't let him or my past get in the way of being
successful. I don't know where my father is now. I just hope he knows that I
don't hate him. I just pity him, for missing out in his son's life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1414<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Present</span></u></b><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I live
by the second<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Not by
the minute<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">People
say look ahead<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">But I’m
stuck in the present<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I can’t
look back<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I can’t
look forward<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">It
brings back too many memories<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Or
things that will never be<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">When I
look back<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">There’s
too much violence and drugs like crack<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I
remember when I was eight I began to pack<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">For a
time I’ll run and never look back<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">But when
they find my bag,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">They
beat me and lock me in a room<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Where I’ll
be trapped.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmz76-ODiPxd4HXIEdzFtLWrtB0NWDvBHtusx1OC1WBcLMhgwPFm68Tmc5IkuFmiJuwcgogofy3cc-lDAR7TV3hASaC3OYGTdWTjztDQqDoC3xWmpyyng11GS1WddANiw0IKnOPOdlqDEi/s1600/wordle.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="676" data-original-width="1021" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmz76-ODiPxd4HXIEdzFtLWrtB0NWDvBHtusx1OC1WBcLMhgwPFm68Tmc5IkuFmiJuwcgogofy3cc-lDAR7TV3hASaC3OYGTdWTjztDQqDoC3xWmpyyng11GS1WddANiw0IKnOPOdlqDEi/s320/wordle.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1415<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Right
From Wrong<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">The hardest thing I ever had to do
was not to keep going down the path I went down, because I never learned right
from wrong. I never had a role model when I was growing up. My mom and dad left
my sister and I when I was three-years-old. My mom left because she had her new
boyfriend and they were smoking meth. My father was in prison. One day, she
told me she was going to the store. Years passed by and I really never knew
what happened to her. Someone told me she was In a different state, locked up
because she got caught up with meth in her car and did a year in state prison.
My father...I really just never knew what happened to him. He would always be
in and out of prison ever since I was born. So when I got to the age where I
was able to do things with my "friends" that got me in trouble I
never learned my lesson. I didn't care about anything because of how stressed
out I was, always wondering if I was going to see my mom or dad again. All
these years went by, me always getting in trouble. I wrecked a car with my
brother; broke my ribs and he broke his arms. We ran. The cops caught us. It
was a hit and run, so I got locked up for 3-4 months. Ever since, I've been in
and out of the hall. They gave me 12 months this time. It’s me not caring that
got me down this path. The hardest thing I've ever had to learn was to care
when you're down. I just learned it the hard way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1416<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Mom<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">My mom,
I love her so much! She is my pride and joy, even though I’m in juvenile hall
right now. One day I will make her proud. She enhances my life, making it so
much easier by doing everything she can for us and being a strong single
mother. I want to thank her for everything she’s done for me. I want to thank
her for being my mother and father because my dad wasn’t man enough to step up
to the plate and do his job. I want to thank my mom for being strong not only
for herself, but for six of her children too. I appreciate my mom for all the
things she’s done for us, even when times were tough she never gave up. I want
to thank Mom for sticking through all the hard times that we had and for never
giving up on herself and her kids. I thank her for working twelve hours a day
as hard as she could just to make sure each and every one of us kids had a roof
over our head, food on out table, and clothes on our backs. I thank her for not
giving up on us no matter how hard times got no matter what the case was she
was always there for each and every one of us kids. I thank my mom for all the
love and safety she provided to us kids when we needed her most! I love you Mom
and I thank you for being there for my brothers, sisters and me through thick
and thin. I thank you for being strong for us no matter how hard times got.
Thank you Momma, I love you, my queen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1417<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Hero<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I had a very good dad. He recently
passed away from liver cancer. He was 52 years old when he died. He was born
January 1965 and died December 2016. Growing up I had a difficult life because
I was always around drugs, bad influential people, and never really had
discipline. But my dad was always there for my ass no matter what I did or
where I was at. I overdosed and got taken to UC Davis then to Sierra Vista
Hospital because the doctors thought I attempted suicide. I was just trying to
get high. My dad was there EVERY single day and we lived in Oroville so it was
at least a couple hour drive. When times were bad and money was low, he still
found a way to put clothes on our backs and food on the table. I miss my dad so
much and I wish he was still here. I don't think it was his time to go. Stupid
cancer just came out of nowhere and stole my dad from me and my family. ****
Cancer. I remember when I was little and he would leave places. I would always
ask where he was going and he would tell me, "I'm going to see a man about
a horse." As many times as he said that, he never came back with a horse.
He was always so funny and tried to lighten up everyone's mood. When we were
out eating we would have little wars with straws shooting crushed ice at each
other. Or when we went swimming, when I was little, he would let me ride on his
back. It felt like he could fix pretty much anything. My dad is and always will
be my hero. I love you dad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry # 1418<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Confused<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I’m
confused. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I’m lost
in a maze and she is the exit. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Countless
dead ends of misery, sadness, and pain with twists and turns, hope of finding
the exit. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">The exit
is all I think about and what will happen once I’m out with all the desolation
and suffering and confusion I’ve experienced while inside? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Confusion
and love burn inside like a fire. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Then I
find the end and what I see isn’t confusion, but illusion as it is. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I open
the exit and there she stands, with arms wide open. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">But I
notice something: she seems broken, while I was lost in my own emotions, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Worrying
about what might happen and wallowing in my own pain. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">The
person I cared about most was experiencing the same thing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">How
could I be so selfish?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1419<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Strangers<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">There
are faces everywhere I go<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Most of
them are ones I don’t know<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">They
scream and shout as I run<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I stop
and think what have I done<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">When
they find me they point their guns<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">When
they reach me they slam me to the ground<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Now all
the faces still unknown surround me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1420<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Motivation<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I have a great mom who is always
there for me no matter what. She never misses a visit unless she has no way
here. She's worked hard her whole life and watched over me growing up. When I
was struggling, my mom helped me do better. She always motivates me. I am very
happy to have my mom in my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">When I get out, I hope to be able to
buy my mom a place to live and a good car. I'm going to be on a straight path,
doing what I can to stay out of trouble, and taking care of my son.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1421<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I
Miss Him<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I just lost my grandpa one month and
two weeks ago and we were closer then he and his own son. I miss my grandpa. He
died one week before I came in here. I miss him. I want to be with him
right now. My dad wants to be with him right now, too. But he would just want me
to do good and graduate from high school and go to college. I miss him. I wish
he was still alive and so does my dad. I just want my grandpa back. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1422<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Rewind<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"> I am from bullets, from crime
and death. I am from pollution in the air, dingy and dirty. It feels like
poison in the lungs. I am from city buses and city streets whose tires and
sounds I remember as if I saw them every day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"> I am from red and blue lights
from black and white cars. I am from act and ask questions later, from roll one
and smoke one, I am from stop crying and toughen up and get things done on my
own.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"> I am from McDonald’s large sodas
and fatty foods, from a hole my father got from a bullet, the mouth I shut to
keep my backside from getting whipped.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"> I am from a folder in my closet
to keep from spilling old pictures, a lot of unforgotten faces. I go to sleep
and dream about unforgotten times. There are many times I wish that I could
rewind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1423<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Childhood<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from bunkbeds, from thrift stores and yard sales. I am from pictures, lawn
chairs and the swimming pool. I am from palm trees and yellow grass. I am from
no food at the end of the month and lots of food at the beginning. From little
sisters and living with grandma and grandpa. I am from yelling and arguing with
angry little sisters, from “stop fighting with your sisters” to “you have to go
to school.” I am from church every Sunday afternoon. I’m from a hospital and a
small town, cookies and milk. From the times at the lake, from the camping with
cousins and all of us being short. I am from my childhood.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1424<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">My
Crowd<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Long cold nights, thinking about my
life<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I'm going to do a lot of time. I
really hope the days fly by. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">My whole family’s locked up. It's
really sad how we all switched up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I need to get out. My whole family
is stressed out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I have court soon; it might be my
last day in this hall. 25 to life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I'm just trying to get things right.
I was always doing drugs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Hung out with the wrong crowd, look
where I'm at now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik8vIEfTetB0-YVLgPqUTKeY95MUqdzt8nqLYSoyB0S7sTPdKIwUGRhRXtmVYg8qwBrMSoxyGa_UCWX08SAxgHul5CyM-Cb81fLrfeV60RPQT5TYivmFddrqB6m0isv_McxkVYw8z6uEFz/s1600/another.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="258" data-original-width="405" height="203" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik8vIEfTetB0-YVLgPqUTKeY95MUqdzt8nqLYSoyB0S7sTPdKIwUGRhRXtmVYg8qwBrMSoxyGa_UCWX08SAxgHul5CyM-Cb81fLrfeV60RPQT5TYivmFddrqB6m0isv_McxkVYw8z6uEFz/s320/another.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1425<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Locked
up<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">My father and I<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Always doing time<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Sometimes I really just need to be
alone<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Sorry Mom, I can't come home<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Just like my dad sitting in a cell, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">thoughts got me thinking I'm going
to hell<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I talk to my younger sister every
now and then<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I tell her to tell all my friends I said
Hi and Bye<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">But I'm locked up<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Stressing so hard it makes me want
to throw up<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I'm doing so long, I really got to
grow up<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1426<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Choices<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">The hardest thing I've had to learn
is it doesn't matter how many times you get away with something you will always,
in the end, get caught if you keep it up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">My mom was a drunk and a pill
popper. All the way up to the day she passed away I saw her under some sort of
influence. After that I sort of fell down the same path. Then I started to
commit crimes with my friends. I would get high and rob anyone that was worth a
couple of bucks. My mom wasn't a criminal, just an addict, lost in the moment,
who didn't have the right people to help her with her addiction.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I developed a heavy, everyday
addiction. I was selling drugs, robbing people's houses, fighting, carrying a
gun, and stealing people's cars. Now I'm locked up for over a year. If there
was one thing I could change, it’s my poor choices. And I would have never
tried the drugs that changed my mindset in such a negative way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1427<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Decided
To<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">The hardest lesson I ever learned
was that you really should think about choices before you make them. The
biggest choice I have made in my life was should I or should I not smoke dope.
That’s the biggest choice I have ever made and, of course, I chose the wrong choice.
It all started when I began hanging out with some new kids at my new school.
When we became really good friends they told me that they did dope. They asked
me if I wanted to try it. The first couple times they asked, I said no. They
continued to ask. So one day I said screw it and decided to try it. What I
really didn't see coming was the bad places it would take me and the horrible
things it would make me do to feed my addiction. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1428<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Exhausting<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">My real
father is locked up and not really in my life at all. My mother and step-father
are both very successful. Both of my parents are very strict as you could
imagine and are always pushing me to be as successful as they are. It’s very
exhausting trying to meet all of their demands, and sometimes I just snap and
do whatever I want. It’s pretty frustrating because they act like they’re perfect
and have never done anything wrong in their lives when I know they had just as
much trouble growing up as I am right now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry # 1429<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">COLD DAYS</span></u></b><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">These
days are all so cold,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Making
me feel like I’m 70 years old.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Which
isn’t good, it’s bad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I’m only
16 years old!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">These
days are always testing me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Why they
always testing me?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I try my
hardest to not let them get the best of me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I’ll be
damned.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">But
whenever I look back,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">It seems
they do get the best of me, so I guess I am damned.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Goddamn.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I know
it’s not good to look at things that way<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">But how
else should I look at it?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">It’s a
stupid, worthless idea to look at it in any other way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I put a
smile on my face, try to look happy, but it’s all fake.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I feel
like I’m gonna break.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Break
apart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">But to
break away<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">From all
this hate<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Sounds
great. Even though it feels like it’s too late<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">To
determine my fate<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">It feels
good<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">To
imaginate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1430<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">The World We Share<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from a hole in the roof, made by hot firemen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from the barricade, in which we ate canned raviolis.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from the bush that burned down in flames.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from a place where music comes every day, from my father, mother, two obnoxious
brothers, when we all want to play.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">From
never walking outside with wet hair.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from Biblical quotes and handcrafted wooden crosses.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from California, with mac n cheese, pizza for meals.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">From the
times of endless trips to the mountains, and camping to cliff diving and games
of paintball with my brothers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I am
from the world because the world is my home with my family in which we share.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1431<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Maslow’s
Needs<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"> I
had to learn how to grow up at a young age. My dad passed away two months after
my thirteenth birthday and my mom had been going in and out of jail. Eventually
she ended up in prison and I was just starting my freshman year at high school.
My sister who was twenty at the time had 5,000 dollars of my mom’s money that
she was supposed to use to take care of the house with. She blew through all of
that money with her boyfriend in about a month. She would never buy food for
the house so I wasn't eating very much and I ended up losing a lot of weight. I
was getting a little over 200 dollars every month because my dad passed away at
47 from a heart attack and my sister was taking it all and saying that I needed
to help pay rent. I decided that I wasn't going to stay there with her so I
packed up a backpack full of stuff and left. I moved to my older sister’s house
and I asked her if I could stay with her and her husband. It was nice living
with them for a while. I was going to school and eating everyday. I even had my
own room. I had just turned 14 and I had a little job working for my friend’s
dad doing things around his house, like digging trenches to fixing pipes and
helping to install fences.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"> Then
everything started to happen again. It started with her husband not wanting to
take me to go buy some new shoes with money that I had. Then he started saying
that I couldn't eat food during the day. They would stay up late at night and I
was still trying to go to school every day. He told me that if I wanted to eat
I had to stay up until dinner or I wouldn't get anything. They wouldn't have
dinner until the middle of the night at times. It all ended when one day they
were supposed to come back at around four with 100 dollars pulled off of my
card so I can get a pair of shoes and go to Chico. They showed up about 5
minutes before the very last bus came. My sister’s husband was trying to make
me go down to the store for him before he gave me my money and I was telling
him that I didn't have time to or I'd miss the bus. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">My sister finally got him to give me
the money and as I'm leaving he tells me not to bother coming back. After that
I stayed in Chico with my aunt for a while but they didn't have much room in
their house. So for the next year and a half I was just staying with friends
who would let me stay over for a couple nights at a time. I stopped going to
school. I was more worried about where I was going to sleep or trying to figure
out how I could get something to eat. By the time I was 16 my brother and my
mom got an apartment together and I lived there. But around that same time is
when I started messing up. I started partying a lot. Drinking and doing drugs
with friends. I was also selling drugs to help my family pay rent and other
bills and feeding myself and the friends I had living with me. I was doing this
so consistently and I was making a lot of money. But eventually I got into an
argument with my brothers girlfriend and she kicked me out. So I was staying
with a really good friend of mine for a while and I didn't have to pay rent. I
went from there other friends and to my other sisters for a while and I've been
doing the same thing until it all finally caught up with me. Now here I am in
the hall. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry # 1432<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Role Models<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Both my
parents have been good role models in my life. I just chose not to listen to
them. I was very defiant, but especially my momma. She tried helping me the
most, but I would not listen. I would truthfully go back and fix things with
them if I could. Both my parents have done so much for me, and I wish I could
tell them sorry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry # 1433<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Reality</span></u></b><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Being in
a locked facility,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Trying
to take your mind out of reality,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Some get
lost in books, music, or writing,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">But the common
thing is we are all trying,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Some
people are hurt but refuse to be caught crying,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">We all
have things in common,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Like
being hidden from society.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry # 1434<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Learning<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">It was
hard for me to learn how to cope with my anxiety, even though I don’t have it
completely under control. I’ve mostly been able to. It’s been getting somewhat
better, but I know that it will never go away. I need to learn how to keep it
under control and I can learn how to let it be a less devastating thing. I
can’t let it consume me anymore.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1435<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">A
New Plan<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Four walls closing in, feeling
depressed<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">all I ever wanted was to be free
like the rest<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">locked in my room all I can do is
sleep<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">when chow comes I can barely eat<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">thinking about where they might send
me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Lost in my thoughts and my whole
body feeling empty<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I have always done this alone<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">now I have a daughter and she needs
her father home<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">thinking back to the day I ran<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">wishing I would have waited and just
went with the plan<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I was so close to being out, but now
I'm back with new charges<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">waiting for a court that’s so
heartless<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">one day I'll be out with no
probation<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">but until then I'm counting down the
days until my graduation!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhopHM5NsRlyxdWwEDCYzq3nLhe03d6loYJIXVnpgom2BzZ6vTK-uCOOd1hexNU3zIsvhF1VWke4DtD4c7WLK29ZwBkdOW0LN0V2eEMbzJOgSgQnSzZ-PZ7rl3xRlffbHK1z2xLLB_kZN9R/s1600/last.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="622" data-original-width="623" height="319" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhopHM5NsRlyxdWwEDCYzq3nLhe03d6loYJIXVnpgom2BzZ6vTK-uCOOd1hexNU3zIsvhF1VWke4DtD4c7WLK29ZwBkdOW0LN0V2eEMbzJOgSgQnSzZ-PZ7rl3xRlffbHK1z2xLLB_kZN9R/s320/last.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry # 1436<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">My War Against Aggression</span></u></b><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">The
hardest thing I’ve had to learn, I’m still learning. While I’m sitting in my
cell, my brain is burning while it earns back the trust of my heart. I still
can’t trust my gut instinct because my thoughts of good and bad are so far
apart. Where do I start? I guess I’ll start by learning the art of owning my
anger. Zoning in until I can put my aggressions on a hanger in the back of my
mind. I’m so close. I try to stay silent on my mission but everyone knows. The
beast is awake and he’s ready to explode. But no. There is no mistaking me for
the monster you made me out to be because I run the show. I’m sure you’ve
already been told, that there isn’t any stopping me when I say I’m going to be
something, I’m going to use every part of me to be what I set out to be. I will
achieve something greater in life, and I’m not a liar. Right now I feel higher
than I ever did on weed. It’s my natural high to find out what secrets my mind
is hiding from me. My aggressions will not overcome the sea of peace that has
washed over the barren terrain I didn’t know was my brain. A wave of light from
somewhere in the distance shined so bright it tore through my sights and let me
envision a life without the disease we call violence. So I can teach my
daughter to love not hate. So she will have a better fate than I started out
with. Then and only then will I be done with my mission:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">My War
Against Aggression<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1437<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Who Matters Most<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">The
hardest thing I had to learn was putting someone else before me. I grew up a
spoiled kid I always got what I wanted. I did not like my cousins or siblings
around my grandpa. When I got something I did not like to share with anyone. If
I had money I would keep it on me. Once I got pregnant at fifteen, I had to
learn how to put my daughter before me. Now I do not get jealous when my
daughter is around my grandpa because I understand he is treating her how he
treats me. When I have something I have to share with my daughter. If I have
money I have to buy her things she needs before I buy something I want. I
learned to put someone before me, my daughter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1438<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">For Kathy</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I was born in the struggle tryna
make it out the jungle,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">As a young'n everyone told me I had
to hustle,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I was 14 hitting licks for your TV,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Running thru your house stealing
everything I see,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I be doing big things ain't no point
in doing small,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Grand Momma always told me "you
a man stand tall",<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">That's my angel up in heaven
inspiration to us all,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I remember when I was six and I was
holding you,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">And you told me the successful were
a chosen few,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I be tryna live right and be a
better you,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">But lord knows there'll never be
another you,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Late nights in a cage had me soul
searching,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Like what's the meaning to this life
if mine ain't working?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">But Ima do it ima get it ima make it
out,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Hand my momma the keys to that new
house,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">She live on a beach but got a pool
now,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">That's a lavish ass house and I'm so
proud. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1439<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">The System</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">The hardest thing I learned was that
I was stuck in the system (foster care and juvenile hall.) I got put in foster
care at a young age because I was abused. Foster care was scary; being a
little kid going into someone else's home. But I also felt relieved…safe, in a
way. They bounced me around from foster homes to group homes. My mom never came
around for visits. She was either drugged out or in prison. Juvenile hall
became my home when I started to do drugs or was getting into fights. The
foster system didn't feel like placing me anywhere so they had me arrested.
This happened a few times until my crimes became too big. So now I'm locked up,
waiting for time to go by...just waiting... <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry # 1440<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Struggle</span></u></b><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Have you
ever been told you can be what you want<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">But when
you try you find out that’s wrong<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">When I
tried to be what I want<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I got in
trouble with the law<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">That’s
when the struggle hit my life<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Getting
put in custody for a bunch of lies<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Thinking
of a time I knew how to love<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">But
that’s long gone now,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Look
what I’ve become<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I’m a
person stuck in the system trying to change right<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">But for
that to happen, it’s an internal fight<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Every
time I get close to the light<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">It seems
as if I’ve lost my sight<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Because
my anger takes control and sends me to the night<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Where I
will be lost and forgotten in some time<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Now I’m
counting the bricks losing my mind<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Telling
myself it will be all fine<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">It sucks
the days go by fast but the weeks go by slow<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Everyone
told me to put on a show<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">So I can
get off probation and stay at home<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I always
wonder if it will end<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Dealing
with the system since about age ten<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">When I
hit my teens I spent most of it in custody<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Because
the choices I made turned out to be ugly<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">When I
finally got out, I thought I could make it<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Then I
got locked back up where I have to fake it<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Now my
one goal is to change my ways<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">While I
am locked up counting down the days<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">So when
I get out I can make it all go away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry # 1441<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Even Though<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">When I
was young, my dad developed a bad drinking problem and it caused my parents to
split up. When I was just 7 years old, my dad left and pretty much disappeared
for about 7 years then he came back into my life. I learned that he had been stabbed by his
ex-wife and he still had a drinking problem. Now, my dad is a big part of my
life and I admire him very much. He is my best friend even though he still
abuses alcohol.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry # 1442<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">The Positive Side<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">My mom
is beautiful. I love her so much. She would never neglect us, always there for
her kids. She does a lot for us. She’s a shoulder I can cry on, only been in
here for a day and I miss her so much… #1 supporter even though I would abuse
her, but we’re good now. We worked everything out. But now she’s stressed out
worrying what I’m doing. I feel so bad. I cry mostly every night knowing I’m
disappointing her and my lil’ siblings and my big bro barely home….damn. She
loves me. Hearing her cry makes me want to die ‘cause I want my mother, the one
who gave me life, to be happy…I need to get my mind right, to make her see the
positive side of me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1443<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Locked Up</span></u></b><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">There’s
a place full of lies<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Where you
hear muffled cries<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">All the
way through the night<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Some of
us wish we can get high as a kite<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Living
in a room with a 24/7 light<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">We at
least can pass by the time<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">We can
play cards, sports, or listen to music<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">While
we’re waiting to be released into society<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">But
while we’re stuck some of us face anxiety<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">We’re
dealing with people who try to change us<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">When we
don’t listen they give threats that weight us down as much as a bus<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">They try
to keep us until we grow old<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">But we
just fake it until their fooled<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Then
when we are released <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">We mess
up and get drunk, disturbing the peace<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">So if we
would have just listened<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">We would
have had a chance at a new beginning<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">So this
time around we should try<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">So we
don’t grow old this way and die<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Because
then that would be a waste of our whole life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1444<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Slavery</span></u></b><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">People
always say they’re full of bravery<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">But they
have nothing compared to those who dealt with slavery<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">They got
hit, whipped, or ended up dead<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Because
of people who thought they were better because of their skin<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Those people
got messed up in the head<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Watching
their brothers, sisters, mothers, or fathers end up on their death bed<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">There
are still people who believe it is right<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">But if
they had to do it, they would die in a night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFssMKp7z3TYtJqNqu1Dy2TiyBBCcBH-KxUlNclsngiZfvD9AlpUSbWq9XBb4MLnFZk66HjhjnqUnVKcFsSGesPlFQExvcOXUeCgV7Jr1AXtnxMyC_P-eLKn0l8tChAacolENh19E62-i6/s1600/anime.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="243" data-original-width="314" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFssMKp7z3TYtJqNqu1Dy2TiyBBCcBH-KxUlNclsngiZfvD9AlpUSbWq9XBb4MLnFZk66HjhjnqUnVKcFsSGesPlFQExvcOXUeCgV7Jr1AXtnxMyC_P-eLKn0l8tChAacolENh19E62-i6/s1600/anime.png" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1445<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Mom<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"> Well for starters I’m not
exactly sure I could judge my mom. Nonetheless, I can’t classify her as good or
bad. Let me start by saying she is something alright. Yeah, of course, I love
my mom, but some things she does well, it’s pretty far out there. I know I’m
not perfect either, but, I feel that she could’ve done a way better job at
raising me and all my brothers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"> I really do love her, don’t get
me wrong. She’s absolutely one of a kind and she’s beautiful inside and out,
but plays too much. What I mean about that is she would go through to the
extreme just to get a point across to me and all of my friends I grew up with.
Despite all that I’ll always love her no matter what…that’s my mom regardless
of anything I might say or claim. How can I, according to her…she brought me
into this world and she could just as easily take me out. It is not a bad thing
that she will do the most just to get through to me because I am not always
going to listen to her. I am pretty hard-headed. Guess you could figure out
where I get my stubbornness from. Yeah. Mom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"> Regardless of all the mistakes made on both
sides, I will always love her and never forget everything she has done for me.
Although I know we both have always meant well, we have had our rough paths and
doubts. We have bumped heads and had our disagreements, but despite it all, I
know in the end my mom and family will always care for each other. That thought
right there is the best feeling ever and that will never allow me to forget the
true value of family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Entry #1446<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 263.25pt;">
<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Sometimes</span></u></b><b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">I’m
sitting here in my cell, a tiny form of hell.
Lying awake, thinking about decisions I wish I never made, decisions
that were huge mistakes, decisions that straight up wasted a part of my life
away. Everyone tells me everything I do is wrong, but I think it’s all okay so
I roll my eyes and continue on anyway without a backward glance, but right
here, right now I just want another chance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">All day,
all night, my mind is full of fright. I’m afraid, so I fight. I’m afraid of the
light but the darkness helps sometimes. I’m tired of all the lies and all the
sleepless nights from being as high as a kite. Sometimes I hear that voice in
my head that says “What the **** are you doing with your life?” Most times I
can’t deal with all the strife that comes along with life, the pain that makes
me go insane and want to end my life. It’s depressing, I know, but sometimes
those thoughts don’t do much but grow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">The fire
in me grows and feels like it’s exposed to a burst of air, ready to explode
without a care. It’s fueled by anger and rage and it leads me to participate in
things that make my mind deteriorate and disintegrate to dust and most times I
feel like worthless rust on and old forgotten and beat up truck that learns not
to give a **** because life will go right on by without even looking you in the
eye. To watch all the days just fly away is a pain no man, woman, child should
ever have to sustain and no one will have a clue if they look at you what
you’ve been through, you’ll honestly believe no one cares about you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Do we
just feel that way sometimes? Do we do all the drugs to just pass the time? I
know I’m sitting here trying to rhyme as a way to tell you what’s going on in
my mind. But I’m happy you are all giving me the time of day, even though I
don’t think you care anyway. I know sometimes I wish I could go back to the
good old days, you know? When we used to fight over the T.V. remote and not
when we were gonna get another baggie of dope. Sometimes there isn’t any hope
to help me cope with all this crap I’m trying to fit into a rap, but life goes
on whether you like it or not. So once in a while just stop, take a breath, and
think, don’t stress your mind out like you might do every week, because sometimes
it’ll make you even more weak.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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chico.baileyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06063937843085597594noreply@blogger.com0